Anxiety walking outside.

DanniB423
DanniB423 Posts: 777 Member
edited November 14 in Fitness and Exercise
The weather is making a turn for the better and I want to walk/jog in my neighborhood. I know I shouldn't care what people think about me but I still have a massive amount of weight to lose (80 lbs) and it makes me nervous. For every person thinking "good for her" there is probably one thinking "eek move over heffer". I know it shouldn't matter but it is just something that bugs me! Has anyone else felt like this?

Replies

  • yesimpson
    yesimpson Posts: 1,372 Member
    That sucks that you think twice about going outside for exercise because of what people might think or say. I have felt that way about things like gym classes, house parties, and sometimes dates if I felt the guy was too good looking for me and others would wonder why he was with me, so I recognise the feeling and it's horrible, it does make you feel so exposed, worthless and defensive.

    I think the majority of people are so wrapped up in their own thing they don't really notice 99% of what is going on around them apart from where the pavement is and whether a car is about to hit them. You have the right to walk around in your own neighbourhood. Even if someone does think negatively of you, or say anything, it has more of a reflection on them than you. Realistically I think once you start your fears will dissipate and hopefully you'll start to enjoy getting out in the sunshine (and think of the extra calories you can have once you start jogging!).
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    I felt like that when I was overweight and lived in the suburbs, where *anyone* walking (not in a car) was conspicuous. If you live in a place like that, go to a park, or try different neighborhoods, until you feel comfortable walking
  • AlciaMode
    AlciaMode Posts: 421 Member
    If someone thinks "move over heffer" they are the ugly ones. Besides screw them because you are getting your fit on and you will soon look so damn good that cars will be stopping to drool. So start walking outside like that is already the case and strut your stuff girl!
  • Tanyae123
    Tanyae123 Posts: 5 Member
    I know it's easier said than done but who cares what people think! If anyone is thinking anything nasty like that they are the people that would have a smart comment about anyone and everyone! You've done brilliantly so far and should walk down the street with your head held so high you won't even notice em! Haha
  • rileyes
    rileyes Posts: 1,406 Member
    You won't care once the endorphins set in. ;) I think that awkward feeling when you first set out alone is something many people experience. You get over it.
  • SquishyLaughter
    SquishyLaughter Posts: 124 Member
    I have 80lbs to lose, and when I go for runs, I sometimes hear people
    at the park make comments as I run by, so I started listening to music as I ran. If I can't hear them, they don't exist. Maybe that could work for you too.
  • Arduinna4
    Arduinna4 Posts: 129 Member
    I know exactly how you feel! In my life in general i always wanted to be invisible (low self-esteem) and i was afraid that everyone was looking at me even though there isnt anything weird about me. So my greatest fear is when i went in the park where everyone is walking/jogging and i tried for the first time in my life to jog/run.
    The truth is (like someone said above) that no one is looking at you/caring how you look. You have to convince yourself that you are not the center of the universe, nobody is.
    Find your mantra and repeat it when you start to feel insecure.
    Also, i tend to believe that the vast majority of strangers will have positive thinking about your efforts. Imagine them cheering for you.
    Believe me after the first times you will feel great!
    Life is too short to care what strangers think!
    P.S. Sorry if my English is bad. :)
  • mart001
    mart001 Posts: 194 Member
    something i wwrote on here a few months ago thats similar and not just about walking:

    Funny, but every insecurity I have had about myself, whether it be looks, weight or what ever, I have heard people on here saying the same thing about themselves.
    And the funny thing is, I look at those people and think, what are they talking about? they look fine to me. I guess we see ourselves differently than others do. I put up a post yesterday asking for everyone’s opinion if they thought I looked ok at the weight I am at now, as I only have like 5 pounds to my goal. You do not realize, that reading almost every response being positive means so much to me. I have gone thru the days of not wanting to be in pictures because of hating what i saw, seeing people laughing as I walked by, hating to go out to eat figuring people thinking, look at that fat guy, he should not be eating that. walking in and praying i would be able to fit in that booth, avoiding traveling because afraid i would not be able to fit in the planes seat. not wanting to go see shows or sporting events for fear i wouldn’t fit in the seats or bother the person next to me with taking up to much space. walking into a store in the mall, and having nothing in your size to buy. It is all so degrading.

