Really unsupportive family

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Replies

  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Do you have access to a printer? Maybe at school or a library will have one.
    I would print out several charts, like body mass index, tdee and so on. Then I would show her the charts and show her that your indeed a healthy weight and simply trying to maintain it. The reason I say print these documents out, is that sometimes its easier for a person to absorb the information if they see it on paper, rather then a screen. Then I would show her your good diary, and maybe even this thread so she can see your truly not doing anything wrong and that you have good intentions.

    ^^ This is good advice too! Also, if you have a family doctor, you could offer to have your mother take you in for a check-up. If she doesn't believe the research, maybe she will believe a doctor.
  • jlolson6740TK2
    jlolson6740TK2 Posts: 28 Member
    It is really hard to stay motivated when the people around you aren't! Add my here and if you need daily motivation and support I have a private group on Facebook where I check in daily. I post fun tips during the day, ways to change up your routine, and provide overall support and motivation- if you are interested let me know - I would love to have you!!
  • QueenOSpades
    QueenOSpades Posts: 171 Member
    You could always print out the past weeks of your food diary on here. And then compare to your undereating period.
    You need to maybe write her a letter and leave it with the print out.

    Though I agree with your father on simply learning the proportions. Or else, you'll just make yourself stressed when a food scale isn't available to you.

    It's aweosme that you got to eating healthy! But don't make it into an obsession or compulsion. It won't matter how good you look, if your stressed or anxious abotu it all the time.

    Good Luck :)
  • Wingg_
    Wingg_ Posts: 395 Member
    Your parents sound like mine. They've been unhappy about my weight since I was 10. They (to my knowledge) never said anything about my husband's weight to him, until he got his BMI to 21, and they thought he was underweight. I knew that he was trying to get to a certain percentage of body fat and trying to build some muscle, so I wasn't worried about him. I knew his goals, and knew what he was doing to get there, and it wasn't unreasonable.

    Doesn't matter which side of the coin you're on, there are always going to be people who don't agree with what you're doing or how you're doing it. And it's worse when it's your family because you can't seem to get away from them about it or shut them up. They feel they're entitled to render an opinion regardless of whether or not it's intelligent at all.

    I don't weigh my food or measure it either. I try to make a reasonable measurement. You could open your MFP diary to them so they can see what all you're eating - that might ease them up a little. Share with them your goals.

    The only way to get my parents off my back was to actually someone incorporate them into the realm a little. I'd "check in" once a week, and when they'd start getting on me about something, I'd laugh and say I didn't realize they'd recently earned their nutritionist certification or an MD in weight loss for obese patients.

    I will try that out and see if it works! Thanks for sharing with me your experience! I really do appreciate it!
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    What kind of documentation?... I know she is concerned and being Asian 19 years old is still not considered as an adult yet... So yeah... I'm not sure what kind of documentation to show her... I've read and research on calorie counting and stuffs but when it comes to explaining it to her I have no idea where to start explaining...

    what's the "adult" age?

    Probably when I enter university?

    Parents that don't let go by 19 will never let go.
  • Wingg_
    Wingg_ Posts: 395 Member
    Try printing off your food diary for them and show them how you are eating for nutrition. Are your parents overweight?

    I can understand why they feel that way because to someone who has never kept a food diary, it might seem OCD, or at least a bit strange, to see someone weighing their food. Try to understand their point of view first, understand why they feel like this. Then you might have an easier time explaining your own point of view, and how it's important to you to maintain your weight. Tell them how long you've been maintaining.

    Good luck! It's tough being 19, for sure.

    Nope they're not. No one in my family is overweight. I was on the verge of becoming overweight or should I say I was a little overweight. Yeah, I guess she's worried because Steve never seen anyone weighing their food. I didn't even notice there are people who weigh their food until I came across myfitnesspal. I will try to prove to them that I'm eating really healthily and hopefully my mum will stop being so judgemental on this issue.
  • Wingg_
    Wingg_ Posts: 395 Member
    It is really hard to stay motivated when the people around you aren't! Add my here and if you need daily motivation and support I have a private group on Facebook where I check in daily. I post fun tips during the day, ways to change up your routine, and provide overall support and motivation- if you are interested let me know - I would love to have you!!

    Thanks for the offer! But I'm not really into Facebook and I'm feeling a lot better now that you guys have encouraged me so much! Thank you so much for the support!
  • Wingg_
    Wingg_ Posts: 395 Member
    You could always print out the past weeks of your food diary on here. And then compare to your undereating period.
    You need to maybe write her a letter and leave it with the print out.

    Though I agree with your father on simply learning the proportions. Or else, you'll just make yourself stressed when a food scale isn't available to you.

    It's aweosme that you got to eating healthy! But don't make it into an obsession or compulsion. It won't matter how good you look, if your stressed or anxious abotu it all the time.

