bummed out

Options
2»

Replies

  • debtay123
    debtay123 Posts: 1,327 Member
    Options
    that is just so sad- however do NOT let it get you down or stop you. Keep going- How would you have reacted if it had been a younger person to say something rude- then just do that and move on..
  • bobsburgersfan
    bobsburgersfan Posts: 6,307 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry. :/ While I might also attribute that to an elderly loss of filter, It doesn't really matter whether a comment is knowingly hurtful or not - it still hurts. You know how much you have accomplished and you should be proud of yourself! Do your best to forget about this guy.
  • jmf286
    jmf286 Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    i just don't understand why people think that other people want their unsolicited comments about their appearance, life, eating habits etc.
  • stfpa
    stfpa Posts: 62 Member
    Options
    Are you sure he wasn’t at all demented? I work with people who have dementia and they say things like this all the time
  • Silentpadna
    Silentpadna Posts: 1,306 Member
    Options
    Yes, older folks, especially those with early (or late dementia) can say things like that - and probably don't even remember it. It doesn't lessen the hurt, but I wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that he was being mean or was a jerk. He may not even know. Maybe he does and maybe he is a jerk...

    We have no way of knowing what's going on inside of someone we don't know. Maybe it's just an opportunity to grow and show some grace - despite our emotional (and valid) reaction to hurtful words.
  • Sandie020
    Sandie020 Posts: 53 Member
    Options
    How rude !!!
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
    Options
    This person has something wrong with them. They are either a miserable mean person or they have some other issue. You are just someone who got in their path.
    You have been doing great. You know that. Don't let one comment from some random guy destroy your good feelings.
  • lucerorojo
    lucerorojo Posts: 790 Member
    edited July 2018
    Options
    I think up until about 10 years ago it was fine to ask women (when are you due) and for most of my life(I'm 52) people commented on other's weight/looks and it wasn't considered rude. Things have changed and especially when it comes to making comments about pregnancy I do not because there are many women today who look like they are but who are not. I put my foot in my mouth several years ago with a colleague. I managed to realize halfway through the sentence that she wasn't pregnant but from then on I just keep quiet unless someone declares straight out they are pregnant. I wouldn't get upset about it. These things happen as some people are rude and others don't mean to be but things have changed and not every one is aware. You look good in your photo! ETA: when he realized his mistake though, he should have apologized. The remark about your tummy was definitely rude and uncalled for.
  • 1houndgal
    1houndgal Posts: 558 Member
    Options
    karen8787 wrote: »
    i don't think he made an innocent mistake. to me, i sounded like he did that on purpose. he's a POS and prolly picks out people's flaws and preys on them. i would have stabbed him in the hand with the pen he was using to sign the lease.

    I agree except for the stabbing part.

    The "man" should have apologized. Instead he added an insult to the first insult.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,897 Member
    Options
    A few years back, I was in a parking lot and saw a woman with a car that had stalled in the row. I asked her if she wanted me to help her push it into a spot. She said, "But you're pregnant!" I said, "No, just fat." I tossed that shirt after getting home and looking at myself in the mirror.

    I could understand her confusion and don't blame her at all. (She didn't make a rude follow up comment like in the OP.)
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,964 Member
    Options
    lucerorojo wrote: »
    I think up until about 10 years ago it was fine to ask women (when are you due) and for most of my life(I'm 52) people commented on other's weight/looks and it wasn't considered rude. Things have changed and especially when it comes to making comments about pregnancy I do not because there are many women today who look like they are but who are not. I put my foot in my mouth several years ago with a colleague. I managed to realize halfway through the sentence that she wasn't pregnant but from then on I just keep quiet unless someone declares straight out they are pregnant. I wouldn't get upset about it. These things happen as some people are rude and others don't mean to be but things have changed and not every one is aware. You look good in your photo! ETA: when he realized his mistake though, he should have apologized. The remark about your tummy was definitely rude and uncalled for.

    I have to disagree. There was never a time in the past 50 years ago when asking such a personal question would not have been rude, even without the rude "if you weren't so fat" follow-up. I learned not to ask people personal questions that were none of my business when I was a small child. I can't imagine this lesson was never presented to this gentleman in his lifetime, even if he's forgotten it or decided it doesn't apply to him for some reason.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Options
    He probably said that because he was (VERY poorly) trying to cover his embarrassment. It says a lot more about him than it does you.

Categories