When you're "not fat but not skinny"...what does that even mean
Replies
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I think it's shorthand for "but not TOO skinny" by the standards of whoever is saying it.1
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »IDK why but when I hear "skinny" I automatically think of someone being underweight with little to no muscle mass..
I would think that if I heard it about a man, but I think of ultra lean women as skinny. Like I would call most popular female fitness instructors skinny even though they have their little muscle bulges.
Maybe it's generational...if I called my wife or her trainer or any of my other fitness lady friends "skinny", it would likely be the last word out of my mouth. IDK...athletic fitness bodies and 6 pack abs just doesn't seem to fit with "skinny"...3 -
Blondieeee26 wrote: »Seems to be a favorite unsolicited comment, that people love to throw at you for no reason. Considering "average" in America is a size 16 5'4" 160lb woman... I'm way below that and 5 inches taller. So what is considered skinny then?
I know exactly what you mean... the tone "well you are certainly not skinny" throw as the backhanded compliment of the year to somebody which looks like is in good shape.
I think you should reply back: "I don't want to lose weight at all. I don't think I am fat at all. As a matter of fact I am perfectly happy with my weight and the way I look". I might be a nice innocent comment but seems to me you didn't like it because of the tone it was told, right?
I try not to comment on anybody's weight even if they lose weight because sometimes they might not take it in a good way, specially on younger people. It's better that way.
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DoreenaV1975 wrote: »I get told I'm "too skinny" all the time...and usually by people who are fat. So I get really irritated that I can't respond w/ "Yeah? well you're too fat". God forbid I point out they're overweight, but it's perfectly okay for them to point out the opposite fact about me! It's definitely a double-standard when society has made it acceptable to be "skinny-shamed". And for the record I'm not "too skinny" I'm just much more "skinny" then I once was.
I flat out tell them they are being incredibly rude and it is not ok.
I need to start talking up at work and saying this stuff 'flat out', too.
I ended up snapping on a male coworker (who is incredibly overweight obese and nearing double my age) who keeps commenting on me. Told me I was 'showing bone' (my collarbones were starting to show), when I was in the upper range of healthy for my height.. Last week came up behind me to wrap his hand around my wrist and began commenting. I have extreeeemely small hands (think kids' gloves, even when I was overweight), and I don't like being touched either way. Totally inappropriate.
I have another older (nearly elder) coworker who makes comments literally every time he sees me. Goes out of his way to do it if he sees I am going for food at my lunch or something. Always comments that I can't possibly actually be eating... Etc etc. Agh.0 -
singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
Unfortunately, "skinny" seems to have become a thing to aspire to (likely due to impossibly photoshopped bodies in the media). Personally, I don't see any difference between the words "fat" and "skinny". They can both be used descriptively or perjoratively (and those who use them as insults are usually not very nice people).
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.1 -
SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.10 -
I need to start talking up at work and saying this stuff 'flat out', too.
I ended up snapping on a male coworker (who is incredibly overweight obese and nearing double my age) who keeps commenting on me. Told me I was 'showing bone' (my collarbones were starting to show), when I was in the upper range of healthy for my height.. Last week came up behind me to wrap his hand around my wrist and began commenting. I have extreeeemely small hands (think kids' gloves, even when I was overweight), and I don't like being touched either way. Totally inappropriate.
I have another older (nearly elder) coworker who makes comments literally every time he sees me. Goes out of his way to do it if he sees I am going for food at my lunch or something. Always comments that I can't possibly actually be eating... Etc etc. Agh.
Yes time to shut them... How annoying, and creepy.
Who touches anybody at work these days?
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VintageFeline wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.
Speak for yourself. I like to have an idea of what other people think of my figure. I find it interesting that so many people have told me that I need to stop losing weight. It's always people who have a much higher body fat % than I do. I just tell tem I'll stop losing weight when I stop being a disgusting fat body. That's pretty much like indirectly insulting them, since they have more fat than me. It leaves 'em speechless every time.3 -
VintageFeline wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.
Speak for yourself. I like to have an idea of what other people think of my figure. I find it interesting that so many people have told me that I need to stop losing weight. It's always people who have a much higher body fat % than I do. I just tell tem I'll stop losing weight when I stop being a disgusting fat body. That's pretty much like indirectly insulting them, since they have more fat than me. It leaves 'em speechless every time.
That's..........kind of hateful. But you do you boo.2 -
VintageFeline wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.
I'm with you. It doesn't really bother me that much when intended positively (whatever words are chosen) but it does seem socially inappropriate.
Skinny to me does seem like a negative word, but I know people who use it positively (oh, you are such a skinny minny said as a compliment).1 -
I see it as a kindness. Most of these people don't know why they think I should stop losing weight. My comment opens their eyes to the truth. They think dragging others down is easier than setting and reaching goals that would eliminate the self loathing they feel. Some people respond better with the cold hard truth than a half hearted pep talk.VintageFeline wrote: »VintageFeline wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.
