married chit-chatters?
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mskessler89 wrote: »We love to travel. I've been all over the world. I've seen a good chunk of the US too, but I've still got a ways to go. T's traveled the world for business, but he hasn't gotten to stop and see as much as he'd like. I'm working on turning him into a tourist
Places T and I have been together:
-Atlanta
-Madrid
-New York City
-Orlando
-Fiji
-Las Vegas
-Napa Valley/San Francisco
-Colombia (Medellin and Cartagena)
-Turks and Caicos
-New Orleans
-Destin
-Seattle/Chelan
-Middle-of-nowhere Georgia/middle of nowhere South Carolina
We have a trip to New Zealand coming up at the end of September, and we're doing the Grand Canyon over Thanksgiving. He's trying to swing a work trip to Cancun that I could tag along for. I have a 10 year plan of places we want to go together and how we'll need to budget for them... This is definitely a big part of our life and something our relationship developed around.
Where are you going to in new Zealand? We went before w were married. It's a really amazing place. Our highlight was staying on an ostrich farm that had sheep and elk. The owner gave us a personal tour it was so cool
All over the South Island, plus a day in Auckland before we head home. We're doing the usual tourist stuff - Tranz-Alpine train, glacier tour, Milford Sound, wine country. An ostrich farm sounds like so much fun, and so different!0 -
BinaryPulsar wrote: »I was just thinking about the previous topic of marrying younger or older. As I said, it depends on when you meet the person you want to be with. And some people have more than one marriage as well. But, all of that aside. I think my husband and I have a long history of being sexually adventurous together. And I think that's partly personality type. But, also because we were together when we were young. And because we then have been together a long time. I feel that brings about a degree of sexual adventure and experimentation and exploration that it seems to me people don't always understand or relate to (when they get married for the first time in their 30's and 40's), and I am not saying this is a negative thing just a difference. They could detail many positives as well. Maybe it's also what keeps our relationship lasting. But, we met young and passionate. And continue to keep that going together over the years. And we feel secure at the same time. And not encumbered by ideas of what we should or shouldn't do by other people's standards. And we get to grow older with a partner that we share all of those memories and history together. While being in a secure and stable relationship to grow older within. We have grown together. We didn't need to fit our lives together because our lives grew together. I feel comfortable with him. I sleep better when he is there. I think there are positives and negatives to having children younger or older. I know the positives and negatives. I don't know which is better. It depends. Maybe something in between. But, I think it all worked out well for me.
When my husband and I go out people think we are dating or sometimes ask if we are newly weds (we have been together 18 years). In some ways that newly wed feeling never went away. Like because we were young, in some ways we always feel young together.
People I know that are very negative about young marriage are people that married very young and had a dead bedroom, not exciting sex life. Because they talk negative about marriage and sex. So, they think that's how it is for everyone. Perhaps they married young for reasons other than the passionate love and friendship.
But, there is no right or wrong or one way. Just whatever happens. Different things for different people. Everything in life has pros and cons. Life is a learning experience.
I think you're very lucky, very wise in your selection, or both to have married someone who's grown with you, stayed close to you. I think a lot of young couples marry before they really know what they want out of life, and their expectations and aspirations change pretty dramatically as their careers advance and kids come into the picture. They put their own pursuits first and don't understand why their partner isn't supportive. Sex goes by the wayside as emotional distance creeps in.
I really wonder how my marriage will go in the long term - we got married 2 years ago when I was 25 and he was 44. We're emotionally on the same page and have similar interests. A big attraction point for me was that he's established in his career and knows who he is - I'm planted in my career and confident about what I want, but most guys my age are still talking about where they want to live, what job they want long-term, and so on. Still, we're going to evolve a lot over 20, 30, 40 years, and his age will end our sex life prematurely. I don't know how it will be in the future.
