Fat Shamed at Grocery Stores

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Replies

  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
    Neanbean13 wrote: »
    I may be 'fat' but hey, atleast I'm not a cashier! *smirk* walk away

    I love how people are taking offense to this. There's nothing wrong with cutting someone down to size when they insult you for no reason. Of course, that depends on the veracity of the OP's story.

    Overweight people versus cashiers, rumble in the check out, news at 11 . . .
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 427 Member
    fineporcelain01 wrote: »
    I was a cashier for a certain high profile mega discount store. The management knows that there are days that you are going to have bad customers, and I am not saying that she wasn't wrong because she was. 100 Percent. But with your very small shopping choices DONT let these little girls make you feel bad. You are better than that. One commenter said that you should use your phone and record all of your check out transactions. This is a very good idea, and you should do this. Not only for you to have leverage to chat with the manager, but you can also use it for your own motivation. If the manager sees it in real time or recorded then shown, the chances are better that he will do something. Remember, we are here to support you, to motivate you, but you have to stand up for yourself. After the first time, it will get easier for you to do. Log everything you eat, all of your exercises, drink lots of water. REMEMBER, IT DIDN'T GO ON OVERNIGHT AND IT WILL NOT COME OFF OVERNIGHT. Even if you don't see results as quick as you want, dont give up. It takes your body time to adjust and catch up with you. People put others down because there is something in their life that they dont like, so to make them feel better, they have to be mean to someone else. We are here for you. Just dont give up on yourself. Feel free to send me a friend request as I also need support and motivation.. YOU GOT THIS !!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!! YOU ARE A STRONG PERSON!!!

    do make sure you can do one party recording in your state though. IN some states it's illegal to record someone without their knowledge
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
    RainaProske wrote: »
    Oh, Honey.
    Neanbean13 wrote: »
    I may be 'fat' but hey, atleast I'm not a cashier! *smirk* walk away
    Really?

    One of my favorite jobs, when I was in my late 20s, was cashiering for Country Club Market in MPLS. There is not a thing wrong with that work. My first husband was a grocery store manager, but when he was killed, they offered me the job, and I jumped at it. Cashiering is a decent job.

    nothing wrong with cashiering. got me through my studies so didnt have to rely on my mum for money.
  • marmalade225
    marmalade225 Posts: 9 Member
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    marmalade225 wrote: »
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    Thank you all........I will admit that today I have been having junk food again (a whole large pizza) because I'm still really upset. I can barely get out of bed. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but it's really upsetting and I couldn't sleep until the early hours last night. A lot of you are saying I should tell the manager of the stores, but I don't want to get anyone fired :/

    Sorry, but this kind of behavior DESERVES shaming.

    You are in charge of your life, your emotions and your choices. Be a grown up and start taking some responsibility for what goes in your mouth.

    That's really rude /: She's an adult, not a child. Don't tell her she deserves to be shamed, geez. Yes, it's true, a person's decisions is theirs and theirs alone and we each are responsible for what we do. But sometimes when you are really down low, it's not so black and white and easy to see. Sometimes people just need to be reminded that they are in control of themselves. I'm sure you've had a time or two when you felt like crap and wanted to blame everything on the rest of the world. Hopefully you were lucky enough to have someone there to support you through rough times like such, and lucky enough not to have someone there telling you you SHOULD feel ashamed of yourself. I really don't think your harsh comments were necessary; you never know what state of mind a person is at. Just what I think, no offense intended towards anyone :)

    Using this as an excuse to let her emotions run wild and to binge eat IS acting like a child.

    It is certainly not the approach of a well-adjusted, normal grown up. The appropriate thing to do is to complain so that it doesn't happen to anyone else and then move on with your life and taking care of yourself.

