Please stop feeding my child junk!!
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Be blunt, your kid your rules. My MIL and Mom are horrible for trying to give my daughter junk (even pop, we dont even drink pop let alone let my two year old drink it.) They sometimes get offended when I tell them no or ask them to take it back. My daughter throws a fit sometimes when they offer her a chocolate bar and I tell them and her no. But at the end of the day, its my job to make sure she eats well and ends up with a healthy relationship with food.
(We do eat some junk food but she gets little amounts and not often. Balance)2 -
I worked for a bit. I was fortunate enough that the company had an on-site childcare center modeled after Bright Horizons. Beyond bottles all the food was provided in the cost. I don't know if they would have allowed me to bring food. Never felt the need to ask. Nothing to complain about with the food served. You'd receive a detailed journal of the day including what your child ate or didn't eat.
The downside is the cost. It's big bucks!! My husband used to ask if the kids were eating off gold plates.
There has to be centers that operate the same way as Bright Horizons.1 -
Some people in here make it sound like children are some kind of property that you can just 100% decide what to do with. They're living, breathing beings and you have responsibility over them, as does anyone else who comes in contact with them to an extent. Being a parent doesn't magically impart in you the ability to know what is best for them, despite some people thinking it does. Don't just ignore other's suggestions outright.
I got raised by my grandparents better than my parents would have ever been able to, so some people's attitude in here is rubbing me the wrong way.5 -
stevencloser wrote: »Some people in here make it sound like children are some kind of property that you can just 100% decide what to do with. They're living, breathing beings and you have responsibility over them, as does anyone else who comes in contact with them to an extent. Being a parent doesn't magically impart in you the ability to know what is best for them, despite some people thinking it does. Don't just ignore other's suggestions outright.
I got raised by my grandparents better than my parents would have ever been able to, so some people's attitude in here is rubbing me the wrong way.
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Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.7 -
stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?0 -
ReaderGirl3 wrote: »All of my children are now adults. When they were little, I tried very hard to keep them on a healthy diet and to not eat junk. It is hard, it looks like your child is still very small. It gets harder...stick to your guns and try to always give them healthy options-they will get used to it and expect healthy options through out everything they do. There will ALWAYS be people who want to give your child an Oreo when you want them to have a multigrain bar-One way I got around that at class parties and day care etc. is to make a healthy option type cookie at home and bring it in for all of the kids..I.e. Carrot, oatmeal cookies-when all the other kids think that what YOUR child has is a special treat, they will want it too. Makes your child feel special that you want them to be healthy. Easter Baskets and stockings had exotic fruit and pricy protein bars that they didn't normally get. My children never felt deprived because they didn't get junk. They all still come home and want the food that I make for them-vegetables and all! ;-)
Most schools no longer allow homemade foods brought into classrooms (that will be shared ). Things must come in their original packages (we've been a part of several schools and that's been the rule at all of them).
I think that really depends on where you are. Here (BC, Canada), most schools do not have lunch programs. All food is brought from home, although there are strict no allergen rules and no sharing.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »I don't think it's inherently unhealthy (and didn't say it was) for a child not to eat an oreo when everyone else is, but it's a difficult situation for the caregiver and needs to be addressed if she's handing out oreos to all children but one. A very young child who hasn't been explained the reasons would likely feel like she's being treated differently BY THE CAREGIVER. That's a very different situation than one mom saying no when other moms say yes.
If I were the caregiver I'd certainly ask about it and want to make sure the mom explained it to the child if the answer was no (and I'd think that some moms would say that in that situation -- especially if rare, as with the oreo day another poster mentioned -- oh, yeah, one occasional oreo is fine).
Doesn't change the fact that waving or offering the oreo during the conversation is odd and inappropriate and would have bothered me, if it happened as described.
Francl's point that many pretend healthy treats like whole grain bars aren't much more nutritious than a cookie and may well have more sugar is true. But depends on the treat, maybe it's a super healthy homemade bar, of course.
I knew a woman that insisted her kids were healthier than mine because I handed mine a, wait for it... Oreo. I didn't ask but she went on and on about how she makes everything from scratch and substitutes honey or applesauce for sugar, etc. She also decried the evils of corn syrup.
She was 75 lbs heavier than me and both of her kids were overweight.
I big part of good health is weight, not just nutrient profiles of each individual food. If you meet your nutrition needs for the day, you don't get nutritional extra credit for having a nutrient dense snack vs a nutrient poor one.
But that woman disagreed, and her "extra credit" showed both on her and on her kids. She ended the tiraid with how her cinnamon pills that Dr. Oz recommended were going to cure her diabetes.
My only comment after listening to that golden nutritional advice was, "Interesting, I'll have to look into that," as I ate an Oreo.
