We broke up because...

I couldn't get past the limp.... Not even the blue pills helped.

She said she couldn't love me , I wasn't italian

She spent too much money on shoes

She couldn't find Waldo

you insisted I could have carbs.

Didnt buy me a Korn shirt when he got his

he was too juicy...

he didn't like being told what do while dressed in leather and wearing a leash... geez whats wrong with that?

Only bought single ply toilet paper

Played nothing but Korn all of the time!

She took scissors to the string on my yo-yo.

she never stopped smiling.. it was kinda creepy sometimes.

Insecurity

She couldn't get aroused unless there were onions and garlic sautéed on the stove, thrash metal blaring on the stereo, and a big spotlight over the bed... It was quirky at first but I prefer hair bands and a strobe and she refuses to try it my way.

he had onion breath