What nobody tells you about losing weight
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How even after reading this whole thread and posts about relationships (so I was actually told about it) that I will not know how to go about this subject with my friend who also wants (and needs) to lose weight.
Our thing was that we would have these sort of "plans" like what we would do if we won the lottery or let's not drink alcohol for a while and one of the latest was - let's sort ourselves out weight-wise. So I stuck with it and she didn't. She doesn't have a lot to lose but because of her health problem she would benefit a lot. Now I'm totally into this and I think it's actually my consistency that she finds surprising more than anything. She is supportive and says things like "great job" but it's me who doesn't know how to balance my wanting to talk to her about my little wins and losses on the one hand and not wanting her to feel bad about herself, to feel like I'm pressuring her or being a smart *kitten*. It took a while for me to feel ready to actually log and exercise seriously so I can understand that she's not there yet. It's not affecting our friendship but sometimes I wish I could do it for her. And in a strange way I find my strength to be consistent because I secretly hope that if I follow through, she will be lead by my example.
Also, a few other people mentioned, the discipline and resolve do spill over into other areas of life which is definitely an added bonus.15 -
@sign_painter, sounds like your and your friend have a sweet and wonderful relationship that's mutually loving and supportive. Personally, I always believe that open communication is key to any healthy relationship. So, how would it be of you were to ASK HER how or if she wants you to talk with her abbot this issue? Maybe say something like, "Mary, I've been thinking about how we both embarked on this weight loss journey and now we seem to no longer be on the same page about it. Are you open you a conversation about it? If so, can you maybe tell me how you feel about it at your end? Feel free you tell me to shut up if you don't want to talk..." something like that. Potentially opens the line of communication without you sounding judgemental our critical. At least that would be my hope, and I would definitely want to pepper my end of the conversation with plenty of statements of "I really don't want to offend, and PLEASE tell me if I'm stepping over the line..." It's delicate! But sounds like you two really care about each other, so maybe worth a very CAREFUL try. Good luck! And CONGRATS TO YOU!!!13
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pennoxford wrote: »gymprincess1234 wrote: »kbivins1031 wrote: »How jealous people get who are overweight but don’t want to make changes. They shoot your happiness down.
Literally experienced this the other day. It's like you lost the weight and put it on them or something and should be blamed for their struggle.
Isn’t that strange?? People who are supportive generally and love me will look at me and not say a word. Some will say something mean about my clothes or shoes, and skip over the 80 pound loss. My favorite is the diet lecture from people who are fatter than I am—my diet is unsustainable or unhealthy, etc.. Why aren’t they just happy for me? I asked one family member how much weight she had lost, and when she told me I told her how good she looked, how great it was that she had gotten so far, etc. and she said NOTHING about me. I never would have expected that.
WTH?!?! You must look really good!!!! They just refuse to recognize it!
What mean things could they say about shoes and your clothes?
I had a very good friend and coworker and she had told me I am angry at you! I asked her Why?
She proceeded to tell me that now that you are losing all this weight and are changing it makes me feel like I should too!
Not many people can step back and verbalize those feelings.11 -
I tried to post this the other day for all my fellow cold all the time peeps, Wrangler makes fleece lined cargo pants, you can get them at Meijer in Michigan these days. First time I’ve been warm since August.12
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My alcohol tolerance has dropped significantly. I used to able to drink about 3 glasses of wine and any mixed drink before I get a buzz, but now after just 1 glass of wine I'm feeling almost drunk!
I had no idea my fats cells were "helping" me with my drinks. Also i can feel the effect of alcohol much more faster than before within 10-15 minutes. I'm so scared to take a shot of alchohol when I go out with friends. My friends offer to buy me second drinks and I always so no. I'm officially a cheap date thanks to the weight loss. 18 -
@birgitkwood
I agree with you regarding the importance of communication and thank you for your kind advice on how to actually start it!
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pennoxford wrote: »gymprincess1234 wrote: »kbivins1031 wrote: »How jealous people get who are overweight but don’t want to make changes. They shoot your happiness down.
Literally experienced this the other day. It's like you lost the weight and put it on them or something and should be blamed for their struggle.
Isn’t that strange?? People who are supportive generally and love me will look at me and not say a word. Some will say something mean about my clothes or shoes, and skip over the 80 pound loss. My favorite is the diet lecture from people who are fatter than I am—my diet is unsustainable or unhealthy, etc.. Why aren’t they just happy for me? I asked one family member how much weight she had lost, and when she told me I told her how good she looked, how great it was that she had gotten so far, etc. and she said NOTHING about me. I never would have expected that.
WTH?!?! You must look really good!!!! They just refuse to recognize it!
What mean things could they say about shoes and your clothes?
I had a very good friend and coworker and she had told me I am angry at you! I asked her Why?
She proceeded to tell me that now that you are losing all this weight and are changing it makes me feel like I should too!
Not many people can step back and verbalize those feelings.
I guess that’s it, because it doesn’t make sense in any other way. It’s just so strange to see people unhappy about my happiness—I don’t get it and yet I guess it’s a natural reaction.4 -
How suddenly people, whom have terrible eating habits, feel compelled to give me all of this dieting advice after they've seen my progress.13
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MrsPinterest34 wrote: »My alcohol tolerance has dropped significantly. I used to able to drink about 3 glasses of wine and any mixed drink before I get a buzz, but now after just 1 glass of wine I'm feeling almost drunk! I had no idea my fats cells were "helping" me with my drinks. Also i can feel the effect of alcohol much more faster than before within 10-15 minutes. I'm so scared to take a shot of alchohol when I go out with friends. My friends offer to buy me second drinks and I always so no. I'm officially a cheap date thanks to the weight loss.