Trying to convince her would have been preposterous. Her mind was made up and only righteous indignation would have been the result. I doubt the OP will be swayed either but maybe the undecided lurker will be.5 -
Sorry--long post coming LOL
I've witnessed both ends of the spectrum with parents and the way they feed their kids. The first one was my ex's nephew. Basically, since he was old enough to walk, he fed himself with whatever he could reach. I remember being at their house one morning to pick him up to babysit that day, and it was about maybe 6:30 in the morning. His mom woke him up, he came out of his room and grabbed a kool-aid pack out of the fridge and a pack of hostess cupcakes off the counter and then sat down at the table and ate them. He was maybe 3-4 at the time. I was young and don't remember what exactly I said or ended up doing, but I distinctly remember the hostess cupcakes and kool-aid self-served breakfast and was appalled. I wasn't even a mother yet and knew that wasn't right.
About a year later, he was about 6, he nearly died from malnutrition. I think he had something wrong with his brain, and I remember him having to be fed infant formula along with his meals by his grandmother. He had been hospitalized and sent home with those orders from his doctor. This all happened somewhere around 25 years ago. I know DSS was called and he was placed into care with his grandmother for a while but he developed severe learning disabilities from being so malnourished for so long.
On the other extreme, I met a woman here at the bus stop where my kids wait and at the time, she had just recently moved here from South Africa. She was an extreme version of the organic, no-GMO clean eating type.
She had two small kids, one in kindergarten, one too young for school. I remember that Halloween walking past their house and seeing them staring out the window, watching all the other kids. I asked her the following Monday why her kids didn't go out and I was expecting her to say that she doesn't celebrate Halloween or something, but her reasoning was that she did not want the kids having even a single piece of candy. I asked her if she allowed any treats at all at any time, like birthdays and she looked at me like I had three heads, like I was stupid for even suggesting such a thing. It's hard to explain but after talking with her a few times, I figured this was more than just a cultural thing. Folks in South Africa can't be that uptight.
She stopped coming out to our bus stop after about 3 weeks, and then some time after that, her kids were pulled out of school. She's since moved away and I've been told she went back to SA. She seemed nice enough at first, and I did learn about Rooibos tea from her. She was in great shape and ran every morning but she was paranoid through the roof about so many things, not just food. She was just disgusted with Americans in general, I think and how big corporations are just out to make everyone sick with the crap they put in the food. Her attitude was a little like you see here in some of the "evil sugar, toxins and chemicals!" posts from some people, but about 100x crazier and a hell of a lot more insulting. I love South Africa. I hope everyone else over there is a little less crazy than she is because I would love to visit one day. I hope her kids turn out with a healthier view of food because she was way more than obsessive compulsive about it.
I guess my point in all this rambling is that, as a parent of old and young kids, I find it best to be somewhere in the middle when it comes to food, and it really sounds like the OP is in a much better place Crazy Lady from South Africa.0 -
stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?
I am not sure it matters. His comments are right. Kids need to be exposed to different perspectives. Parents can't provide all perspectives. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, my friends, teachers, coaches, strangers and many others have made contributions in some way.4 -
extra_medium wrote: »I know that if everyone in my kids' class was having a cupcake and my kids were offered a granola bar instead all the time, they'd end up with a pretty screwed up relationship with food (and of themselves too, wondering what must be wrong with them that they can't eat like everyone else).
very well put
this is great. Kids are very receptive to being "left out" or being the "odd one out". Wether they understand being a kid is very much about finding your place making friends and fitting in. When i was kid i was exposed to both "junk" and "healthy" food. I ate a good balance of both. I was never restricted because i was taught to have a healthy realtionship with food and understand how important "healthy" stuff was. When at home snacking sometimes i had some chips sometimes i had fruit sometimes i had carrots and ranch. All my choice. I wasnt a one in a million special snowflake that magically made good decisions. I was treated like a human that could make my own food choices (when my mom wasnt cooking) this was from 6-on. I was also a super picky eater when i was a kid. Did love fruits and veggies just not a long list. My mom also was pretty big on portion control and not over eating. I was always a competitive swimmer and actually when outside and played everyday.... which to me seems more like the issue with the youth then an oreo. No more junk 20 years ago when i was kid then now. .... I also havent found many granola bars that are any healthier then an oreo. Maybe a bit more protein and fiber but like.. barley.1 -
stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?
I'm someone's child and old enough to realize which parts of the parenting I received were good and which ones were questionable.4 -
ITT I learned that where a food is made is the most relevant indicator of its nutritional quality.0
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stevencloser wrote: »stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?
I'm someone's child and old enough to realize which parts of the parenting I received were good and which ones were questionable.
Sorry but until you have a child, you have no idea what you're talking about. And of course, I am biased as well and I realize that...2 -
stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?
I am not sure it matters. His comments are right. Kids need to be exposed to different perspectives. Parents can't provide all perspectives. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, my friends, teachers, coaches, strangers and many others have made contributions in some way.3 -
Childless people are experts at parenting, didn't you know?1
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Generally provided good nutrition for the family but let the kids decide when going to a party etc.
After one party of excess promply chucked up from the gorging of sugar, chocolate etc
A valuable lesson thats not forgotten!0 -
stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?
I am not sure it matters. His comments are right. Kids need to be exposed to different perspectives. Parents can't provide all perspectives. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, my friends, teachers, coaches, strangers and many others have made contributions in some way.
As a father of two I'm having trouble connecting love and stess to discounting the perspectives of family members and the rest of society.6 -
god, parents love complaining about non-breeders offering advice3
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