You don't have to explain your diet to everyone. Just take ownership.

13

Replies

  • TiffanyR71
    TiffanyR71 Posts: 217 Member
    avskk wrote: »
    One of my favorite tools with pushy people is to turn it back on them. "Wow, what I eat is really important to you!" "Why is it so important to you that I eat this?" "What happens if I don't have any? You seem really concerned."

    Love this! Would love to see the reaction... Will have to try that one out when "No, thanks" doesn't seem to suffice.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    edited May 2015
    sofaking6 wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    asflatasapancake wrote: »
    I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?

    I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)

    Men know what they want, women need someone to tell us.

    I can't tell if you are being serious or not.

    I think it's a matter of more women being concerned with hurting people's feelings. Not that men are out to hurt people's feelings. Just that fewer of them associate "no, I don't want cake" with personal rejection than do women. When I tell my sister "no, I don't want cake," she hears "I think your cake looks gross and would never eat it. In fact I can't believe you are eating it. Why would you eat that cake? Don't you know it's terrible for you? And by the way your roots are showing." So when I tell her no, I am more apt to try to explain a bit more. When I tell my husband "no, I don't want cake," he hears "Jemhh does not want cake. I can put the lid back on it without cutting her a piece."
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,196 Member
    No kidding...how is this not completely obvious?

  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,196 Member
    sofaking6 wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    asflatasapancake wrote: »
    I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?

    I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)

    Men know what they want, women need someone to tell us.

    Speak for yourself. :/
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    asflatasapancake wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    asflatasapancake wrote: »
    I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?

    I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)

    On the other hand, I think it is somewhat expected that men eat whatever they want, so when they say "no", it is unexpected. I know I've received quite a few comments about me refusing food.

    Mainly it's that men in general have more margin in their food budget between the deficit and maintenance, or even over maintenance calories.

    Between hormones and our smaller size, in general, that extra tortilla, serving carbs or fats, or that cookie can make or break the deficit or not.

    My husband does not have to count calories. Me, if I want to remain a lean and mean machine, it is necessary.

  • lauracups
    lauracups Posts: 533 Member
    #gives OP standing ovation
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
    Let's take gender out of it because there are plenty of examples on both sides. But for some people / in some cultures, food is love, and turning down food that's been offered is considered rude.

    I agree that it can be tricky when people insist and you feel uncomfortable saying no, but it's the kind of thing that's only uncomfortable once or twice until you get used to it. Say "no thanks" once and get pushback, but politely stick to it, and the next time will be easier and sooner or later people will stop offering you that extra piece of cake because they know you always say no.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
    Will you be my best friend? I love what you posted. :)

    Good work!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
    asflatasapancake wrote: »
    I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?

    Who cares? You getta stay! :D
  • wils5150
    wils5150 Posts: 149 Member
    lol I was accused of being no fun because I would only eat two buffalo wings. I also noticed some people get upset when some one else compliments me on my weight loss. I think it is jealousy but i could be wrong
  • BigLifter10
    BigLifter10 Posts: 1,151 Member
    Troutsy wrote: »
    Agreed 100%. My life became so much easier when I stopped explaining myself to other people.


    DEFINITELY.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,783 Member
    Love this advise. Must be why I have you on my friends list. You are amazing
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    wils5150 wrote: »
    lol I was accused of being no fun because I would only eat two buffalo wings. I also noticed some people get upset when some one else compliments me on my weight loss. I think it is jealousy but i could be wrong

    Nope I think you are right. ;);)
  • BigLifter10
    BigLifter10 Posts: 1,151 Member
    californiagirl2012 wrote: »
    wils5150 wrote: »
    lol I was accused of being no fun because I would only eat two buffalo wings. I also noticed some people get upset when some one else compliments me on my weight loss. I think it is jealousy but i could be wrong

    Nope I think you are right. ;);)


    Me too. Happens in my family as well (mother's side). Anyone who doesn't want to pig out when they are is a party pooper. Oh well.....Meet Ms. Party Pooper.
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
    OP, you look fantastic. Way to represent for us women over 50. Great post.
  • wils5150
    wils5150 Posts: 149 Member
    hello Ms pooper I am Mr pooper lol.
    I have 10 months till I turn 50 and I want to walk in to my party with a 6 pack ( no not beers lol) and say this is why i only had 2 wings lol
  • BigLifter10
    BigLifter10 Posts: 1,151 Member
    wils5150 wrote: »
    hello Ms pooper I am Mr pooper lol.
    I have 10 months till I turn 50 and I want to walk in to my party with a 6 pack ( no not beers lol) and say this is why i only had 2 wings lol


    There ya go!!! Definitely headed to that goal! :D
  • wils5150
    wils5150 Posts: 149 Member
    BigLifter10 wrote: »
    wils5150 wrote: »
    hello Ms pooper I am Mr pooper lol.
    I have 10 months till I turn 50 and I want to walk in to my party with a 6 pack ( no not beers lol) and say this is why i only had 2 wings lol


    There ya go!!! Definitely headed to that goal! :D

    Thanks my friend
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    peleroja wrote: »
    This is quality advice, and your photo certainly backs you up because you look incredible.

    Totally agree with this. But I even think your BEFORE photo backs you up because you look like you handled that hike like a boss, and are awesome.

  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,196 Member
    BigLifter10 wrote: »
    Troutsy wrote: »
    Agreed 100%. My life became so much easier when I stopped explaining myself to other people.


    DEFINITELY.

    Yes. It's really How to Adult 101.

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