Does anyone else have crap genetics?

Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.

Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."

k.

Um... first you say that we don't have reading comprehension.
But WE are the rude ones.

This OP that you are so defending is complaining about her "crap genetics" when in reality, she doesn't have "crap genetics", just a bad body image.

And frankly, *I* (among others) am offended that she would consider not being able to spot reduce as having "crap genetics" when so many of us have ACTUAL "crap genetics".

And I think that YOU are the mean one for being supportive of that.

So... enjoy your unicorn ride.

Perhaps I said things in the heat of the moment (reading comprehension) but that is weak in comparison to the many comments made towards OP in general. Whether it be her logic, her exercise habits, her eating habits, whatever, that have all been gathered from a single post. I'm hardly mean for being supportive of OP, I suffer from anxiety and one of my triggers is my weight and how my body looks. It's almost crippling to face it every day, and I feel sad that there are people out there who feel like me, or are becoming that person. Showing empathy to someone because they feel ****ty about their body, even though they work out, is not being a bad person. Kicking someone when they're down is a bad person. Comparing your life situations to theirs, having not known them at all, is being a bad person. Sure, some people actually have genetic issues, but to tell someone that they feel less than you is terrible. There is always something that is going on in someones life, and saying that their feelings/thoughts aren't validated because you have it worse, is bad.

Monstergirl may be the most sensible person on MFP. OP posted on the motivation & support board because she wanted to vent her frustration and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. She did not post on a Genetic Disorders message board because she is not trying to say she has a diagnosable genetic-related medical condition. Forums cannot work as they are intended if the people who need/want to use them must be in fear of getting flamed by overly-sensitive internet trolls.

Overly-sensitive troll? For pointing out what genetics are actually capable of that's actually debilitating? You can lose weight, gain muscle, and get therapy: all of these things can either help change your body or change your perspective.

Yeah. What you call overly-sensitive, I call offering a perspective of reality. But, hey, by all means. Boohoo about it. It certainly solves the problem.

Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.

Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."

k.

Um... first you say that we don't have reading comprehension.
But WE are the rude ones.

This OP that you are so defending is complaining about her "crap genetics" when in reality, she doesn't have "crap genetics", just a bad body image.

And frankly, *I* (among others) am offended that she would consider not being able to spot reduce as having "crap genetics" when so many of us have ACTUAL "crap genetics".

And I think that YOU are the mean one for being supportive of that.

So... enjoy your unicorn ride.

Perhaps I said things in the heat of the moment (reading comprehension) but that is weak in comparison to the many comments made towards OP in general. Whether it be her logic, her exercise habits, her eating habits, whatever, that have all been gathered from a single post. I'm hardly mean for being supportive of OP, I suffer from anxiety and one of my triggers is my weight and how my body looks. It's almost crippling to face it every day, and I feel sad that there are people out there who feel like me, or are becoming that person. Showing empathy to someone because they feel ****ty about their body, even though they work out, is not being a bad person. Kicking someone when they're down is a bad person. Comparing your life situations to theirs, having not known them at all, is being a bad person. Sure, some people actually have genetic issues, but to tell someone that they feel less than you is terrible. There is always something that is going on in someones life, and saying that their feelings/thoughts aren't validated because you have it worse, is bad.

Monstergirl may be the most sensible person on MFP. OP posted on the motivation & support board because she wanted to vent her frustration and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. She did not post on a Genetic Disorders message board because she is not trying to say she has a diagnosable genetic-related medical condition. Forums cannot work as they are intended if the people who need/want to use them must be in fear of getting flamed by overly-sensitive internet trolls.

And it is wrong for people to try to support her by encouraging her to find things she LIKES about her body and to stop focusing on the things she does not like, because it is pointless and it is not something she can change??

No, absolutely not! The biggest part of it all is to learn to love yourself, but I do encourage you to skim through the board and look harder at some of the comments that have been made. I would not have appreciated it myself.. but I've already made that clear haha. It's THOSE comments that I'm targeting, not those who have expressed real encouragement and a helping hand.

The comments YOU deem rude.

Work harder - May or may not apply in this case

She states she is not overweight, so one would assume she has been working. She needs to work on accepting those things she can't change. She certainly needs to work on her body image.

Excuse - May or may not apply in this case

I saw one person saying that she did indeed use poor genetics as an excuse, she helpfully offered her experience and perspective. Other people also said they thought it was an excuse but said it in a different way, this doesn't mean that their opinion is not valid, and this doesn't mean they were trying to be rude, mean or judgmental. They all have their own personal experiences to draw on as well, even if they didn't elaborate on them.

I'm really not trying to be rude here. This is an emotional issue for many, but I believe the people who are more logical and factual can help those who are very emotional about it.

Cue the "I put something out there on the internet and got all kinds of responses that I didn't appreciate" music, and we'll see everyone over on the next "mean people" thread.

