Aid for he who needs to lose weight

Hi y'all!

im a 26 yr old non binary (born as she) but identifies as he/they who weighs alot more than they look. my goal is 107 by december. currently, i have a retail job where i am on my feeet. i exercise 2-4 hours a day and do Functional Fitness (does anyone also do this?) classes 2-4x a week in addition to cardio. I look leaner but now my ribs are gone and my arms seem larger yet i look alot thinner than i actually weight. i am also 5;4. Any tips for leaning myself out and just getting down to my goal weight of 105-110? thanks. i also learned its CICO not what time you eat tbh. is this true? Speaking to nutritionists and science minded folk out there! Currently my sizes are xs-small , 0-2 sometimes a 4 if its european sizing. also, how can i get my breasts less dense and smaller. im a 34 A/B currently

Replies

  • LiftHeavyThings27105
    LiftHeavyThings27105 Posts: 2,104 Member
    Hi y'all!

    im a 26 yr old non binary (born as she) but identifies as he/they who weighs alot more than they look. my goal is 107 by december. currently, i have a retail job where i am on my feeet. i exercise 2-4 hours a day and do Functional Fitness (does anyone also do this?) classes 2-4x a week in addition to cardio. I look leaner but now my ribs are gone and my arms seem larger yet i look alot thinner than i actually weight. i am also 5;4. Any tips for leaning myself out and just getting down to my goal weight of 105-110? thanks. i also learned its CICO not what time you eat tbh. is this true? Speaking to nutritionists and science minded folk out there! Currently my sizes are xs-small , 0-2 sometimes a 4 if its european sizing. also, how can i get my breasts less dense and smaller. im a 34 A/B currently

    When you say 107, you mean 107lbs, right? 107kgs would be roughly 235lbs. I ask only because you referenced European sizing.....that *typically* indicates kgs and cm. I would hate to assume anything.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,534 Member
    Hi y'all!

    im a 26 yr old non binary (born as she) but identifies as he/they who weighs alot more than they look. my goal is 107 by december. currently, i have a retail job where i am on my feeet. i exercise 2-4 hours a day and do Functional Fitness (does anyone also do this?) classes 2-4x a week in addition to cardio. I look leaner but now my ribs are gone and my arms seem larger yet i look alot thinner than i actually weight. i am also 5;4. Any tips for leaning myself out and just getting down to my goal weight of 105-110? thanks. i also learned its CICO not what time you eat tbh. is this true? Speaking to nutritionists and science minded folk out there! Currently my sizes are xs-small , 0-2 sometimes a 4 if its european sizing. also, how can i get my breasts less dense and smaller. im a 34 A/B currently

    When you say 107, you mean 107lbs, right? 107kgs would be roughly 235lbs. I ask only because you referenced European sizing.....that *typically* indicates kgs and cm. I would hate to assume anything.

    But he also used feet and inches for height.

    OP, based on the sizes you mentioned, you are already fairly small. Is there a particular reason you are wanting to be underweight? Have you spoken with your doctor about this? No recommendations for your breasts, are you considering surgery? Love your glasses. My eyesight is horrible, so that large frame would be frighteningly thick and heavy on me.
  • LiftHeavyThings27105
    LiftHeavyThings27105 Posts: 2,104 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Hi y'all!

    im a 26 yr old non binary (born as she) but identifies as he/they who weighs alot more than they look. my goal is 107 by december. currently, i have a retail job where i am on my feeet. i exercise 2-4 hours a day and do Functional Fitness (does anyone also do this?) classes 2-4x a week in addition to cardio. I look leaner but now my ribs are gone and my arms seem larger yet i look alot thinner than i actually weight. i am also 5;4. Any tips for leaning myself out and just getting down to my goal weight of 105-110? thanks. i also learned its CICO not what time you eat tbh. is this true? Speaking to nutritionists and science minded folk out there! Currently my sizes are xs-small , 0-2 sometimes a 4 if its european sizing. also, how can i get my breasts less dense and smaller. im a 34 A/B currently

    When you say 107, you mean 107lbs, right? 107kgs would be roughly 235lbs. I ask only because you referenced European sizing.....that *typically* indicates kgs and cm. I would hate to assume anything.

    But he also used feet and inches for height.

    OP, based on the sizes you mentioned, you are already fairly small. Is there a particular reason you are wanting to be underweight? Have you spoken with your doctor about this? No recommendations for your breasts, are you considering surgery? Love your glasses. My eyesight is horrible, so that large frame would be frighteningly thick and heavy on me.