We won't be having kids, but I wonder what impact that choice will have on our relationship. I heard a couple say that kids are what happen when you have nothing else to do together, which seems strange to me. I'm curious - if you had kids, was it good or bad for your marriage? If you didn't, do you think it would have been better, worse, or just different if you did?1 -
mskessler89 wrote: »BinaryPulsar wrote: »I was just thinking about the previous topic of marrying younger or older. As I said, it depends on when you meet the person you want to be with. And some people have more than one marriage as well. But, all of that aside. I think my husband and I have a long history of being sexually adventurous together. And I think that's partly personality type. But, also because we were together when we were young. And because we then have been together a long time. I feel that brings about a degree of sexual adventure and experimentation and exploration that it seems to me people don't always understand or relate to (when they get married for the first time in their 30's and 40's), and I am not saying this is a negative thing just a difference. They could detail many positives as well. Maybe it's also what keeps our relationship lasting. But, we met young and passionate. And continue to keep that going together over the years. And we feel secure at the same time. And not encumbered by ideas of what we should or shouldn't do by other people's standards. And we get to grow older with a partner that we share all of those memories and history together. While being in a secure and stable relationship to grow older within. We have grown together. We didn't need to fit our lives together because our lives grew together. I feel comfortable with him. I sleep better when he is there. I think there are positives and negatives to having children younger or older. I know the positives and negatives. I don't know which is better. It depends. Maybe something in between. But, I think it all worked out well for me.
When my husband and I go out people think we are dating or sometimes ask if we are newly weds (we have been together 18 years). In some ways that newly wed feeling never went away. Like because we were young, in some ways we always feel young together.
People I know that are very negative about young marriage are people that married very young and had a dead bedroom, not exciting sex life. Because they talk negative about marriage and sex. So, they think that's how it is for everyone. Perhaps they married young for reasons other than the passionate love and friendship.
But, there is no right or wrong or one way. Just whatever happens. Different things for different people. Everything in life has pros and cons. Life is a learning experience.
I think you're very lucky, very wise in your selection, or both to have married someone who's grown with you, stayed close to you. I think a lot of young couples marry before they really know what they want out of life, and their expectations and aspirations change pretty dramatically as their careers advance and kids come into the picture. They put their own pursuits first and don't understand why their partner isn't supportive. Sex goes by the wayside as emotional distance creeps in.
I really wonder how my marriage will go in the long term - we got married 2 years ago when I was 25 and he was 44. We're emotionally on the same page and have similar interests. A big attraction point for me was that he's established in his career and knows who he is - I'm planted in my career and confident about what I want, but most guys my age are still talking about where they want to live, what job they want long-term, and so on. Still, we're going to evolve a lot over 20, 30, 40 years, and his age will end our sex life prematurely. I don't know how it will be in the future.
We won't be having kids, but I wonder what impact that choice will have on our relationship. I heard a couple say that kids are what happen when you have nothing else to do together, which seems strange to me. I'm curious - if you had kids, was it good or bad for your marriage? If you didn't, do you think it would have been better, worse, or just different if you did?
These are all very good points! Later after writing that I did start to think about how growing apart can also happen to people. And for whatever reasons (as you mentioned) that didn't happen to my husband and I. He was a healthy choice for me. And I am for him as well. And there is always the possibility (at any point) that a couple could grow apart. I don't think that will happen to us, but if it did I would still be happy about the years we spent together.
I have two children. I think people should only have children if they want to. I don't think children help the relationship. You need a solid and secure relationship as you navigate the child raising years together. And the impact of that has positives and negatives and depends on the couple and the individual people. I don't consider children to be what happens when you have nothing else to do together. I got pregnant the first time when I was 25. My kids are 12 & 9 now. I still value the alone time I get with my husband and want to do many many things with just him that are very inappropriate for children. We had kids because we were both people that had a strong desire to have children. It wasn't a choice out of boredom. It was something we did in combination with everything else we were doing. We always maintained an active sex life. In some ways I put some aspects of myself on hold when I was giving so much to my children. But, only because I wanted to and was driven to and enjoyed the experiences. Was it necessary? I don't know. Probably just my choice. But, children grow and eventually move on. I still need to have cultivated myself and my relationship in ways that leave me fulfilled when they grow up (at that point I will still only be in my 40's). So, my husband and I enjoy every stage of our relationship, parenthood, and someday when the kids are grown and moved on we will be enjoying our time together then as well (maybe travel more). I'm a dancer, so my life will always be uncertain in terms of what direction I will take in the future. If I will continue to dance, do something dance related, try new things, retire early. So, I can envision a different life with my husband in which we never had children. We would have been happy just in different ways. It's difficult to fully imagine my life without my children just because I love them. But, I can definitely see a life with my husband and no children. But, we wanted to have children. My husband loves being a father so much. I don't know if he would be happy if he hadn't had children. I mean if we hadn't been able to have children, we most likely would have adopted.0 -
Is it a Fairy Ring or just one lone mushroom?0
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I think someone once told me a fairy ring is a precursor for a circle of dead and/or malnourished grass, but growing randomly all over your lawn is normal. As someone else said, though, watch your dogs around them. My cocker almost died....or was just on some *kitten* up trip....from eating mushrooms more than once.0
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mskessler89 wrote: »We won't be having kids...
