Goal reached. Family horrified.

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Replies

  • Spiderkeys
    Spiderkeys Posts: 338 Member
    Me after losing over 120 Pounds, I went from serverly obese to obese to overweight now wham in the middle of the ideal weight range, I also now weight the same I was when I was 17.

    My family is horrified, it gets annoying people telling to gain weight, even sneakly spicing up my dinners with extra calories, and encouraging me eat bread with all my meals.

    I don't care, they gonna have to get used to the 'new' me, I got in this shape to stay, not for a temporary experiment, I never felt so alive and fit, reverse dieting would just be unthinkable.

    Anyway congratulations, I hope your familiy soon see you as the real you, and not in the past.
  • truebliss185
    truebliss185 Posts: 2 Member
    I think you look great. Family can be our worst critics. Be proud of what you accomplished and shine on.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    you look HEALTHY, FIT, AND STRONG!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!
  • Your family means well. Don't be too hard on them. Just smile, and keep working toward your goals. What's most important is that you feel great about yourself. You only have one life to live, so live it for you - not them. Still love them though; after all they are family.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I agree with the 6 pages of everyone else. You look great. You still have a healthy level of body fat storage. Your face does NOT look overly thin at all.

    Congratulations.

    My dad also likes to tell me I'm too thin. He usually shuts up when I tell him the actual number on the scale.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
    That being said, I am currently maintaining at my TDEE - since I am not trying to lose weight, I am no longer eating at a 20% reduction. And furthermore, not a single person in my family knows my daily calorie intake, or has an idea of what I eat. They live in Alabama and I live in Denmark and they have not seen nor been able to assess my eating habits since I was last there 18 months ago - at which point they would have seen me eating barbeque and chocolate pie anyway - which is certainly something to worry about! LOL

    Look, I've read your stuff. You have some pretty extreme views on diet, ranging from eating 1104 calories a day to thinking animal products cause 97% of heart attacks. I find it hard to believe that you've never had these discussions with your family of Olympic athletes and medical professionals.

    But okay. Maybe they really are just jerks, in which case, why do you even bother sending them pictures of yourself for them to critique?
  • DaivaSimone
    DaivaSimone Posts: 657 Member
    That being said, when I was this weight the last time, back in the 1990's, I was doing 4 hours of ballet a week plus cheerleading and marching band, was in great shape, and at that time these same people said, "you need to quit ballet - you are too fat. They don't take short fat girls in ballets. You need to join the football team or find a Sumo Wrestling club." AT THE SAME WEIGHT I AM NOW, where they are saying "your face - EW!"

    Ok, so, when you were seventeen years old, at one of the most vulnerable stage of your life, your family said that their active teenage girl weighing about 115 pounds was fat and needed to wrestle in a sumo club.

    Is that right?

    Please, stop talking to your family.
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 467 Member
    First off I can't beleive your family is so unsupportive. I have seen too thin, and you are not that at all. You have had great sucess and look amazing. Be proud of your successes. Haters gonna hate;)
  • VoodooAborisha
    VoodooAborisha Posts: 147 Member
    Dissenting voice: I'm curious as to the other side of the story. Your family is obviously not a bunch of yahoos, and your opinion on the board on a few things has raised a few read flags. Is their concern truly about how you look or about your eating habits?

    No, they just have the photos which you have seen. I live in Denmark and they live in Alabama. They haven't seen my eating habits since Christmas 2012. They have no idea my calorie intake or daily meals or anything.

    That being said, I follow the calorie calculations based mainly on this website: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/ however I have doubled checked these values with several of my fitness books written by nurses and doctors, as well as consultations with personal trainers and doctors. My calorie intake has been carefully regulated along the way - i.e. each time I dropped 5 or 10 lbs, I recalculated to make sure I was always eating enough, and not too much.

    My calorie intake now that I am maintaining and am at a higher fitness level is substantially higher than it was when I was losing at a 20% reduction. I have done it all "by the book." No fad diets, no starvation. Nice and slow, over 9 months.

    Your family also is aware of your history of extreme depression and anxiety for over 10 years, I assume. This might color their perception. You look great and you did it the right way. If the loss was perceived as rapid, if you talked about it, if there are other actual or historical concerns or even the distance from them can all factor in.

    Or, we can take it at face value and your family members are uncaring idiots.

    Note - I'm not criticizing your method or results but why do you think your so highly educated family is wackadoodle?


    Btw - scooby is just one of many calculators, no better or worse than many.

    Unfortunately, my family says mean things to each other all the time, about any and all topics. This just hurt because I had worked so hard to lose the weight, and I got these big honking arm muscles and sweet abs now and I am so proud of them. Also I think it I was hurt because the last time I was at this weight, they told me how fat I was and that I needed to drop out of my ballet classes because I was an embarrassment. My dad stopped coming to my ballet recitals because he said I was an embarrassment, because at 5 foot 1 inch and 117 lbs, he said was so fat that he thought I should "join the sumo wrestling team instead." I didn't stop doing ballet, because I knew that I was actually in shape, and that he was being a butt, however it still hurt.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
    You know what, even healthcare professionals are still taught contradicting stuff, so I wouldn't worry too much about their comments. If you feel your numbers are healthy and people here agree with you, that should be enough. Photos don't show the gradual change to them the way your mirror has been with you from the beginning, and you have been along for the whole ride; only you know what your strong body feels like from the inside.
  • looseseal
    looseseal Posts: 216 Member
    Please don't take offense at this but . . . . . your family is insane and they need to go see an eye doctor or something.

