Long time maintainer, and sometimes I want to quit.
Replies
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Ive lost 147 pounds and I stopped logging after about 25 lost, 2 years ago. I've lost every month since and am almost to maintenance. I might log 1-2 days when weight stalls out, but I've always been right on track with cals and macros. When I get to maintenance I will set a 5 lb window and if I get to the upper limit, I will start logging again to get back on track.
I love to eat, I'd say most people on MFP do. But i love being pain-free, mobile, and strong even more. When I started this process I made a very conscious decision that I would need to make some lifelong changes. I do not want to go back to where I started, so I keep moving forward. There are some foods I allow myself and some that it's easier to stay away from completely. Each person is different in that regards, and we have to do what we have to do if we want to stay on track.9 -
Maybe there's an in-between step? What if you continue to track your weight every day or whatever it takes to keep your streak (which is awesome -- by the way), but not log meals. In a few weeks, if that's not working go back to doing what has worked for you.4
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It looks to me your mindset is troubling you. Your choice of words is striking - stressed, worried, control, obsession. Are you jealous of how other people seem to be able to eat more than you can? Or just that they are more relaxed about eating? You can't know for sure what people are thinking unless you ask, and they may lie or not want to tell you. If you were to stop tracking, how would you eat? If you know how many calories there are in everything, you don't need to track.
I'm not usually one to recommend "self-help books", but Allen Carr's "Easyweigh to lose weight" has helped me a lot. Also check out theese two websites: What is Normal Eating? and Isabel Foxen Duke.5 -
I hate to hear that logging is making you unhappy. That is a signal that you are ready for a change. Don't look at it as a change where you will gain. Maybe you are ready to fly. You've lost the weight.. you maintained for three years.. you know how to eat. you know how to exercise. Trust yourself… walk away in confidence... you have accomplished this goal... not a webpage or app.10
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crayonbreakywillow wrote: »I've been on MFP for over four years now, haven't missed a day. I've been on maintenance for three years after successfully losing 90ish pounds. From the beginning, I've loved the control I have over what I eat. Counting calories made sense to me and it worked! My husband and I started MFP together and I love that it's something we share. We are active and walk, bike ride and now run together.
But lately it's been a struggle. For some reason the scale has been fighting us, even though we are more active than ever. And, I find myself obsessing over it to the point where I feel like it consumes me and I get cranky when anything "interferes" with my planned calories.
And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it. I love food and it's something I'm passionate about. We don't deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy, but I get tired of feeling like I have to feel guilty when we overindulge. And I get jealous of how the rest of the world just eats what they want, when they want without stressing over it.
I've thought of taking a break, but honestly I'm afraid. And, I'm quite proud of my 1,528 day streak. I feel like if we stopped logging, we may lose control and gain all we've lost. I'm also afraid I wouldn't be able to look at food without seeing numbers anyway because I'm so used to knowing the calorie count of everything. Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone successfully stopped logging? Am I doomed to log the rest of my life? I worry that one day I will look back with regret because I allowed myself to be so obsessed with logging that I missed out on enjoying life to the fullest.
Try logging in a couple days at one time. So your only logging on once or twice the week.1 -
Wow! Thank you all for the replies! Reading your thoughts, suggestions and encouragement has been wonderful. Thank you all! I think that my mindset is what is stressing me out. I tend to be a perfectionist about things and I think I feel like to stop logging would somehow equal quitting. I know this makes no sense because I would never go back to just eating mindlessly. The thought of not logging makes me feel panicked. It's become such a second nature.
Some of you suggested weighing everyday and ironically, we just decided to stop doing that. We've been obsessing over every ounce and we decided to only weigh in weekly instead. This has actually helped a lot, but I still feel like I obsess about logging.
The thing is, we have certain days of the year that we freely indulge and don't feel guilty (but still log) such as our anniversary, birthdays etc. But, when unexpected life stuff comes up that we don't plan for, it stresses me out and makes me cranky to have to adjust my calories for it. I also feel like we "need" more indulgence days than we used to. We used to be satisfied with a few a year, now I feel tempted to go over calories often.
We've put ourselves back on a half pound deficit lately because the scale has been creeping up (despite exercise and eating maintenance calories) and it's been frustrating to fight the scale lately. That has definitely added to my temptation to just quit.
