"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get too skinny!"

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Replies

  • CupcakeCrusoe
    CupcakeCrusoe Posts: 1,351 Member
    edited November 2014
    FitFroglet wrote: »
    And in answer to OP - I believe at the beginning of my weight loss I probably said similar.

    For me it was that having been very overweight for so long I couldn't relate to a small frame and couldn't picture myself ever getting there.

    Setting my initial goal at the very top end of healthy made it feel more achievable, and more like the person I was used to being.

    For me 'I don't want to be too skinny' wasn't anything to do with a specific look or weight, but more to do with 'I want to be healthy but I still want to be me'.

    As I get closer and closer to healthy weight 'me' is changing in all kinds of ways so I think when I get to healthy I might want to keep going with a bit of a recomp (I like my slowly emerging muscles).

    TL:DR? Fear of failure and unfamiliarity with slimness caused me to say similar things at the outset.

    This. I couldn't even imagine myself at 125 or 130, having been greater than 150 for as long as I could remember. 145 seemed achievable.

    eta typo
  • MsHarryWinston
    MsHarryWinston Posts: 1,027 Member
    edited November 2014
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    I find it strange too. People claim to have different body types though and claim to be more muscular naturally whereas they look emaciated at a low weight, but I do wonder if they are fooling themselves. Without purposely lifting weights to bulk up, I question if they are right. I look best at the low end of the bmi scale or a little underweight according to bmi.

    I look fine at the top end of my healthy BMI, but I'm not scared of getting smaller.

    SAM_3249.jpg
    image sharing

    My BMI was 24.9 in this pic. This was after 2 kids (I've had a 3rd now and am getting back to this size) but when I was this size in my 20s, my BMI was about 23. Strength training makes a difference :)

    If you've never been thin before, you can't imagine how you'd look, and it must be weird. I've never heard anyone worry about getting too thin though.

    you look good in that pic. I also think that boob size and where you hold your weight matters a lot. I have tiny boobs at pretty much every weight and I am extreme pear shaped which is a bad look at a high bmi for me. I also had a double chin at 24.9 bmi and was bordering on a size 14. I really looked fat at 24.9 bmi. I didn't look like you at all. I also don't have muscles naturally which makes it worse. probably should lift.

    So true, frame size and how you carry your weight make a huge difference. I'm an hourglass shape. I have strong leg muscles, small waist, big bum and have boobs the size of your head. No that is NOT an exaggeration. I'm a bit of a booby freak of nature. *shrug*. My boobs are actually super small in that pic (for me, they were like a 32 I. Yes, as in G-H-I) because my body fat was so low even though I was such a high weight, and that's with no weight training, I was a runner.

    To hell with BMI! We're all super special snowflakes!!
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    The answer is different for each case. A personal goal is just that, personal. No one has the right to pressure anyone to lower/raise goal weight unless it poses a health risk.

    In my case, I simply like my curves and prefer a little bit of body fat going on. Too skinny for me is when I start losing my curves or go under a D cup. It doesn't matter if it's still within healthy range, if I don't look the way I like to look it's too skinny.
  • shandy82165
    shandy82165 Posts: 184 Member
    FitFroglet wrote: »
    And in answer to OP - I believe at the beginning of my weight loss I probably said similar.

    For me it was that having been very overweight for so long I couldn't relate to a small frame and couldn't picture myself ever getting there.

    Setting my initial goal at the very top end of healthy made it feel more achievable, and more like the person I was used to being.

    For me 'I don't want to be too skinny' wasn't anything to do with a specific look or weight, but more to do with 'I want to be healthy but I still want to be me'.

    As I get closer and closer to healthy weight 'me' is changing in all kinds of ways so I think when I get to healthy I might want to keep going with a bit of a recomp (I like my slowly emerging muscles).

    TL:DR? Fear of failure and unfamiliarity with slimness caused me to say similar things at the outset.

    This. I couldn't even imagine myself at 125 or 130, having been greater than 150 for as long as I could remember. 145 seemed achievable.

    eta typo

    This. Both of these statements was it for me, exactly.
  • IslandDreamer64
    IslandDreamer64 Posts: 258 Member
    Well speaking for those that have been seriously overweight for a long time, reaching "goal" weight is almost impossible due to the excess skin we grew to accomodate the extra fat.

