Being judged-leave me be!

Hanowenho
Hanowenho Posts: 24
in Health and Weight Loss
I quite often find people will offer you small things such as a brownie, small cake or a sweet. I know many people who do this on a regular basis who genuinely get offended when I politely decline!
People always seem to think they know what's best for your body, saying "well a little bit of what you like does you good". They can't comprehend that I know much more about what's best for me to eat that day than they do!
I've also stopped drinking cows milk in favour of almond, and stopped drinking alcohol unless it's a big occasion. As a student, I'm getting quite a lot of stick for not drinking sporadically throughout the week! When my excuse is my health they judge me, if I lie and say it's merely funds they'll pass me the special brew!
Sick of it. Anyone else find this?!
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Replies

  • ThePhoenixIsRising
    ThePhoenixIsRising Posts: 781 Member
    The them you became Mormon and it's against your religion. :grin:
  • Hanowenho
    Hanowenho Posts: 24
    Brilliant! I lived with a Mormon last year who didn't drink; he was awfully annoying. I think my housemates would just laugh in my face!
  • elysedorm
    elysedorm Posts: 15
    edited November 2014
    You're supposed to take it and say I'll save it for later, then throw it away where they can't see you. That's the easiest way to deal with people.
  • Adara65
    Adara65 Posts: 51
    edited November 2014
    ha! You, do you! Consider yourself wise beyond your years. Someday, they will find their choices are not so fulfilling.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Well, unfortunately it is an age thing. When elders offer you something to eat, they will always think of you as a kid and in their mind, they know best for you. I simply just take a bite and say thank you and tell them that I had a big lunch or you aren't feeling good or something. If its your peers telling you to eat up or whatever, just tell them that you are working on getting in better shape and saying it politely but firmly. I never had issues in anyone accepting no after I say it.

    As for drinking, just tell them you aren't a big drinker. I used to often to go bars with my friends and only drank coffee at a bar while others got smashed. It was actually kinda amusing. Besides, its always good to be sober in case you have to be the designated driver for somebody. You're saving lives! and your waist! :D
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
    Sometimes people truly don't understand why you don't want to eat whatever it is they're offering and they take it personally--esp. when it's homemade. They can feel like you're rejecting them. Or they just don't get why you'd turn down something tasty they're offering to be nice.

    People sometimes, consciously or not, can try and break someone else's self-control because it helps them feel better about their own lack of it.
  • ThePhoenixIsRising
    ThePhoenixIsRising Posts: 781 Member
    S
    Hanowenho wrote: »
    Brilliant! I lived with a Mormon last year who didn't drink; he was awfully annoying. I think my housemates would just laugh in my face!

    soo are they passing you the brew because..... :smiling_imp:
  • vegwrangler
    vegwrangler Posts: 143 Member
    What I don't understand is why do people think that everyone has a sweet tooth? I'm perfectly content passing on sweets regardless of my personal convictions/commitment to my personal health!

    You're not alone. There is no magical "piss off" mechanism you can utilize, not that I have witnessed at least. If you find something that works, please share ;-)!

    When it comes to cocktails, I have found great luck in ordering a sparkling water on the rocks with a wedge of lime, and just sip on it as if it's a vodka tonic or something of the like. Easier on the wallet, non-damaging to your body :-). It really is sad that I feel the need to resort to deception... but having the "why aren't you drinking..." discussion is a serious mood-kill!
  • Hanowenho
    Hanowenho Posts: 24
    Adara65 wrote: »
    ha! You, do you! Consider yourself wise beyond your years. Someday, they will find their choices are not so fulfilling.

    Brilliant! That's the best way to look at it

  • Hanowenho
    Hanowenho Posts: 24
    Good points! Had to drive a few people home from the student union yesterday, I was grateful for the 'no-drinking' in a nice warm car!
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    don't make a big deal of it (sometimes we do without meaning to)

    say - I don't really like to drink - but have a good time anyway

    say - No thanks, I don't fancy it
  • OrangeBabelfish
    OrangeBabelfish Posts: 67 Member
    Ignore them. My personal favourite pet hate - people who go "oh, but you don't need to lose any weight".

    Eeerrr - I think I'll decide that for myself, thank you very much. If *I* am not happy with my weight and want to lose it, stop judging it. The reverse would be unthinkable!

    Don't feel you need to justify it. There's nothing wrong with saying no to cake, or drinks. If people get offended by something like that, it suggests they have a problem, not you!
  • Hanowenho
    Hanowenho Posts: 24
    OrangeBabelfish wrote: »
    Ignore them. My personal favourite pet hate - people who go "oh, but you don't need to lose any weight".

    Eeerrr - I think I'll decide that for myself, thank you very much. If *I* am not happy with my weight and want to lose it, stop judging it. The reverse would be unthinkable!

    Don't feel you need to justify it. There's nothing wrong with saying no to cake, or drinks. If people get offended by something like that, it suggests they have a problem, not you!
    Hahah! Could you imagine how they'd feel if you said they don't need to put on any weight. Double standards!
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    You're too young to be drinking anyway, so you might should hang out with better friends.

    However, in some cultures, it is considered a great offense to refuse something that is offered. We often pride ourselves in being non-traditionalists, but I think some of those old world traditions still exist. Perhaps those traditions exist because of something that comes naturally to us. One of the signs of friendship is a willingness to break bread together. I think it depends on the situation whether it is acceptable to refuse something or not. But accepting something doesn't mean you can't discretely dispose of it after you have received it.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
    This is all peer pressure. Tell them no and that's it. I wouldn't let it bother you, you just have more self control than they do. I also wouldn't take it and throw it away later, why should you?
  • SLHysell
    SLHysell Posts: 247 Member
    I think it's a matter of people trying to justify their own bad choices. When they see you making good choices, it forces them to look at themselves. The easiest passage to making themselves feel better is to persuade you to skip back over to their side of the equation. I don't think anyone does this on purpose; it's just that people don't really like when others' behavior shines a negative light on their own.

    Stay firm. Your choices are about you. Everyone has the ability and the right to choose the lifestyle (and the resulting consequences) they want.
  • shamp5
    shamp5 Posts: 7 Member
    I get this all the time. "you don't need to loose weight" "It won't hurt you" I find the oh I had a big lunch works well. I don't tell people I'm trying to loose weight anymore.
  • PheonixRizing
    PheonixRizing Posts: 131 Member
    Agreed. Just politely decline and feel good about yourself for doing so and don't worry so much about how people react. They'll get over it.
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    I also wouldn't take it and throw it away later, why should you?

    Sometimes, it is just the nice thing to do to let people think that they've been able to help in some way.
  • blktngldhrt
    blktngldhrt Posts: 1,053 Member
    SLHysell wrote: »
    I think it's a matter of people trying to justify their own bad choices. When they see you making good choices, it forces them to look at themselves. The easiest passage to making themselves feel better is to persuade you to skip back over to their side of the equation. I don't think anyone does this on purpose; it's just that people don't really like when others' behavior shines a negative light on their own.

    Stay firm. Your choices are about you. Everyone has the ability and the right to choose the lifestyle (and the resulting consequences) they want.

    1000x this.

    I find it hard around my family during the holidays. They ask me why I'm not eating cake or pie or candy. I've had reactive hypoglycemia for over 11 years now and they continue to offer or comment and ask why I'm not eating those things.

    Also.. Nothing is more irritating than people acting like you're a wet blanket for not wanting to drink. Sorry I don't want to black out or have a seizure was still not a good enough excuse some nights.

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