    Yes, I noticed that.....

    And I also noticed the "my ribs are gone" And, the sizes of "xs-small" would indeed suggest lbs. But....Easy to ask. Too many things pointing one way.....but then something pointing (possibly) another way. So, I ask. Likely a waste of time, but you would not believe the silly things that I resolve by asking the "stupid questions".....
  • aokoye
    aokoye Posts: 3,495 Member
    Currently my sizes are xs-small , 0-2 sometimes a 4 if its european sizing. also, how can i get my breasts less dense and smaller. im a 34 A/B currently

    Exercising and weight loss isn't going to do that. What you need is a good binder. NOT an ace bandage (or anything of the like) but a binder. Something like any of these. Those won't functionally make your breasts smaller but they will make your chest look flat.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,534 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Hi y'all!

    im a 26 yr old non binary (born as she) but identifies as he/they who weighs alot more than they look. my goal is 107 by december. currently, i have a retail job where i am on my feeet. i exercise 2-4 hours a day and do Functional Fitness (does anyone also do this?) classes 2-4x a week in addition to cardio. I look leaner but now my ribs are gone and my arms seem larger yet i look alot thinner than i actually weight. i am also 5;4. Any tips for leaning myself out and just getting down to my goal weight of 105-110? thanks. i also learned its CICO not what time you eat tbh. is this true? Speaking to nutritionists and science minded folk out there! Currently my sizes are xs-small , 0-2 sometimes a 4 if its european sizing. also, how can i get my breasts less dense and smaller. im a 34 A/B currently

    When you say 107, you mean 107lbs, right? 107kgs would be roughly 235lbs. I ask only because you referenced European sizing.....that *typically* indicates kgs and cm. I would hate to assume anything.

    But he also used feet and inches for height.

    OP, based on the sizes you mentioned, you are already fairly small. Is there a particular reason you are wanting to be underweight? Have you spoken with your doctor about this? No recommendations for your breasts, are you considering surgery? Love your glasses. My eyesight is horrible, so that large frame would be frighteningly thick and heavy on me.

    Yes, I noticed that.....

    And I also noticed the "my ribs are gone" And, the sizes of "xs-small" would indeed suggest lbs. But....Easy to ask. Too many things pointing one way.....but then something pointing (possibly) another way. So, I ask. Likely a waste of time, but you would not believe the silly things that I resolve by asking the "stupid questions".....

    Fair enough. There are certainly enough miscommunications around here.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,731 Member
    It sounds like you're trying to get to an unhealthy low weight. Life is hard enough, don't do that to yourself.

    This
  • aokoye
    aokoye Posts: 3,495 Member
    Lillymoo01 wrote: »
    Alarm bells are ringing loudly in this post. My advise is to see a doctor to get a referral for a trained counsellor as multiple issues are apparent to me.
    Best of luck for your path forward xxx

    Honestly the main alarm bell ringing issue that I see is that he seems to want to be at an extremely low weight. Being trans/non-binary isn't itself an alarm bell at all. It's exceedingly normal for trans/gender non-conforming people who assigned female at birth (AFAB) to want to minimize the appearance of their breasts or to have double mastectomies. Doing double mastectomies on AFAB trans* people is internationally recognized as an appropriate treatment modality. That said, it isn't clear that the OP wants surgery (not all trans/gender non-binary people want surgery).

    I do think that the OP would be helped by seeing a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and is also well versed in trans issues. That said the "well versed in trans issues" part of that is going to make that a difficult ask. Not impossible, but hard.
  • Lillymoo01
    Lillymoo01 Posts: 2,868 Member
    aokoye wrote: »
    Lillymoo01 wrote: »
    Alarm bells are ringing loudly in this post. My advise is to see a doctor to get a referral for a trained counsellor as multiple issues are apparent to me.
    Best of luck for your path forward xxx

    Honestly the main alarm bell ringing issue that I see is that he seems to want to be at an extremely low weight. Being trans/non-binary isn't itself an alarm bell at all. It's exceedingly normal for trans/gender non-conforming people who assigned female at birth (AFAB) to want to minimize the appearance of their breasts or to have double mastectomies. Doing double mastectomies on AFAB trans* people is internationally recognized as an appropriate treatment modality. That said, it isn't clear that the OP wants surgery (not all trans/gender non-binary people want surgery).

