Backhanded compliment ....

245

Replies

  • Kst76
    Kst76 Posts: 935 Member
    I was told last week, "if you lose any more, you'll look gross" :(

    lol,
    thats "funny". Typically from girls who are jealous.
  • HereWeGoAgain7
    HereWeGoAgain7 Posts: 163 Member
    Until I lost weight, I didn't realize how much I used to get complimented on my accessories. Nice bag! I love your scarf! Now I get compliments on my actual appearance. It's like people wanted to say something nice, so chose something totally unattached to my actual person. It's kind of a bummer in retrospect.

    The compliments I get are STILL usually about my accessories...even AFTER losing over 50 lbs. They actually make me happy! I take pride in putting my outfits and accessories together and I have a lot of fun with it, so I'm genuinely flattered by such compliments.

    Or at least I was flattered by those compliments, until I read this post a minute ago. :sad:

    I actually know quite a few people who will NOT compliment someone on their weight loss just incase the weight loss is unintentional or medically related. These people compliment people on their outfits or accessories as a way of saying that they noticed you and think you look good.

    My favorite to date was my hubby saying his chubby chasing days were over, because his getting fit wife still has boobs.

    ETA: Take that back...my favorite was my doctor last year "You're blood work results are amazing...especially considering how fat you are" :huh:
  • _MG_
    _MG_ Posts: 453 Member

    ETA: Take that back...my favorite was my doctor last year "You're blood work results are amazing...especially considering how fat you are" :huh:

    I could accept that one. I don't want my Doc to sugar coat it.

    The others? Not so much.
  • "You make a beautiful pregnant woman..."

    I am not pregnant... O_o
  • ZombieEarhart
    ZombieEarhart Posts: 320 Member
    Until I lost weight, I didn't realize how much I used to get complimented on my accessories. Nice bag! I love your scarf! Now I get compliments on my actual appearance. It's like people wanted to say something nice, so chose something totally unattached to my actual person. It's kind of a bummer in retrospect.

    The compliments I get are STILL usually about my accessories...even AFTER losing over 50 lbs. They actually make me happy! I take pride in putting my outfits and accessories together and I have a lot of fun with it, so I'm genuinely flattered by such compliments.

    Or at least I was flattered by those compliments, until I read this post a minute ago. :sad:

    No, you should be flattered! My accessories were/are great, but in retrospect that was really the only thing anyone ever pointed out- ever!
  • auburngirl06
    auburngirl06 Posts: 153 Member
    :You look great for having 3 kids" WTF! Why can't I just look great? Why must you say the having kids part? That pisses me off so much.
  • Fit_Fox88
    Fit_Fox88 Posts: 410 Member
    last week when posting a pic on fb of a before/current, a coworker said to me 'wow you former cow'

    Seriously??? Some people are just plain rude! Jeez.... :noway:
  • ashandstuff
    ashandstuff Posts: 442 Member
    It's sucks hearing things from people who have seen the transition from larger to smaller....you realize how rude the people you see each day are. Example...these are things said by the same person:

    When I was heavy:
    "You carry your weight so well, girls would kill to have that beautiful hourglass figure"

    Now:
    "Look how beautiful you are now that you've lost weight!"

    Both are relatively nice things to say, but after reflecting and thinking about it...it just makes me feel sad and that their "compliment" was really just said out of pity. Like I was this ugly/gross person before I lost weight, and now I only matter to them since I am thinner. Either way, that kind of talk puts me in a place where I feel like I have to consistently get better or be "more beautiful."

    I've come to the conclusion that people commenting on weight (when not asked a direct question about the topic) are always out of line.
  • jdhoward_101
    jdhoward_101 Posts: 234 Member
    My mum thinks i'm too skinny....i'm definitely not, but i have lost a lot of weight and she just isn't used to me this size. Although i have put on about a stone recently, (fell off the wagon), but she came out with;

    "Oh, you look like you've put on weight!"

