Being "Transformed" by the renewing of your mind (Focusing) success stories please
NewLIFEstyle4ME
Posts: 4,440 Member
Ya know, I've been in this battle for the past few (3+) years and haven't been successful for a multi-tude of reasons and today, I'm seriously thinking about one of the main reasons that I've been
totally ignoring and not doing...positive self-talk/soul-talk and focusing.
I LOVE to read success stories and many of them discuss that they "focus" when exercising. Of course I know what "focus" means, but today I heard something that "turned the light on" for me about "focusing" and this is what it is:
Focusing on what I want to achieve INSTEAD of what I want to avoid
Now I KNOW this seems simple and one would think it would be obvious, but for me, it super hasn't been at all. When I stopped to think about my thinking on being fat and other stresses in my life, my self-talk has been almost totally negative. Focusing on what I want to achieve INSTEAD of what I want to avoid.
All this to ask: How has focus (when exercising and eating/drinking) and purposely using positive self-talk and avoiding negative self-talk/thinking/speaking about yourself and your stresses in life helped you achieve your weight-loss success? PLEASE SHARE!
totally ignoring and not doing...positive self-talk/soul-talk and focusing.
I LOVE to read success stories and many of them discuss that they "focus" when exercising. Of course I know what "focus" means, but today I heard something that "turned the light on" for me about "focusing" and this is what it is:
Focusing on what I want to achieve INSTEAD of what I want to avoid
Now I KNOW this seems simple and one would think it would be obvious, but for me, it super hasn't been at all. When I stopped to think about my thinking on being fat and other stresses in my life, my self-talk has been almost totally negative. Focusing on what I want to achieve INSTEAD of what I want to avoid.
All this to ask: How has focus (when exercising and eating/drinking) and purposely using positive self-talk and avoiding negative self-talk/thinking/speaking about yourself and your stresses in life helped you achieve your weight-loss success? PLEASE SHARE!
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Replies
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I haven't had any success yet as I just restarted yesterday, but after quitting and restarting several times this has reminded me that I can't fight the battle alone and my reasons have to be more than superficial. Thank you for your post.0
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I haven't had any success yet as I just restarted yesterday, but after quitting and restarting several times this has reminded me that I can't fight the battle alone and my reasons have to be more than superficial. Thank you for your post.
So GLAD the post helps a bit. Thanks for your reply!
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I'm a numbers person. I like keeping logs of distances cycled and walked. I work in statistics with databases. Graphs and charts fascinate me. Math interests me.
But I hadn't really thought about that when I started here and I wasn't exactly sure where my motivation was coming from.
Then the other day, my husband pointed it out when he said, "It's all about the numbers for you". Yeah, he's right. I like logging my calories and watching the numbers get so high, but no higher. I like looking at the graphs and charts here. I like logging my exercise times. And I like watching the number on the scale go down. It's all about the numbers.
Not everyone is a numbers person ... you've got to figure out your own personal motivation.
But that's what works for me.
Oh and I achieved my goal to lose 15 kg today.
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I think you are definately on the right path. I've tried many diets in my life and spent so much money on books, weight loss programs, etc. I had some successes, but this time I believed I could do it without the books and money spent on prepackaged foods. I'm losing weight 48 pounds so far, and weigh less than I have in my adult life. The difference is that even when I first started I told myself I could do it and I would do it. I have a favorite quote that says, "the first and best victory is to conquer self" I believe you have to change your mind to change your body, nothing is impossible if you truly believe in yourself!
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This is the first time ever I am approaching weightloss through positive thoughts instead of negative ones. I realized this a while ago, actually when I was reading these forums. I haven't done it on purpose, something has just changed/clicked.
In the past I used to think (and this seems so common here) things like "I look gross I have to lose weight" "I hate my stomach" "I wish I was slimmer" and "I will fail anyway but let's see how it goes". Only now I have found... I guess I could call it determination. A clear and strong sense of what I am doing and why, and there is no room for failing. I know where I'm going. A few bumps on the road wont change that.
I have understood that I love myself and my family so much that I want to be the best version of myself. Every good food choice and every exercise is an act of love. It changes me from the inside and shows outside. While the fat is melting (and it IS melting), the prettiest thing I can always wear is a smile (btw a smile is an instant face lift, just try it!) 4 -
It helped me a great deal. I've already lost my weight, but one of the things that I really tried to focus on was stopping the negative attirude towards myself. I still have issues sometimes, but I do believe it was crucial to my weight loss.1
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Good point you make here!
In regards to self love/positive self talk etc. for me it was a true gate that made me consistent with my weightloss but also other areas in my life.
