We broke up because...
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Her grandpa wanted me too...0
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He had a thing for old people and I just didn't have enough wrinkles0
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She didn't have enough wrinkles0
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He liked touching random people's wrinkles0
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Wouldn't let me look into her eyes.0
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Was always dissecting my every move0
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He liked to dissect random things0
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Tied me to the bed, I thought she was kinky. Then she brought out those tools, turned out she wanted to dissect me.0
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caught her in bed dissecting some dude !0
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caught him bed dissecting some dude with his guitar.0
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Came home with a guitar covered in blood, I reported him to the police0
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She stole my fire flower...0
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He kept accusing everyone of stealing his fire flower.0
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She wasn't original enough0
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He wore purple mitts to bed every night and a hello kitty night cap.0
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She had a problem with my style of dress...nothing wrong with shorts and a parka..it's a thing!0
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She kept stealing my clothes to wear to see her other girlfriend0
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They were technically my clothes I lent her forever ago0
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She got mad that I wore her neon striped biker shorts and baby doll dress rocking a palm tree ponytail and mile high bangs.. Totally jealous!0
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She said i was too big...of a geek
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those glasses...
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she was obsessed with glasses.0
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Was obsessed with his feet0
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She didn't like bacon!0
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Showed up at Sunday dinner in his speedo0
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didn't like my speedo0
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Took better leg selfies!0
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Didn't like my makeup0
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Makeup all over the bathroom counter0
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Threw away 1000$ worth of my make up!
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