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I hate you when I hate myself..

Savagedistraction
Savagedistraction Posts: 312 Member
I think it comes as no surprise that we are often the most critical of others, the most sarcastic, and the most likely to gossip when we feel we are lacking and failing in our own lives. I have definitely been guilty of this behaviour at times and I'm really trying to keep it in check. I'm not saying I'm going to fake sunshine and rainbows to everybody, or that I'm going to abandon my witty sarcasm when it's appropriate. I think I'm going to start by just refraining from comment when I can tell someone is simply looking for attention, and try to think where that is coming from. Ask more questions. Check my reactions until I have more information. Above all, just trying to practice more tolerance and compassion. It's a struggle at times. When I feel ugly, or afraid, or lonely. That is when I'm most likely to be touchy and critical. So that's my honest analysis, and my plan to change my behaviour in times of stress. Anyone care to discuss their own struggles with this?
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Replies

  • Savagedistraction
    Savagedistraction Posts: 312 Member
    Lmao
  • Savagedistraction
    Savagedistraction Posts: 312 Member
    Yes. I'm trying too consciously have that honest conversation with myself. I find myself often belittling people who dont stick to workout plans, because deep down I fear my own failure as such.
  • Savagedistraction
    Savagedistraction Posts: 312 Member
    Well I do care. Not about everything or everyone but I try to be a good human being and that means having a modicum of respect for my fellow human beings. But I agree
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,235 Member
    Well I do care. Not about everything or everyone but I try to be a good human being and that means having a modicum of respect for my fellow human beings. But I agree

    yeah, I too tried that whole caring and respect thing; it didn't work for me.
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,562 Member
    I have one co-worker who insults everyone I work with basically everyday. She says things that everyone interprets as condescending. I have a short-lived sense of hatred towards her, when she says something to me or one of my other co-workers that is rude or condescending.

    I don't think she means to be so rude, but just has really bad social skills.

    I am trying to not feel hostile towards her when she makes her comments. To just be able to let it go and not get irritated. It does make it better to know that everyone feels the same way about this person, but still, I want to be indifferent to her remarks.
  • Savagedistraction
    Savagedistraction Posts: 312 Member
    edited April 2017
    I think it helps to just remeber that everyone has a story. Doesn't mean you have to befriend her, or like how she is, but the perspective makes it easier to let go. Besides, nobody is perfect
  • Savagedistraction
    Savagedistraction Posts: 312 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Well I do care. Not about everything or everyone but I try to be a good human being and that means having a modicum of respect for my fellow human beings. But I agree

    yeah, I too tried that whole caring and respect thing; it didn't work for me.
    Well it's not that I'm going to start being lovey dovey, it's more restraining myself from rudeness and judgement. Mostly because when I'm more likely to be that way it's because I'm feeling bad about myself. People with high self-esteem don't go around crapping on others.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,235 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Well I do care. Not about everything or everyone but I try to be a good human being and that means having a modicum of respect for my fellow human beings. But I agree

    yeah, I too tried that whole caring and respect thing; it didn't work for me.
    Well it's not that I'm going to start being lovey dovey, it's more restraining myself from rudeness and judgement. Mostly because when I'm more likely to be that way it's because I'm feeling bad about myself. People with high self-esteem don't go around crapping on others.

    That's true.

    Indifference is a virtue.
  • Savagedistraction
    Savagedistraction Posts: 312 Member
    Yeah it does. I feel like that often as well. Exercise helps. I injured my back at work and I've had to Curtail a lot of my training in the last week. It's getting better and I'm thankful for that, but when I can't exercise like I want it messes with my head and I find myself getting more negative. Nobody is sunshine and light all the time, but I try to remember that when I'm in a bad mood dragging others down is not a solution.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,428 Member
    I think it comes as no surprise that we are often the most critical of others, the most sarcastic, and the most likely to gossip when we feel we are lacking and failing in our own lives. I have definitely been guilty of this behaviour at times and I'm really trying to keep it in check. I'm not saying I'm going to fake sunshine and rainbows to everybody, or that I'm going to abandon my witty sarcasm when it's appropriate. I think I'm going to start by just refraining from comment when I can tell someone is simply looking for attention, and try to think where that is coming from. Ask more questions. Check my reactions until I have more information. Above all, just trying to practice more tolerance and compassion. It's a struggle at times. When I feel ugly, or afraid, or lonely. That is when I'm most likely to be touchy and critical. So that's my honest analysis, and my plan to change my behaviour in times of stress. Anyone care to discuss their own struggles with this?

    I have a tendency to isolate myself when I am stressed or upset. Meditation helps me recenter myself.

    Have you heard of THINK?
    "Is what I am saying, texting or typing True, Helpful, Important, Necessary, Kind?"
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    What I do is compare myself to someone else. Like, for example @MeeseeksAndDestroy I compare myself with him and think "ya know, I got it pretty good"

    I then go strolling confidently down the street like a young Mickey Rooney whistling a tune.

  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,851 Member
    Meh. I like most people more than I like myself.
    I treat them better too.

  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    What I do is compare myself to someone else. Like, for example @MeeseeksAndDestroy I compare myself with him and think "ya know, I got it pretty good"

    I then go strolling confidently down the street like a young Mickey Rooney whistling a tune.

    6ayrov3nqtzl.gif

    Ya know, after posting that meme... your profile pic when viewed at a distance.... kinda uncomfortable ifyouknowwhatImean.