Family's Blatant Lack of Understanding of Basic Nutrition

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Replies

  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
    TeaBea wrote: »
    Sara1791 wrote: »
    A few suggestions you could try:
    eat alone,
    cook all of your own meals,
    print out this little rant and present it to your family.

    Hope that helps.

    OR

    Print it out and hang onto it until you have your own children someday. Then re-read this rant.....I bet you feel differently.

    You're right, my response is rooted in the fact that I'm a mother who loves her kids and tries her best. If in spite of my best efforts, my kids expressed this kind of hostility and ingratitude, I'd be terribly hurt.
  • lucys1225
    lucys1225 Posts: 597 Member
    Whenever I go to my family's or my MIL's house for dinner, I always bring things that I eat and make sure to bring enough for everyone to enjoy, if they so desire.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    lucys1225 wrote: »
    Whenever I go to my family's or my MIL's house for dinner, I always bring things that I eat and make sure to bring enough for everyone to enjoy, if they so desire.

    This -- I don't expect my family and friends to cater to my specific food preferences and needs. If they do, it's a bonus. But the point is to spend time with my family and friends.
  • Queenmunchy
    Queenmunchy Posts: 3,380 Member
    Rocknut53 wrote: »
    Because you have a basic understanding of calories/macros, it doesn't mean everyone else does. If you are trying to lose weight then at some point you must not have had that knowledge either.

    That being said, I do not discuss health/fitness/gym/diet with anyone, even my family, as their ignorance is astounding.

    This made me think of my mother-in-law who when her doctor told her to cut down on salt in her diet, switched to sea salt because, in her words, "it contains no sodium." :s

    My dad refuses to use ground cayenne because he has to cut down his sodium :smile:
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
    If it's often, see if you can bring side dishes and stuff that are ungreasy and safe for you. If it's seldom, just make sure to hit the gym really hard on days you eat there.
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
    How often do you eat with them? Could you go over like a half hour before and help with the meal?

    As for being seen as ungrateful, the OP does come off as ......a bit whiney. You never specified if you asked your parents not to cook the veggies without butter, or to plop you out a portion before they add it. They can't read your mind, so have a non confrontation chat with them, not at the dinner table, about how you'd prefer to have something cooked. Esp, if they ask tend to ask you, "is this healthy?" You could respond with something like, "its great to be adding greens to our plates, but it'd be even better if you cook it without the X" And bring a nice healthy dish to pass with a recipe card so when your parents say "Hey, this is great!" you can give them the recipe.

    If, after that, they continue to do what they do, then just take smaller portions. You are changing your diet, they are not but seem to be trying to accommodate you when you come over.

    Also, even in butter, a cup of veggies is better then no veggies at all.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
    Because I feel you, I really do. I'm having to go to the inlaws place for Thanksgiving. The inlaws know and care NOTHING about nutrition, calories, blah blah. It's just a fat fest. I'm going to probably have a protein shake ahead of time to help me not be very hungry, so that I can eat small portions instead of going wild and then feeling like a miserable blob.

    It's not like there's any conversation to be had with the inlaws, either. They are, um, not terribly concerned with intellectual matters and have few interests, shall we say. My husband, who's a fairly brainy guy, is adopted and you can totally tell! lol. dreading it.
  • orj081995
    orj081995 Posts: 1 Member
    Even if butter doesn't negate the healthiness of veggies, it's still cholesterol, which builds up over time and can be very dangerous to your health. Sodium isn't unhealthy unless you have a condition like heart failure or high blood pressure, then it needs to be limited. It does, however, make you retain fluids which can make a weight loss journey more difficult (which is not what any of us need!) I hope you and your family can come to a more acceptable compromise!
  • vikinglander
    vikinglander Posts: 1,547 Member
    edited November 2016
    gothchiq wrote: »
    Because I feel you, I really do. I'm having to go to the inlaws place for Thanksgiving. The inlaws know and care NOTHING about nutrition, calories, blah blah. It's just a fat fest. I'm going to probably have a protein shake ahead of time to help me not be very hungry, so that I can eat small portions instead of going wild and then feeling like a miserable blob.

    It's not like there's any conversation to be had with the inlaws, either. They are, um, not terribly concerned with intellectual matters and have few interests, shall we say. My husband, who's a fairly brainy guy, is adopted and you can totally tell! lol. dreading it.