    You are missing the point that you need to treat other human beings with respect. That is one of the most basic responsibilities you have. I'm going on a rant now, but people around here seem so rude, discouraging and disrespectful. I was hoping to encounter more compassionate and understanding people. I don't know if it's just the people I've been encountering or what, but man. The lack of empathy is seriously killing me, I can't stand to think that people really think and believe that they can act that way and treat people like that. But whatever, I'm just ranting :smile: don't mind me. And all of that was not directed at you specifically, I'm just crabby today and sick of people acting like children. I just don't think I'm going to be posting on these forums much. And by the way, the next time you feel like utter crap, imagine someone standing there yelling in your face that you should be ashamed of yourself and that you're nothing but a child. Please, just once, imagine it. OP, I hope you work things out and don't give up trying to be a healthier you.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
    You could respond by cancelling your purchase immediately and walking out of the store.
    You could ask to see the manager immediately or call/write a letter after you leave the store letting them know of the incidents. Let them know that you are being advised by employees not to buy products at their store as well as being personally insulted.
    You could tell your friends, family and neighbors who might shop there instead of internet strangers.
    You could blow it off and just go on with your life. Shop at the stores every week and learn to talk back if someone is rude to you like " Maybe you should get a different job where you aren't working with people. Retail seems to be a really bad fit for you."
    You could talk about your emotional eating with a therapist and work on developing new tools.

    I live in a small town with one grocery store. I would not avoid the store because of a rude, stupid cashier.
    Cashiers are people doing a job. Their job is to sell stuff not be hateful to customers due to size/skin color/gender/religion/poverty, make negative comments about the store's products, telling you their personal problems, or giving unsolicited advice to customers. If they aren't doing their job right you should give feedback to their boss. The boss decides if they get a reprimand, better training or get fired. If it isn't important enough to speak up then it isn't important enough to eat a whole pizza.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,646 Member
    Neanbean13 wrote: »
    I may be 'fat' but hey, atleast I'm not a cashier! *smirk* walk away

    Yeah, because 2 wrongs make a right. Smh
  • cmeranda79
    cmeranda79 Posts: 15 Member
    That's bonkers. How is that even helpful in any way? They're not trying to educate you or understand your situation; they're just spouting off because their job sucks and they need to vent.

    I have a few unusual physical attributes (scars, body shape) that people sometimes comment on. Occasionally people are so tone deaf it leaves me reeling. The response that has worked best for me is to become still and quiet (give them a Gandalf look, basically :) ), and then say casually, "Wow. Who says things like that?" And then just wait. It seems to hold up a mirror somehow.

    It sounds like you've got to make this work based on grocery store availability. Remember that you can't control what people say to you or how they act, only how you respond. If this is a big enough grocery store to have management that cares about customer service, I'd wait for someone to say something again and then warn them, "Please don't make derogatory comments about my weight." If they do it again, ask to speak to management or file a complaint with the chain. Treat it like any form of discrimination and know that speaking out might prevent someone else from experiencing the same thing.

    Here's the thing: you've made changes and you're making progress. Your first paragraph shows that YOU feel good about you. That's the thing to trust, not some random 3rd party with dubious motivations. Don't let other people set your boundaries for self-acceptance; it gives them too much power.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,325 Member
    edited July 2016
    I would have reported those cashier for their unprofessional comments - they do not belong working w the general public
  • LokiGrrl
    LokiGrrl Posts: 156 Member
    This kind of thing does happen. I've seen it in small towns, insular neighborhoods, churches, etc., but also there are some people who are just *kitten* and enjoy being mean for whatever reason - usually because they just like it, but even if there's another "legitimate" psychological reason or they're "just trying to help" or they're just letting their mouth overload their brain, I don't care. Doesn't make it right. And those people are here in my hometown (which is not small) and all over the world. People who tell me I need to get contacts or I'll never land a man, people who think I'm too old to wear Game of Thrones t-shirts and cutoff jeans, people who tell me my hair shouldn't be so long when I'm over 30, people who tell me to trade in my Docs for high heels, people who tell me my top is too sheer and they can see my bra (quelle horreure), and yes, people who inform me that I'm fat, as if I didn't know, and give me their unsolicited and unwanted advice (I've got bad teeth, and some people tell me that too WOW I WONDERED WHY MY MOUTH HURTS ALL THE TIME THANK YOU O WISE ONE). These people need to STFU, and sometimes I straight up tell them that. When I'm feeling more patient I give them the Long Look With Delayed Wow as another poster said above. When I'm in a situation where saying what I actually think would be inappropriate (like work, ha ha, or when it's one of my dad's friends or his nosy nosy next-door neighbor), I say, "Thanks, I'll think about that." Which I do. I think, "What a bunch of *kitten*," and then go on as before. I've even been known to put on my "mother" voice and inform people that my son had better manners at age 3.