Your cells get used to alcohol. They also get used to the lack of alcohol.
A friend of mine can pack away vodka like you wouldn't believe (she's 168cm and 50kg soaking wet). Me... one shot and I'm under the table. I haven't really touched alcohol in 2 years and I used to be at around 1 bottle of red wine per day. Now one glass makes me tipsy.
It just means I end up as designated driver more often than not
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Nobody told me that while I may begin to get used to my new size, the anxiety over getting weighed at the doctor's office does not go away, or that suddenly a .4 or .6 uptick between appointments (a week or 2 apart) would start a new round of anxiety about whether I was going to face a lecture. It's silly but old habits die hard. I was berating myself for eating and drinking before the appointment, like that makes a huge difference.13
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ladyreva78 wrote: »MrsPinterest34 wrote: »My alcohol tolerance has dropped significantly. I used to able to drink about 3 glasses of wine and any mixed drink before I get a buzz, but now after just 1 glass of wine I'm feeling almost drunk! I had no idea my fats cells were "helping" me with my drinks. Also i can feel the effect of alcohol much more faster than before within 10-15 minutes. I'm so scared to take a shot of alchohol when I go out with friends. My friends offer to buy me second drinks and I always so no. I'm officially a cheap date thanks to the weight loss.
Your cells get used to alcohol. They also get used to the lack of alcohol.
A friend of mine can pack away vodka like you wouldn't believe (she's 168cm and 50kg soaking wet). Me... one shot and I'm under the table. I haven't really touched alcohol in 2 years and I used to be at around 1 bottle of red wine per day. Now one glass makes me tipsy.
It just means I end up as designated driver more often than not
Oh, I know for me I've become much more of a lightweight with the weight loss. I used to have no issue killing a couple bottle of wine when I was 330+ (might be part of the reason I was 330+). Did not do it daily or even weekly, but had no trouble doing it at times.
No more. And I notice when I do drink a bit (4-5 beers), it takes me 2 days to recover.
Christmas party this week and I will definitely drink a lot less than last year.6 -
I was able to wear my daughter's skinny jeans! She now wants to wear my clothes.15
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What do people mean when they say sleeping/sitting will become more and more uncomfortable? Isn't it the opposite? Lots of obese people have sleep disorders that go away after weight loss.
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What do people mean when they say sleeping/sitting will become more and more uncomfortable? Isn't it the opposite? Lots of obese people have sleep disorders that go away after weight loss.
You're right in regards to weight related sleep disorders, but other things come into play instead. Because your 'padding' disappears, bones make everything more uncomfortable. That harder mattress digs into your hip bones, your knees knock when you lie on your side, your coccyx/tailbone hurts if you sit on a hard surface or slouch in your chair.
Also, the being cold all the freakin' time thing doesn't help when trying to sleep in Winter.
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Speaking of sleeping, I've had this weird thing happen where the sides of my waist have shrunk but my shoulders and hips have stayed the same. The padding I used to have on my waist is gone so it kind of collapses when I sleep on my side (always). I've had pretty serious back/muscle pain at just the waist level for about three weeks now. Seems I'm finally going to have to become a back sleeper.6
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Speaking of sleeping, I've had this weird thing happen where the sides of my waist have shrunk but my shoulders and hips have stayed the same. The padding I used to have on my waist is gone so it kind of collapses when I sleep on my side (always). I've had pretty serious back/muscle pain at just the waist level for about three weeks now. Seems I'm finally going to have to become a back sleeper.
Try a pillow between your knees.6 -
Love this post! 2
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Speaking of sleeping, I've had this weird thing happen where the sides of my waist have shrunk but my shoulders and hips have stayed the same. The padding I used to have on my waist is gone so it kind of collapses when I sleep on my side (always). I've had pretty serious back/muscle pain at just the waist level for about three weeks now. Seems I'm finally going to have to become a back sleeper.
Try a pillow between your knees.
I've had the same issues. But I haven't built up my back/core muscles enough yet, and my shoulders collapse in forward when I lay on my side, as well. I've taken a king sized pillow and used it as a body pillow to not only support between my knees, but to prop up my chest/shoulders as well. That seems to help.3 -
mangrothian wrote: »What do people mean when they say sleeping/sitting will become more and more uncomfortable? Isn't it the opposite? Lots of obese people have sleep disorders that go away after weight loss.
You're right in regards to weight related sleep disorders, but other things come into play instead. Because your 'padding' disappears, bones make everything more uncomfortable. That harder mattress digs into your hip bones, your knees knock when you lie on your side, your coccyx/tailbone hurts if you sit on a hard surface or slouch in your chair.
Also, the being cold all the freakin' time thing doesn't help when trying to sleep in Winter.
Yeah, being cold and feeling my tailbone all the time isn't nearly the same as things like sleep apnea. Still it's a thing.1 -
Speaking of sleeping, I've had this weird thing happen where the sides of my waist have shrunk but my shoulders and hips have stayed the same. The padding I used to have on my waist is gone so it kind of collapses when I sleep on my side (always). I've had pretty serious back/muscle pain at just the waist level for about three weeks now. Seems I'm finally going to have to become a back sleeper.
Me too!
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