I am thinking of attempting the "log in, but don't log food for a while" idea, just to see if it's even possible for my brain to adjust to that. I always pre log my food the night before, at least to get a rough estimate. I don't know how I would untrain my brain to add the calories in my head.
I can't imagine ever letting myself gain back 90 pounds. I'm much too aware of my eating now and we maintain a very active lifestyle as well. I try to eat somewhat healthy, but I'll admit, we often make unhealthy choices as long as they fit in our calories. Maybe I should try focusing more on eating the healthy foods I enjoy most of the time, and adding in the unhealthy foods in small doses?
Again, thank you all for your ideas and support! It's so nice to have a group like this that understands where I'm coming from.8 -
BenjaminOrBust wrote: »I generally don't comment as I don't consider myself much of a good advice giver. Just thought I would throw in my two cents. Our minds can play some crazy tricks on us. I was O.C.D for most of my life and had to turn the door handle three times every time I walked out the exterior door to make sure it was locked. Eventually the door handle screws wobbled so loose that it fell off and I came home one day to an open door. Now that sounds silly, but I am making a point... you worked so hard to get to where you are. As much as I love this APP it is just an awesome tool. You lost the weight because you made a life decision and stuck with it. Sometimes the mental is the final hurdle, and since you made it through the physical... you are at the finish line. In my humble opinion, if you just maintain the discipline in your nutrition as you have you will be fine. Keep it up.
As for the "everyone else just eating whatever they want", it will catch up with most at some point in their life and they will be begging to be where you are now. I've fallen off the wagon three times, and I never want to feel that way again. Keep doing what you are doing. Be proud of who you are become, the amount of days you logged means little to the amount of extra days of healthy life you have added for yourself.
Wishing you the best of luck in your journey. Congrats on being and staying fit!
I love what you said about this APP being just a tool. You're right. I definitely think it is a mental hurdle I need to overcome. By the way, thanks for the friend request! I also want to mention (because I feel like I have to explain myself!) that if you happen to see my diary for today, you'll see I went way over. My best friend had surgery today and I spent the day at the hospital with her. I decided ahead of time that I wasn't going to worry about what I ate. I'm fine doing this if I decide ahead that I'm going to, and I always log it. I would have been stressed if I hadn't planned for this and I had a day that went way over. So, somewhere in there, it's about controlling and deciding? Anyway, I'm going to be working hard on this mental hurdle. Thanks again!
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@crayonbreakywillow Another thing I just thought of that you might like is to just eat intuitively. Don't worry about trying to fit things in, just eat what feels right. Then at the end of the day, or after each meal, whatever you feel comfortable with, THEN log it. That way you can learn what you actually do when you're not focused on fitting things in. You may find that you can just do it just fine off of intuition, and that may ease your mind. I think doing this for a couple of weeks will at least give you a good idea of where you naturally trend towards.11
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@RelevantGains I really like this idea! Thank you!!2
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I've only been in maintenance since April after losing 90 lbs but I do have that longing to just eat whatever I want and go back to my old habits! And the jealousy that other people don't have to think about all this as much as I do and they can just go about their lives! Like others, I like being thin and I'm motivated to stay that way but some days are harder than others.
Something that works for me is taking weekends off of logging. Sometimes just a day, sometimes 3 days. I just eat what I want and don't care. I always gain weight of course, so then I eat at a slight deficit starting Monday morning and it comes off very quickly. I always continue with a high activity level and exercise. And it's not like I eat an entire pizza by myself, I do try to be mindful but I definitely go over by quite a bit and I don't log. I know this wouldn't work for everyone but I like it because i still get to really enjoy food on a regular basis but while still feeling in control of the process. I'd rather eat at a deficit some days and over eat other days than eat at maintenance all the time. But that's just what has worked for me. I'm still new to this so I'm assuming what works for me will change too!3 -
I have also maintained for four years and I know what you mean.
It has helped me to continue to log every single meal every single day. But I have loosened up a bit - I no longer log little things that I know don't add up to anything - the lettuce and mustard and ketchup for instance. I have started to look at it like brushing my teeth. Something I do regularly but not with any real attention.
But your idea of really enjoying food is important. I LOVE to eat. And I do give it my full attention. Because I know about what things are and trust myself, I put my full attention into every mouthful. In fact, I enjoy food much more now than I did before. Because I STOP eating as soon as I'm not hungry so every mouthful is enjoyable. And I try never to eat anything that doesn't taste great.
We have periods when logging seems more or less of a chore. But keep at it for a while longer and see if you can loosen up a bit. You've done great so far and been very successful. I think you just need to tweek it a bit.
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I didn't read all the comments so maybe it's been mentioned but you don't have to log to keep up your streak. Just visit the site and it counts you for that day. So you don't have to worry about losing your streak if you want to take a break.
I've still got a long way to go but I took a little over a year off without gaining. I weighed myself daily and if my weight started to go up more than a few pounds, I started being more careful until it went back where it started. That's my plan when I get to maintenance. Give myself a few pound "buffer" (since weight is always going to bounce around) and work on it when it hits my limit. Of course I'm not going to go wild everyday so that I'm back to counting calories every week or two, but I'm not going to count every day. At this point, I've pretty well learned how to gauge what I can have and what I can't so I plan to take those skills to maintenance with me.0 -
I can honestly say that I feel exactly like you, to the point of tears out of shear frustration. I don't have answer for you , but definitely some real sympathy.3
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crayonbreakywillow wrote: »Wow! Thank you all for the replies! Reading your thoughts, suggestions and encouragement has been wonderful. Thank you all! I think that my mindset is what is stressing me out. I tend to be a perfectionist about things and I think I feel like to stop logging would somehow equal quitting. I know this makes no sense because I would never go back to just eating mindlessly. The thought of not logging makes me feel panicked. It's become such a second nature.
Some of you suggested weighing everyday and ironically, we just decided to stop doing that. We've been obsessing over every ounce and we decided to only weigh in weekly instead. This has actually helped a lot, but I still feel like I obsess about logging.
The thing is, we have certain days of the year that we freely indulge and don't feel guilty (but still log) such as our anniversary, birthdays etc. But, when unexpected life stuff comes up that we don't plan for, it stresses me out and makes me cranky to have to adjust my calories for it. I also feel like we "need" more indulgence days than we used to. We used to be satisfied with a few a year, now I feel tempted to go over calories often.
We've put ourselves back on a half pound deficit lately because the scale has been creeping up (despite exercise and eating maintenance calories) and it's been frustrating to fight the scale lately. That has definitely added to my temptation to just quit.
I am thinking of attempting the "log in, but don't log food for a while" idea, just to see if it's even possible for my brain to adjust to that. I always pre log my food the night before, at least to get a rough estimate. I don't know how I would untrain my brain to add the calories in my head.
I can't imagine ever letting myself gain back 90 pounds. I'm much too aware of my eating now and we maintain a very active lifestyle as well. I try to eat somewhat healthy, but I'll admit, we often make unhealthy choices as long as they fit in our calories. Maybe I should try focusing more on eating the healthy foods I enjoy most of the time, and adding in the unhealthy foods in small doses?
Again, thank you all for your ideas and support! It's so nice to have a group like this that understands where I'm coming from.
OP you are not alone. I can 100% relate to the bolded ^^^ I feel the exact same way.
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Christine_72 wrote: »crayonbreakywillow wrote: »Wow! Thank you all for the replies! Reading your thoughts, suggestions and encouragement has been wonderful. Thank you all! I think that my mindset is what is stressing me out. I tend to be a perfectionist about things and I think I feel like to stop logging would somehow equal quitting. I know this makes no sense because I would never go back to just eating mindlessly. The thought of not logging makes me feel panicked. It's become such a second nature.
Some of you suggested weighing everyday and ironically, we just decided to stop doing that. We've been obsessing over every ounce and we decided to only weigh in weekly instead. This has actually helped a lot, but I still feel like I obsess about logging.
The thing is, we have certain days of the year that we freely indulge and don't feel guilty (but still log) such as our anniversary, birthdays etc. But, when unexpected life stuff comes up that we don't plan for, it stresses me out and makes me cranky to have to adjust my calories for it. I also feel like we "need" more indulgence days than we used to. We used to be satisfied with a few a year, now I feel tempted to go over calories often.
We've put ourselves back on a half pound deficit lately because the scale has been creeping up (despite exercise and eating maintenance calories) and it's been frustrating to fight the scale lately. That has definitely added to my temptation to just quit.
I am thinking of attempting the "log in, but don't log food for a while" idea, just to see if it's even possible for my brain to adjust to that. I always pre log my food the night before, at least to get a rough estimate. I don't know how I would untrain my brain to add the calories in my head.
I can't imagine ever letting myself gain back 90 pounds. I'm much too aware of my eating now and we maintain a very active lifestyle as well. I try to eat somewhat healthy, but I'll admit, we often make unhealthy choices as long as they fit in our calories. Maybe I should try focusing more on eating the healthy foods I enjoy most of the time, and adding in the unhealthy foods in small doses?
Again, thank you all for your ideas and support! It's so nice to have a group like this that understands where I'm coming from.
OP you are not alone. I can 100% relate to the bolded ^^^ I feel the exact same way.
Same here. I'm always torn between wanting to go out and indulge a little bit and knowing that I really shouldn't. Frankly sometimes it makes things suck because I end up missing out on fun opportunities.. I mean, yeah, I don't have to eat anything when we decide to go out for ice cream after dinner at the last minute, but sheesh, it sucks (it's a good week when I have a 1500 calorie deficit, so even 200 calories makes a difference - I'm trying to stay on a small deficit too).
I'm not sure I could stop counting though, even if I didn't log... I'd probably end up doing it mentally anyway (which is what I do when we go out/eat at other people). I suppose it helps to realize that, as it means that I don't think I'll ever be able to actually enjoy my food the same way anyway when I know how many calories are in it... So I log. Might as well. I have noticed that I naturally try to follow my hunger cues now though, so I probably wouldn't go overboard most days, but I guarantee that during PMS I'd probably end up gaining 2 pounds every month if I didn't log.0 -
So, I've decided to try some baby steps because I really want to be able to eat more intuitively and not stress over every calorie. I'm starting an experiment today in which I don't log my food, but I try to keep my calories within a certain range for each meal. I typically have breakfast/lunch/dinner/eveningsnack, so I'm going to set an average amount of calories that I feel is pretty good for me and divide those calories amongst my meals. I'm going with 1800 divided like this: Around 450 or less for breakfast, as well as about 450 for lunch. 600 or less for dinner and 300 or less for snacks. Normally, I pre log everything the night before so I know exactly what I'm going to eat the next day. I'm not going to do that and I'm going to attempt to not even think about it until it's time to prepare that meal. I'll add in my head and make sure the calories are around or less than what I've allotted for that meal and just enjoy my food. I'm hoping that I'll gradually get to the point where I don't need to even count in my head, I'll just instinctively know what's about right.
I'll still be calorie-conscious and I'll try to maintain a healthy diet and exercise regularly, but I really want to see if I can do all this, maintain my weight, stay healthy without feeling obsessed and that I have to rely on MFP to keep me on track. I love MFP, but like someone said, it's just a tool and I am the one who has accomplished my goals.
I am going to go back to weighing in every day, because I want to make sure this is working and I don't let any pounds creep on. I'm still going to log in to keep my streak and for a while I may just put in quick add calories to ease my way to not logging. My goal is to get to the point where I know what is right for me to eat and to not be so focused on it to the point where it consumes entirely too many of my thoughts. I also want to be more flexible and not get cranky when the unexpected causes me to have to eat more calories than I had planned. If I'm not logging, this should help.
I'm terrified, but I'm only trying it out this week, weekdays. I'm going to keep logging for a bit on weekends because we tend to eat a bit more loosely on weekends and I don't want to let that get out of hand. If all goes well, I'll continue with this as my weekday plan and eventually include weekends too. I hope that I'll just naturally come to a place where I can do all this without needing MFP at all.7 -
yay.
I would reiterate to read that Allan Carr book "Allen Carr's Easyweigh to Lose Weight" - the problem is so much more than just these numbers, it's about allowing obsessive thoughts, and thoughts of control, and then beating yourself up for not being perfect. There is a way out.
I also really relate to this post: (and it follows Allan Carr thinking)Return2Fit wrote: »I stopped logging years ago with no issues. My big challenge is willfully pigging out.
There are certain people I can't hang with and certain places I can't go without blowing it.
In weight maintenance it's just too easy for the weight to creep up, and then I'm like most who regained that awful lard.
There is an event tomorrow I am skipping which mirrors the people I avoid and other such celebrations where food is the primary entertainment.