Yeah, you're right. I mean, how hard is it to be a decent human being and not just treat everyone as if they have nerves of steel? I mean, everyone can take everything with a grain of salt, everyone appreciates being judged and belittled for asking questions, seeking help, or finding people with the same problems as them. Not everyone expects an onslaught of people to show up with their pitchforks and end with "Deal with it, it's the internet, I have permission to be a complete turd because I can't physically see the emotion on your face and couldn't handle it in real life myself."

k.

Um... first you say that we don't have reading comprehension.
But WE are the rude ones.

This OP that you are so defending is complaining about her "crap genetics" when in reality, she doesn't have "crap genetics", just a bad body image.

And frankly, *I* (among others) am offended that she would consider not being able to spot reduce as having "crap genetics" when so many of us have ACTUAL "crap genetics".

And I think that YOU are the mean one for being supportive of that.

So... enjoy your unicorn ride.

Perhaps I said things in the heat of the moment (reading comprehension) but that is weak in comparison to the many comments made towards OP in general. Whether it be her logic, her exercise habits, her eating habits, whatever, that have all been gathered from a single post. I'm hardly mean for being supportive of OP, I suffer from anxiety and one of my triggers is my weight and how my body looks. It's almost crippling to face it every day, and I feel sad that there are people out there who feel like me, or are becoming that person. Showing empathy to someone because they feel ****ty about their body, even though they work out, is not being a bad person. Kicking someone when they're down is a bad person. Comparing your life situations to theirs, having not known them at all, is being a bad person. Sure, some people actually have genetic issues, but to tell someone that they feel less than you is terrible. There is always something that is going on in someones life, and saying that their feelings/thoughts aren't validated because you have it worse, is bad.

Monstergirl may be the most sensible person on MFP. OP posted on the motivation & support board because she wanted to vent her frustration and see if anyone else was feeling the same way. She did not post on a Genetic Disorders message board because she is not trying to say she has a diagnosable genetic-related medical condition. Forums cannot work as they are intended if the people who need/want to use them must be in fear of getting flamed by overly-sensitive internet trolls.

And it is wrong for people to try to support her by encouraging her to find things she LIKES about her body and to stop focusing on the things she does not like, because it is pointless and it is not something she can change??

No, absolutely not! The biggest part of it all is to learn to love yourself, but I do encourage you to skim through the board and look harder at some of the comments that have been made. I would not have appreciated it myself.. but I've already made that clear haha. It's THOSE comments that I'm targeting, not those who have expressed real encouragement and a helping hand.

The comments YOU deem rude.

Work harder - May or may not apply in this case

She states she is not overweight, so one would assume she has been working. She needs to work on accepting those things she can't change. She certainly needs to work on her body image.

Excuse - May or may not apply in this case

I saw one person saying that she did indeed use poor genetics as an excuse, she helpfully offered her experience and perspective. Other people also said they thought it was an excuse but said it in a different way, this doesn't mean that their opinion is not valid, and this doesn't mean they were trying to be rude, mean or judgmental. They all have their own personal experiences to draw on as well, even if they didn't elaborate on them.

I'm really not trying to be rude here. This is an emotional issue for many, but I believe the people who are more logical and factual can help those who are very emotional about it.

Of course it's rude and insensitive. "Work harder" Okay, what makes you assume I'm not? Now comes another post having to defend herself, saying she does work harder, but why can't she complain? It's not "Just keep going, you'll see a difference eventually." It's "You got that way due to your own actions, if you're not seeing anything it's because you're not working hard enough. Clearly you're not doing something right."

In a time of need, I would not want to hear that. People can be a drill Sargent all they want about the matter, but the fact remains that everyone comes from different walks of life. If you want to be supportive and encouraging, then do so. However, you must learn to differentiate and express yourself in certain ways as to not offend someone. There are those who wear their hearts on their shoulder, those who are just starting, those who are naive and emotional, and so on and so forth. I don't care if this is the internet, what you are responding to is a motivation and support board. So if you are here to motivate and support, you must realize that the person who you are speaking to is not you, therefore treating them as such could be seen as hurtful.

I will go through the thread and try and provide specific examples to illustrate my point, but at this time I feel as though I'm wasting my breath and am greatly outnumbered. I would also like to point out that I'm not a bad person as someone has written to me previously, and I do not appreciate that statement made about me when all I've done this entire time is show support.

Not everyone is going to deliver the message in the words each person needs or wants. They are going to project their thoughts and opinions. Not everyone is going to like everything that is said to them.