    Personally speaking, I know how smoking hot I looked when I graduated high school, at 5'6" and 175 pounds. That is a full 20 pounds over the highest recommended weight for my height. Guess what? I. Don't. Care. I know it's a good weight for me. Also? I don't give a hoot what anyone else sets as their goal weight. It's a very personal choice.
  • ThePhoenixIsRising
    ThePhoenixIsRising Posts: 781 Member
    I think some people need a goal that is less intimidating "easer", Choosing the high end of the scale does that.

    There are others who need a goal that is "harder", and chose a goal on the low end of the scale.

    The great thing about long term goals is they can be adjusted as you come close to them. I would bet most people end up adjusting their goals as they are as to better visualize the end result.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    FitFroglet wrote: »
    For me it was that having been very overweight for so long I couldn't relate to a small frame and couldn't picture myself ever getting there.

    That's similar to my story too. I was a fat kid. Lost weight in my late teens. I carried my weight "well" so I always assumed I was just a big boy. That was confirmed by other people, who just thought I was suppose to bigger in general. Got down into my 180s and even though I had decent muscle mass, was surprised that I still had so much fat left. That's why I learned about frame size, "normal" weight ranges, and learned that my idea of weight was very warped by my hears as a fat kid. I was never large framed, husky, "big boned", or anything like that. Fat is visually very deceptive.
    FitFroglet wrote: »
    For me 'I don't want to be too skinny' wasn't anything to do with a specific look or weight, but more to do with 'I want to be healthy but I still want to be me'.

    "I still want to be me".

    That's one of the most fascinating insights I've seen on this topic.

    It's so rooted in self perception. If you've been fat long enough, even if you hated being fat, there is a sense of the unknown on the other end. If I'm not this thing, which I've struggled against for so long, which partially defined me, for the bad and good, who am I?
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    edited November 2014
    My BMI is 26.4
    jemhh wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Malteaster wrote: »
    I think that although people may claim to have a goal weight above normal BMI, once they get there they will reconsider and reduce their goal downwards.

    I also think if you have a lot of weight to lose it is hard to visualise what you will look like at goal, and perhaps they imagine that they will look borderline anorexic.

    This is a fascinating topic.

    Why? BMI was never meant to be used on an individual basis - it was meant for population analysis

    It is no sign of how healthy I am as an individual




    Why use bmi as an initial goal? Because it is a general starting point. It is nice to have a vague idea of where you're headed when starting to lose weight.

    My BMI is 26.4 -I truly am not certain I want to drop another 10lbs to hit a BMI of 25 - but maybe I'm kidding myself

  • CupcakeCrusoe
    CupcakeCrusoe Posts: 1,351 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    My BMI is 26.4
    jemhh wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Malteaster wrote: »
    I think that although people may claim to have a goal weight above normal BMI, once they get there they will reconsider and reduce their goal downwards.

    I also think if you have a lot of weight to lose it is hard to visualise what you will look like at goal, and perhaps they imagine that they will look borderline anorexic.

    This is a fascinating topic.

    Why? BMI was never meant to be used on an individual basis - it was meant for population analysis

    It is no sign of how healthy I am as an individual




    Why use bmi as an initial goal? Because it is a general starting point. It is nice to have a vague idea of where you're headed when starting to lose weight.

    My BMI is 26.4 -I truly am not certain I want to drop another 10lbs to hit a BMI of 25 - but maybe I'm kidding myself

    You look amazing! o.O I don't think you need another 10 lbs off you at all.
  • Maitria
    Maitria Posts: 439 Member
    I think it's just because the averages are getting bigger. Big differences seem more extreme. If the average person is slightly overweight, people who are more thin may look too distorted to what we're used to. If the average person was slightly underweight, we'd probably have people worrying about being too close to the middle of the healthy BMI and getting too large.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    edited November 2014
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    My BMI is 26.4
    jemhh wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Malteaster wrote: »
    I think that although people may claim to have a goal weight above normal BMI, once they get there they will reconsider and reduce their goal downwards.

    I also think if you have a lot of weight to lose it is hard to visualise what you will look like at goal, and perhaps they imagine that they will look borderline anorexic.

