Rewarding yourself...Good or Bad!?!

As a mother of two teenagers, I never seem to spoil myself with anything. Seriously, at one point when my kids outgrew their shoes, I would take them for myself...that is until I can no longer fit into them. (15 y/o is 6'1" and 12 y/o 5'8"...Momma is 5'5") So I have had the same tennis shoe for 2 years.
So I turn to you, and ask...
Do you reward yourself if you lose a certain amount of weight by a certain date, and if so what are some rewards you may choose?
I have some thoughts but, let's not lie...I want reassurance that I am not taking away from my kids and that it's okay to be selfish to an extent...
Examples
#1 - Weigh xx amount by Anniversary (9/20/15), get a new outfit with shoes and go out to dinner with husband.
#2 - Weight xx amount by Halloween weekend (10/31-11/1), have a weekend get away...either Girls Get Away or just by myself (Not many of my Momma friends are able to do it, but it's just a thought).

Please help a Mother out who will talk herself out of anything...
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Replies

  • Timelordlady85
    Timelordlady85 Posts: 797 Member
    All my rewards are on my profile, but I do reward myself, my kids are too small to share shoes with them, plus I work so I have nice,comfy shoes to wear. A few of my past rewards have been a fitness watch, new clothes, weights for working out with, new shoes, getting my hair done at the salon. etc.
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    edited August 2015
    I am a huge advocate for moms being good to themselves. I want my kids to be proud of me and I believe they are more proud of someone who takes time and pride in themselves. I would not want my daughter to sacrifice her happiness for her kids. My kids have always seen me go to the gym (time away from them) and if anything they have learned to eat right, exercise and make their health a priority.
    I know moms who never do anything for themselves. I think that is sad and unnecessary. (and I think some are playing the martyr) I know I'm a good momm and would drop everything if my kids needed me but it doesn't mean I shouldn't take care of myself, physically and mentally.
    Rewards are part of taking care of yourself. It could be getting your hair done, girls weekend, or out to dinner and I say go for it. I think my kids have more respect for me for doing these things. :)

    edited to add you definitely have my reassurance that you are not taking away from them, you are giving them a gift as well. The gift of a happy mommy
  • MondayJune22nd2015
    MondayJune22nd2015 Posts: 876 Member
    You're human, having children & a husband, doesn't have to be the only joy of your life; just your priority. As long as they have what they need from you & enough wants to be comfortable (as in living, not just existing), then anything leftover is yours. Enjoy your own life too, not just theirs.
  • UnbreakableVow
    UnbreakableVow Posts: 1 Member
    I'm not a mother myself, but from having one who never treated herself, who always put myself and my sisters first, it made me feel extremely guilty. I struggle with a guilt complex when I obtain stuff myself. So please, treat yourself. You are not taking anything away from them by being good to you.
  • sheermomentum
    sheermomentum Posts: 827 Member
    If you can afford it, then buy yourself a new pair of shoes right now, to exercise in. :) And then periodically buy yourself things that you can afford because you want them. I don't think you have to justify it as a reward for anything. Better health is its own reward. P.S. I really love your profile pic.
  • mousie1973
    mousie1973 Posts: 438 Member
    You're human, having children & a husband, doesn't have to be the only joy of your life; just your priority. As long as they have what they need from you & enough wants to be comfortable (as in living, not just existing), then anything leftover is yours. Enjoy your own life too, not just theirs.

    THIS!! Oh so much this!!!! Yes you should definitely reward yourself! You are doing this for you and you alone and that is something that is very reward worthy!!
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    I reward myself with a small steak dinner at a local chain when I log for 30 days in a row. Actually, I bribe myself, but it works out the same. XD

    If planning a reward for certain milestones works for you, then I say do it. Pick your reward, write it down and stick it on your fridge. Or mirror, or something you'll see every day.
  • Miners4Life
    Miners4Life Posts: 5 Member
    Thank you all for your thoughts...I truly appreciate them all. Please don't get me wrong, if I need it...I get it. It's the extras I am unlikely to get for myself. I won't go out to eat because I would rather have home cooked meals as a family. Once again thank you all...
  • TnTWalter
    TnTWalter Posts: 345 Member
    yes! manicure, new clothes, new workout stuff, a movie, whatever price and item you decide you want.
  • 50andfabu
    50andfabu Posts: 112 Member
    It is important for your children that you model generosity, selflessness AND how to take care of yourself, nurture yourself, and treat yourself. You teach people how to treat you (this includes your children). Your children have to see you taking care of yourself so they know that it's ok for them to take care of themselves (and not expect you to do it for them all the time!)

    Rewards don't have to be expensive or food-related. It can just be time for yourself. But you certainly do deserve new tennis shoes if you want them.