A certain family member who ate himself fat and sick with Type II diabetes once scoffed at my smoothie while he feasted on corn chips and chili/cheese hot dogs.
Later we rushed him to the hospital for a health related issue, and he acted like a complete victim.
I use incidents like that to remind myself of what I never want to become and why I sacrifice.
I have something 99.9% of the human population will never experience in peak levels of physical fitness and optimal health. It's worth it, but that monster temptation is a daily beast I must fight.
...except for the 99.9% thing at the end. I'm not that.
I've been maintaining for nine years. It took a long time to relax about stuff. Stuff in general, not just eating. Control. Obsession. Perfectionism. Being "right." Taking care of everyone else's feelz. Worry. Negative thinking of all types.
Thing is, maintaining weight is a battle (big or small) for everyone who lives in a country with enough food. I am biologically created to survive, and food = survival. I have to use my higher brain to stop eating when there is still food around. Not the monkey brain which says, "Eat all the everything."
I've gone long periods without logging. I always start gaining instead of losing, so I've learned that I have to keep track on paper where I can see it (or on MFP). For me, Maintenance logging and weighing myself has become like brushing my teeth. It takes me five minutes a day, I have to do it, I just do it and accept that it's part of being an adult and making my own choices.
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cmriverside wrote: » yay.
I would reiterate to read that Allan Carr book "Allen Carr's Easyweigh to Lose Weight" - the problem is so much more than just these numbers, it's about allowing obsessive thoughts, and thoughts of control, and then beating yourself up for not being perfect. There is a way out.
I also really relate to this post: (and it follows Allan Carr thinking)Return2Fit wrote: »I stopped logging years ago with no issues. My big challenge is willfully pigging out.
There are certain people I can't hang with and certain places I can't go without blowing it.
In weight maintenance it's just too easy for the weight to creep up, and then I'm like most who regained that awful lard.
There is an event tomorrow I am skipping which mirrors the people I avoid and other such celebrations where food is the primary entertainment.
A certain family member who ate himself fat and sick with Type II diabetes once scoffed at my smoothie while he feasted on corn chips and chili/cheese hot dogs.
Later we rushed him to the hospital for a health related issue, and he acted like a complete victim.
I use incidents like that to remind myself of what I never want to become and why I sacrifice.
I have something 99.9% of the human population will never experience in peak levels of physical fitness and optimal health. It's worth it, but that monster temptation is a daily beast I must fight.
...except for the 99.9% thing at the end. I'm not that.
I've been maintaining for nine years. It took a long time to relax about stuff. Stuff in general, not just eating. Control. Obsession. Perfectionism. Being "right." Taking care of everyone else's feelz. Worry. Negative thinking of all types.
Thing is, maintaining weight is a battle (big or small) for everyone who lives in a country with enough food. I am biologically created to survive, and food = survival. I have to use my higher brain to stop eating when there is still food around. Not the monkey brain which says, "Eat all the everything."
I've gone long periods without logging. I always start gaining instead of losing, so I've learned that I have to keep track on paper where I can see it (or on MFP). For me, Maintenance logging and weighing myself has become like brushing my teeth. It takes me five minutes a day, I have to do it, I just do it and accept that it's part of being an adult and making my own choices.
You're right when you say it's not just about the numbers. It is about obsessive thoughts and control and beating myself up for not being perfect. I struggle with this in general, so it's not surprising that it has become an issue when it comes to my focus on weight maintenance. The thing is, I'm sure that my perfectionism and need to control the situation helped a great deal to keep me focused and determined during weight loss, so it's not a complete negative. Logging itself isn't the issue, I think. As you said, logging is like brushing my teeth and that's so true. It doesn't take much time. I think my issue is that obsessive need to control and plan every detail. Yesterday I did not log my actual food, though I did make sure to keep each meals calories under the desired threshold. I tried not to think about my meals beforehand and I decided what I was going to have right before each meal. It was nice to decide based on what sounded good in the moment and not have it planned out ahead. I added the calories in my head at the end of the day and I came in 85 calories under my goal. If I could do this naturally every day without obsessing, that would be my goal. To eat intuitively.7 -
crayonbreakywillow wrote: »cmriverside wrote: » yay.