if you had kids, was it good or bad for your marriage?
If you didn't, do you think it would have been better, worse, or just different if you did?
We've been together for 21years; married for 13years.
DH is 9 years older than me; we have 2 kids - 1st one when I was 30.
It's amazing just how much closer we've become since having children. Our love have grown tremendously.
I look at him in amazement, of the father he is to our children.
I love how our kids bond us together even more.
I don't know if we would have made it this far without kids.
It can be pretty easy to give up, throw in the towel "when it's not fun anymore", but with kids, that option is not there for us. With kids, you work THAT much harder to keep your family together.
But I don't think everyone is meant to be a parent.
I wouldn't be as a great of a parent witouth my husband, who is very supportive and works hard so that I can be the stay-at-home Mom to focus on our family.
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I found several, as I was mowing, guns. We didn't do the proposed lawn treatment because they were charging us like 1800$ and we were like nope....
Now we have *kitten* growing here and there and I am hoping winter kills all soon and next year we can do the so called lawn treatment with another vendor at a better cost.
$1800 - good grief! Go to your local hardware store and get a fertilizer spreader, and ask for advice on how to keep weeds and mushrooms at bay. I'm happy to say, winter does not kill mushroom spores, or we in Michigan would never enjoy the incredible tastiness of Morel Mushrooms (no, yours is NOT a Morel!). If you decide to pick them to remove the temptation to pet or child, put them in a plastic bag so you don't spread spores all over your lawn and have twice as many next year.
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I found several, as I was mowing, guns. We didn't do the proposed lawn treatment because they were charging us like 1800$ and we were like nope....
Now we have *kitten* growing here and there and I am hoping winter kills all soon and next year we can do the so called lawn treatment with another vendor at a better cost.
$1800 - good grief! Go to your local hardware store and get a fertilizer spreader, and ask for advice on how to keep weeds and mushrooms at bay. I'm happy to say, winter does not kill mushroom spores, or we in Michigan would never enjoy the incredible tastiness of Morel Mushrooms (no, yours is NOT a Morel!). If you decide to pick them to remove the temptation to pet or child, put them in a plastic bag so you don't spread spores all over your lawn and have twice as many next year.
Mmmmmmm morels. Husband grew up in farm country an hour outside of Kansas City. They had a secret spot for morels in the woods behind their house. They'd get trash bags full of them every season. I really want to go up there one spring and see if that spot is still there...1 -
married, but a serial flirter.0
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Best read all night, this thread was.
Wow. Just. Wow.
I can't judge what flies for others but if my husband left me s daily list like that he'd come home to find a list of ways in which I would shove that list up his *kitten*.
15 years married this fall. 18 years together. Good lord that's a long time....
His kitten? thought that was the other way around....
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Still married.0
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Guns_N_Buns wrote: »
Ya never know.1 -
Best read all night, this thread was.
Wow. Just. Wow.
I can't judge what flies for others but if my husband left me s daily list like that he'd come home to find a list of ways in which I would shove that list up his *kitten*.
15 years married this fall. 18 years together. Good lord that's a long time....
His kitten? thought that was the other way around....
Yeah, mfp chose a euphemism to censor swear words. They didn't seem to realize how it confuses things and makes some things sound even dirtier than originally intended.1 -
Hi. What's everyone up to today? I do not feel like working. It's way too early in the day to want to go home already.0
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Married, father of two, checking in.1
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