Do we eat to hurt ourselves?
PamelaR64
Posts: 10 Member
During a recent emotional binge, I wondered if I was eating to hurt myself. Women who hurt/self-injure themselves seem to have many of the same reasons/causes those of us who binge or emotionally eat do. I have an appointment with my therapist today and I plan to ask him his opinion...
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Great question. I never thought of it as hurting myself but just not caring about myself. I can see how they can be the same. Let me know what your therapist says.2
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I know the answer for me is a solid yes. I've been upset and hurting and eaten and eaten and the food starts to hurt and feel bad but I keep eating. That's self-harm. I have used food as a coping mechanism for a long time but I absolutely think it can be negative too. For example the times I insisted on eating this pre-popped popcorn that tasted good but made me sick. Luckily I've been working on it and it's gotten a lot better.10
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Yes. Sadly, I'm doing it right now.7
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Put it down and walk away. You deserve better!4
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During a recent emotional binge, I wondered if I was eating to hurt myself. Women who hurt/self-injure themselves seem to have many of the same reasons/causes those of us who binge or emotionally eat do. I have an appointment with my therapist today and I plan to ask him his opinion...
This is a very deep question. I hope you learn the answers that you are looking for and that will help you in some way.
I think this applies to men as well as to women. As I got older, I had a revelation about my over-eating/emotional eating. I realized that when I was younger and single, I used my weight (via my over-eating/emotional eating) as a barrier, excuse and rationale for not getting too emotionally involved in a relationship or committed. I would say to myself that I was unattractive (obese) and therefore not worthy .... Took me a long time to work this out in my own head. Funny and sad the games we play with ourselves.13 -
I guess, it is a way of self-harming, and we don't always see the self harm first hand but certainly feel it a day later or the same day/night.
When I have had a bad evening, it really affects me the next day. I feel guilty, feel despondent and feel exhausted or depressed. then I repeat the same pattern because I feel despondent...so it is a pattern of behaviour that is very destructive...6 -
I always ask myself, "Why don't I love myself?". If I really cared about myself I wouldn't eat until my stomach hurts and still continue to pig out.2
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As someone who has self-harmed in several ways over time, I agree with this. I find myself bouncing between cutting, binging, substance abuse, starving and over-exercising and I do believe they are all linked.
I'm learning to look after myself and over time and through practice now some of my self-care activities are to take long salt baths by candlelight, do some deep stretching, take a walk in nature, have hot drinks and a chat with a friend, watch inspirational youtubers, play on the sims , write in my journal, make a collage.. It keeps getting easier to choose the caring over the harming activities.11 -
Hey everyone, I love that this is a topic even though I know it can be a difficult one to discuss. I used alcohol and prescription medication for years to cope with my pain until I got clean and sober on 11/3/16. Slowly but surely, I began to turn to food to fill that void. I spent all of last Summer working and then binge eating until I could barely move. It’s better now, but there are still times when I can’t stop myself. I hope everyone is able to find better ways to cope and can find some peace. If anyone needs support or just someone to talk to, feel free to add me.11
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Yes, that's how I started to think of it. As punishment. I'm looking for an excuse to be angry with myself, to hate myself (because I already am/do), so when I eat excessively I give myself one.6
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Oh my goodness ! Reading your posts is like a revelation ! I don’t feel so alone now . I know I self harm by using food as a tool to hurt me . I either eat way too much or starve myself for days and days . It can’t be any good for my health but I’ve been like this for years and years .
To say I’m stressed is an understatement and I either try to hurt myself with food or alcohol or prescription drugs ! Atm it’s food ! Couple of years ago I lost 140lb and I felt so good for once in my sad life ! Then I found out that my husband of 30 years had gone behind my back and betrayed me and that was that ! 160lb put on and now I’m feeling awful and I hate myself ! I really don’t feel worthy of anyone’s love and his actions just confirmed that what I thought was true love was just a lie . Thus confirming that I am not worthy of anyone caring about me ! Even myself !
It would be nice to get support from like minded people who kinda understand where I’m coming from .14 -
Yes, that's how I started to think of it. As punishment. I'm looking for an excuse to be angry with myself, to hate myself (because I already am/do), so when I eat excessively I give myself one.