    She meant it as a compliment, but considering that stone i've put on....not cool. Not so much of a backhanded compliment as much of a backhanded insult bless her :p
  • shelly_p99
    shelly_p99 Posts: 4 Member
    I get the "you look good for your age" compliment CONSTANTLY. Then when I say I have an 18 and 19 year old...the look they give as they try to do the math based on how old they THINK I am. I had one person say darn...did you start when you were 12? Uhhhhhh nooooo...I am 41 years old (but I acually adopted soooooo...what an idiot!). Ohhhhhh...wowwwwwwwwww you look good for your age...you look so younggggg. OMG I never would've guessed...blah blah blah blah. I guess at 40 I was supposed to turn into a sac of coal! LOL.
  • cchew686
    cchew686 Posts: 108
    I've really found so many people on here don't know so much about a lot of things. They think they do because they might have seen someone else on here say it. That in no way makes it knowledgeable or accurate. A lot of people are all the time completing their friends when they get close to their calorie goal---even if they don't eat healthy food. They say things like, "Good Job," "Good day, " "You did real well." It's just things people say over and over and over. It doesn't matter if the person is eating days full of all unhealthy foods, but stay close to their calorie goal. Compliments like that aren't helpful at all. They just encourage the bad eating person to continue on doing so. Maybe even the people that continually make these screwed up comments don't even know enough to appreciate a person eating a healthy food plan.

    Then leave. What a useless, unhelpgul, and irrelevant comment. Well done. Oh, sorry. That wasn't a helpful complement.
  • amandaygriffin
    amandaygriffin Posts: 15 Member
    "You have such a pretty face" - a bunch of different people
    "You are just a natural big-boned woman and that looks good on you" - family members trying to make me feel better about being overweight because everyone else in the family is overweight.

    My whole childhood, I was told we were big-boned and it was okay to eat a plate full of junk food. In reality, there are no "big-boned" skeletons and junk food makes me fat!
  • HereWeGoAgain7
    HereWeGoAgain7 Posts: 163 Member

    ETA: Take that back...my favorite was my doctor last year "You're blood work results are amazing...especially considering how fat you are" :huh:

    I could accept that one. I don't want my Doc to sugar coat it.

    The others? Not so much.

    :laugh: Normally yes, but I had 24% BF at the time. :grumble: Then she changed my meds and my BF% went through the roof...
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,655 Member
    i got one once that was super. my weight has fluctuated over the years and i had someone whose know me for a while go "you were super hot when you were thin, are you hoping to get back to that with the diet and exercise youre doing now?"
    that was so super.

    I would punch that guy/girl. So hard.
    Super hard.
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,655 Member
    Mine: "You look like a high school kid!"
    I don't think there's any malice in that, but I don't know what to make of it, given that my only kid graduated from high school five years ago.
  • sugarstrawberries
    sugarstrawberries Posts: 140 Member
    Until I lost weight, I didn't realize how much I used to get complimented on my accessories. Nice bag! I love your scarf! Now I get compliments on my actual appearance. It's like people wanted to say something nice, so chose something totally unattached to my actual person. It's kind of a bummer in retrospect.

    The compliments I get are STILL usually about my accessories...even AFTER losing over 50 lbs. They actually make me happy! I take pride in putting my outfits and accessories together and I have a lot of fun with it, so I'm genuinely flattered by such compliments.

    Or at least I was flattered by those compliments, until I read this post a minute ago. :sad:

    I comment on peoples' dress and accessories and hair and makeup because I know it probably makes them feel good. Do people regularly comment on others' physical appearance more than the stuff that changes every day?
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I hate it when people look at me and say, "You're so lucky. You must have good genes." It's a compliment, in that it acknowledges my fitness, but it's also kind of disrespectful. It totally dismisses my efforts, as if I did nothing to achieve it - it was just gifted to me. It also allows them to deny responsibility for their own fitness. It's not luck that I'm in good shape. It's work, perseverance and discipline, thank you very much. :grumble:
  • Timelordlady85
    Timelordlady85 Posts: 797 Member
    :You look great for having 3 kids" WTF! Why can't I just look great? Why must you say the having kids part? That pisses me off so much.

    I have gotten this comment before numerous times. Like you said why can't I just look good without pointing out I had 3 kids? Some people don't have a voice in their head that tells them when to shut up before saying something rude or insensitive.
  • hmaddpear
    hmaddpear Posts: 610 Member
    I comment on peoples' dress and accessories and hair and makeup because I know it probably makes them feel good. Do people regularly comment on others' physical appearance more than the stuff that changes every day?

    I do all the time. Friends, at least. Complete strangers more like sometimes - if they're wearing something fabulous. I've yet to have some random stranger not break into a grin when I compliment their knitted scarf (especially if they made it themselves), or amazing jacket.
  • mfp2014mfp
    mfp2014mfp Posts: 689 Member
    What backhanded compliment do you get all the time? Its like they mean well, but then it comes out wrong.. My favorite " wow, you're pretty for a big girl" .... really .. I can't be pretty for a girl...

    Yeah, I've gotten that, alot :explode: