married chit-chatters?

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  • islander_2013
    islander_2013 Posts: 13,378 Member
    hi everyone
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    We don't have any money arguments. We are pretty compatible that way. I like buying sexy lingerie and outfits (not too expensive or too often), and he likes that I like that too. So, that's compatible. And other than that I don't spend money on much "non-essential" stuff like food and just some basic stuff like sneakers and dancing shoes. He doesn't spend much money either. We are doing alright in that area.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    novio50 wrote: »
    Question for all the married people: How often do you and your spouse engage in separate interest? Do these interests conflict with each other?

    My hubs and I have many different interests, but share majority of them. It's not often that we're actually 'separated' -- or off doing different things. There are times when I just don't feel like going fishing, or chukar hunting, so I'll go lay out at Tahoe, bring my camera and some lunch and have a picnic by myself. However, I do enjoy fishing/hunting, so it's not like he's ever doing something I absolutely hate, so I would never forbid him from doing it. I think even if I didn't like a hobby of his, that's my own problem; it doesn't mean he shouldn't/can't do it just because I don't like it and I would never concern myself with what he spends our money on. He's an adult, so if he's bankrupting us....*ehh*....then we'll be homeless together. Except, because he's an adult, I'm not worried that he ever would. He is also an outdoorsy/would-live-off-the-grid-if-he-could type of guy, so the club scene is definitely not his thing. I, however, love dancing and going out and staying young with the girls. So, there are definitely things we choose to do alone, because the other doesn't like doing, at times, but majority of our time is spent creating memories with each other.

    I like to go out dancing too.
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
    Let's go, Binary!
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Let's go, Binary!

    We would have fun!
  • King_Spicy
    King_Spicy Posts: 821 Member
    Wizeman22 wrote: »
    Married man in the building! Shout out to all the married people out there putting in work in the gym, so their significant other does not have to look at other guys and/or females.

    No shame in just looking or complimenting. My wife and I point out attractive people all the time. lol
  • kevinf2380
    kevinf2380 Posts: 256 Member
    My wife and I have different interests. I'd rather be outside and she'd rather read a book quietly somewhere. We used to go on hikes where I'd stop to fish while she read on a rock. It was awesome. We have our won outlets now. Hers is running, mine is mountain biking and fishing. It's important to allow each other those outlets for your sanity and theirs.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
    novio50 wrote: »
    Question for all the married people: How often do you and your spouse engage in separate interest? Do these interests conflict with each other?

    Not enough, and sometimes too much. I need away time by myself to do my thing, but my wife is not like that, so I have to moderate myself and make sure I am not leaving here 'alone' too often. So I could play tennis all day, every day and be happy, but that wouldn't fly for the marriage so I throw in movies, dinner dates, etc.

    Simple as finding the balance in it all.
  • kevinf2380
    kevinf2380 Posts: 256 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    novio50 wrote: »
    Question for all the married people: How often do you and your spouse engage in separate interest? Do these interests conflict with each other?

    Not enough, and sometimes too much. I need away time by myself to do my thing, but my wife is not like that, so I have to moderate myself and make sure I am not leaving here 'alone' too often. So I could play tennis all day, every day and be happy, but that wouldn't fly for the marriage so I throw in movies, dinner dates, etc.

    Simple as finding the balance in it all.

    You ain't kidding. That goes for family stuff to. My wife thinks something fun has to involve the kids. I can have fun with or without the kids. Let's be honest doing things you want to do usually doesn't involve young children. I can go on a camping or fishing trip by myself all weekend and not feel a drop of guilt. My wife leaves the kids for 4hours and constantly checks her phone to see if she received a text about them needing something.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
    kevinf2380 wrote: »
    You ain't kidding. That goes for family stuff to. My wife thinks something fun has to involve the kids. I can have fun with or without the kids. Let's be honest doing things you want to do usually doesn't involve young children. I can go on a camping or fishing trip by myself all weekend and not feel a drop of guilt. My wife leaves the kids for 4hours and constantly checks her phone to see if she received a text about them needing something.


    Exactly. Now as I have gotten a bit older I also like to spend more time with the kids because I know that time is fleeting, but I still my own time to do things for me. And I TRY to get my wife to find things she can do for herself as well. Never easy and sometimes I am away too much, while other times I feel too fricken crowded.

  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I spend a lot of time with my kids. I like to get away and do fun adult stuff. But, often before we go out, my husband will do something fun with the kids. And when possible we do stuff together as a family. And make time for each of us to occasionally have one on one time with each kid. Especially my 12 year old daughter likes time with me to talk or we both read a book to talk about (our own book club)
  • tperry6467
    tperry6467 Posts: 3 Member
    I'm with everyone and am glad there's a lot of support out there. I've just started this program again after moving and could use a few friends on my wall. Please feel free to add me. It really helps with motivation. :)
  • mkakids
    mkakids Posts: 1,913 Member
    edited August 2016
    novio50 wrote: »
    Question for all the married people: How often do you and your spouse engage in separate interest? Do these interests conflict with each other?

    We exist in the same house.....we dont share many common interests, lol.

    We do make sure to be respectful of the other persons choices though...meaning we try to make sure we both get time to do what we want.
  • RainaProske
    RainaProske Posts: 636 Member
    edited August 2016
    novio50 wrote: »
    Question for all the married people: How often do you and your spouse engage in separate interest? Do these interests conflict with each other?

    I'm talking any interest that you guys don't do together. If your spouse gave you an ultimatum of you can't join a gym or I'll divorce you (for example purposes) how would you handle it?

    Since I've been sick, he puts up with my being "down" a lot. I'm not happy about that at all.

    Since we married 29 years ago, our interests have come together -- a lot. When we married, we both went to the same church, for example. I got kicked out, but I begged him not to let that sway him: that if he left, it would be his choice and not because of me. He stayed another 1.6 years, and I was fine with that, even initially attending with him at first. Now, we both attend my place of worship, and when I can -- like maybe twice a year -- I attend his. I am just now starting to get back out to my place of worship, and he has continued to attend there anyway.

    He goes out walking/exercising alone. I encourage that. I am stuck in bed a lot, so I study.

    My house cleaning is sporadic, so we both just keep things as clean as possible, and I do what I can. Today, for example, I did a little cleaning, scrubbed two toilets, made dinner, washed the dishes (using a dish washer) and propped up the tomato plants. For me, he did the shopping for the weekend, mailed my package and likely did other things of which I am not aware.

    We are still planning on going camping together soon. If I have to stay in the RV a lot, well, so be it. But I'm hoping I will be better. Planning on that. Regardless, he will enjoy himself, even if I am in bed a lot.

    However, regarding your next post, I would not take any "ultimatums'" from him. No Stinkin' Way! I am an adult; he is an adult. Ultimatums have no place in our relationship and should not be in ANY real adult relationship.
  • Wizeman22
    Wizeman22 Posts: 552 Member
    King_Spicy wrote: »
    Wizeman22 wrote: »
    Married man in the building! Shout out to all the married people out there putting in work in the gym, so their significant other does not have to look at other guys and/or females.

    No shame in just looking or complimenting. My wife and I point out attractive people all the time. lol

    Your right because my wife and I do the samething. Lol!

  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Wizeman22 wrote: »
    King_Spicy wrote: »
    Wizeman22 wrote: »
    Married man in the building! Shout out to all the married people out there putting in work in the gym, so their significant other does not have to look at other guys and/or females.

    No shame in just looking or complimenting. My wife and I point out attractive people all the time. lol

    Your right because my wife and I do the samething. Lol!

    We do too. And we also go to those fetish dance parties (as I have mentioned). And definitely point people out there. So, we will sometimes dance with other people. And this involves a little sensual dancing and closeness and touching (just hands on waist, shoulders, chest). But, I don't let guys grind on me. I'm there to dance. Actually dance. Dancing is sexy on it's own. I am ok kissing and touching women, though (as long as they want to).
  • DarlingNikki2011
    DarlingNikki2011 Posts: 287 Member
    So folks... question... has social media affected your marriage at all? If so, have you done anything about it?
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    edited August 2016
    So folks... question... has social media affected your marriage at all? If so, have you done anything about it?

    I tend to talk openly about sexual things, and don't find all aspects of it to be as personal as probably some other people do. Because it's such a big aspect of my personality it would seem odd to me to completely hide that. And I am ok with the occasional compliments or flirting or jokey flirting. But, nothing intense, frequent, detailed, or super personal. All of which I would find annoying. Some people definitely cross the line of my boundaries. And that did seem to expand my boundaries in ways I didn't expect. I became more open and talkative in general. But, I put a stop to people that cross my boundaries. But, it did initially catch me off guard. I was more innocent to online flirting than probably people realize because I have an open and experimental personality, so my initial reaction was to ask questions and understand people. I told my husband about it. I am open with him. I unfriend people when needed. I tell people to stop or what my boundaries are. And some people just immediately stop once they know that my boundaries conflict with what they want.

    And I keep things interesting in our sex life and go to the fetish parties to get to do some real life flirting with each other, and with others (with him there to stop anyone that tries to go past my boundaries). So, online flirting doesn't hold a huge appeal and I don't particularly like it. I have a high sex drive personality type, so I make sure to keep that fulfilled in my real life and be open with my husband. It can increase at times, and then drop to a normal level. So, I have become aware of that about myself. My husband hasn't had any social media sexual things happen.
  • aftonthecruiser
    aftonthecruiser Posts: 8 Member
    Hi happily married no kids
  • DarleneReid577
    DarleneReid577 Posts: 4,401 Member
    Hi happily married no kids

    Welcome