What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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quiksylver296 wrote: »That sometimes I get a little vain. I realize that I now wear clothes to show off my butt, back, and shoulders instead of wearing clothes to hide myself.
My wardrobe has also gotten a lot more colorful instead of my nearly all black attire that was my staple when I was obese.
Yes! I want my shoulders showing at all times!
I just bought a set of strappy tops I couldn't really afford purely because I want the world to see my collarbones. I WORKED for these, darnit, and you're gonna appreciate them!29 -
-My mood stays mostly elevated...in spite of difficult circumstances. Everything seems possible.
-I'm at an 80#-loss right now, and I remember how emotional I was before I began. Every little thing would be a huge hurdle. I can't wait to see what the next 80#-loss will do for my self-esteem. Omg!32 -
How annoying shopping for dress clothes is going to be.
I work in a school, and was asked if I would help out at graduation this Saturday. I said yes, and then later realized I had no dress clothes for the ceremony that fit. So I went to JCPenney after work. There were no size 28 dress pants, only 30 and higher. So I grabbed the only 30 they had.
My neck size measures in a 15", but I have a naturally wide chest at 40". So the dress shirts in a neck size 15 were way too tight in the chest, so I ended up having to go up in the neck size just to get a shirt that fit.
$200 later, and I now have dress clothes that kind of fit me...16 -
That I'd end up having to pay to get my kilt retailored and not just altered. But it looks good!
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- How great plain food tastes when you're hungry
- How nice it is to NOT snuggle hips with your row mate on public transport.
- How much taller you look
- I have copd and am on xxygen 24/7. A highest weight I needed oxygen flow of 5. 98 pounds later, I am down to 3 flow. And can walk much further
- Being able to bend over and pick things up off the floor without making a strategy and plan.
- Being able to buy chairs and workout equipment without checking the weight limit
- Being able to get in and out of the back seat of a car without getting so winded
- Being able to walk and carry on a conversation at the same time
- Having a jawline
- Being able to see your junk without a mirror. (The opposite is my great-aunt's definition of how to know you need to lose weight.)34 -
catebonarrigo wrote: »1) As someone who has lost over 100 pounds and kept it off for like 5 years (until I had another baby) I am always incredibly frustrated by the fact even if I look good in my clothes I do not and will not ever look good in a bathing suit or naked with out lots of surgery...
2) I do not feel better mentally or physically because I lost weight.
3) I still think I am a fat person
Yes. I’m feeling the exact same thing.
In hopes this helps you both, I will share that I went through a period where I felt like this. I actually saw a counselor about it, as my self-loathing was getting worse and worse even though I'd lost a lot of weight and kept it off. This turned up some very significant underlying issues, and I spent a year actively working through them with a therapist and I am one of those people who really doesn't believe in that sort of thing - but I believe now, because it helped immensely. *IF* you decide to go the route of counseling, find someone you like. I had to try 3 before I found mine. My work had an employee assistance program so it was free, but honestly the rewards were so great that knowing what I know now, if work DIDN'T pay for it and I had an issue, I'd see a counselor.
That being said... I also searched and read a lot on the subject of body image. One of the things that really stuck with me, and I keep it bookmarked in my phone so I can always pull it up if I'm feeling badly about how I look, was an article and blog post by Lauren Fleshman.
https://www.runnersworld.com/runners-stories/a20789986/lets-keep-it-real-about-our-bodies/
What I can offer to you is that, THIS TOO SHALL PASS. But there are some things you can do to speed the process along. Embrace your body for what it can do and how you CAN move in it. Tell yourself you look great. Recognize you *aren't* overweight and celebrate your accomplishment. Frustration will come, all the time, BUT... find ways to kick it out of your mind quickly (this is where counseling helped me) or else it will drag you back to where you started.31 -
No one tells you that
- As you lose weight, you'll also lose some friends... BUT you'll gain new ones!
- Your EYES will look SO much bigger in photos!
- Some friends and family, who don't see you often, will still think of you/remember you as the big one... so when they mistake the larger brunette for you in a Facebook photo, or even in real life, resist the urge to smack them
- It's up to you to tell people how best to support you, and realize that not everyone is going to be supportive.
- The only opinion that matters is YOURS, so find a way to love yourself enough to respect what you say to yourself. If you wouldn't say it to a friend, don't say it to yourself.
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How annoying shopping for dress clothes is going to be.