    This is a fascinating topic.

    Why? BMI was never meant to be used on an individual basis - it was meant for population analysis

    It is no sign of how healthy I am as an individual




    Why use bmi as an initial goal? Because it is a general starting point. It is nice to have a vague idea of where you're headed when starting to lose weight.

    My BMI is 26.4 -I truly am not certain I want to drop another 10lbs to hit a BMI of 25 - but maybe I'm kidding myself

    And I look at that pic and think you look awesome, but if you said you wanted to drop another 10 or so pounds to lean out further I wouldn't ever even think of saying it was inappropriate or accuse you of dubois anorexia. I don't think your body in a lower weight range would be inappropriate, even if you didn't desire it for your own personal goals.

    There is nothing wrong with stopping higher. I'm questioning why stopping lower seems to be increasingly stigmatized.

  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    I find it strange too. People claim to have different body types though and claim to be more muscular naturally whereas they look emaciated at a low weight, but I do wonder if they are fooling themselves. Without purposely lifting weights to bulk up, I question if they are right. I look best at the low end of the bmi scale or a little underweight according to bmi.

    I look fine at the top end of my healthy BMI, but I'm not scared of getting smaller.

    SAM_3249.jpg
    image sharing

    My BMI was 24.9 in this pic. This was after 2 kids (I've had a 3rd now and am getting back to this size) but when I was this size in my 20s, my BMI was about 23. Strength training makes a difference :)

    If you've never been thin before, you can't imagine how you'd look, and it must be weird. I've never heard anyone worry about getting too thin though.

    you look good in that pic. I also think that boob size and where you hold your weight matters a lot. I have tiny boobs at pretty much every weight and I am extreme pear shaped which is a bad look at a high bmi for me. I also had a double chin at 24.9 bmi and was bordering on a size 14. I really looked fat at 24.9 bmi. I didn't look like you at all. I also don't have muscles naturally which makes it worse. probably should lift.

    So true, frame size and how you carry your weight make a huge difference. I'm an hourglass shape. I have strong leg muscles, small waist, big bum and have boobs the size of your head. No that is NOT an exaggeration. I'm a bit of a booby freak of nature. *shrug*. My boobs are actually super small in that pic (for me, they were like a 32 I. Yes, as in G-H-I) because my body fat was so low even though I was such a high weight, and that's with no weight training, I was a runner.

    To hell with BMI! We're all super special snowflakes!!

    you are lucky
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    I find it strange too. People claim to have different body types though and claim to be more muscular naturally whereas they look emaciated at a low weight, but I do wonder if they are fooling themselves. Without purposely lifting weights to bulk up, I question if they are right. I look best at the low end of the bmi scale or a little underweight according to bmi.

    I look fine at the top end of my healthy BMI, but I'm not scared of getting smaller.

    SAM_3249.jpg
    image sharing

    My BMI was 24.9 in this pic. This was after 2 kids (I've had a 3rd now and am getting back to this size) but when I was this size in my 20s, my BMI was about 23. Strength training makes a difference :)

    If you've never been thin before, you can't imagine how you'd look, and it must be weird. I've never heard anyone worry about getting too thin though.

    you look good in that pic. I also think that boob size and where you hold your weight matters a lot. I have tiny boobs at pretty much every weight and I am extreme pear shaped which is a bad look at a high bmi for me. I also had a double chin at 24.9 bmi and was bordering on a size 14. I really looked fat at 24.9 bmi. I didn't look like you at all. I also don't have muscles naturally which makes it worse. probably should lift.

    I'm an hourglass, my boobs are a DD, and I have wide hips (not complaining, I've had 3 babies and not needed stitches #childbearinghips). I do a lot of strength training so I suppose that's why I weigh at the top end of BMI? People are always surprised by my weight.

    I'm bigger now (6 months post partum) but I think that if I get down to that weight I'll be even smaller than in this photo. Back then (last Summer) I'd liked to have dropped another 10lbs or so.
  • MsHarryWinston
    MsHarryWinston Posts: 1,027 Member
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    I find it strange too. People claim to have different body types though and claim to be more muscular naturally whereas they look emaciated at a low weight, but I do wonder if they are fooling themselves. Without purposely lifting weights to bulk up, I question if they are right. I look best at the low end of the bmi scale or a little underweight according to bmi.

