We broke up because...
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She hated being called Mrs. Robinson0
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I hated when he called me my ex's name.0
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She decided she likes guys0
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Too much duckface!0
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He used to quack at random girls, I was right there rude!0
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She made me talk like Donald Duck while we were getting busy0
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He wouldnt marry me on a Hot Air Balloon0
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She was always filled with hot air..0
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Had a hot air balloon fixation0
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He liked to spend more time with his pole than with me.0
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She never returned my call0
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He was on call for other women! Some kind of Gigolo I think!
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She was always sooooooo needy0
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Couldn't afford my gigolo fees0
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He was always asking me for money.0
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She kept playing with my... food.0
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Wouldn't let me ride the pony!0
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Couldn't handle the stallion.0
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Named his equipment "The Stallion".0
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Always went Horseback riding!0
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Only liked it bareback!
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Never shaved her back! and front!0
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Didn't like playing in the rough..0
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Never listened when I said the "Safe" word!0
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@FabulousFantasticFifty kept leaving me for younger men!
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Made me bath in the yard with a shower hose!0
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Wanted to stop everytime we started.0
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Kept breaking up with three people at once because my computer is slow!0
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He was dating multiple people.0
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Never could keep up so I went for someone younger!
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