None of that Sissy Rubbish

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. WHEN YOU ARE SAD -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry b@st@rd who
made you sad.

2. WHEN YOU ARE BLUE -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. WHEN YOU SMILE -- I will know you are plotting something that I want to be involved in.

4. WHEN YOU ARE SCARED -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. WHEN YOU ARE WORRIED -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until
you quit whining.

6. WHEN YOU ARE CONFUSED -- I will use little, tiny words.

7. WHEN YOU ARE SICK -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you
have.

8. WHEN YOU FALL -- I will probably point and laugh at your clumsy *kitten*.

9. THIS IS MY OATH.... I pledge it to the end 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth.
Remember:
A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body.
Let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel...


Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.