    Good Luck :)

    I,too, agree with my dad. So I'm now learning the proportions~ it feels really great to eat healthily! Thanks for the encouragement'
  • Wingg_
    Wingg_ Posts: 395 Member
    What kind of documentation?... I know she is concerned and being Asian 19 years old is still not considered as an adult yet... So yeah... I'm not sure what kind of documentation to show her... I've read and research on calorie counting and stuffs but when it comes to explaining it to her I have no idea where to start explaining...

    what's the "adult" age?

    Probably when I enter university?

    Parents that don't let go by 19 will never let go.

    I know right, my dad is really protective of me... He wouldn't even let me go for my school's camp...
  • rose228822
    rose228822 Posts: 186 Member
    Good afternoon,
    I am sorry to hear that you are having trouble communicating with your parents...my middle daughter is your age and she has been working out and trying to eat healthier because she sees that I am finally doing something about my own weight...
    I know it may sound funny but can you write a letter to them explaining that you want to explain in person but you feel they are not letting you speak.
    When you talk to them are you already on the defensive, ask them specifically what they have an issue with but nicely.
    They may be worried or not sure what you are doing? Tell them you would like their support. Are they heavy or overweight? Maybe they feel defensive because they are not doing anything about their own issue.
    They are your parents so show respect but at the same time they should show you the same....my daughter and I work out together sometimes or if we have lunch or dinner together we try to eat healthy or we will discuss ideas...
    Show your parents your MPF site and maybe you can show them an example of your diary to let them know what it's all about.
    I hope things turn out okay...this is a great site to get motivation and support from others and hopefully without criticism.
    take care of yourself - rose
  • kittykat1994
    kittykat1994 Posts: 149 Member
    I'm 20 and I had the same problem. I don't like with my parents any more. When I was questioned on it, I simply told my parents that I was an adult and whether I am weighing my food or not, it's none of their concern. I'm not underweight, so they accepted it but I had to be firm.

    I wouldn't show my parents charts etc. That's just me. I find that my weight loss is personal and I only discuss it with the people on here and my partner. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't if you feel that it's right for you.
  • Wingg_
    Wingg_ Posts: 395 Member
    Good afternoon,
    I am sorry to hear that you are having trouble communicating with your parents...my middle daughter is your age and she has been working out and trying to eat healthier because she sees that I am finally doing something about my own weight...
    I know it may sound funny but can you write a letter to them explaining that you want to explain in person but you feel they are not letting you speak.
    When you talk to them are you already on the defensive, ask them specifically what they have an issue with but nicely.
    They may be worried or not sure what you are doing? Tell them you would like their support. Are they heavy or overweight? Maybe they feel defensive because they are not doing anything about their own issue.
    They are your parents so show respect but at the same time they should show you the same....my daughter and I work out together sometimes or if we have lunch or dinner together we try to eat healthy or we will discuss ideas...
    Show your parents your MPF site and maybe you can show them an example of your diary to let them know what it's all about.
    I hope things turn out okay...this is a great site to get motivation and support from others and hopefully without criticism.
    take care of yourself - rose

    That's really a great idea! If I text her, she wouldn't have the chance to say 'whatever' or make me feel discouraged to continue my conversation. I will definitely try that out! That way I will have more courage to say whatever I've always been wanting to say. Thanks for providing with such a brilliant idea!
  • Wingg_
    Wingg_ Posts: 395 Member
    I'm 20 and I had the same problem. I don't like with my parents any more. When I was questioned on it, I simply told my parents that I was an adult and whether I am weighing my food or not, it's none of their concern. I'm not underweight, so they accepted it but I had to be firm.

    I wouldn't show my parents charts etc. That's just me. I find that my weight loss is personal and I only discuss it with the people on here and my partner. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't if you feel that it's right for you.

    I'm still living with my parents and I really hope they can understand and support me. That's what family is for right? That's why I'm trying to prove my point. However, if they insist that this is unhealthy I can't help it but to just ignore them. Thanks for sharing with me your experience!
  • kittykat1994
    kittykat1994 Posts: 149 Member
    I'm 20 and I had the same problem. I don't like with my parents any more. When I was questioned on it, I simply told my parents that I was an adult and whether I am weighing my food or not, it's none of their concern. I'm not underweight, so they accepted it but I had to be firm.

    I wouldn't show my parents charts etc. That's just me. I find that my weight loss is personal and I only discuss it with the people on here and my partner. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't if you feel that it's right for you.

    I'm still living with my parents and I really hope they can understand and support me. That's what family is for right? That's why I'm trying to prove my point. However, if they insist that this is unhealthy I can't help it but to just ignore them. Thanks for sharing with me your experience!

    Family is supposed to support you. Especially when you are making healthy choices. It could be something they need to get used to you doing and once they see that you are being healthy and not losing too much weight, then maybe they'll understand. There could even be a degree of jealousy if your parents are overweight?

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