    I do think that the OP would be helped by seeing a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and is also well versed in trans issues. That said the "well versed in trans issues" part of that is going to make that a difficult ask. Not impossible, but hard.

    The low weight is one issue. The body dysmorphia is another.
    However, suicide rates are higher among transgender people than any other group. Add this to the issue of lack of body acceptance with weight leads to these alarm bells big time. It is a multifaceted problem that needs addressing.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,027 Member
    Hi y'all!

    im a 26 yr old non binary (born as she) but identifies as he/they who weighs alot more than they look. my goal is 107 by december. currently, i have a retail job where i am on my feeet. i exercise 2-4 hours a day and do Functional Fitness (does anyone also do this?) classes 2-4x a week in addition to cardio. I look leaner but now my ribs are gone and my arms seem larger yet i look alot thinner than i actually weight. i am also 5;4. Any tips for leaning myself out and just getting down to my goal weight of 105-110? thanks. i also learned its CICO not what time you eat tbh. is this true? Speaking to nutritionists and science minded folk out there! Currently my sizes are xs-small , 0-2 sometimes a 4 if its european sizing. also, how can i get my breasts less dense and smaller. im a 34 A/B currently

    Your goal weight is underweight. Breasts are made up of both fat and breast tissue. You can lose the fat as you lose weight but not the breast tissue. Considering you are already quite small, I doubt losing any more weight would have any affect on your breast size, and there is nothing you can do about the density.

    The excessive exercise and low goal weight is concerning. Do you have a doctor or counselor you can consult with? Please take good care of yourself!
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,257 Member
    edited July 2018
    Welcome!

    This sounds like an incredible amount of activity. I'm not familiar with functional fitness, but at a glance it appears to be a balanced approach to health and wellness. This schedule sounds very aggressive as well. Is there a hurry? Health and wellness is a lifetime concern and won't come by December or some other arbitrary date. Implement change slowly and deliberately.

    I wouldn't be overly concerned with weight - that's just a number. What you are seeking is aesthetic and difference in dimensions/proportions. There are a number of fitness professionals would have escaped this mindset of the scale and turned to a more healthy view of fitness - many on YouTube, just find one that suits you.

    True - weight management has nothing to do with meal timing. This is more of an appetite management concern.
  • aokoye
    aokoye Posts: 3,495 Member
    Lillymoo01 wrote: »
    aokoye wrote: »
    Lillymoo01 wrote: »
    aokoye wrote: »
    Lillymoo01 wrote: »
    Alarm bells are ringing loudly in this post. My advise is to see a doctor to get a referral for a trained counsellor as multiple issues are apparent to me.
    Best of luck for your path forward xxx

    Honestly the main alarm bell ringing issue that I see is that he seems to want to be at an extremely low weight. Being trans/non-binary isn't itself an alarm bell at all. It's exceedingly normal for trans/gender non-conforming people who assigned female at birth (AFAB) to want to minimize the appearance of their breasts or to have double mastectomies. Doing double mastectomies on AFAB trans* people is internationally recognized as an appropriate treatment modality. That said, it isn't clear that the OP wants surgery (not all trans/gender non-binary people want surgery).

    I do think that the OP would be helped by seeing a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and is also well versed in trans issues. That said the "well versed in trans issues" part of that is going to make that a difficult ask. Not impossible, but hard.

    The low weight is one issue. The body dysmorphia is another.
    However, suicide rates are higher among transgender people than any other group. Add this to the issue of lack of body acceptance with weight leads to these alarm bells big time. It is a multifaceted problem that needs addressing.

    Again, having dysphoria about your body is really normally for the vast majority of trans people. It is not a red flag. That's why things like binders and surgery are appropriate options for many trans people. There are ways in which that dysphoria can raise red flags, but that hasn't been voiced by the OP. The dysphoria that trans people feel about their bodies is treated differently than you would someone with body dysmorphic disorder. Note, gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia are two different things. Trans* people don't typically have body dysmorphia as a condition relating to their being trans. If you're talking about this in relation to their desire to be under weight then ok, but it doesn't appear that that's what you're talking about.

    And yes, I'm well aware of the sky high suicide rates compared to most other demographics of people. What needs to be worked on, first and foremost, is the OP's low weight. That needs to be done with the help of a medical team who is knowledgeable about trans issues.

