OH won’t eat vegetables. Any advice for my own health?
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DancingMoosie wrote: »So what does he eat? A plate of meat? I fix whatever vegetable side I want for dinner each night. My husband may or may not like it or eat it. He usually at least tries it. So, whatever is left over can be added to my lunch the next day. No waste.
He likes burgers with burgers, chicken Kiev with waffles and pizza with garlic bread. His idea of ‘home cooking’ is a jar sauce over chicken with microwave.
I’ve tried online food shopping as a way of buying fruit and veg in as he’s really impatient and won’t go near the fruit and veg aisles. I’ll look at frozen veg as a way to work this out. I made a lasagne recently and blended up a couple of peppers and a courgette to get more veg in to it. I don’t have time to do that every weekend
Divide and conquer. Ask him to go pick out meats and stuff while you shop for fruits and veg.9 -
DancingMoosie wrote: »Burgers with burgers? Lol. He doesn't have to shop with you...mine doesn't. Just get what you want. I mostly eat fresh. I find a lot of frozen veggies get mushy.
He doesn’t have to shop with me but he lives at home and I work away during the week so get home Friday evening and usually leave on a Sunday evening or Monday evening if I can work from home. I have to sort out weekend food and get him set up for the week which he should be capable of doing but it doesn’t happen. Instead he’ll happily get alternating dominos and kebab takeaways.
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Frozen vegetables are least wasteful because you can cook enough for just you.
Some fresh vegetables have a longer shelf life. You can keep raw carrots, sweet potatoes, onions, cabbage longer than lettuce and tomato. https://www.cooksmarts.com/cooking-lessons/cooking-produce/buying-storing/
You can freeze many excess fresh vegetables before they go bad.
http://dish.allrecipes.com/how-to-freeze-fruits-and-vegetables/2 -
My suggestion is: he's an adult. He can choose for himself what to eat or not to eat. You can suggest and state the benefits but if he chooses otherwise, his decision. It shouldn't upset you so much. It suggests codependency kinda.
For your own health, eat fruits and vegetables. Simple. I eat 'em whether I'm eating with my wife or not. She's got nothing to do with it.17 -
Just make them for yourself. My ex rarely ate veggies either. I would just make myself a salad or some cooked veggies and make 2 servings. I would eat the second serving the next day.5
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DancingMoosie wrote: »So what does he eat? A plate of meat? I fix whatever vegetable side I want for dinner each night. My husband may or may not like it or eat it. He usually at least tries it. So, whatever is left over can be added to my lunch the next day. No waste.
He likes burgers with burgers, chicken Kiev with waffles and pizza with garlic bread. His idea of ‘home cooking’ is a jar sauce over chicken with microwave.
I’ve tried online food shopping as a way of buying fruit and veg in as he’s really impatient and won’t go near the fruit and veg aisles. I’ll look at frozen veg as a way to work this out. I made a lasagne recently and blended up a couple of peppers and a courgette to get more veg in to it. I don’t have time to do that every weekend
It is annoying he doesn't respect you enough to walk through the produce department. That doesn't sound like an adult, like an impenitent teenager. I eat mostly frozen, not fresh, it lasts. Fresh goes bad before I use it half the time, so I do frozen, reduce waste for me.10 -
It sounds like he does not appreciate you sorting out his food for him. I'd buy the food you want since he doesn't care and let him sort himself out more often. Tell him to make his own grocery list of things he wants and you'll get what you want for you.
Maybe you'll both be happier not sharing food or he'll change his mind.12 -
DancingMoosie wrote: »Burgers with burgers? Lol. He doesn't have to shop with you...mine doesn't. Just get what you want. I mostly eat fresh. I find a lot of frozen veggies get mushy.
He doesn’t have to shop with me but he lives at home and I work away during the week so get home Friday evening and usually leave on a Sunday evening or Monday evening if I can work from home. I have to sort out weekend food and get him set up for the week which he should be capable of doing but it doesn’t happen. Instead he’ll happily get alternating dominos and kebab takeaways.
I work from home and often don't leave the house for days. My OH picks up veggies for me several times per week. Your OH's refusal to be in the veggie section sounds like the symptom of a larger problem.
If there is any chance he is angry with you for being away during the week and being passive-aggressive about food, then the veggie issue is just a symptom and this is a matter best resolved in marriage counseling.
My OH and I often eat the same meats with very different sides. For example, when we have burgers, I have a huge salad with mine and my OH has Fritos or Doritos.
Cabbage and whole carrots have very long shelf lives. I often get a several months supply when these are on sale in March for St. Patrick's day. I might need to cut a thin slice off the cut side of the cabbage.
Heads of romaine lettuce have decent shelf lives. You could probably finish a whole small cucumber or whatever salad veggies you like over the course of a weekend.
Good luck!2 -
Not eating vegetables is one thing, but not letting you go in the store and buy them is not picky eating. That's something else entirely. What happens if you go and buy vegetables anyway? He can eat whatever he wants because he's an adult, but he doesn't get to tell you how to eat. So buy and eat what you want and worry about yourself.11
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DancingMoosie wrote: »Burgers with burgers? Lol. He doesn't have to shop with you...mine doesn't. Just get what you want. I mostly eat fresh. I find a lot of frozen veggies get mushy.