Before I would sabotage myself because of that negative self talk but once I dedided I would be there for me and take it one step at a time, I saw and felt small changes and I congratulated myself (yep, out loud) for one small success at a time.
There were bumps along the way but that makes it even sweeter later on when I look back and realise that with my healthy supportive attitude towards myself, I trudged on and all the tiny changes and encouragements turned to a huge accomplishment! I am very proud of that, even more so than my weight loss !1 -
I'm a numbers person. I like keeping logs of distances cycled and walked. I work in statistics with databases. Graphs and charts fascinate me. Math interests me.
But I hadn't really thought about that when I started here and I wasn't exactly sure where my motivation was coming from.
Then the other day, my husband pointed it out when he said, "It's all about the numbers for you". Yeah, he's right. I like logging my calories and watching the numbers get so high, but no higher. I like looking at the graphs and charts here. I like logging my exercise times. And I like watching the number on the scale go down. It's all about the numbers.
Not everyone is a numbers person ... you've got to figure out your own personal motivation. But that's what works for me.
Oh and I achieved my goal to lose 15 kg today.
That's so very intriguing and inspirational at the same time--inspirational because it broadens my thoughts about other "tools/motivators" to use in this battle of the bulge. I've NEVER considered something like "numbers, charts, graphs" as being motivational and it's good to "think" about different motivating factors, instead of just one's looks and the scale. Numbers and charts huh? I've never been interested in those type of things, but thank you so much for posting and giving me something else to consider.
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I do believe that with God's help everything is possible. I'm down 29 lbs and have done it slowly over 6 months and I have a lot to go. Most people have started telling me - diet - jump start it - do it faster. However, I want this to be permanent. So I believe in order for that to be - you have to change your mind, look at food as fuel and (occasionally schedule in those treats). I really get on this site and plan my food for the entire day. Many times I end up changing some of it, add to it some, but for the most part it really helps to keep me on track. For those days when I know I need a splurge (my favorite splurge is vanilla bean cheesecake with raspberry sauce from TGIF)
I enter it and then plan really healthy foods (low carb/low sugar) for the rest of the day. This mind set is helping to keep me on tract for the long haul. I remember to thank God daily for helping me to reach my goal as if it is already done deal and I'm there already. It is helping me to believe I will make it to the end. Thanks for sharing your success. Stories like this further affirm the end journey is worth it. Thank you.
Side note: I have a little chart of boxes (about the size of a business card) on my desk. No-one would even notice it. Every time I have lost a pound I fill in the box. So visually I am reminded each day of how far I have come. It also unfortunately reminds me of how far I have to go (unfilled boxes) - but the final reminder is that the End is definitely in Sight. My only failure will be is if I stop. With MFP and my Fitbit and God that is no longer an option.
God Bless!
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debsanland wrote: »I think you are definately on the right path. I've tried many diets in my life and spent so much money on books, weight loss programs, etc. I had some successes, but this time I believed I could do it without the books and money spent on prepackaged foods. I'm losing weight 48 pounds so far, and weigh less than I have in my adult life. The difference is that even when I first started I told myself I could do it and I would do it. I have a favorite quote that says, "the first and best victory is to conquer self" I believe you have to change your mind to change your body, nothing is impossible if you truly believe in yourself!
This! Believing in yourself is so important.
Until I believed I could do it, I couldn't. Once I had it in my head that I would be successful, I was successful.
Believing in yourself also lets you forgive yourself and move on when you have a bad day.
I read a great article on Self Efficacy and of course I can't find it now, but it basically boils down to this.
Self-efficacy is a person’s belief in his or her ability to succeed in a particular situation.
People with a strong sense of self-efficacy:
-View challenging problems as tasks to be mastered
-Develop deeper interest in the activities in which they participate
-Form a stronger sense of commitment to their interests and activities
-Recover quickly from setbacks and disappointments0 -
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. - Romans 12:2
My pastor used to say, "Replace the pictures in the gallery of your mind." It's a lot easier to add new thoughts and memories than to try and erase the old. You can crowd out old habits with new ones. It's worked for me.2 -
debsanland wrote: »I think you are definately on the right path. I've tried many diets in my life and spent so much money on books, weight loss programs, etc. I had some successes, but this time I believed I could do it without the books and money spent on prepackaged foods. I'm losing weight 48 pounds so far, and weigh less than I have in my adult life. The difference is that even when I first started I told myself I could do it and I would do it. I have a favorite quote that says, "the first and best victory is to conquer self" I believe you have to change your mind to change your body, nothing is impossible if you truly believe in yourself!