  • Mellieanne1019
    Mellieanne1019 Posts: 59 Member
    absolutely! rewarding is so so important. you need to live life also and enjoy the ride!
  • RoadtotheRAN
    RoadtotheRAN Posts: 55 Member
    I think that rewards are great as long as you don't use food as your reward. "Your not a dog and you don't need to reward yourself with food" One of mates told me this quote once and I laughed when I heard it because it is so true!
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    I do not reward myself for meeting goals because I believe that I deserve to take good care of myself anyway. I work hard for my money and I deserve to spend some of it on myself, regardless of anything else going on in my life. As for children, unless they are not getting enough food or other necessities, everyone in the household should share the resources and have some discretionary spending.
  • Losinandmovin
    Losinandmovin Posts: 188 Member
    50andfabu wrote: »
    It is important for your children that you model generosity, selflessness AND how to take care of yourself, nurture yourself, and treat yourself. You teach people how to treat you (this includes your children). Your children have to see you taking care of yourself so they know that it's ok for them to take care of themselves (and not expect you to do it for them all the time!)

    Rewards don't have to be expensive or food-related. It can just be time for yourself. But you certainly do deserve new tennis shoes if you want them.

    Yes!! You matter. Your children are always going to be the priority, but remember, you doing things for yourself is necessary for motivation. Little things like cute socks, jewelery, music for your workouts, a nice top, or a pair of workout shorts.... Anything to make you smile, and remind yourself that ultimately, Wellness has to be for you. You're better for your family when you take care of yourself.
  • ncfitbit
    ncfitbit Posts: 1,058 Member
    I used to set up these elaborate schemes for "rewards" for losing a certain amount of weight, but they never seemed to work for some reason. Maybe because they were too few and far between and if I was having trouble getting motivated a bracelet or whatever was never enough to change my behavior. If I were to do that now I might focus on logging or something else like "hitting complete" at the end of the day, but just seeing how many days I've logged is fairly motivating so I haven't felt the need.

    I do reward myself with new fitness stuff things for achieving certain fitness goals now because that stuff adds up and is often not strictly necessary (except for good running shoes, though, I think those are essential so I buy those without any guilt or needing to earn them first).

    What is the most motivating for me and has worked better than any other reward systems I've used is seeing my ticker move here on MFP! Nothing beats that, in my opinion, and it's totally free!
  • EmmaFitzwilliam
    EmmaFitzwilliam Posts: 482 Member
    I reward myself when I hit a "0" (every 10 pounds lost). For a while I was rewarding myself on the 5s as well but I've been at or above my latest 5 for 10 weeks without making it down to the next 0. I don't have deadlines for my rewards. Just 3 days' weigh-in at xx5.0 or below (or xx0.0). Weight loss is not linear. I went 10 weeks at (###) (or above!) - then dropped 5 pounds in 10 days.

    I am a firm believer in "carrots" and rewards - I'm lucky; my housemate, who is also on MFP, bought several inexpensive presents to surprise me with for each 5/0.

    For bigger things, I'm planning to have a blowout party with my friends once I hit my target, but it will happen when it happens. I'm not going to stress or pressure myself by setting a "due date".
  • missomgitsica
    missomgitsica Posts: 496 Member
    Yes, definitely, absolutely reward yourself.
  • Caroledeegee
    Caroledeegee Posts: 36 Member
    If you don't look after yourself (in every way) how can you look after someone else. You ABSOLUTELY should give yourself non food treats, and not just for hitting your weight loss goals. In the back of your mind, if you think you are depriving someone else of something by doing something for you, you could end up unconsciously self sabotaging your weight loss and fitness goals.

    As L'Oreal say 'Because I'm worth it' and who are we to argue. Look after number 1.

    Best of luck with your goals. Feel free to add me if you want a regular dose of tough love :)
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
    I reward myself when I hit a "0" (every 10 pounds lost). For a while I was rewarding myself on the 5s as well but I've been at or above my latest 5 for 10 weeks without making it down to the next 0. I don't have deadlines for my rewards. Just 3 days' weigh-in at xx5.0 or below (or xx0.0). Weight loss is not linear. I went 10 weeks at (###) (or above!) - then dropped 5 pounds in 10 days.

    I am a firm believer in "carrots" and rewards - I'm lucky; my housemate, who is also on MFP, bought several inexpensive presents to surprise me with for each 5/0.

    For bigger things, I'm planning to have a blowout party with my friends once I hit my target, but it will happen when it happens. I'm not going to stress or pressure myself by setting a "due date".

    This just warms my heart. You're indeed lucky! I hope you have a blast all the way to your goal and beyond :)

  • BroscienceTheory
    BroscienceTheory Posts: 24 Member
    As long as you don't do it the way I do it by giving myself a reward if I have room everyday. But, I do it, because I actually don't want to lose my remaining weight too quick.