Boyfriend wants to gain weight while I want to lose it...suggestions?

I'm not in the same boat, but a similar one. I'm pretty close to my goal weight and I've decided to go into maintenance for the summer for a better chance to meet some athletic goals and to build muscle; my girlfriend is still trying to lose some stubborn weight.

We mostly eat low calorie stuff for our meals together. And then I snack (healthily). I make smoothies with raspberries, protein powder, milk or half and half, and peanut butter, which are calorie bombs. I feel more satisfied with one after a light dinner, and they don't affect Beth. So far it's been working pretty well for us.

My husband and I have been together 20+ years. We eat the same thing, he just has bigger portion sizes. Unless its Mexican food, then its game on for me. But seriously, there is no food you need to eliminate or not eat, just eat within your calorie goal and he eats within his.

ETA: When we were younger and in college I bought a bunch of cookbooks (before the Internet ). I learned to cook and so glad I did. Now I love to cook. We eat 95% of our meals at home, so going out to eat is truly a treat. Maybe you could try cooking at home more. My favorite recipe websites now are Allrecipes.com and food.com. HTH!

Same here OP. I do the majority of the cooking. I make healthy meals and he eats more. He also has a cupboard full of calorically dense snacks. His intake is +/- 4000 calories a day and mine hovers around 1600.

mnbell2013 wrote: »

Thank you to everyone who actually contributed to this conversation. For everyone else, do you gain something by hiding behind a computer screen typing nasty comments? I thought this was about building each other up, not doing the opposite by asking if this is a "real" question. The world already has enough A-holes without you contributing to the problem.

This is the internet where you get all types of opinions. Google questions if you don't want that type of feedback.

mnbell2013 wrote: »

rybo wrote: »

Is this a real question?
Eat less than you do currently. Make better decisions when you go out. Try learning to cook new things, it's not rocket science

Seriously?
Of course it's a real question. Obviously you haven't been there. Be nice or get the hell out.

Not trying to be rude about it but it seems like a simple answer. Even if you do eat the same things every day, his portions should be bigger than yours if you're trying to lose and he's trying to gain. The recipes themselves don't really matter, it's just about how many calories each of you are consuming.

mnbell2013 wrote: »

My apologies if this topic has already been discussed to death, but I could use some advice. My boyfriend's dietary needs are polar opposite of mine, and it has made it nearly impossible for me to stay on track. I have around 40lbs to lose (the same 40 I gained after moving in with him last year). He, on the other hand, is 5'10" and around 130lbs. He needs to consume as many calories as he can, while I need to make cutbacks. We both work, I go to college part time, excuses excuses etc. Does anyone have any suggestions for recipes we can make that will help both of us? I hate to cook, so that's a task which has (unfairly) fallen on him. We eat out at least 5 nights a week, and this is definitely a habit we need to break.

Suggestions?

You say you hate to cook. What did you eat before you moved in together? 40 sounds like a lot to gain in one year if you're only change was moving in with somebody. Were you at all underweight to begin with? Or are there any of your old habits that you can revert to in order to start chipping away at this 40 pounds?

Ok I'm back, I just read your profile. It sounds like you completely changed your life to conform to him (unless I'm misreading something). So, I would still like to know- are your old habits an option (doing whatever you did in the past for breakfast and lunch and working out) and then coming to some type of compromise on dinner? From reading your profile, it looks like even taking control of breakfast and lunch and exercising portion control at any type of dinner that you eat together would move the needle in the right direction. For me personally, lots of times my husband and I eat exactly the same thing, but he gets 2-3 times as many carbs, 2 times as much protein, and 1/2 the vegetables/salad that I eat. That's how we work it out- best of luck! It looks like you've done this once, and you can do it again! You have less to lose this time.

ahley123456 wrote: »

I'm in the same boat. It's not as easy as many people on here act. I know your problem because he consumes an enormous amount of calories and junk food and he never gains weight! So all of these foods are in the house and I have to try to ignore them. It's really hard. Until I started this app I was consuming an immense amount of calories with him. Now that I'm aware it helps me. I do the majority of the grocery shopping and if I didn't come home with snacks he would hate it so I buy snacks that aren't tempting to me but that he likes. He also eats a lot late at night so I just give myself a cut off time and don't join him in the late night binges. At first it was hard but now I don't want to late at night because I have goals I want to achieve. Sometimes I'm envious that he can eat anything but I remind myself how good I will look if I don't. My father also has health issues and it is a good daily reminder for me to eat healthy and workout because life is short. Good luck with your journey. : )

Meal timing is irrelevant. Why not save some calories so you can have a snack with your mate?