    Note, I am trans and I have done trans 101s for more than half of my life. This includes speaking at national conferences and to my county's health department multiple times (I live in a large metropolitan area). I am very well versed with regards to trans issues.

    I should have been more clear. My comments around body dismorphia was not because of issues with breasts. It is more than understandable that he wants smaller breasts. It was in regards to comments about ribs, arms being longer than normal, weighing less than he actually looks. While I appreciate there is a difference with general body dismorphia and gender dismorphia I see the two clearly overlapping here. It appears he is looking in the mirror and not only hating the feminine aspects of his body but he is also seeing himself as being much larger than he is. He is seeing imperfections that are unrelated to gender. Just a complex group of issues that needs addressing before to its worse.

    I think the issue that I'm taking is that body dysmorphia is treated in a very different way than gender dysphoria is. I agree that there are probably at least two issues going on here, but they are treated very differently. Either way, we agree that it's a complex set of issues and professional help is needed for at the very least one of them (arguably not everyone who is trans* needs to go to therapy, though I think therapy is useful for everyone, cis or trans).
  • Lillymoo01
    Lillymoo01 Posts: 2,868 Member
    aokoye wrote: »
    Lillymoo01 wrote: »
    aokoye wrote: »
    Lillymoo01 wrote: »
    aokoye wrote: »
    Lillymoo01 wrote: »
    Alarm bells are ringing loudly in this post. My advise is to see a doctor to get a referral for a trained counsellor as multiple issues are apparent to me.
    Best of luck for your path forward xxx

    Honestly the main alarm bell ringing issue that I see is that he seems to want to be at an extremely low weight. Being trans/non-binary isn't itself an alarm bell at all. It's exceedingly normal for trans/gender non-conforming people who assigned female at birth (AFAB) to want to minimize the appearance of their breasts or to have double mastectomies. Doing double mastectomies on AFAB trans* people is internationally recognized as an appropriate treatment modality. That said, it isn't clear that the OP wants surgery (not all trans/gender non-binary people want surgery).

    I do think that the OP would be helped by seeing a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and is also well versed in trans issues. That said the "well versed in trans issues" part of that is going to make that a difficult ask. Not impossible, but hard.

    The low weight is one issue. The body dysmorphia is another.
    However, suicide rates are higher among transgender people than any other group. Add this to the issue of lack of body acceptance with weight leads to these alarm bells big time. It is a multifaceted problem that needs addressing.

    Again, having dysphoria about your body is really normally for the vast majority of trans people. It is not a red flag. That's why things like binders and surgery are appropriate options for many trans people. There are ways in which that dysphoria can raise red flags, but that hasn't been voiced by the OP. The dysphoria that trans people feel about their bodies is treated differently than you would someone with body dysmorphic disorder. Note, gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia are two different things. Trans* people don't typically have body dysmorphia as a condition relating to their being trans. If you're talking about this in relation to their desire to be under weight then ok, but it doesn't appear that that's what you're talking about.

    And yes, I'm well aware of the sky high suicide rates compared to most other demographics of people. What needs to be worked on, first and foremost, is the OP's low weight. That needs to be done with the help of a medical team who is knowledgeable about trans issues.

    Note, I am trans and I have done trans 101s for more than half of my life. This includes speaking at national conferences and to my county's health department multiple times (I live in a large metropolitan area). I am very well versed with regards to trans issues.

    I should have been more clear. My comments around body dismorphia was not because of issues with breasts. It is more than understandable that he wants smaller breasts. It was in regards to comments about ribs, arms being longer than normal, weighing less than he actually looks. While I appreciate there is a difference with general body dismorphia and gender dismorphia I see the two clearly overlapping here. It appears he is looking in the mirror and not only hating the feminine aspects of his body but he is also seeing himself as being much larger than he is. He is seeing imperfections that are unrelated to gender. Just a complex group of issues that needs addressing before to its worse.

    I think the issue that I'm taking is that body dysmorphia is treated in a very different way than gender dysphoria is. I agree that there are probably at least two issues going on here, but they are treated very differently. Either way, we agree that it's a complex set of issues and professional help is needed for at the very least one of them (arguably not everyone who is trans* needs to go to therapy, though I think therapy is useful for everyone, cis or trans).

    Absolutely. When all is said and done we do actually agree with each other. Sometimes there is just confusion with interpretation of the written word. Just really hope the OP can get the specialist help he needs.