What do you reply...
Replies
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I use tiered responses. The first answer is calorie restriction and exercise. If they want more answers I tell them MFP. If they want details and I have the time I give them actual instructions. But it all depends on their response.0
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Right.. I joined mfp four years ago.
I had no idea about TDEE. Set my goal at 1200 calories and found I couldn't do it and gave up.
At that time I should of been eating 1700 calories.
A friend who kept saying are you going to do this your whole life?? Your not in your 20s anymore. Noone cares what you look like. Eat what you want, life is too short. You look good!! Went on about her mom and calorie counting at 70. She still worrys about her weight and how her life is not gonna be that way. I was derailed. Now I tell her nothing. Shes in another state and im meeting up with her at Christmas. Cant wait to see the look on her face when she asks what I did to lose weight.
C:[/quote]
I think your friend is definitely projecting her own internal dialogue onto you. She probably feels insecure about her own life choices and is trying to justify them this way.
I am guessing that she is insecure about her choices and would probably feel better if those closes to her did the same as her -- for a sense of validation or something.
So know that her words are not really about *you*, but about her own struggles.
I also find it is best to keep those type of people on a "need to know" basis.0 -
beachhouse758 wrote: »
Right.. I joined mfp four years ago.
I had no idea about TDEE. Set my goal at 1200 calories and found I couldn't do it and gave up.
At that time I should of been eating 1700 calories.
A friend who kept saying are you going to do this your whole life?? Your not in your 20s anymore. Noone cares what you look like. Eat what you want, life is too short. You look good!! Went on about her mom and calorie counting at 70. She still worrys about her weight and how her life is not gonna be that way. I was derailed. Now I tell her nothing. Shes in another state and im meeting up with her at Christmas. Cant wait to see the look on her face when she asks what I did to lose weight.
C:[/quote]
I think your friend is definitely projecting her own internal dialogue onto you. She probably feels insecure about her own life choices and is trying to justify them this way.
I am guessing that she is insecure about her choices and would probably feel better if those closes to her did the same as her -- for a sense of validation or something.
So know that her words are not really about *you*, but about her own struggles.
I also find it is best to keep those type of people on a "need to know" basis. [/quote]
Right..We used to diet together. When I was ready or thought I was..she wasnt and really didnt want me to. Thats why this time I kept it to myself. Besides I know now I dont need to have her in my own journey.
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It's not your duty to convince them that what you're doing is working.0
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It's not your duty to convince them that what you're doing is working.
No, it isn't. However we have been close friends for 35 years. We influence off of each other when it comes to dieting. When I restarted MFP in July I decided I dont need to bring her with me nor do I need her influence on my own journey.0 -
xX_PhoenixRising_Xx wrote: »I tell them diet and exercise. It's kind of hard to argue with me when I've lost 156 lbs. Although I think there are a few out there that don't believe I did it without surgery.
For the eye-rollers (there are still some, and the ones who "can't be bothered") I tell them they're right, it was actually magical pixie dust. The one harvested from the first morning dew drops of a 4-leaf clover found in only a far-flung corner of Ireland on the morning after a blue moon, mixed with the shavings of the horn of the rare purple unicorn, at the precise moment that a thousand babies laugh for the first time (in harmony). I have a secret stash of it. If the government ever finds out about my secret weight loss miracle dust I'm done for...
Hilarious!!
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I tell them that I use MFP to count calories and exercise more. If they roll their eyes, or whatever, I tell them that it works and say that I guess you really don't want to lose weight. That usually shuts them up.0
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DeguelloTex wrote: »"Eat less, move more."
For the most part, that's the end of it. People seem to lose interest when I didn't lose weight because of a magical, effortless pill, shake, juice, or way of eating.
This ^0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »"Eat less, move more."
For the most part, that's the end of it. People seem to lose interest when I didn't lose weight because of a magical, effortless pill, shake, juice, or way of eating.
This is exactly what I say and people never pursue it.0 -
firststepformefal wrote: »I tell them that I use MFP to count calories and exercise more. If they roll their eyes, or whatever, I tell them that it works and say that I guess you really don't want to lose weight. That usually shuts them up.
Ha! Excellent.
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..to people that ask you how you lost weight?
When I tell them by calorie counting/logging, they roll their eyes and say that it's insane and that it's not normal to weight every single ingredient.
Then they continue to discredit the proccess with everyone around supporting them(9 out of 10times)..
It's frustrating to say the least!
Well, to be fair, it ISN'T normal for the majority of the world's population, to weigh every morsel of food they eat. And yet, they manage to maintain healthy weight. Logging and weighing food is only done by those who've lost control of their intake and need a process to manage it all.
Just because you have to do it and it works for you, doesn't change the fact that it's odd to most other people. There's no reason to be frustrated by their perfectly normal reaction.0 -
Traveler120 wrote: »..to people that ask you how you lost weight?
When I tell them by calorie counting/logging, they roll their eyes and say that it's insane and that it's not normal to weight every single ingredient.
Then they continue to discredit the proccess with everyone around supporting them(9 out of 10times)..