    I look fine at the top end of my healthy BMI, but I'm not scared of getting smaller.

    SAM_3249.jpg
    image sharing

    My BMI was 24.9 in this pic. This was after 2 kids (I've had a 3rd now and am getting back to this size) but when I was this size in my 20s, my BMI was about 23. Strength training makes a difference :)

    If you've never been thin before, you can't imagine how you'd look, and it must be weird. I've never heard anyone worry about getting too thin though.

    you look good in that pic. I also think that boob size and where you hold your weight matters a lot. I have tiny boobs at pretty much every weight and I am extreme pear shaped which is a bad look at a high bmi for me. I also had a double chin at 24.9 bmi and was bordering on a size 14. I really looked fat at 24.9 bmi. I didn't look like you at all. I also don't have muscles naturally which makes it worse. probably should lift.

    So true, frame size and how you carry your weight make a huge difference. I'm an hourglass shape. I have strong leg muscles, small waist, big bum and have boobs the size of your head. No that is NOT an exaggeration. I'm a bit of a booby freak of nature. *shrug*. My boobs are actually super small in that pic (for me, they were like a 32 I. Yes, as in G-H-I) because my body fat was so low even though I was such a high weight, and that's with no weight training, I was a runner.

    To hell with BMI! We're all super special snowflakes!!

    you are lucky

    Yeah, no doubt. I try to not take it for granted, but obviously I kinda did which is why I have to lose weight now. The scale crept up and I kept looking fab and then BAM! Put on 80lbs and now I'm screwed and have to pay the price.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    I just think its them saying they would be happy just to be in the normal range of not being overweight and they arent being too ambitious. Same as with toned, they dont need rippling muscles but theyd like a bit of shape. For people losing weight it takes a lot of getting used to and is moe than some of them can imagine that this time they will finally get to a weight which is normal and healthy.

    Completely harmless and understandable imo.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    My BMI is 26.4
    jemhh wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Malteaster wrote: »
    I think that although people may claim to have a goal weight above normal BMI, once they get there they will reconsider and reduce their goal downwards.

    I also think if you have a lot of weight to lose it is hard to visualise what you will look like at goal, and perhaps they imagine that they will look borderline anorexic.

    This is a fascinating topic.

    Why? BMI was never meant to be used on an individual basis - it was meant for population analysis

    It is no sign of how healthy I am as an individual




    Why use bmi as an initial goal? Because it is a general starting point. It is nice to have a vague idea of where you're headed when starting to lose weight.

    My BMI is 26.4 -I truly am not certain I want to drop another 10lbs to hit a BMI of 25 - but maybe I'm kidding myself

    And I look at that pic and think you look awesome, but if you said you wanted to drop another 10 or so pounds to lean out further I wouldn't ever even think of saying it was inappropriate or accuse you of dubois anorexia. I don't think your body in a lower weight range would be inappropriate, even if you didn't desire it for your own personal goals.

    There is nothing wrong with stopping higher. I'm questioning why stopping lower seems to be increasingly stigmatized.

    I think it's a good question and an interesting one. When Jennifer Hudson dropped all of her weight, she made a point of saying, "I'll never be skinny." This did lead people to question, well if you don't think you're skinny now, what are you saying? It's weird, because as someone else pointed out, our problem in this country isn't a plethora of underweight people, it's the opposite. And then someone accused the OP of wanting to be underweight, when that was never said or even implied. So there's clearly some kind of "badness" to being thin for some people. I wonder too, OP, where that comes from.
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
    well for someone who is starting at a very high weight they can expect to have high excess skin poundage as part of the package. This could very well mean that in order to be healthy they'd have to stay at the higher end of their "healthy" weight range because while the skin contributes to the numbers on the scale it doesn't actually contribute anything to the function and health of the body. If, for example, I were to get down to 130 pounds I would still be 12 pounds above what would be considered "underweight" according to the BMI. That's plenty healthy, right? Except at 130 pounds I will have approximately 18 pounds of excess skin based on amount of weight lost. This isn't lean mass, organs, muscle, skeletal system, essential fat. It's just extra, useless junk hanging off me like skin drapes. So saying I'm a good and healthy weight at 130 pounds would be like taking a 112 pound 5'7" individual, putting them on the scale, saying "you're underweight. let's fix that" and then draping 18 pounds of skin over their arms to boost the numbers and calling it a day. For someone who has been quite obese, staying at the higher end of their healthy range (or possibly even lower end of "overweight" depending on how much skin they are carrying) might actually be the best option even if it's not ideal. At least until they can get the skin removed.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    I find it strange too. People claim to have different body types though and claim to be more muscular naturally whereas they look emaciated at a low weight, but I do wonder if they are fooling themselves. Without purposely lifting weights to bulk up, I question if they are right. I look best at the low end of the bmi scale or a little underweight according to bmi.