I work in a school, and was asked if I would help out at graduation this Saturday. I said yes, and then later realized I had no dress clothes for the ceremony that fit. So I went to JCPenney after work. There were no size 28 dress pants, only 30 and higher. So I grabbed the only 30 they had.
My neck size measures in a 15", but I have a naturally wide chest at 40". So the dress shirts in a neck size 15 were way too tight in the chest, so I ended up having to go up in the neck size just to get a shirt that fit.
$200 later, and I now have dress clothes that kind of fit me...
Go online, I found a women's suit maker that will custom make my suits (jacket & trousers/skirt) for about $200-400. They also make everything else from shirts to coats, all by my measurements. I am certain that there are men's suit makers that will make custom fitted clothes online.3 -
catebonarrigo wrote: »1) As someone who has lost over 100 pounds and kept it off for like 5 years (until I had another baby) I am always incredibly frustrated by the fact even if I look good in my clothes I do not and will not ever look good in a bathing suit or naked with out lots of surgery...
2) I do not feel better mentally or physically because I lost weight.
3) I still think I am a fat person
Yes. I’m feeling the exact same thing.
I sometimes still feel that way. I am having a tummy-tuck though. When I first started I calculated my grocery bill, as I was eating less my grocery bills went down: 3 years later and I saved up enough from just not buying as much food to pay for my belly flap to be removed. Also, if it's prone to infection, insurance may cover some of it (they are covering 50% of mine) as preventative care.17 -
catebonarrigo wrote: »1) As someone who has lost over 100 pounds and kept it off for like 5 years (until I had another baby) I am always incredibly frustrated by the fact even if I look good in my clothes I do not and will not ever look good in a bathing suit or naked with out lots of surgery...
2) I do not feel better mentally or physically because I lost weight.
3) I still think I am a fat person
Yes. I’m feeling the exact same thing.
In hopes this helps you both, I will share that I went through a period where I felt like this. I actually saw a counselor about it, as my self-loathing was getting worse and worse even though I'd lost a lot of weight and kept it off. This turned up some very significant underlying issues, and I spent a year actively working through them with a therapist and I am one of those people who really doesn't believe in that sort of thing - but I believe now, because it helped immensely. *IF* you decide to go the route of counseling, find someone you like. I had to try 3 before I found mine. My work had an employee assistance program so it was free, but honestly the rewards were so great that knowing what I know now, if work DIDN'T pay for it and I had an issue, I'd see a counselor.
That being said... I also searched and read a lot on the subject of body image. One of the things that really stuck with me, and I keep it bookmarked in my phone so I can always pull it up if I'm feeling badly about how I look, was an article and blog post by Lauren Fleshman.
https://www.runnersworld.com/runners-stories/a20789986/lets-keep-it-real-about-our-bodies/
What I can offer to you is that, THIS TOO SHALL PASS. But there are some things you can do to speed the process along. Embrace your body for what it can do and how you CAN move in it. Tell yourself you look great. Recognize you *aren't* overweight and celebrate your accomplishment. Frustration will come, all the time, BUT... find ways to kick it out of your mind quickly (this is where counseling helped me) or else it will drag you back to where you started.
Thank you for taking the time to share this. It made me want to rant out a little bit just to get things out of my chest.
In my entire life after grade 3, I have only been in healthy weight categories for 4 months. Then broke to my personal high of 285lb. It was an akward day going to the tailors with friends to get new suits for another buddy's wedding. Steeping on the scale for the first time in 3 years and realized I am 30lb heavier than I thought I was.
I am now 213lb. With 15% body fat between 24 to 25 bmi. I have hit the goals and readjust them again and again. Yet the joy or the rise in self esteem as many people had expressed started to diminished. I am still loosing but felt lost. I pinch around my core and felt the inches of fat between my fingers and wonder wt*. I mean everything should be ok now with great blood test results, average body fat percentage (though slightly high bmi), but those inches of fat from the past sit there making the statement that I am still fat and obese no matter what had happened.
Anyhow thank you for reading my long rant. Feels a little better telling the world about it.
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Go online, I found a women's suit maker that will custom make my suits (jacket & trousers/skirt) for about $200-400. They also make everything else from shirts to coats, all by my measurements. I am certain that there are men's suit makers that will make custom fitted clothes online.
I would of loved doing that, but I only had a 4 day notice.5 -
How annoying shopping for dress clothes is going to be.
I work in a school, and was asked if I would help out at graduation this Saturday. I said yes, and then later realized I had no dress clothes for the ceremony that fit. So I went to JCPenney after work. There were no size 28 dress pants, only 30 and higher. So I grabbed the only 30 they had.