    I kind of wonder if this happens more in Texas, where snark masquerades as concern on a regular basis and it's not uncommon to have long conversations with strangers, but I've never lived outside Texas, so don't really know.

    Ultimately these people are not important in your life. You've decided to get healthy and that's great, so if you fall down, pick yourself up and carry on as before. A whole large pizza is quite a lot, but it's not the end of the world.

    If you're trolling, or made up this story for attention or whatever (I really don't know), well, that's just sad, but I hope someone else will be helped by some of the suggestions here.
  • billglitch
    billglitch Posts: 538 Member
    for some reason people think its ok to comment or be rude or touch your belly and tell you that you are fat. A few years ago I was at the funeral for my sister, who had died from cancer. A woman that knew my family walked up to me in the funeral parlor, looked me up and down and said "what happened to you?" Hoping these people burn in hell
  • RainaProske
    RainaProske Posts: 636 Member
    edited July 2016
    You people go through some stuff that I can't even imagine. I am very insecure at times, but I've never gone through any of this stuff, like @LokiGrrl , @billglitch , the OP, and others have. Amazing!

    Most of the people in the Great North Wet are nice. Very nice. I have, however, lived in Mississippi, and a lot of the women there have a wild sense of humor that makes things come out of their mouths that leave the listener whirling. I always thought it was funny, though, when I would figure out what they really meant 10 minutes after they'd walked away. Maybe I have a whacked-out sense of humor.
  • tomteboda
    tomteboda Posts: 2,171 Member
    Small town? I'd be likely to dish an insult right back. Like "No wonder nobody can stand you." or the oblique "he who lives in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Let them worry about what that means. Or the sweetly spoken "Bless your heart, dear. Your mother must not have taught you any manners.

    On a better day, I'd go out of my way to be kind to them, because clearly their lives are filled with misery if they need to put other people down like that.
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    edited July 2016
    This sounds like the next Weird Al song.

    I can hear it now...
  • bubble_wrap0428
    bubble_wrap0428 Posts: 88 Member
    That is RIDICULOUS and terrible customer service! Notify a manger and do not return. No employee should treat a guest like that, and they are in the wrong.
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    Thank you all........I will admit that today I have been having junk food again (a whole large pizza) because I'm still really upset. I can barely get out of bed. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but it's really upsetting and I couldn't sleep until the early hours last night. A lot of you are saying I should tell the manager of the stores, but I don't want to get anyone fired :/

    You're not getting them fired, their behavior is getting them whatever consequences their boss deems appropriate. You are just the messenger.

    That being said, you need to be willing to stand up for yourself. If you won't, no one can do it for you and people will go on thinking what they did was OK. They'll do it to you and to others. Bullies are bullies because they get away with it.
  • Mapalicious
    Mapalicious Posts: 412 Member
    edited July 2016
    Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »
    OP. Look up 'learned helplessness'. Several people on these boards suffer from it. It goes like this:
    1) Post about a problem or incident that is far worse than anyone on here has ever experienced in the history of the world.
    2) Shoot down every possible solution/action for various reasons then tell everyone you have stuffed your face because of aforementioned problem/incident
    3) Get called out for attention seeking
    4) Post a generic short response 'Thanks everyone', 'I am back on track' etc because your attention cup has now been filled and to minimize negative backlash

    Rinse. Repeat.

    God forbid humans need attention. Really, we should just be isolated little self-healing machines. /sarcasm

    Your comment makes you sound like a wanker. Are you a wanker?
  • Heartisalonelyhunter
    Heartisalonelyhunter Posts: 786 Member
    Mapalicious wrote: »
    Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »
    OP. Look up 'learned helplessness'. Several people on these boards suffer from it. It goes like this:
    1) Post about a problem or incident that is far worse than anyone on here has ever experienced in the history of the world.
    2) Shoot down every possible solution/action for various reasons then tell everyone you have stuffed your face because of aforementioned problem/incident
    3) Get called out for attention seeking
    4) Post a generic short response 'Thanks everyone', 'I am back on track' etc because your attention cup has now been filled and to minimize negative backlash

    Rinse. Repeat.

    God forbid humans need attention. Really, we should just be isolated little self-healing machines. /sarcasm

    Your comment makes you sound like a wanker. Are you a wanker?

    I think you'll find everyone is a wanker. If they say they don't do it they're lying....

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