Speak for yourself. I like to have an idea of what other people think of my figure. I find it interesting that so many people have told me that I need to stop losing weight. It's always people who have a much higher body fat % than I do. I just tell tem I'll stop losing weight when I stop being a disgusting fat body. That's pretty much like indirectly insulting them, since they have more fat than me. It leaves 'em speechless every time.
That's..........kind of hateful. But you do you boo.
If I'm wrong about how they truly view their body, it would have no affect on them emotionally.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »VintageFeline wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.
I'm with you. It doesn't really bother me that much when intended positively (whatever words are chosen) but it does seem socially inappropriate.
Skinny to me does seem like a negative word, but I know people who use it positively (oh, you are such a skinny minny said as a compliment).
The thing is. We don't always know why someone has gained/lost weight and mentioning it may bring up something that person is totally not ready/doesn't want to talk about with me or whoever is commenting. obviously if it's my best friend and I know she's trying to lose I might mention it but otherwise. Nope. None of my beeswax.2 -
I mostly agree with you, but I don't go around talking about my weight or goals, so if someone brings it up they should expect me to reply with my opinion. My opinion happens to be that I'm a disgusting fat body. If nothing else it will teach them to keep comments they find sensitive to themselves.VintageFeline wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »VintageFeline wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.
I'm with you. It doesn't really bother me that much when intended positively (whatever words are chosen) but it does seem socially inappropriate.
Skinny to me does seem like a negative word, but I know people who use it positively (oh, you are such a skinny minny said as a compliment).
The thing is. We don't always know why someone has gained/lost weight and mentioning it may bring up something that person is totally not ready/doesn't want to talk about with me or whoever is commenting. obviously if it's my best friend and I know she's trying to lose I might mention it but otherwise. Nope. None of my beeswax.
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Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.2 -
oliverneedsyou wrote: »Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.
I was gonna chime in but then almost changed my mind until I saw your post.
My husband, girlfriends, and some of my family call me "skinny" but it's meant in a complimentary way. You can tell by the way they say it.
One girlfriend that I see only once in a while will say "you skinny b---ch!" she means it as a compliment.
I was thinking its generational since we're all in our 50s and 60s and older, but apparently not.
Now, if someone says to me "you're TOO skinny", I know it's not meant as a compliment.
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frankiesgirlie wrote: »oliverneedsyou wrote: »Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.
I was gonna chime in but then almost changed my mind until I saw your post.
My husband, girlfriends, and some of my family call me "skinny" but it's meant in a complimentary way. You can tell by the way they say it.
One girlfriend that I see only once in a while will say "you skinny b---ch!" she means it as a compliment.
I was thinking its generational since we're all in our 50s and 60s and older, but apparently not.
Now, if someone says to me "you're TOO skinny", I know it's not meant as a compliment.
Yes. That's how it is here too. Perhaps it's a regional thing? I'm from the Midwest USA0 -
oliverneedsyou wrote: »frankiesgirlie wrote: »oliverneedsyou wrote: »Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.
I was gonna chime in but then almost changed my mind until I saw your post.
My husband, girlfriends, and some of my family call me "skinny" but it's meant in a complimentary way. You can tell by the way they say it.
One girlfriend that I see only once in a while will say "you skinny b---ch!" she means it as a compliment.
I was thinking its generational since we're all in our 50s and 60s and older, but apparently not.
Now, if someone says to me "you're TOO skinny", I know it's not meant as a compliment.
Yes. That's how it is here too. Perhaps it's a regional thing? I'm from the Midwest USA
It's tone of voice and who is saying it here in the UK. Can be complimentary, can be thinly veiled insult.3 -
VintageFeline wrote: »oliverneedsyou wrote: »frankiesgirlie wrote: »oliverneedsyou wrote: »Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.
I was gonna chime in but then almost changed my mind until I saw your post.
My husband, girlfriends, and some of my family call me "skinny" but it's meant in a complimentary way. You can tell by the way they say it.
One girlfriend that I see only once in a while will say "you skinny b---ch!" she means it as a compliment.
I was thinking its generational since we're all in our 50s and 60s and older, but apparently not.
Now, if someone says to me "you're TOO skinny", I know it's not meant as a compliment.
Yes. That's how it is here too. Perhaps it's a regional thing? I'm from the Midwest USA
It's tone of voice and who is saying it here in the UK. Can be complimentary, can be thinly veiled insult.
Great point!0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »IDK why but when I hear "skinny" I automatically think of someone being underweight with little to no muscle mass..
I would think that if I heard it about a man, but I think of ultra lean women as skinny. Like I would call most popular female fitness instructors skinny even though they have their little muscle bulges.
Maybe it's generational...if I called my wife or her trainer or any of my other fitness lady friends "skinny", it would likely be the last word out of my mouth. IDK...athletic fitness bodies and 6 pack abs just doesn't seem to fit with "skinny"...
Thankfully! Athletic body is a compliment. Skinny is not what I aspire to. I would like to be strong and in the midrange of "normal BMI".0 -
I want to be strong skinny.... I actually find it a huge compliment when people call me skinny. You can be muscular and strong while also being skinny. I'm a rock climber and aspire to be a strong, skinny athlete. If you look at the large majority of professional rock climbers they fit into this category. To each their own.2
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