judged by your weight

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Replies

  • pineapple_peach10
    pineapple_peach10 Posts: 239 Member
    And I do definitely agree that physical attraction plays a huge role in dating, relationships, etc but people can also be tactful and treat others with respect.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    edited March 2015
    suzeequu wrote: »
    I hate how we are judged by our size...it isnt easy being overweight and trying to date and put yourself out there. I actually had a man tell me once he would rather date an unattractive , uneducated, unemployed girl as long as she had a good body. sad but true

    Why is being accepting of the unattractive, uneducated and/or unemployed a reason for sadness?

    Isn't that comment basically a slap in the face to those less fortunate?
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    ReineJade wrote: »
    I think what we all want is someone who can accept us as we are, and encourage our healthy habits and goals.

    I don't think that's accurate. Even *I* don't accept how I am - I am constantly changing, striving, sometimes for the better, other times...not so much.

    I'm not sure I could be happy with someone who is satisfied with who they are.
  • jenniferinfl
    jenniferinfl Posts: 456 Member
    I don't really care about being judged for my weight in the dating scene so long as it's just, a "hey, I'm not attracted to you" thing. There are plenty of people I'm not attracted to!

    I can't even tell you for sure what makes me attracted to one person and totally not attracted to another similar person.. *shrug*

    (though, irrelevant as I've been married ten years now)

    What I REALLY hate is being judged in the workplace by my weight. My boss thinks I can't do anything. She assigns me like half the workload of someone else and than acts surprised when I have it done much earlier than expected. It would be okay if it had happened once or twice and then she learned, but she keeps acting like I'm going to be slow, stupid, or lazy because I'm fat. It's a bit ridiculous. My current job is a desk job, before this I was stocking in a warehouse and loading washing machines up on shelves. I occasionally try to remind her of that, and she just smiles patronizingly like I'm a moron.. *sigh*
  • marinabreeze
    marinabreeze Posts: 141 Member
    This is why I do not miss dating.

    I did experience similar to the OP when I was doing online dating before I met my DH. I never lied about what I looked like, and sometimes I got rude comments. One that sticks out to me is once when I posted a profile that mentioned I was looking for serious and long-term, no casual hookups. Some guy messaged me saying he wanted to have a casual hookup, and was explicit about it. I told him politely that I wasn't looking for that. He then says you fatty no one would date a whale like you.

    Not all of my dating experiences were like that, but I get where the OP is coming from. Everyone on some level wants to be loved and accepted, and just because one is overweight doesn't make them less worthy of love.

    Now honesty is one thing, but being a dick is another thing entirely. No one deserves to be put down like that - there is no way that is okay. Just say you're not interested and that's it. The put downs are unnecessary.

    And I'm sorry, but someone else slamming me unsolicited for my weight is not motivating in the least. It actually was the biggest roadblock for me losing weight - I feared being treated differently once I lost weight. FWIW I didn't get motivated to lose weight until after I got married and I no longer had the pressure of trying to be thin to gain the approval of men out in the dating world. I needed to do it for myself, not to get the approval of those who couldn't accept me as I was.
  • suzeequu
    suzeequu Posts: 110 Member
    marinabreeze wrote: »
    This is why I do not miss dating.

    I did experience similar to the OP when I was doing online dating before I met my DH. I never lied about what I looked like, and sometimes I got rude comments. One that sticks out to me is once when I posted a profile that mentioned I was looking for serious and long-term, no casual hookups. Some guy messaged me saying he wanted to have a casual hookup, and was explicit about it. I told him politely that I wasn't looking for that. He then says you fatty no one would date a whale like you.

    Not all of my dating experiences were like that, but I get where the OP is coming from. Everyone on some level wants to be loved and accepted, and just because one is overweight doesn't make them less worthy of love.

    Now honesty is one thing, but being a dick is another thing entirely. No one deserves to be put down like that - there is no way that is okay. Just say you're not interested and that's it. The put downs are unnecessary.

    And I'm sorry, but someone else slamming me unsolicited for my weight is not motivating in the least. It actually was the biggest roadblock for me losing weight - I feared being treated differently once I lost weight. FWIW I didn't get motivated to lose weight until after I got married and I no longer had the pressure of trying to be thin to gain the approval of men out in the dating world. I needed to do it for myself, not to get the approval of those who couldn't accept me as I was.

    I love myself for what I have done so far...74 lbs since fitness pal..but I had lost 20 before I even joined on here. I dont let anyone take that away from me. I am smart enough to know that he must be insecure himself to treat others so terribly. I am lovable, giving, compassionate and if I end up alone , so be it. But I believe in the good of people for the most part and have found so much support on here. Not everyone who has everyone been as overweight as I was at one point can understand how it feels to be negated for that one thing, but I really have never judged anyone who doesnt like overweight people..but I do judge those that hit below the belt about it as he did. I like being kind to people...even when they dont deserve it..it is who I am :)
    I am not a doormat by any means..but I keep my energy and mindset as positive as I can. I am a lover, not a hater <3

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