Genetics do play a part in how we all look, gain or lose weight, and the shape of our bodies. But ultimately, shouldn't it be about learning to love our bodies for what they are? Judging yourself based solely on perceived imperfections is leading you to dislike yourself for the wrong reasons, and making you unhappy. When the work is done, and what can be achieved has been achieved, shouldn't we be able to relax and love what we see in the mirror? OP needs to realize that.

that's pretty much what most of us have been trying to say throughout the thread... things like how your body stores fat, how wide your shoulders are, etc, is not "crap genetics" - it's genetics but there's nothing crap about it! everyone has things they don't like about their bodies, that's normal, but in most cases these issues are blown out of proportion to the point that someone sees their totally normal body as being abnormal and them having "crap genetics" when that's not the case at all

on this thread at least two people with a similar body type to me (wide shoulders, big rib cage) posted saying they have bad genetics and gave this as examples............ it's not bad genetics, because what's so bad about big ribs and big shoulders? I have these things and I see them as something good, because larger bones= larger muscles = stronger. It's so sad that fit, healthy people see their natural, healthy body type as "bad genetics" Also I find it depressing when people with the same body type as me say that it's "bad genetics" or act like there's something bad or wrong about my body type... I know they're not saying it about me, they're saying it about themselves but I have the same things they have that they think are bad in themselves......... that's not a nice message to be receiving. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only woman with this body type who actually likes it. If that's true then I find it really sad.

that's pretty much what most of us have been trying to say throughout the thread... things like how your body stores fat, how wide your shoulders are, etc, is not "crap genetics" - it's genetics but there's nothing crap about it! everyone has things they don't like about their bodies, that's normal, but in most cases these issues are blown out of proportion to the point that someone sees their totally normal body as being abnormal and them having "crap genetics" when that's not the case at all

on this thread at least two people with a similar body type to me (wide shoulders, big rib cage) posted saying they have bad genetics and gave this as examples............ it's not bad genetics, because what's so bad about big ribs and big shoulders? I have these things and I see them as something good, because larger bones= larger muscles = stronger. It's so sad that fit, healthy people see their natural, healthy body type as "bad genetics" Also I find it depressing when people with the same body type as me say that it's "bad genetics" or act like there's something bad or wrong about my body type... I know they're not saying it about me, they're saying it about themselves but I have the same things they have that they think are bad in themselves......... that's not a nice message to be receiving. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only woman with this body type who actually likes it. If that's true then I find it really sad.

I'm in agreement with you. Learning to love what makes you different from everyone else is so important. We've all tried to say it here, with arguments going both ways. I don't know if OP is even still here or responding anymore, but I hope she's gotten something out of this, in a positive way.

And Cameron Diaz has broad shoulders and a large ribcage and is considered quite beautiful. there are examples all around us of how every body type can be found beautiful in so many ways.

Um, everyone's all "be happy with who you are" and stuff...

I have a HUGE butt. When I gain or lose weight, that's where it goes/comes from. Fine. Whatever. The biggest problem is that it doesn't take much to make it get bigger, but I have to kill myself to make it smaller.

Then there's my little sister. Great body. Only works out for muscle definition sometimes. Eats whatever she wants. NEVER GAINS A SINGLE POUND.

AND her hair is really shiny.

I got the short stick for sure.

Genetics do play a part in how we all look, gain or lose weight, and the shape of our bodies. But ultimately, shouldn't it be about learning to love our bodies for what they are? Judging yourself based solely on perceived imperfections is leading you to dislike yourself for the wrong reasons, and making you unhappy. When the work is done, and what can be achieved has been achieved, shouldn't we be able to relax and love what we see in the mirror? OP needs to realize that.

that's pretty much what most of us have been trying to say throughout the thread... things like how your body stores fat, how wide your shoulders are, etc, is not "crap genetics" - it's genetics but there's nothing crap about it! everyone has things they don't like about their bodies, that's normal, but in most cases these issues are blown out of proportion to the point that someone sees their totally normal body as being abnormal and them having "crap genetics" when that's not the case at all

on this thread at least two people with a similar body type to me (wide shoulders, big rib cage) posted saying they have bad genetics and gave this as examples............ it's not bad genetics, because what's so bad about big ribs and big shoulders? I have these things and I see them as something good, because larger bones= larger muscles = stronger. It's so sad that fit, healthy people see their natural, healthy body type as "bad genetics" Also I find it depressing when people with the same body type as me say that it's "bad genetics" or act like there's something bad or wrong about my body type... I know they're not saying it about me, they're saying it about themselves but I have the same things they have that they think are bad in themselves......... that's not a nice message to be receiving. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only woman with this body type who actually likes it. If that's true then I find it really sad.

I'm in agreement with you. Learning to love what makes you different from everyone else is so important. We've all tried to say it here, with arguments going both ways. I don't know if OP is even still here or responding anymore, but I hope she's gotten something out of this, in a positive way.

And Cameron Diaz has broad shoulders and a large ribcage and is considered quite beautiful. there are examples all around us of how every body type can be found beautiful in so many ways.