Embarrassed about losing weight
CrystalJeanCorn
Posts: 13 Member
Hey guys random question... Has anyone else been embarrassed to admit they are trying to lose weight?
Outside of my close immediate family I have not told anyone I'm on a diet or trying to lose weight..
When I first decided to lose weight I would feel embarrassed buying salad or low calorie or no sugar items. I felt like I was being judged although no one said anythingand it was all in my head.
I've lost enough weight that it's obvious now but a coworker asked me last month if I was losing weight and I denied it.
If I'm offered cookies or pizza etc I will still accept and get rid of it later once no one can see I'm not going to eat it.
I guess I got so used to being the' fat one' that it feels weird to not accept food.
Wondering if I'm crazy or if people actually go through this. I'm so positive and happy about the choices I've made to improve my health but I still feel like I'm hiding.
Idk.. Can anyone relate?
Outside of my close immediate family I have not told anyone I'm on a diet or trying to lose weight..
When I first decided to lose weight I would feel embarrassed buying salad or low calorie or no sugar items. I felt like I was being judged although no one said anythingand it was all in my head.
I've lost enough weight that it's obvious now but a coworker asked me last month if I was losing weight and I denied it.
If I'm offered cookies or pizza etc I will still accept and get rid of it later once no one can see I'm not going to eat it.
I guess I got so used to being the' fat one' that it feels weird to not accept food.
Wondering if I'm crazy or if people actually go through this. I'm so positive and happy about the choices I've made to improve my health but I still feel like I'm hiding.
Idk.. Can anyone relate?
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Replies
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Yep! I can relate. I felt embarrassed for two reasons.
One; I have always been such a body confident person, a total badass, hot-heroine regardless of how heavy I was. I was embarrassed that people would misinterpret my desire to lose weight as being body-hate (I get it - being a healthy weight is body-love! This is a psychological thing). I didn't want anyone to think that my years of being confident about my body regardless of size was false.
Two; Fear of failure. I was reluctant to say I was actively trying to lose weight in case I failed. Losing weight IS an obvious thing to fail at, people can see if you are successful or not just by looking at you.
I am over it now, but I definitely relate.18 -
I can relate. I'm usually the one at the office everyone comes to for unhealthy snacks so suddenly trying to eat healthy but still be the snack buddy has been a difficult transition. Also, I find that others who are over weight at the office make comments like "why are you trying to lose weight, you're just fine how you are." I think my trying to change threatens there own comfort level of where they're at. I guess it's kind of a safety in numbers kind of thing. I've told some people I'm on a diet but not everyone. The drinking buddies are the hardest because I'm trying not to drink (can't afford all those extra calories) but I also know they won't get it. Drinking after work in NYC is just what you do. So I've had to avoid going out or get there first and order a "mock cocktail" of club soda with a splash of cranberry so it looks like I'm imbibing. I feel like hiding is just part of the process. We're remaking ourselves into someone new and eventually that will just become who we are and we won't have to hide but it's still a transition. Hang in there, you're not alone!8
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I don't think getting healthy and fit is something to be embarrassed about...9
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I'm a bit shy to tell all about it, but I do admit it if asked.
Can you reframe it in your mind? You're working on health, and weight-loss is a side benefit? If you turn down the food and someone asks why, it's because you're making sure you have balanced nutrition. If someone asks if you've lost weight, "Yes, I have. I've been focusing on my health, and feel great!"9 -
sarahlily78 wrote: »Yep! I can relate. I felt embarrassed for two reasons.
One; I have always been such a body confident person, a total badass, hot-heroine regardless of how heavy I was. I was embarrassed that people would misinterpret my desire to lose weight as being body-hate (I get it - being a healthy weight is body-love! This is a psychological thing). I didn't want anyone to think that my years of being confident about my body regardless of size was false.
Two; Fear of failure. I was reluctant to say I was actively trying to lose weight in case I failed. Losing weight IS an obvious thing to fail at, people can see if you are successful or not just by looking at you.
I am over it now, but I definitely relate.
Yes to ALL OF THIS. It's like "A-ha! You DO hate yourself!"
Nope, I've BEEN cute. I'm just trying be healthy now, too.
If anything, I feel a little anxious about losing weight because I do feel so comfortable in my body. Working on that.9 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »I don't think getting healthy and fit is something to be embarrassed about...
No, it's not the healthy and fit part that's embarrassing, but rather others noticing and commenting on my appearance. It finally happened that someone at work noticed and asked me about it very publicly. I felt like everyone present looked straight at my butt to see if it were smaller. Maybe they noticed my red face, since it hasn't happened again.5 -
You guys hit the nail on the head...
The fear of failure and the idea that I don't like myself currently... I guess change is a hard thing even when the change is positive.
I was one of those people who would say size does not define health, I had no health issues at my heaviest weight. But I can admit losing weight makes me feel so much better.
I'm not embarrassed to lose weight but I guess I'm focusing too much on what others think. I don't care about what others think for the most part for any other aspect of my life when it comes to my weight loss I worry people think I'm ashamed of my body or am being hypocritical.
I guess being a big girl has been such a huge part of my identity Im afraid maybe I'll lose some of me with the weight.
Or..... there was that crazy option which my rambling posts kind of support4 -
Focus on how good losing weight feels
Ignore what people have to say
Good luck and keep going3 -
I also have felt most of the time very good in my body and liked myself even if I am overweight.
