I have a deadline for getting my BED under control. Help?

IceCreamNebula
IceCreamNebula Posts: 3 Member
in Motivation and Support
My doctor diagnosed me with BED last year, but I've always been a binge eater, they keep getting bigger and more frequent and I have put on 20lbs this year alone, it's disgusting.

Today I am 22, 5'6, and 257lbs.

I'm taking a trip to New York (never been to America before) in September to meet up with a friend and see the sights, it's my first time abroad without a teacher or a parent, and I think this would be a good time to get my weight under control.

My friend knows that I'm fat, it doesn't bother her, or at least it only bothers her because it bothers me, she isn't expecting me to be skinny but I want her to see that I at least made an effort. There will also be a lot of walking and photos, and nobody likes to do either of those while morbidly obese...

I just feel like I never want to eat food again because I can't be trusted not to binge. It really is one of the only things that makes me feel relaxed and satisfied, for a short time.

I don't really know what I'm asking for, resources maybe? Experiences? Just help.

Replies

  • staciejunruh
    staciejunruh Posts: 10 Member
    Don't really have advise for you but I wish you courage!!! You CAN do it!!:)
  • MonsoonStorm
    MonsoonStorm Posts: 371 Member
    Have you been getting help with the ED? Are you seeing a counselor? You need to figure out why you are binging, and also what triggers it.
  • JoKessho
    JoKessho Posts: 108 Member
    edited June 2015
    See if you can get your hands on a book called "Brain over binge" by Kathryn Hansen. It's great! She also has a blog: http://brainoverbinge.com/
    Also, check out http://www.bulimiahelp.org/posts/ The main focus is bulimia, but there's an aspect of binge-eating, too.

    I also suffered from binge-eating and I've recovered now. I also keep myself busy by colouring (I bought a childer's colouring book and work on that so that I don't boredom-eat).

    Feel free to PM and friend me, if you need more help/tips.

    Edit: Do not set a deadline for yourself.
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
    You need to work with a specialist. Counselour, therapist, psychiatrist, whatever it is called where you live. Good luck.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    You should be seeking professional help. MFP can only provide you with logging/fitness tools. And us forum users are not really qualified to help you. You can look into finding a BED group, but people can only give you their personal experiences, which may not even work for you. As I understand it, ED's take a long time to overcome. I wouldn't expect to have it under control in just a few month's time, so I think you should readjust your expectations on that. Seek some professional help, go on your trip and enjoy yourself regardless of photos and then go back home and continue to seek that help.
  • HamsterManV2
    HamsterManV2 Posts: 449 Member
    Get professional help.

    It's a mental issue that needs to be addressed. To not get treatment is similar to having a broken arm and hope it goes away instead of going to the hospital - that will not work. I think the best success rate for this was having a "team" of people - psychiatrist, nutritionist, ED specialist, etc. working together with you. It's not a will power issue but a mental health issue that surfaces through BED - go get the help you need.

    ""While there are many things you can do to help yourself stop binge eating, it’s also important to seek professional support and treatment. Health professionals who offer treatment for binge eating disorder include psychiatrists, nutritionists, therapists, and eating disorder and obesity specialists.

    An effective treatment program for binge eating disorder should address more than just your symptoms and destructive eating habits. It should also address the root causes of the problem—the emotional triggers that lead to binge eating and your difficulty coping with stress, anxiety, fear, sadness, and other uncomfortable emotions.

    If obesity is endangering your health, weight loss may also be an important goal. However, dieting can contribute to binge eating, so any weight loss efforts should be carefully monitored by a professional."
  • nineteentwenty
    nineteentwenty Posts: 469 Member
    BED is a problem of the mind, not the body :c Please seek professional help. Once your mind is at ease, you'll find it much easier to drop weight than to try and power through a mental disorder.
  • slaite1
    slaite1 Posts: 1,307 Member
    Definitely see a counselor. Their are therapeutic interventions and medicine options that may help. In the meantime, why not focus on self help and exercise? If you're going to New York their will be A LOT of walking, so start walking now! Even if you're overweight you can still increase your endurance and hopefully keep up with your friend. It would be a shame to miss out on Central Park or sightseeing bc you can't walk that far.

    A big part of BED is the perfectionist attitude you expressed in your post. Stop focusing on weight loss or what your friend will think. She's your friend, she does not care if you are fat.

    Get moving to improve your quality of life and to enjoy your vacation. Get professional help and be proactive in your care. Learn how to relax and focus on all the fun you will have. Maybe read some nutrition books and books on anxiety. Small steps
  • taliarosseelmfp
    taliarosseelmfp Posts: 2 Member
    I totally understand where you're coming from, wanting to set a deadline. I've been there before. You have to take it one day at a time. Anyone who binges knows the "tomorrow I'll stop for good" promise that we all make to ourselves... but "tomorrow" never comes. You have to try EVERY DAY to not act on the urges. Start right now. Brain Over Binge is my BIBLE. You should definitely check it out!
  • missebbycou
    missebbycou Posts: 10 Member
    edited June 2015
    Read the book, Brain over Binge and learn to meditate. There are awesome guided meditations on youtube to teach you how to get into it. Find new hobbies that busy your hands that aren't food related that you can do when the urge comes, like sewing, knitting, crafting, etc. Find a community. Don't suffer alone. It's time to pick up, forgive yourself and move on to become YOUR greater vision of you. Realize that you help yourself by helping others too. You can do this.
  • monjacq1964
    monjacq1964 Posts: 291 Member
    Your weight, your eating disorder, don't know what a calendar is. It does not understand the artificial guidelines that you set for yourself. They don't know who your friend is, what America is, and why you need to do this thing by that date. They know none of that.

    You cannot lose weight for your friend, you cannot control your ED for external reasons. It needs to come from inside of you.

    You're young, you're beautiful, you're worth taking care of.

  • discretekim
    discretekim Posts: 314 Member
    Hey good luck. Eating disorders are tough. And I agree they require a multi faceted approach. For binging I find not having those bingey foods around helps. It depends on you though sometimes I just want something and I try not to deny myself too often or I crave it more usually.
  • msfoxy_25
    msfoxy_25 Posts: 40 Member
    JoKessho wrote: »
    See if you can get your hands on a book called "Brain over binge" by Kathryn Hansen. It's great! She also has a blog: http://brainoverbinge.com/
    Also, check out http://www.bulimiahelp.org/posts/ The main focus is bulimia, but there's an aspect of binge-eating, too.

    I also suffered from binge-eating and I've recovered now. I also keep myself busy by colouring (I bought a childer's colouring book and work on that so that I don't boredom-eat).

    Feel free to PM and friend me, if you need more help/tips.

    Edit: Do not set a deadline for yourself.

    I have brain over binge, good book! Distractions are key when trying to overcome binge eating. It's important to have a routine as well. Plan set meal times and do NOT eat outside of those times. I know this is WAY easier said than done. Keep telling yourself "I can have that later, I just ate X hours ago. My next meal is at X, I can have what i'm craving (in moderation) then." Eating slow, drinking between bites, chewing well are all important. Try to make each meal last 20 minutes. It helps me to sit at the table for a little after so i don't get up and eat more. put away leftover as soon as you feel it's safe (aka your not going to binge on them).

    Hot tea at night helps me with night eating (something I'm currently working on). If you "mess up" Don't throw the day away and binge. Stop, assess where you are at and move on. Do NOT punish yourself with Purging, Over Exercising or restricting. Self hate talk is NOT ok. We all make mistakes and you will mess up multiple times. Get up and try again. It's not over till you stop trying.

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