I agree so much with this. There is always an element of capitulation when I binge, it’s me giving up on myself. It is a form of self-harm. None of us would ever treat another person this way...
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That's a good question to ask for more info! I eat to punish my body so I would say yes, I also self harm all due to ill health. I go into a difference zone were I have know control. I'll never understand me & food!0
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Yes it definitely feels like self harm. I wake up the next day in despair, not knowing what to do... but I think it isn't always simply about greed.... white flour is highly addictive, so I am going to avoid this and see if it helps3
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For me it's not quite self-harm but more an act of rebellion. I'm stressed out trying to fulfill many obligations, trying to be a "good person," a "responsible person," and letting my perfectionist streak call the shots? Yea, something breaks eventually and it's like I suddenly view healthy eating as another obligation and I buck it HARD out of some bizarre act of reclaiming my choices. It feels like I'm rebelling or liberating in the moment, but then later I just feel gross bc often I get a sugar crash or didn't even enjoy the actual food. I've been working on relaxing and saying no more often and it has helped with this urge but it still crops up. Does this make any sort of sense?9
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For me it's not quite self-harm but more an act of rebellion. I'm stressed out trying to fulfill many obligations, trying to be a "good person," a "responsible person," and letting my perfectionist streak call the shots? Yea, something breaks eventually and it's like I suddenly view healthy eating as another obligation and I buck it HARD out of some bizarre act of reclaiming my choices. It feels like I'm rebelling or liberating in the moment, but then later I just feel gross bc often I get a sugar crash or didn't even enjoy the actual food. I've been working on relaxing and saying no more often and it has helped with this urge but it still crops up. Does this make any sort of sense?
Wow. I never would have thought of it that way but it seriously feels like you crawled inside my brain and formed my jumbled thoughts into a coherent sentence that I wouldn't have been able to say. This is exactly it. I'm not a rebellious person by nature, so I don't want to "hurt" anyone else with any act of rebellion, but hurting myself doesn't count.
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for me I feel a sense of calm after eating. Usually my binges and emotional eating occur during times of extreme stress. I'm in survival mode. I'm not sure why yet but I do know that, THAT is what I'm doing.5
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I always feel that there's a point where eating crosses over from simply out of control to deliberately (not exactly deliberate but subconsciously deliberate) self destruction. It almost feels like a punishment sometimes. But it's not that simple. Sometimes it feels like a lifeline or tbe only available comfort. If it always felt bad it would be easier to stop.4
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For me it's not quite self-harm but more an act of rebellion. I'm stressed out trying to fulfill many obligations, trying to be a "good person," a "responsible person," and letting my perfectionist streak call the shots? Yea, something breaks eventually and it's like I suddenly view healthy eating as another obligation and I buck it HARD out of some bizarre act of reclaiming my choices. It feels like I'm rebelling or liberating in the moment, but then later I just feel gross bc often I get a sugar crash or didn't even enjoy the actual food. I've been working on relaxing and saying no more often and it has helped with this urge but it still crops up. Does this make any sort of sense?
YES!
Totally this. I think growing up very religiously and restrictively, having a dairy intolerance and having healthy heating shoved on me heavily by my mother and watched all the time all feeds into my rebelliousness and self destruction.
27, still living at home with my parents and my partner.....and sometimes eating what I want is the only thing I can control, and only when nobody else is around.
How messed up is that?!
I was also talking to my psychologist about why I eat tons of dairy at the moment in a self destructive manner.
I used to think it was self protection....like, if I get fat and unattractive means men won’t abuse me ever again....
BUT.
Possibly, it may be that I am SO certain that my partner will cheat or leave me one day, that in a really messed up way I’m taking control of the situation by making myself unattractive so that if/when he does, the reason for it is my lack of attractiveness and not my personality etc.
In a way it’s just a way to control the situation and prepare myself for something that may never happen.
So it’s a kind of protection.
But it’s just a theory!
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Over eating does harm us. I think its more that it is a maladaptive behaviour in which we are still trying to find comfort in. That is it worked as a comfort once and we return to it hoping/not even thinking really, that it will reward us in the same way.
Addiction is all about behaviours that have become harmful and which we are finding almost impossible to stop even though we are aware. They require effort on our part to change. Change is never easy.4