My neck size measures in a 15", but I have a naturally wide chest at 40". So the dress shirts in a neck size 15 were way too tight in the chest, so I ended up having to go up in the neck size just to get a shirt that fit.
$200 later, and I now have dress clothes that kind of fit me...
I think I mentioned this earlier in this thread, but it could have been in another similar one. I think when we lose from a higher weight/size, we end up shaped different than most people that size. Not different enough to look freaky, but the right sized waist expects smaller legs and/or a higher crotch. I am somewhere between a regular and trim fit medium shirt now; neither is quite right. Both are close enough and I can find pants that work, but i rarely get the satisfaction of finding something that fits perfectly.4 -
CarvedTones wrote: »How annoying shopping for dress clothes is going to be.
I work in a school, and was asked if I would help out at graduation this Saturday. I said yes, and then later realized I had no dress clothes for the ceremony that fit. So I went to JCPenney after work. There were no size 28 dress pants, only 30 and higher. So I grabbed the only 30 they had.
My neck size measures in a 15", but I have a naturally wide chest at 40". So the dress shirts in a neck size 15 were way too tight in the chest, so I ended up having to go up in the neck size just to get a shirt that fit.
$200 later, and I now have dress clothes that kind of fit me...
I think I mentioned this earlier in this thread, but it could have been in another similar one. I think when we lose from a higher weight/size, we end up shaped different than most people that size. Not different enough to look freaky, but the right sized waist expects smaller legs and/or a higher crotch. I am somewhere between a regular and trim fit medium shirt now; neither is quite right. Both are close enough and I can find pants that work, but i rarely get the satisfaction of finding something that fits perfectly.
Very true. Since I've dropped a lot of weight I've needed to buy 2 suits on separate occasions and in both cases I've had to buy separate jackets from trousers as the jackets would fit perfectly but the trousers that came in the set I couldn't get past my knees! Not a massive issue but it limits your choices if you don't want to spend too much knowing you'll literally wear it once and then it won't fit at all the next time you need a suit3 -
I think I posted here back in the winter about how much colder you feel, but now it's summer and time for the corollary:
You'll stop hating hot weather and start loving it.19 -
I've lost a lot, but it's amazing how many people (who have not list weight, including those who are currently trying) think they know better and try to give me advice (I just nod and smile and then ignore it)16
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The GOOD -
I'll see a picture and may not even recognize myself. When I do sometimes I'll think damn...I look GOOD
I can fit in normal chairs/booths/etc and not worry about where I'm sitting anymore
I sleep better
I have more energy and less ailments
The BAD -
If you ever eat something unhealthy or too much food, people close to you may feel inclined to make comments about how you will gain your lost weight back, or remind you that you lost weight and shouldn't be eating that
Loose skin - I still look super fat in areas that I'm not super fat in
That's all for the bad. It's almost entirely good.
The absolutely terrible lol I carried a lot of weight around my midsection and even tho my thighs are barely 20" around I have to shop for my loose skin waist size. Shorts are hilarious.6 -
catebonarrigo wrote: »1) As someone who has lost over 100 pounds and kept it off for like 5 years (until I had another baby) I am always incredibly frustrated by the fact even if I look good in my clothes I do not and will not ever look good in a bathing suit or naked with out lots of surgery...
2) I do not feel better mentally or physically because I lost weight.
3) I still think I am a fat person
Man oh man. I have also lost over 100lbs and this is not going away. When I was fat I thought I was thinner and now that I'm thinner I think I'm fatter. What a cruel world.22 -
I've lost a lot, but it's amazing how many people (who have not list weight, including those who are currently trying) think they know better and try to give me advice (I just nod and smile and then ignore it)
Yep. No matter how much detail you go into as well, so many cannot comprend that simply eating fewer calories than you use works. They always insist on some crackpot diet will work better.
Now if someone else has great results, I am willing to listen as I may learn something new that I can incorporate.7 -
ridiculous59 wrote: »The upside? How happier I am in the day-to-day. I feel lighter mentally and physically.
The downside? My face feels wrinklier without the extra padding to push it out!
When I first lost my weight (90 pounds) my face looked so old and I was kind of disappointed. But now, almost a year later, it seems as though things have sorted themselves out and parts of my face have filled out again. I don't know how that could happen. But I'm glad it did.
I just started a thread worrying about this. lol
This helps, thank you.8
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