    I look fine at the top end of my healthy BMI, but I'm not scared of getting smaller.

    SAM_3249.jpg
    image sharing

    My BMI was 24.9 in this pic. This was after 2 kids (I've had a 3rd now and am getting back to this size) but when I was this size in my 20s, my BMI was about 23. Strength training makes a difference :)

    If you've never been thin before, you can't imagine how you'd look, and it must be weird. I've never heard anyone worry about getting too thin though.

    you look good in that pic. I also think that boob size and where you hold your weight matters a lot. I have tiny boobs at pretty much every weight and I am extreme pear shaped which is a bad look at a high bmi for me. I also had a double chin at 24.9 bmi and was bordering on a size 14. I really looked fat at 24.9 bmi. I didn't look like you at all. I also don't have muscles naturally which makes it worse. probably should lift.

    I'm an hourglass, my boobs are a DD, and I have wide hips (not complaining, I've had 3 babies and not needed stitches #childbearinghips). I do a lot of strength training so I suppose that's why I weigh at the top end of BMI? People are always surprised by my weight.

    I'm bigger now (6 months post partum) but I think that if I get down to that weight I'll be even smaller than in this photo. Back then (last Summer) I'd liked to have dropped another 10lbs or so.

    yeah, I am not even an A cup at that bmi. I also have super wide hips and bigger thighs and had nothing to balance it out.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    edited November 2014
    MsHarryWinston you look fine as hell in that pic.

    But your weight doesn't surprise me. You're taller than average, blessed in the chest, and have some serious muscle mass. You look like our stereotypical image of a beautiful amazonian warrior, ala Wonder Woman. So no, your weight doesn't surprise me at all, and you're an obvious outlier for the typical BMI range.

    Which most people aren't. Even though it's common to believe they are.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    I find it strange too. People claim to have different body types though and claim to be more muscular naturally whereas they look emaciated at a low weight, but I do wonder if they are fooling themselves. Without purposely lifting weights to bulk up, I question if they are right. I look best at the low end of the bmi scale or a little underweight according to bmi.

    I look fine at the top end of my healthy BMI, but I'm not scared of getting smaller.

    SAM_3249.jpg
    image sharing

    My BMI was 24.9 in this pic. This was after 2 kids (I've had a 3rd now and am getting back to this size) but when I was this size in my 20s, my BMI was about 23. Strength training makes a difference :)

    If you've never been thin before, you can't imagine how you'd look, and it must be weird. I've never heard anyone worry about getting too thin though.

    you look good in that pic. I also think that boob size and where you hold your weight matters a lot. I have tiny boobs at pretty much every weight and I am extreme pear shaped which is a bad look at a high bmi for me. I also had a double chin at 24.9 bmi and was bordering on a size 14. I really looked fat at 24.9 bmi. I didn't look like you at all. I also don't have muscles naturally which makes it worse. probably should lift.

    I'm an hourglass, my boobs are a DD, and I have wide hips (not complaining, I've had 3 babies and not needed stitches #childbearinghips). I do a lot of strength training so I suppose that's why I weigh at the top end of BMI? People are always surprised by my weight.

    I'm bigger now (6 months post partum) but I think that if I get down to that weight I'll be even smaller than in this photo. Back then (last Summer) I'd liked to have dropped another 10lbs or so.

    yeah, I am not even an A cup at that bmi. I also have super wide hips and bigger thighs and had nothing to balance it out.

    At least you can wear halter necks and skimpy tops and not worry about a bra!