Weight Loss opposite sex attention?

Frankly, if you're having trouble finding a date, it's more likely that your rather negative outlook on your dating life / women in general is to blame.

Handsome/"date-able" and overweight can absolutely go together; I've had male classmates who were 100+ lb overweight but constantly dating some pretty girl or another because they were funny, outgoing, etc. Sometimes these guys were physically attractive, sometimes not - either way, their personalities made them attractive dating prospects, not their levels of fitness. Your lament that women ONLY like one body type (Brad Pitt) and won't give you the benefit of the doubt because they're so shallow just isn't true, at least in my experience.

Based on what you've posted, I can't say whether or not I would find you attractive, but knowing that you would automatically view me as "superficial" just because I'm female is a pretty dramatic turn-off - and chances are that when you interact with women, your attitude towards them does shine through. Keep an open mind and remember that women are individuals, not some sort of collective hive-mind; it could very well be that there's a lady out there who finds you perfectly attractive at your current weight. : )

No one wants to date a "poor pitiful me" type no matter what size you are.

aw no fun

Sure girls want guys who are "athletic". It's the biology of attraction and they subconsciously attribute certain physiological features to being a great father for their children. With that being said the #1 reason women find "athletic" men attractive is due to confidence. I used to be overweight and had very poor self-esteem. Lifting weights not only made me look better but made me feel better about myself. THAT is what women like.

Women also like a sense of humor...someone who respects us...that we can have a conversation with...
Women do not ALWAYS = shallow...
I made sure to say "always" because there are definitely shallow women out there...also shallow men.

Eskimo Mark:

There are also men who are very shallow. The thing is that there are nice men and women out there who care more about personality and a person's values rather than their looks. There are shallow men and women who expect a perfect looking person.

I don't know about you, but I prefer to have friends and to go on dates with someone who is not shallow and who care about me as a person rather than just how I look or how I dress. Do you have nice friends who are not shallow? How can you tell that they are that kind of person? I've learned ways to try and tell how a person is really like. One way is to see how they treat other people around you, do they ever talk about fat people in front of you in a negative manner? Also, it takes time to get to know someone, wait awhile to see how they are like after awhile. Every person tries to make a good impression and to be on their best behavior when they start out dating, after awhile things start to become more relaxed and you can get to know a person better during that time.

Really, you should give women a chance. A negative attitude can prejudice a negative result. I'm a really nice person, but I have met men who initially misunderstood and immediately assumed something negative about myself. They took only TEN MINUTES to get to know me and already made a judgement about my character. If you immediately start out the date with a negative attitude, you are going to assume the worst of her when she could in fact be a good person. I had a guy who was talking about his work. I was nodding along to show I was listening. Immediately he started nodding along too and said "oh! You know about ___?" In a very sarcastic manner. I then looked surprised and said, "No. I was just nodding to show that I was listening." I stopped nodding when he continued to talk because it obviously bothered him and I was showing consideration towards his feelings. It didn't matter though, he made a snap judgment and obviously didn't like my company though out the whole date. It's sad because if he really liked a nice girl, he met one but didn't open up or give an opportunity for me to show my character.

I have heard men say stuff like "she would be cute if she lost fourty pounds. What is her problem? Just go run a few miles each day" or just earlier I was walking from a co-op to my apartment and there were these really good looking jocks that said to each other "must be hard to walk with all that weight" and they were talking about me. When I weighed less there was this really cute guy at work who kept on flirting with me. There was this really obese girl who was a customer and kept bending over to set her groceries on the wheel. He got my attention and started to point at her and silently laugh, making gestures about her being fat. I wasn't interested in him at all after he started making those remarks. Did I immediately assume that all men are shallow and I will have a hard time meeting a good guy just because there are some a**holes in the world? No. I think it's really sexist to assume one sex is more shallow than another sex. It's about figuring out how to weed out the jerks from the nice people.

It's not only girls.
I lost ~45 pounds while still in high school, and now i get attention from guys that had rejected me 4, 5, 6, years ago. 2 years ago nobody would look at me, and now i have people asking me for dates. I think it's amusing.

Both men and women have preferences. Not all have the same preferences. Also the attitude you present to the world can also change with your weight for some people. I don't expect every guy to find me attractive, and I am happy with the ones that do (my husband specifically).

sentaruu wrote: »

become gay, guys only go after people for their personality.

Yeah. There are plenty of superficial guys in the gay community. I have gay friends to talk about it all the time. "I'm only interested in ______." It depends on the individual, not their sex or what their sexuality is.

lh3828 wrote: »

EskimoMark wrote: »

Yeah I could get a gold digger, but I want to actually feel a connection. But I don't understand why the *kitten* can't a girl realize that just because a dude is big or something doesn't mean he's a bad person.

Wooooowww.... There are many different types of users in the world. Maybe you should look at what you look for in a girl and what types of girls you are persuing. There are nice women in the world. Are you looking over the nice girls? Is there something about your personality rather than your looks that are detracting nice girls out there? Are you not even putting yourself out there to look for a date? Plenty of people (men and women of all shapes and sizes) get rejected, but every 'no' leads to a 'yes.' Just because a girl says 'no' isn't because of your weight either. It could be that you both aren't a good connection or many other reasons. As a human being she has the right to say 'no' and she doesn't owe you anything because she is not a commodity that owes you a date just because you are nice to her or just because you like her.

Just a heads-up...OP was a troll and deactivated their account...
but we can continue the lively discussion!