He doesn’t have to shop with me but he lives at home and I work away during the week so get home Friday evening and usually leave on a Sunday evening or Monday evening if I can work from home. I have to sort out weekend food and get him set up for the week which he should be capable of doing but it doesn’t happen. Instead he’ll happily get alternating dominos and kebab takeaways.
Unless the dominos and kebab takeaways are putting a strain on your budget compared to the meals you shop for and prepare for him (? -- I'm not sure if that's what "get him set up for the week" means?), I'd say just let him fend for himself with dominos and kebab takeways. I don't see any nutritional benefit to his eating burgers with burgers, chicken kiev with waffles, and pizza with garlic bread that you've left for him, compared to the takeaways.
It just sounds like you're making more work for yourself for no good reason. And if you're away from home four to five days a week, then you've got at least half the week that you can have vegetables or whatever else you think would benefit your health without having to worry about your OH's preferences or tantrums over letting you have five minutes to shop for veggies.11 -
Veggies keep for several days so if you can supplement your meals for a few days with one batch of veggies or salad. Just don't dress the salad until you're ready to eat it.
Im trying to figure out what's going on here...does your husband get upset if you have veggies during a meal? Does it cause conflict if you have different food on your plate? I'm just trying to figure out why this is even an issue. I don't understand why you both can't just eat what you want. My initial thought is this is a controlling relationship, but I don't want to jump to conclusions. Roast some root veggies or microwave a can of green beans for something simple.4 -
I've been mulling this over. There are only choices and consequences. You said....It’s affecting my health and how I feel about me.
You choose. This is about control. That is all.5 -
If he's not letting you eat veggies, then there's something wrong with your relationship if it's to the point you feel obligated not to eat veggies or at least give you the opportunity to buy some for yourself. This is the first time I ever hear something like this. I mean your both adults, if you want to eat vegetables, buy them and eat them. If he doesn't want, don't force him to eat any, but for you to feel weird about buying and eating veggies is nonsense. This shouldn't even be an issue in a relationship.10
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In my part of the country Wal-Mart provides a pickup service. You could do your shopping online before you return from work for Friday and pick it up on your way home.
For workaday snacking I get frozen edamame. I package them in to single serving sizes and by the time lunchtime rolls around they are defrosted enough for eating.
I'm not sure why you are bothering to get him sorted for weekday dinners. If I were you I'd be happy to let him fend for himself.
You mentioned tomato sauce. Tomato is a fruit/vegetable. So he's getting something. If you feel like sneaking a little in, shredded carrot bulks up tomato sauce quite nicely.4 -
I am confused. You simply...eat vegetables. Why does he have to in order for you to?9
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There’s a very unhealthy dynamic at play here that is concerning. OP, what would happen if you went to the store without him and just bought vegetables? You shouldn’t have to resort to that, but you might need to.
I also think you should ask yourself why he’s putting up obstacles every step of the way for you.3 -
He doesn’t have to shop with me but he lives at home and I work away during the week so get home Friday evening and usually leave on a Sunday evening or Monday evening if I can work from home. I have to sort out weekend food and get him set up for the week which he should be capable of doing but it doesn’t happen. Instead he’ll happily get alternating dominos and kebab takeaways.
Then that’s his problem, isn’t it?
You seem to be going to a lot of effort to give him something he doesn’t care about. It sounds to me like he’s making good use of ‘strategic incompetence’ to make you do all the work around mealtimes, and I don’t see why you should enable him.
If the problem is that you can’t afford for him to be getting takeaways all week - well, again, it’s his problem if he runs out of money on Wednesday and can’t eat for the second half of the week, and you shouldn’t let him make it yours. Maybe having to deal with the consequences for himself will force him to grow up!8 -
Thank you for all the comments.
I probably should have put more background for context. My husband is very lucky with his genes and comes from a family of runners. They’re all very slim and gifted at running so they can eat what they like and vast quantities of it.
I am not a natural runner and have to pass yearly fitness tests for my work. I work full time (60+ hrs not including travel) while trying to complete 2 Masters courses part time. I don’t have control of my work and can be sent away to various places with a moments notice. It makes it challenging to manage time and it makes it easy to throw money at the challenges faced which is what I don’t want to do.
I was using sainsburys home delivery but the quality of the fresh fruit and veg was awful. Spinach was only lasting a couple of days. That’s why I then went back to normal shopping but there isn’t a great range or good shelf life. It would be crazy to do 2 different food shops and pay twice for home delivery when we’re under the same roof. Frozen veggie is definitely an option and I did have some in until there was a recall notice due to listeria. That’s where frozen root veg could be a really good option.
I don’t think it’s control/relationship issue. He’s an idiot male plus the baby of his family so he has never had to learn to compromise/negotiate. The key thing to remember is I can change me but I can’t change him.
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Marriage sounds like a great place to learn how to compromise. I also married the baby in the family and he's learned, on certain issues, to approach me very, very carefully. So he does.
Go for the frozen veggies! Spinach only lasts a few days. That's what it's like. Spinach also comes frozen.
Now, root vegetables can keep very well in a cool dark cupboard. This includes the sweet potatoes, potatoes, parsnips and carrots. If you want to throw money away you can get frozen potatoes, but I've never found reason to do that.4 -
I'm vegan and my husband eats keto (mostly meat!) We cook for ourselves. In our house the importance of "mealtime" is the TIME, not the "meal".5
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