He snooped, I need your opinions.

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Replies

  • kimnsc
    kimnsc Posts: 560 Member
    I'm just trying to figure out why the relationship even lasted long enough for him to snoop....The first three YEARS was rocky....were you both slow learners?

    It wasn't right for him to snoop but does it really surprise you, really?
  • TheRealJigsaw
    TheRealJigsaw Posts: 295 Member
    I thought the first 3 years are supposed to be the best years? Just break up. You were both wrong.
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,266 Member
    are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying. :explode: :laugh:
  • moijo6
    moijo6 Posts: 121
    You don't trust each other and he obviously has reason if your hiding something from him like another relationship.. Your both in the wrong he should respect your privacy, if he feels he has to look through your messages then you should'nt be together anyway.

    Whats good for the goose is good for the gander, check out his messages or ask to see his mobile, see how he likes it and if he refuses he's most likely cheating . But at least he wil understand where your coming from when his privacy is threatened too.

    Id just walk away if i was you.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,954 Member
    are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying. :explode: :laugh:

    She isn't sleeping with her ex, just taking occasional recreational drugs with him.
  • WhatAnAss
    WhatAnAss Posts: 1,598 Member
    If you are already doomed to fail then stop wasting both of your time and end it already. What is the point of continuing? No trust, secrets, spying....it's time to move on. Man up and get it done.
  • Thank you everyone for your honest and funny responses.

    The "stuff" is not something I am proud of and the reason I kept it from him is because it's embarrassing that I enjoy this (not sexual) as I stated before.

    This is not something I do often, maybe twice a year, if that but still, not something I am proud of.

    I did tell him the truth as to what the stuff is. He seemed to be angrier at the fact that I kept it from him but of course if I told him about it prior, it would have caused conflict which is why I wanted to keep it private.

    I know we are doomed, we have been for a while.

    If I don't find out what this this cryptic 'stuff' is within the next hour, my head will literally explode.

    I know right? Im dying to know what the stuff is!!
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,954 Member
    Thank you everyone for your honest and funny responses.

    The "stuff" is not something I am proud of and the reason I kept it from him is because it's embarrassing that I enjoy this (not sexual) as I stated before.

    This is not something I do often, maybe twice a year, if that but still, not something I am proud of.

    I did tell him the truth as to what the stuff is. He seemed to be angrier at the fact that I kept it from him but of course if I told him about it prior, it would have caused conflict which is why I wanted to keep it private.

    I know we are doomed, we have been for a while.

    If I don't find out what this this cryptic 'stuff' is within the next hour, my head will literally explode.

    I know right? Im dying to know what the stuff is!!

    Recreational drugs.
  • Why are you in a relationship if there is no trust?

    My thoughts exactly, for get this and move on. I once snooped a GF, found she was getting together with her ex, and it was over in a month... but really the relation ship had ended many months before I just wouldn't admit it to myself.
  • Kate7294
    Kate7294 Posts: 783 Member
    Break it off, and stop hanging out with your ex. I'm still friend's with several of my ex-boyfriends but we don't hang out. If your ex is your best friend maybe you two need to get back together. No wonder your relationship has been rocky. No one wants the ex hanging around friend's or not.
    Been married twenty years by the way.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I'm not sure you can call it snooping since you left the email up for anyone to see. If you wanted your privacy, you should've covered your tracks better. Maybe he shouldn't have looked but since you two have been having a better time of it, he probably assume you had nothing to hide.

    You've already got a pretty non standard relationship so the usual advice is hard to give.

    Also, right fighting is stupid. If your "stuff" bothers him enough, he'll get out. If his "snooping" bothers you enough, you'll get out. Or you could just be honest with each other and try to have a more normal relationship.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    Does it really matter who is in the wrong? It seems to be that a bit of blame belongs to both of you and, if you care about each other, you'll work it out.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, the first 3 were very rocky but this last year, things were finally settling down.

    We don't trust one another.

    Just break up.
  • Michael thinks he knows what "stuff" is ....


    US1L2oO.gif
  • Movie script, anyone? Seems way too much drama and tension for "nothing sexual" but I guess that could happen. Sounds like couples therapy at least. Or, if you really don't want to be together why does it matter? If you don't trust each other snooping is part of the deal.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Sounds like you have a 'FWBs'.

    If you are looking for which one of you are to 'blame', know this I would not trust either of you.

    You say you have trust issues and I agree, but it also sounds like their is reasons for those issues.

    If you want to stay together, you need to start working through those issues.


    Just one ole man's opinion.........
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    Just stay together. Don't visit your mental issues on others.
  • are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying. :explode: :laugh:

    She isn't sleeping with her ex, just taking occasional recreational drugs with him.

    Thank you for clarifying that for me.

    To answer some of your questions... I don't know how or why we lasted this long. And yes, the first three years should've been the best years. I know we care about one another a great deal but I think part of the reason we stay together is because it's so much easier than dating. We met on a dating site and damn is it tough! Going back to that does not appeal to me and of course, staying in this relationship is unhealthy for both of us.
  • orangesmartie
    orangesmartie Posts: 1,870 Member
    are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying. :explode: :laugh:

    Wow, judging much?


  • get off drugs girl.

    Is it so bad to do something once or twice a year? I rarely drink and I don't smoke.