    People on here ask how I have stayed so strong for these 17 months that I have been on My Fitness Pal and its because of the reasons above. I am mad at myself for putting myself in that position. My stroke that I had was mostly caused by my weight.That is something I will live with the rest of my life with the damage it has done. It has taken me now 17 months, to feel normal for the first time in many years. Just so much wasted time where I could have been enjoying myself, instead of being miserable. So why have I been so good? Because I know those feelings and vow to never live like that again. And most of my success is because of you. All the likes and comments, really do mean something. Especially when you have gone thru years of not hearing positive things. So next time you think are alone in this, you are not! We have all gone thru the same insecurities and emotions that you have and having friends on here helps so much.
    The one good thing about feeling hurt and embarrassed, is that is what is what makes me stronger now. I will be staying on mfp when I reach my goal because I know I need this and have read to many stories of people that reach their goal, leave, and are back a year later, regaining everything they lost, plus some. So thank you to everyone whether we have been friends for 17 months or one day. I want to be here and celebrate when each of you reach your goals. Hope you all have a great weekend!!!
  • trappedreams
    trappedreams Posts: 17 Member
    I used to be like this too! I used to suffer from anxiety and agoraphobia, so going anywhere was a real struggle.

    Best to start small, walk to a target place, say like 15 mintues, then once you feel okay make another target, until you build yourself up to it.

    I know it's hard, but it doesn't matter what other people think of you! most of the time people are too busy doing there own thing anyway to worry what your doing, or there distracted from reality (on there phones/tablets etc) so really its worth giving it a shot :)

    Also I found walking/exercising at night helped, depending on the type of neighborhood you live in.

    Hope that helps!
  • darrylt109
    darrylt109 Posts: 9 Member
    Don't let what people think stop you from doing what you want, especially if you don't know them. It's usually all in your head, fight past the fear of being judged and you will be fine.

    Remember, these people that you are feeling insecure around don't matter at all. They don't pay your bills or put a roof over your head, so in other words...who gives a *kitten* what they think.

    Have fun jogging!
  • PaytraB
    PaytraB Posts: 2,360 Member
    edited March 2015
    Don't let those thoughts stop you from going out for a walk and/or run. You've got this....if you want it.
    When I first started running outside, I was sure that *everyone* was watching me and laughing. It was a bit intimidating for the first couple of times. But really, all I saw were smiles, nods, waves and friendly greetings as I passed other walkers and runners.....strangers who supported me just for running. The *everyone* out there are supportive and give lots of encouragement to your routine.

    Lace up those shoes and go for a walk/run. You can do this. You'll feel great.
    If there's a park nearby head over there. It's prettier than the streets.
  • kandeye
    kandeye Posts: 216 Member
    The hardest part with social anxieties is the initial step. Those first few runs/walks you will feel awkward and self conscious but as soon as you get I to the routine and groove of things you will be too focused to think about the people around you. When you face your fears they often are no longer fears :)
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
    edited March 2015
    I understand how you feel. The hardest thing I ever had to do was go to the pool and put on a swimsuit at 290 lb so I could take a water aerobics class.

    All I can say is keep telling yourself that this is for you and other people just do not matter. Think of how you will impress the regulars along your route as they see you getting more fit and slimmer! You may even inspire someone else who is nervous about running or walking outside to do it also.