    Hey GC, if you're in the NY area, you can certainly drop by our TG dinner...never mind my GF's 'rents... my 22 y/o daughter will bend your ear for hours on politics, religion and sex, and everything near, far, around, or in-between. Last year she had a one-hour discussion with my GF's 89 y/o step-dad about Dante's Inferno and whether Lucifer was simply misunderstood. The following Saturday we will be in the Philly area at MY parents' with my bro and HIS family. More opinions at one table than Ann Landers had in her whole career. You should stop by!

    But at least the food is always awesome!
  • laur357
    laur357 Posts: 896 Member
    I was making dinner with my parents when I was visiting, and I was put in charge of the Brussels sprouts - I roasted them with a measured tablespoon of olive oil, garlic, and seasoning then put them in a serving bowl.

    Then my mom dumped a quarter cup of melted butter on them.

    I laughed so hard. They were delicious. (I'm the only fat one.)
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
    weeza29745 wrote: »
    Even if butter doesn't negate the healthiness of veggies, it's still cholesterol, which builds up over time and can be very dangerous to your health. Sodium isn't unhealthy unless you have a condition like heart failure or high blood pressure, then it needs to be limited. It does, however, make you retain fluids which can make a weight loss journey more difficult (which is not what any of us need!) I hope you and your family can come to a more acceptable compromise!

    But, why does her family need to compromise further? She asked for "healthy" food, they were nice about it and attempted to accommodate her.

    OP has certain ideas (which are NOT universal) about the definition of "healthy" food. What's the big deal if her family didn't guess right about her definition? It's one meal. I really don't feel she needs to insult them.

    OP is an adult. She can bring her own food.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
    gothchiq wrote: »
    Because I feel you, I really do. I'm having to go to the inlaws place for Thanksgiving. The inlaws know and care NOTHING about nutrition, calories, blah blah. It's just a fat fest. I'm going to probably have a protein shake ahead of time to help me not be very hungry, so that I can eat small portions instead of going wild and then feeling like a miserable blob.

    It's not like there's any conversation to be had with the inlaws, either. They are, um, not terribly concerned with intellectual matters and have few interests, shall we say. My husband, who's a fairly brainy guy, is adopted and you can totally tell! lol. dreading it.

    Hey GC, if you're in the NY area, you can certainly drop by our TG dinner...never mind my GF's 'rents... my 22 y/o daughter will bend your ear for hours on politics, religion and sex, and everything near, far, around, or in-between. Last year she had a one-hour discussion with my GF's 89 y/o step-dad about Dante's Inferno and whether Lucifer was simply misunderstood. The following Saturday we will be in the Philly area at MY parents' with my bro and HIS family. More opinions at one table than Ann Landers had in her whole career. You should stop by!

    But at least the food is always awesome!

    muchly appreciated. I'm in North Carolina unfortch. But thank you for the invite!
  • grannynot
    grannynot Posts: 146 Member
    Ninjaeema wrote: »
    Maybe offer to come over and cook with your family?

    I agree that THIS is the way to handle it - show them a better (and yet just as tasty) way to prepare food! And how to broach that with the rest of the family?? "I found this great recipe for _______ that I want to try - let me bring that to dinner?"

  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    I can understand the frustration, but this definitely a suck it up and deal situation (by bringing food yourself, cooking with mom, just eating less, etc).

    My family is being 'forced' by an offer we couldn't reasonably refuse to have Thanksgiving at a friend's place. It wouldn't be any big deal, except that we have traditional recipes that are a really big deal to us and something we make only on this one day and really look forward to. In addition, our food tastes and the friends' food tastes are diametrically opposed. If we like something, they nearly always don't and vice versa. Worst yet, we've already proposed that we should bring a side dish or two and were completely shut down - in a way that it is clear that they will be somewhat offended if we do.

    So, we're going, and we're appreciative that we were invited. We'll eat and be thankful that we have thoughtful and generous friends. And, for once, we'll likely escape Thanksgiving in a deficit. Then we'll make it up the next day at home, because we'll be making the particular favorites we refuse to skip for another year. I NEED leftover turkey. Best part of Thanksgiving, in my opinion - making sandwiches from the leftovers.
  • cross2bear
    cross2bear Posts: 1,106 Member
    I dont know if my clan could be so gracious as to go to someone elses house for thanksgiving - we LOVE to have people join us, but I think our traditions mean so much to us that we couldnt even conceive of having it elsewhere. One year my parents were on an extended holiday and my sister and I and the rest of the family organized a dinner at a local restaurant - we are still taking flak for that!

    I agree about the leftovers - I make two turkeys - one for the actual meal, and one to carve up to give away to the kids and other relatives who want a hot turkey sandwich the next day. I send them home with a jarful of gravy, and stuffing too!