    As I was reading your OP I was truly expecting your face to be 'gaunt' from too much weight loss (based on your family's reaction/comments), you know ... like really low body fat and your face is kind of 'boney' and 'pointy'.

    You look absolutely terrific, not too thin AT ALL. Although your weight is the same as when you were younger (in the first pic of just your face), your face is less 'full'; you look fine. Your body looks wonderful .... you lost the belly and blub and are quite nicely toned.

    Again, and I mean no offense, your family is bonkers.

    :happy:
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
    [Dad]... said to me, "We have all been talking about your weight. You look awful. You are too thin. Your sister in law Kim agrees, you look bad. We think you need to gain 15 lbs." And I said, "I have only lost 30 total - that would mean putting on half my weight back." And my sister, nurse with a Ph. D in nursing and long time Professor of nursing and medicine at various universities chimed in and said, "yah, you look awful - especially YOUR FACE! EW!"
    It is understandable that they are wrong. It is so common to be overweight that it starts to look normal to people and a healthy weight looks underweight to them.

    What's harder to tolerate is their incredible rudeness. Truthfully, I think I would have unplugged my computer while they were talking.
  • Kara52217
    Kara52217 Posts: 353 Member
    you look awesome!! Maybe your family is used to have a "fat" girl in the family and they just have to get used to it..
    I wouldn't lose anymore weight for sure you lose much more and you will start to be too thin.

    What does your doctor say?? That is who I would be most concerned with not family who could potentially be jealous for one reason or another.

    Congrats!!
  • Gilbrod
    Gilbrod Posts: 1,216 Member
    I remember people asking me if I was dying of cancer or something. Everyone has an opinion. The only opinion that mattered was my wifes'. No one else mattered. Keep doing your thing!
  • LuvDarkChocolate
    LuvDarkChocolate Posts: 145 Member
    Ok I admit it....I'm jealous:bigsmile:
  • StacyRenee77
    StacyRenee77 Posts: 2,732 Member
    Wonderful!!
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Dissenting voice: I'm curious as to the other side of the story. Your family is obviously not a bunch of yahoos, and your opinion on the board on a few things has raised a few read flags. Is their concern truly about how you look or about your eating habits?

    No, they just have the photos which you have seen. I live in Denmark and they live in Alabama. They haven't seen my eating habits since Christmas 2012. They have no idea my calorie intake or daily meals or anything.

    That being said, I follow the calorie calculations based mainly on this website: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/ however I have doubled checked these values with several of my fitness books written by nurses and doctors, as well as consultations with personal trainers and doctors. My calorie intake has been carefully regulated along the way - i.e. each time I dropped 5 or 10 lbs, I recalculated to make sure I was always eating enough, and not too much.

    My calorie intake now that I am maintaining and am at a higher fitness level is substantially higher than it was when I was losing at a 20% reduction. I have done it all "by the book." No fad diets, no starvation. Nice and slow, over 9 months.

    Your family also is aware of your history of extreme depression and anxiety for over 10 years, I assume. This might color their perception. You look great and you did it the right way. If the loss was perceived as rapid, if you talked about it, if there are other actual or historical concerns or even the distance from them can all factor in.

    Or, we can take it at face value and your family members are uncaring idiots.

    Note - I'm not criticizing your method or results but why do you think your so highly educated family is wackadoodle?


    Btw - scooby is just one of many calculators, no better or worse than many.

    Unfortunately, my family says mean things to each other all the time, about any and all topics. This just hurt because I had worked so hard to lose the weight, and I got these big honking arm muscles and sweet abs now and I am so proud of them. Also I think it I was hurt because the last time I was at this weight, they told me how fat I was and that I needed to drop out of my ballet classes because I was an embarrassment. My dad stopped coming to my ballet recitals because he said I was an embarrassment.

    Ok. Well, keep your emotional distance and don't let them damage you further than they have in the past.
  • pinkledoodledoo
    pinkledoodledoo Posts: 290 Member
    Your family needs group therapy. You look amazing and your face is beautiful just the way it is!
  • rainbowunicorns720
    rainbowunicorns720 Posts: 48 Member
    you look great. super jealous of your rockin bikini bod!!
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
    I had the same issue also with my family members. They knew my goal weight and never said anything, now that I am close to goal weight they are freaking out!! I call it jealousy!! ETA: Hubby has no issues with my weight goal and has back me up 100%, including my boys.

    OP, ignore them and keep doing what you are doing!! :flowerforyou:
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