48lbs gone forever...you're so fabulous , and to weight less than you have in all of your adult life--that's just tremendous!!!!! After reading these posts and thinking about this---I'm discovering one of the REAL reasons I haven't been successful in all of these 3 years (besides cico) is that I've NEVER really believed I could do it (lose 50lbs three years ago, 70lbs now) and sure enough--I haven't been successful. I really love your favorite quote too. Thank you so much for posting!
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NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »I'm a numbers person. I like keeping logs of distances cycled and walked. I work in statistics with databases. Graphs and charts fascinate me. Math interests me.
But I hadn't really thought about that when I started here and I wasn't exactly sure where my motivation was coming from.
Then the other day, my husband pointed it out when he said, "It's all about the numbers for you". Yeah, he's right. I like logging my calories and watching the numbers get so high, but no higher. I like looking at the graphs and charts here. I like logging my exercise times. And I like watching the number on the scale go down. It's all about the numbers.
Not everyone is a numbers person ... you've got to figure out your own personal motivation. But that's what works for me.
Oh and I achieved my goal to lose 15 kg today.
That's so very intriguing and inspirational at the same time--inspirational because it broadens my thoughts about other "tools/motivators" to use in this battle of the bulge. I've NEVER considered something like "numbers, charts, graphs" as being motivational and it's good to "think" about different motivating factors, instead of just one's looks and the scale. Numbers and charts huh? I've never been interested in those type of things, but thank you so much for posting and giving me something else to consider.
We're all different ...
I've done some thinking about motivation in recent months while I've been here.
What is it that suddenly motivates me to lose weight ... and stick with it until I reach my goal? I've done this a few times over the past 6 or 8 years. Prior to that, I had no trouble at all keeping the weight off because my activity level was high enough, but then my activity level dropped and I put some weight on. But 3 times, I've called a halt to the gain and have lost weight (including this time). And I'd have to say, it is the number on the scale. I hit a certain number, and that's it ... I must lose. Then it is fascinating to me to track all the calories consumed and calories burned and watch that number go down.
One particularly fascinating little experiment for me was this ... I had to drink 500 ml of water before a CT scan about a month ago. So I got up in the morning, went to the toilet, and then weighed myself. Then I drank the 500 ml of water, return to the scale, and weighed myself again. I had gained 500 grams. I "knew" that would be the result ... I've read it, I've been told it ... but it was fascinating to me to see it happen.
I don't know, maybe being intrigued by that sort of thing is silly ... but it is how I am wired.
And it's the same thing for me when it comes to my sport. I'm a long distance cyclist, and I have done some incredibly long distance events. Ultimately, they all come down to numbers for me. When I'm cycling 400 km, I do mathematically calculations all along the way ... half is 200 km, a quarter is 100 km, an eighth is 50 km, a sixteenth is 25 km ... and I have little personal celebrations, "Yay!" every time I reach one of those mini-milestones.
I even do the same sort of thing when it comes to further education. I just wrote my final for my first course of four courses for the graduate certificate I'm working on. I'm 1/4 of the way through. A mini-milestone.
I think it comes down to something like this ... if I can ride 25 km and still feel OK, then I should be able to ride the next 25 km. I don't think of the 400 km as one ride, I just think ahead to the next 25 km. Same with my education. If I have finished one course, and my world didn't end ... then I should be able to do another one. And the same with weight loss ... if I have lost 5 kg, and it was a bit challenging but nothing too extreme, then I should be able to lose another 5 kg. And if I've lost 10 kg and I'm still functioning all right, then should be able to lose another 5 kg.
Anyway, all this probably explains why I work and have education in areas like database admin, accounting, engineering tech, etc. etc. 0 -
This is the first time ever I am approaching weightloss through positive thoughts instead of negative ones. I realized this a while ago, actually when I was reading these forums. I haven't done it on purpose, something has just changed/clicked.
In the past I used to think (and this seems so common here) things like "I look gross I have to lose weight" "I hate my stomach" "I wish I was slimmer" and "I will fail anyway but let's see how it goes". Only now I have found... I guess I could call it determination. A clear and strong sense of what I am doing and why, and there is no room for failing. I know where I'm going. A few bumps on the road wont change that.
I have understood that I love myself and my family so much that I want to be the best version of myself. Every good food choice and every exercise is an act of love. It changes me from the inside and shows outside. While the fat is melting (and it IS melting), the prettiest thing I can always wear is a smile (btw a smile is an instant face lift, just try it!) I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything you've said I so relate to, this is so inspirational and encouraging to me, especially:
" Every good food choice and every exercise is an act of love. It changes me from the inside and shows outside. While the fat is melting ( and it IS melting ), the prettiest thing I can always wear is a smile (btw a smile is an instant face lift, just try it!) "
You rock, period.