    PS: one year and 75 lb less than my first class (95 lb total gone), I have had a number of regulars come up to me and tell me that I inspired them to try to lose weight. A couple of them are now MFP members.
  • ruqayyahsmum
    ruqayyahsmum Posts: 1,513 Member
    SquishyLaughter wrote: »
    I have 80lbs to lose, and when I go for runs, I sometimes hear people
    at the park make comments as I run by, so I started listening to music as I ran. If I can't hear them, they don't exist. Maybe that could work for you too.

    This ^

    i ran the streets while i still had 150lb to lose and had stuff shouted at my by cars going past
    what did they all have in common? car loads of young scruffy men i wouldnt touch with a barge pole

    i exercise with music on now, even at the gym where they keep the music on at a decent level all the time because ive had comments there too and with an anxiety disorder i prefer to just pretend im alone as much as possible

  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    edited March 2015
    There will always be jerks out there, and there will always be awesome people out there, you have to choose who you let have an impact on your life.

    When I was pretty new to running when I had some idiotic teenage guys yell out a car window to me "Hey, just go get a bag of funyuns", if they suggested cheetos maybe I would have listened but I don't even like funyuns. I guess I could have let it bother me but besides a "oh F*** off" in my head thats about all the thought I gave it.

    Another story: In the neighborhood where I grew up there was this lady who was rather large when I was in high school. My senior year she started walking alot, like I mean alot, I saw her freaking everywhere, and I thought "well good for you". Then I went away to collge for a few months and came back on break, saw her walking and holy smokes she was like half the size she started out. She kept going too, and still walks, and 7 years later I see her when I visit home, still walking and still looking awesome. She does not know me, and I could not tell you her name (so that sorta makes me a creeper ....) but she is an inspiration to me. Who knows, maybe you can be an inspiration so someone too?

    *ETA - check and see if your town has a local running group. It may sound intimidating but a. runners are typically very nice people b. my local one hosts walks as well as runs, if your nervous there is always safety in numbers (plus chit chat, accountability, new friends, and well just extra fun!) c. ours also has a bi-annual c25k program, so if you ever decide to take it up a notch you would have built in support for that journey too
  • DeWoSa
    DeWoSa Posts: 496 Member
    edited March 2015
    The thing is, thin girls get the comments even worse. Sadly, all women get yelled at by boneheads in cars. Some comments are mean and some are sexual, but they are all ugly.

    Make sure you have on clothing you love. Work out clothes you feel good in are like a protective suit of armor.

    Best of luck.
  • tinascar2015
    tinascar2015 Posts: 413 Member
    There is a relatively young man who walks around our neighborhood, and I've been watching him now for eight years. He looks like he has a difficult time walking, and though he is overweight, he's smaller than he was in 2007. Every time I see him plodding along, I think, "Hey, good for you, Sir!" I don't know if he is trying to lose weight or if he needs to get exercise because of a medical condition. It sure doesn't look like much fun for him though, and since we live in a semi-rural area, I know he is walking some pretty long distances.

    So good for you for walking outside!
  • Woodspoon
    Woodspoon Posts: 223 Member
    rileyes wrote: »
    You won't care once the endorphins set in. ;) I think that awkward feeling when you first set out alone is something many people experience. You get over it.

    ^^ This, so much this
  • Timorous_Beastie
    Timorous_Beastie Posts: 595 Member
    Sunglasses on. Earbuds in. The rest of the world disappears.
  • njitaliana
    njitaliana Posts: 814 Member
    edited March 2015
    I have a lot more to lose than you do, but I have been waiting for spring since daylight savings time ended last October. Now I can walk after dinner and feel the sun and the breeze. It's so relaxing and freeing to walk outside. It's even more freeing to realize that the only person I need to care about is myself. I am more important than any neighbors or passersby. The same goes for you. Most people are overweight. Most people aren't even going to notice your weight because they are concerned about their own weight. And even if some do notice your weight or think badly about it, so what? In six months, they will be eating their words and thinking how they should have been walking just like you. But, really, what they think or do doesn't matter. Only you do. Go take those walks. Get thin. Get healthy. Show everyone what you can do. Show yourself that you matter.
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