In need of a guys opinion

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Replies

  • Duchy82
    Duchy82 Posts: 560 Member
    edited April 2018
    At the end of the day whether you are 100 lb or 600lb or anything in between, have a washboard stomach, a little belly or a lot of belly there will be someone out there who will find you attractive. The amazing thing is that not everyone is attracted to the same aesthetic. This is what makes things interesting, the variety of shapes and sizes we come in and what each and everyone of use likes and dislikes.

    I realise that you are insecure about yourself and what you need to do is start finding things that you like about yourself and get your self esteem up and then that little part of yourself you are not happy about will not be as bad, you can still work on that off course but it can't rule your life.

    You don't need validation from others your need, validation from yourself so start working on that. At the end of the day being a strong, independent women who is self assured is far more attractive than a needy, insecure one regardless of her looks.
  • ccsernica
    ccsernica Posts: 1,040 Member
    You're fine.

    No matter what the shape of your body, you are fine. Don't place your sense of self-worth in the hands of others, especially not those who will judge you by your appearance. They don't know you just by looking at you, and they don't know what you are worth.
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
    Do you really think a womans belly looks like a sunken in matress naturally? No! A woman holds in her stomach with her muscles, given that she has gotten rid of significant body fat.
    Hold in your stomach and stand up straight and I can bet you are fine!
    A quality man looks for an individual with confidence and self worth. You are not there yet.
    At this point of insecurity all you will find is users and bottom of the barrel. Nothing but misery!
    Wait and work hard on you and your future will folliw.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    I will agree with some of the above that different guys will be attracted to different things. Some will rule you out on hair color alone.

    You are 18 and you are quite likely not the best version of yourself yet and I don't mean body. Many guys your age are in the same boat. Unless you are living under a rock there is probably a guy out there right now that likes you but he may be too insecure to do anything about it. Then there are some guys that age who are only interested in girls that are more gullible.

    You are probably only ready to meet your next ex-boyfriend right now and that is okay. Dating at your age should be viewed more like a educational course. You are learning what you like, what you don't like, how to behave, and what relationship you looks like. If you are smart you will learn and the next time around you will be a better version of yourself. This will continue until you meet someone really special but that may be 7 years down the road for all you know.

    My point is don't get too invested in guys right now. They are likely still learning themselves. I wasn't ready for my wife when I was that age.

    The other thing is make them measure up to your standards not the other way around. You have to be in control of you and you have to believe that you deserve to be happy or you truly do need counseling.
  • sjulez26
    sjulez26 Posts: 57 Member
    Thanks everyone
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    You post here asking specifically for outside validation, yet you also say that you never believe anyone. I'm not trying to put you down, I just want to point out that you've set up a paradigm by which you can never feel good about yourself. You need to learn not to look to an unreliable (that you don't even believe) source for validation.