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One of the things I've been doing this time around is incorporating tips from the Beck Diet Solution. I give myself "credit" for every success. These include following my food plan and staying within my calories, daily exercise, etc. A few of her other ideas that have helped include "No Choice". Instead of waffling back and forth, thinking should I have it, should I not. I just tell myself, "No Choice", I'll follow my plan. This doesn't mean I can't have a treat sometimes, but I don't want to do battle with myself every time I see something I might like. She also suggests writing down the reasons you want to lose weight on individual cards and reading thru them each day. It's a good reminder. Easy things, but sometimes the easy things are best.0
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I sometimes write a positive message on my mirror, which I have recently done again because I need to get back to telling myself good things. Right now it says "I take good care of my body". Positive thoughts can change your life for sure! I lost about 20 lbs a few years ago using this app, but somehow I haven't cared enough lately and gained it all back. I'm ready for a change. Thanks everyone for your own stories. They remind me I'm not alone.0
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I have struggled with weight my whole life and have been on the roller coaster for years. I always start at the beginning of year, only to get frustrated and “fall off the wagon” after a bad weekend. I lose a lot quickly and then it slows down. That’s when I normally get frustrated. The year’s journey began January 4th when the scale said 311. I had had enough! I was so mad at myself for letting it get that far…again! So I set my goal at 2 lbs. per week and starting logging every day. I dropped 50 lbs. in the first 12 weeks, but have only lost 5 lbs. in the last 2½ months. April and May were rocky in the sense that I would stick to my calories every day during the week and then blow it on the weekend. The scale would be up 6-8 lbs. on Mondays, but I realized most of that is water weight. Normally, I would get frustrated and give up. I finally learned that it’s ok to fall, just get back up the next day. Weekend slips have sometimes led to 4-5 day slips. But guess what? The sun comes up and it’s ok. I am currently at 55 lbs. lost and I feel like I finally have the mental part down. Just like Machka9, I am a numbers freak. I weigh myself every day and also chart my progress. I have set my chart to reflect my future loss based on my current goal. To me, it is a great motivator to stay on track. I recently bumped my goal to 1.5 lbs. per week and have decided to slowly transition to maintenance. I plan to leave it at 1.5 lbs. per week for 3-4 months and then bump it to 1 lb. per week for 3-4 months. Then I want to set it at 0.5 lb. per week and leave it there for a while. Another thing that has helped is I don’t avoid foods I love, I have learned to eat it and log it. That was another thing that hurt me in the past. I would avoid all the foods I loved, which would only lead to losing my mind and binging. The main thing is to do what works for you. Set little goals and reward yourself when you achieve them. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Believe in yourself. There are a ton of “experts” on here that know what YOU should do. But everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for you. That being said, some of the “experts” on here and can offer really great advice. Best of luck to you!!0
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Kind of disagree on your interpretation or rather its individual what we focus on, bt agree its very very important. things dont happen by accident really, so focus is key for me in keeping me at my most efficient on the task at hand. Whether thats running away from bad things or being drive towards goods things isnt what I focus on. I do focus on my next set of weights or surviving my cardio burn, focus is at the heart of all my decision making.
You talk about never believeing you could do it, in contrast there was a recent survey on how many times people had tried to lose and a large number were once only. Perhaps they never believed they would fail?0 -
Heck yes, positive thinking has played a HUGE role in my weight loss. I've been a yo-yo dieter for years, because I always had a crappy perspective. I would diet because I hated the way I looked, and even when I was thin I wanted to be thinner. I was always punishing myself for weakness.
Somewhere along the way I figured out that I was enough just as I was. Being healthy is an act of self-love, not self-loathing. I realized that I deserved to be healthy. I still have that negative voice in my head that focuses on that bit of cellulite on the back of my thighs, or thinks I look fat in that picture, but I'm getting better at stepping back and admiring my progress. There is no finish line. You just have to love the journey.0 -
I've been successful when, instead of seeing myself as a person in a life-long battle with food and my weight, I *see* myself as the thin person inside, and behave like that person. Otherwise, I am always fighting the fat person who rationalizes just one more bite of this or that--which the thin person wouldn't eat in the first place.
It seems simplistic, and it's not easy to break the habits of a lifetime. But. It does help when I remember to do it.
(I'm struggling right now but that's a long story)
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