My journey journal

Lrlong82
Lrlong82 Posts: 85 Member
I am close to turning 35. Married. 2 kids (1 and 6). Professional Counselor in practice for almost 10 years. I have strong support through my large loving family. I love laughing, living and giving. I am a believer and proud to say that I live a blessed life because God has been good to me. I say all that first to help me keep things in perspective. During my annual history and physical my doctor gave me a talking to. I am 5'4 and 235lbs. Although I didn't gain any weight from last year, lab worked revealed that I am pre diabetic now because of my unhealthy life style. I have a sedatary job, I don't exercise and I eat whatever I want when ever I want. The news from my was kind of a bummer. Should be more motivation to lose weight though. Especially since my paternal grandfather passed away due to diabetic complications and my father is diabetic. Another motivator is my love for giving. I give my time, my counsel, my love and the love of Christ. I believe if I looked better than people would be more accepting of my offerings. Other motivators include modeling a healthy life style for my kids. But honestly, those are not the biggest reasons for my desire to lose weight. My motivation for weight loss is me. I want to look as good on the outside as I feel on the inside. I will admit that I am scared. I feel overwhelmed about the goals. And I already feel like giving up before I even start! So I started this journey journal to help me keep things in perspective. If you are reading this, I encourage you to share your journey with me too. Thanks for letting me share. God bless and fill in the blank!
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Replies

  • Lrlong82
    Lrlong82 Posts: 85 Member
    Thanks JeromeBarry1, for your encouraging words. Funny enough, when I put my goals into MFp, daily recommended calories was 1200!
  • Lrlong82
    Lrlong82 Posts: 85 Member
    BEen thinking about this for a couple days so I thought I'd share.
    My husband and I recently went on a cruise to the Bahamas. One of the excursions we went on was a 2 mile kayak tour. This was both of our first time and quite an experience. I remember being more than half way through and looking around at all of the water. Water in front of me, behind me, to the left and to the right. And then it hit me, I couldn't stop paddling if I wanted to. There was a distination I had to get to and that was how I was going to get there. I couldn't turn around. I couldn't walk away. I didn't have my car near by to drive off. And even if I stopped paddling, that would have really only been a break because I had to press on in order to get to my destination. I'll admit that I felt some anxiety about that for a second, like I was stuck in the middle of no where. But as I continued to paddle the anxiety subsided because I was back working towards my distination.
    I consider that the WHY for my weight loss needs to be like the distination on that kayak tour, do or die. Not that I was in any real or imminent danger of dying or that I want to be! I just want a reason that demands that I continue with healthy living. Even if I want to stop, or give up, if I lose my motivation or even lose support from others, I want a WHY that requires that I keep going inspite of because the only way I am going accomplish that WHY is to press on.
    With that being said, I honestly don't know WHY I'm doing this. Granted, there are numerous and unmeasurable benefits of being healthy. My first post was about some of them. And I hope to experience them, all of them. But as I think them over, I feel no since of urgency within myself. Nothing that I believe will hold my attention longer than a year. Nothing that will sustain me and keep me from returning to my old habits.
    So I guess my WHY for right now is "might as well ". When and if it changes I will share that as well.
  • Lrlong82
    Lrlong82 Posts: 85 Member
    Weight loss rewards:
    230 - hugs and kisses from hubby
  • Lrlong82
    Lrlong82 Posts: 85 Member
    I go back to something I heard once "you can have what you want. You just have to change your mind about what you want ". I am changing my mind about my goal weight. That comes from me changing my mind about dieting. I don't want to diet. I want a lifestyle change. Therefore my goal weight is a reflection of the lifestyle I want to live. My lifestyle for the past couple of years supported a weight of 235 lbs. But recent changes to my eating habits no longer support that weight. There are some additional changes I plan to make in the near future, specifically increasing my activity level. Not sure what weight this life style will sustain. But I'm certain its going to be better than before! God bless and focus on life, not weight.
  • spingirl605
    spingirl605 Posts: 181 Member
    I have bookmarked your post. I love that you're just telling your story! It is inspiring!! Congratulations on the recent loss...You've got this Lrlong82!! Just keep going...You're doing it, and you're doing great!! I am going to continue to check in on you...I hope more people read your story.

    Good luck and God bless!