It's frustrating to say the least!
Well, to be fair, it ISN'T normal for the majority of the world's population, to weigh every morsel of food they eat. And yet, they manage to maintain healthy weight. Logging and weighing food is only done by those who've lost control of their intake and need a process to manage it all.
Just because you have to do it and it works for you, doesn't change the fact that it's odd to most other people. There's no reason to be frustrated by their perfectly normal reaction.
I fail to see how just because something isn't common, is translated right away to be wrong and a sickly attitude.
I don't HAVE to do it, as you noted, I chose to do so because it is the most accurate way to know if my intake was too high or too low for the day.
I've been in their shoes before but my attitude back then was, "Omg i could never do that, kudos to you!"
So being an odd thing to them doesn't really make up for the way some people react.0 -
Traveler120 wrote: »..to people that ask you how you lost weight?
When I tell them by calorie counting/logging, they roll their eyes and say that it's insane and that it's not normal to weight every single ingredient.
Then they continue to discredit the proccess with everyone around supporting them(9 out of 10times)..
It's frustrating to say the least!
Well, to be fair, it ISN'T normal for the majority of the world's population, to weigh every morsel of food they eat. And yet, they manage to maintain healthy weight. Logging and weighing food is only done by those who've lost control of their intake and need a process to manage it all.
Just because you have to do it and it works for you, doesn't change the fact that it's odd to most other people. There's no reason to be frustrated by their perfectly normal reaction.
The majority of the US (over 50%) is either overweight or obese. So no, the majority don't weigh their food, but they don't manage to maintain a healthy weight either. If we expand to the world, 39% of adults are overweight or obese.
And no, you don't actually have to weigh your food to lose weight. Just a log is enough for many people as it keeps them conscious of their food intake even if they are off by a large percentage. However, weighing your food allows you to lose weight at the most healthy and efficient rate possible.0 -
I haven't loss enough weight for people to ask me this YET, but I noticed two things in all of these responses.
1. Most people really want you to say magic fairy dust (insert quick weight-loss method here) is how you lose weight,
2. When I was on WW a lonnnnng time ago, and people asked what I did to lose weight, and I'd say, "I'm on Weight Watchers", they'd all say "Ohhh" (sometimes with a sign included). It's as if they were disappointed (counting points, counting calories = similar concept).0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »"Eat less, move more."
For the most part, that's the end of it. People seem to lose interest when I didn't lose weight because of a magical, effortless pill, shake, juice, or way of eating.
This. Pretty much exactly this.
99% of the time I get the eye roll. Then a week later they ask me again, and that's when the snark comes out such as "copious amounts of coffee that's gone through the digestive system of a rare african cat". They never ask again.0 -
I don't have your specific problem since I weigh or log very little of what I eat, but when asked how I lost weight I tell them - eat less and exercise regularly.
If they want more specifics, I give them, but since I'm not really doing anything that has a name or webpage or set rules I usually just get a disappointed "Oh."0 -
I just say "cut calories, eat right, work out."0
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... or sometimes when I'm really crabby, I make my eyes dead and flat and say "starvation." :P0
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Ate less, worked out!0
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Ugh. I know quite a few people with that response. I once told someone who kept asking what I did that I joined MFP and counted calories. They said they would go crazy weighing food and counting calories. My reply was that I was "going crazy" because my scale was heading toward 300s and now it's heading toward the 100s. That shut them up real quick.0
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"diet and exercise".. it's the most boring possible ever and thus does not inspire any follow-up questions
The nice thing about having lost weight slowly is that it is very unglamorous so no one wants to ask or hear about it.0 -
Traveler120 wrote: »..to people that ask you how you lost weight?
When I tell them by calorie counting/logging, they roll their eyes and say that it's insane and that it's not normal to weight every single ingredient.
Then they continue to discredit the proccess with everyone around supporting them (9 out of 10 times)..
It's frustrating to say the least!
Well, to be fair, it ISN'T normal for the majority of the world's population, to weigh every morsel of food they eat. And yet, they manage to maintain healthy weight. Logging and weighing food is only done by those who've lost control of their intake and need a process to manage it all.
Just because you have to do it and it works for you, doesn't change the fact that it's odd to most other people. There's no reason to be frustrated by their perfectly normal reaction.
I assumed the OP was being asked by people interested in losing weight themselves, as this is who mostly asked me at times when I had lost considerable amount of weight.
I may be reading too much into the OP, but I think the point was about considering fad diets normal, but not calorie counting.0 -
If I get the eye roll, I quote Cher ~ "If it came in a bottle everyone would have a great body." That usually quiets things down and gets the point across too.0
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kshama2001 wrote: »Traveler120 wrote: »..to people that ask you how you lost weight?
When I tell them by calorie counting/logging, they roll their eyes and say that it's insane and that it's not normal to weight every single ingredient.
Then they continue to discredit the proccess with everyone around supporting them (9 out of 10 times)..
It's frustrating to say the least!