I do feel the embarrassment if people notice/ask me about it. If they just say - hey, it looks like you have lost some weight, I don't mind that much, as most of the times I think it's not true (I know I have same weight for some time). Then I just laugh and say thanks. I think I feel embarrassed because if I have to explain it, it means that I have to admit that I have had problems with over-eating or not being active and I feel like I look bad about it.
It's harder when I want to say no to offered snacks at work or drinks/snacks/food at parties. Then I just switch on my logical mind and think of how can I snack as less as possible, I drink my drinks slowly or choose non alcoholic drink. I think I just try to incorporate the extra stuff that is around me in my lifestyle, because for me it's the truth, that I couldn't live only healthy without any side steps.
The only thing that bothers me about alcohol and party snacks is that even if I am in my calorie range, it always slows down my progress for almost a week. That's why I hate drinking while trying to lose weight. And it's kinda silly that I don't have "guts" to tell people to leave me be and let me have what I want.2 -
NEVER FEEL EMBARRASSED!!!! The fact that you're trying and that you're all working hard there is no reason to be embarrassed.
You all should be proud of yourselves. Losing weight is hard and the fact that u are trying so hard makes you a warrior. Screw anybody who messes with you cuz when u reach your goal you're going to be laughing at your haters.
And even if u don't meet your goal, body acceptance is hard but if u can't do it how will anyone else. Learn to love yourself no matter what. Ur made in God's image after all!2 -
I actually understand what you mean. I remember feeling like ordering a salad or something was drawing attention to my weight, or making me look like I FELT insecure. This was before MFP days though, when I was younger.
But don't feel embarrassed. You also don't have to talk about it though. You don't have to share, and if someone comments saying you look great just say "thank you" and if they ask you what you're doing a quick "oh, watching what I eat" should shut it down.2 -
To an extend. Initially I tol nobody about MFP - My husband only after three months. I did say that (as it was the new year) that I was taking a break from all sweets that were still around the office. Given the time of year most people did the same. From thereon I just kept doing it and as I only changed my food choices and learned to say no.
I don't tell people that I tried to loose weight but I will show them how. Plus I never ever said I was on a diet, because I am not. I simply changed my eating habits to match my lifestyle.2 -
I'm embarrassed to say and do not. I'm 10 lb more than my low weight in March which I have not done well at returning to.1
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*raises hand* Mostly my embarrassment comes from having started and stopped weight loss practices SO. MANY. TIMES. I don't want to disappoint myself as much as I don't want to have to tell others that. Also, I feel like there is such a strange stigma around weight loss these days. If I tell someone I want to eat healthy and/ or lose weight, sometimes people think that is an open to talk about body-positivity/ fat-shaming and sometimes that is just something that is not open for discussion with me.3
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Yes I have often felt this way. I think it is a bit like a driver's license test. You don't want to admit to going for it in case you fail and everyone will know!5
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*raises hand* Mostly my embarrassment comes from having started and stopped weight loss practices SO. MANY. TIMES. I don't want to disappoint myself as much as I don't want to have to tell others that. Also, I feel like there is such a strange stigma around weight loss these days. If I tell someone I want to eat healthy and/ or lose weight, sometimes people think that is an open to talk about body-positivity/ fat-shaming and sometimes that is just something that is not open for discussion with me.
This is me too. I have never really been open about trying to lose weight but I'm sure some people have noticed when I've tried in the past. Even if they don't know, I feel like the vast majority of people don't stick with it so everyone's thinking "Yeah right" if they find out.
I also despise unsolicited advice. I know so many people who sell different weight loss gimmicks. No I don't want to know about your drink, pill, or wrap. I don't want to hear how I should cut out all carbs or anything white.
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I have many cherished dreams. I pretend that nothing can dissuade me but the truth is that a harsh word can open a floodgate of doubt.
To protect my dreams I take care who I tell. I just do it.4 -
*raises hand* Mostly my embarrassment comes from having started and stopped weight loss practices SO. MANY. TIMES. I don't want to disappoint myself as much as I don't want to have to tell others that. Also, I feel like there is such a strange stigma around weight loss these days. If I tell someone I want to eat healthy and/ or lose weight, sometimes people think that is an open to talk about body-positivity/ fat-shaming and sometimes that is just something that is not open for discussion with me.
This is me in a nutshell. I'm also so afraid of failure. And if I'm 100% honest I know I can do betterand don't want others questioning my decisions.1 -
Hi everyone, I've started, and restarted and restarted many times. Didn't want to share with anyone for fear of failure. This last time, I made the decision to get healthy for myself. I would give time to everyone/everything else, so finally felt I'm worthy of the same effort, time and attention. I still haven't told anyone outside of my daughters (21 & 19). If someone notices, I just say 'thank you' and keep it moving. I don't diet, just make different lifestyle choices. If I want a salad, I'll have a salad, if I want a burger, I'll have a turkey burger. Having my MFP community has made all the difference to me staying encouraged and motivated. Thanks so much for sharing.
All this thread, feel free to add me.5 -
Try to think of it from a health perspective. No need to feel embarrassed about getting healthier. I think there's an increasing awareness of health all around currently. Should be okay to ride that wave without negativity I think.0
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