I would reiterate to read that Allan Carr book "Allen Carr's Easyweigh to Lose Weight" - the problem is so much more than just these numbers, it's about allowing obsessive thoughts, and thoughts of control, and then beating yourself up for not being perfect. There is a way out.
I also really relate to this post: (and it follows Allan Carr thinking)Return2Fit wrote: »I stopped logging years ago with no issues. My big challenge is willfully pigging out.
There are certain people I can't hang with and certain places I can't go without blowing it.
In weight maintenance it's just too easy for the weight to creep up, and then I'm like most who regained that awful lard.
There is an event tomorrow I am skipping which mirrors the people I avoid and other such celebrations where food is the primary entertainment.
A certain family member who ate himself fat and sick with Type II diabetes once scoffed at my smoothie while he feasted on corn chips and chili/cheese hot dogs.
Later we rushed him to the hospital for a health related issue, and he acted like a complete victim.
I use incidents like that to remind myself of what I never want to become and why I sacrifice.
I have something 99.9% of the human population will never experience in peak levels of physical fitness and optimal health. It's worth it, but that monster temptation is a daily beast I must fight.
...except for the 99.9% thing at the end. I'm not that.
I've been maintaining for nine years. It took a long time to relax about stuff. Stuff in general, not just eating. Control. Obsession. Perfectionism. Being "right." Taking care of everyone else's feelz. Worry. Negative thinking of all types.
Thing is, maintaining weight is a battle (big or small) for everyone who lives in a country with enough food. I am biologically created to survive, and food = survival. I have to use my higher brain to stop eating when there is still food around. Not the monkey brain which says, "Eat all the everything."
I've gone long periods without logging. I always start gaining instead of losing, so I've learned that I have to keep track on paper where I can see it (or on MFP). For me, Maintenance logging and weighing myself has become like brushing my teeth. It takes me five minutes a day, I have to do it, I just do it and accept that it's part of being an adult and making my own choices.
You're right when you say it's not just about the numbers. It is about obsessive thoughts and control and beating myself up for not being perfect. I struggle with this in general, so it's not surprising that it has become an issue when it comes to my focus on weight maintenance. The thing is, I'm sure that my perfectionism and need to control the situation helped a great deal to keep me focused and determined during weight loss, so it's not a complete negative. Logging itself isn't the issue, I think. As you said, logging is like brushing my teeth and that's so true. It doesn't take much time. I think my issue is that obsessive need to control and plan every detail. Yesterday I did not log my actual food, though I did make sure to keep each meals calories under the desired threshold. I tried not to think about my meals beforehand and I decided what I was going to have right before each meal. It was nice to decide based on what sounded good in the moment and not have it planned out ahead. I added the calories in my head at the end of the day and I came in 85 calories under my goal. If I could do this naturally every day without obsessing, that would be my goal. To eat intuitively.
I did that when I hit Maintenance weight a few years ago. Although, I've never been a pre-logger; I'm too much of a free spirit for that. I didn't even have a body-weight scale so I was going 100% on intuition. I was able to maintain until winter hit.
In the nine years since hitting maintenance I've found that winter is when I really need logging the most. I'm more active in the summer and I just don't feel like eating that much on a regular basis when it's hot. Also biology. "Put on that layer of fat now! The days are getting shorter! Hurry hurry! It'sa gonna be cold soon!" Okay, body, I've kept you warm for decades now, you don't have to be worrying about the cold. Geez. But it's true, and every winter I really want to eat.
In the first few years I just would log on occasion, and wanted to be an intuitive eater: that worked until it didn't. I more or less accepted an annual 10-15 pound weight gain over the holidays/during the cold months. One Spring I was just fed up of having to eat at a calorie deficit to lose that last ten again and decided to stop doing that. It's much easier to just weigh myself and watch it all year round and log 90% of my meals accurately than to go through that three to five month period of losing that same ten pounds. Ten pounds on me shows, and ten pounds affect my cholesterol numbers at my annual exam. I don't like it.
You'll figure out a way to make it work, but anxiety is not the answer. I think you'd like that Allan Carr book, it is applicable to all areas of life. I read a lot of self-help type stuff over the years. I'm much more mindful of letting my crazy-brain take over now.
Don't torture yourself with your own thoughts. ::zen::
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Speaking as a maintainer who has recently gained it all back, don't do it. Find the balance for you - but don't stop. You'll regret it. I do.5
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