Well, to be fair, it ISN'T normal for the majority of the world's population, to weigh every morsel of food they eat. And yet, they manage to maintain healthy weight. Logging and weighing food is only done by those who've lost control of their intake and need a process to manage it all.
Just because you have to do it and it works for you, doesn't change the fact that it's odd to most other people. There's no reason to be frustrated by their perfectly normal reaction.
I assumed the OP was being asked by people interested in losing weight themselves, as this is who mostly asked me at times when I had lost considerable amount of weight.
I may be reading too much into the OP, but I think the point was about considering fad diets normal, but not calorie counting.
This is also how I interpreted the post. But does it really matter? I am one of those people who found logging too burdensome. But I would never roll my eyes or tell someone doing it that it’s insane or not normal. Who cares what is “normal”?0 -
nordlead2005 wrote: »Traveler120 wrote: »..to people that ask you how you lost weight?
When I tell them by calorie counting/logging, they roll their eyes and say that it's insane and that it's not normal to weight every single ingredient.
Then they continue to discredit the proccess with everyone around supporting them(9 out of 10times)..
It's frustrating to say the least!
Well, to be fair, it ISN'T normal for the majority of the world's population, to weigh every morsel of food they eat. And yet, they manage to maintain healthy weight. Logging and weighing food is only done by those who've lost control of their intake and need a process to manage it all.
Just because you have to do it and it works for you, doesn't change the fact that it's odd to most other people. There's no reason to be frustrated by their perfectly normal reaction.
The majority of the US (over 50%) is either overweight or obese. So no, the majority don't weigh their food, but they don't manage to maintain a healthy weight either. If we expand to the world, 39% of adults are overweight or obese.
And no, you don't actually have to weigh your food to lose weight. Just a log is enough for many people as it keeps them conscious of their food intake even if they are off by a large percentage. However, weighing your food allows you to lose weight at the most healthy and efficient rate possible.
What evidence is there to support these statements? Especially the last one.0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »"Eat less, move more."
For the most part, that's the end of it. People seem to lose interest when I didn't lose weight because of a magical, effortless pill, shake, juice, or way of eating.
This is basically what I say too... If people are really interested and looking for help, they usually ask more questions and want more details, and I give those when asked... I haven't actually had anyone argue with me or say anything negative because, well, the "proof is in the pudding." Obviously it works, because I'm not fat anymore.0 -
Well the conv went like this(Person B is male, morb obese and person A is female in normal weight range, which at some point needed to losr weight) :kshama2001 wrote: »
I assumed the OP was being asked by people interested in losing weight themselves, as this is who mostly asked me at times when I had lost considerable amount of weight.
I may be reading too much into the OP, but I think the point was about considering fad diets normal, but not calorie counting.
Person A: Oh you lost weight, how much did you lose??
Me: X kgs
Person A: How did you lose it?
Me: I just paid attention to what I was eating mostly and then hit the gym at some point.
Person B: Oh ask her how she did it! She weighted everything.!
(And from there the conv started going places)
Person A: What do you mean? Did a dietician gave you a specific meal plan?
Me: No I counted calories myself.
Person B: She weights every single bite that goes into her mouth!
Person A: When I wanted to lose 10 kg I went to a dietician she gave me a meal plan and I lost them. What do you mean you count your calories?
Me: (Person A owns a caffeteria so i gave an example of drinking a coffee even tho i don't ) For example you want to drink your evening coffee, you weight the sugar and the milk going in it and you log it, that adds up to your total allowtment for the day.
Person A: Omg that is not normal! That's a sickly behavior.
Person B: (In an ironic tone) I am going to come here to drink a coffee and I will tell you to weight my sugar.
(Laughs)
Me: Well that was just an example, you can guess how many calories by tspb or by eyeballing. Noone is forcing you to weight everything, but it's the most accurate and fast way to know. It doesn't take me more than 2min/day to weight the stuff I eat.
Person A: No no.. That's sickly attitude.
Person B: It is, isn't it? I am telling her the same.
Then they continued talking about it for the next 10minutes, "defending "their opinion while I just didn't bother anymore.
Still since that wasn't the first time having such a reaction I was thinking if I should change what to reply to those people hence why I created the topic...
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Poor Person A, who had to go to a dietitian for a plan that was not terribly accurate, and Person B, who is very invested in your method being "sickly" so he doesn't have to take responsibility for his morbid obesity...0
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They's a buncha jealous haters.
I usually don't mention counting calories or anything unless someone specifically asks me for help. Usually i just say "Oh, i'm on the diet where you dont eat so much and workout more". Most people go "oh...ha ha ha" *walks away*0 -
Not many people ask me. They do more and more coment on how good I am looking. The ones who do ask I tell the that I use a fitbit to track my energy output each day and MFP to track my calorie intake each day and try to eat less than I burn. I guess it helps that most of my friends are in scientific fields so to the this is just logical. The few who are not sometimes just non and smile and tell me that it is great that it is working for me. Some have used MFP in the past and some just are not interested or willing to make this sort of commitment. None of the people who know I am working on weight loss has yet been negative about it.
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