The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

donimfp · August 2018

Thanks, @lorrainequiche. I know the brain changes are just part of the process. That's why I'm observing and thinking, "Isn't that interesting!" instead of, "Oh, no, what's happening to me?"

I may be an anomaly, but social situations are actually easier for me than sitting at home watching TV. That's when I drank. In social situations, I would usually have one or two drinks max because I was engaged and not bored. However, we do have our annual Mermaid Festival coming up, and "Mertinis" are a major focus. Still, I don't anticipate it being a problem.

I agree with Clare Pooley that we need a better word than "sober," which reminds me of the Puritans I used to teach about in American lit. Alcohol-free is the best I can do so far.

Have a good day everyone! It's nice to have a space where everyone is on the same page, although I do love those who are moderating on the Less Alcohol thread and will stay there, too. For me, as @RubyRed427 has said, constantly thinking about when, if, how much, etc. is just too much mental real estate for me. Much easier to not drink at all. I know my liver is happy.

SunnyDays930 · August 2018

@donimfp you hit the nail on the head for me as well. It's the sitting at home, drinking in front of the tv that is the worst. I've been totally fine in bars or parties without wine. Maybe it's because when I now observe others drunk, it's such a turn off. When I am at home alone, no one is witnessing anything.

whitpauly · August 2018

For those of you feeling a little"meh" in mood its completely normal,my Easy quit drinking app says after 90 days those neurotransmitters are back to normal,I get the blues here and there but just try to exercise it off,I was gonna mention I don't like the word sober either,,I think its too close to somber or something so I usually say AF or Freedom but I gotta say I hate the word but love the feeling of sober(most days)

donimfp · August 2018

What do y'all think about non-alcohol beer? I know from experience that non-alcohol wine tastes terrible to me, so I'm not willing to go there at all. I wouldn't have thought about N/A beer, either, but I just read Clare Pooley's book "The Sober Diaries," which I found very inspiring. She regularly drinks Beck's Blue non-alc. beer. My question isn't about the taste, it's about whether this is a good, bad, or neutral idea. I just figured that drinking it might make me want the real thing, although beer is not really my drink of choice. BUT, I really don't like sweet stuff very much at all, and water gets boring. A good, cold non-alcohol beer could be a nice option to have in my arsenal, I THINK. But is this a dangerous idea? I just don't know. So far, V-8 juice is my only really satisfying option that isn't sweet.

SunnyDays930 · August 2018

@donimfp funny you should bring this up. We were sitting at the bar the other day and I ordered an O'Douhls. We were having wings and it just felt right. I only had one and it was filling. It did not make me want more. It also did not make me want a "real" beer. This is just MY experience however. I have never been a big beer drinker so maybe someone else that was had a different experience and decided it was not a good idea.

RubyRed427 · August 2018

I think I'll skip the non alcoholic beer ; for me, it may make me long for a real
One. I even avoided an amaretto cannoli because of the contents even though I know it's probably not even real amaretto used.

donimfp · August 2018

Thanks for the quick responses! I’ve never been a real beer drinker either. Literally maybe 2–3 a year. I’m just yearning for something flavorful, refreshing, and not sweet. If there were no negative psychological consequences a NA beer would seem to be a good solution. I definitely don’t want to jeopardize this lovely AF roll I’m on.

whitpauly · August 2018

Beer was always my drink of choice so I don't dare try and AF one,,I think for me the taste would trigger a want for the real thing but I know several former problem drinkers who actually use it when a craving hits and its a useful tool for them,I tend to drink not because I miss the taste,,Id drink if I have a bad day,mood,the moon was full,TOM,its Tuesday,etc any excuse would do sadly but I'm honestly trying hard this time,my longest sober stretch was nearly 5 months but that was 2 years ago! Last year my baby brother committed suicide at 29 years old and just dealing with the emotions really sucks sometimes but I have to do it,I'd really hate for something so stupid as alcohol to kill me,ruin my relationships with my family anymore than it already has,make me lose my job or something else bad,plus im so ugly when I drink,just a bloated,bleary eyed mess,hopefully at least vanity can help keep me off the grog

tifano · August 2018

Today I celebrate 6 years of continuous sobriety. Six years ago I was at an all time low emotionally and my only way to cope with life was drinking to blackout. Even when drinking was fun it was never in moderation.

I’m so grateful I had a mustard seed of willingness to try something different. Today I’m living my very best life SOBER. I’ve walked through cancer sober, issues with a severely special needs child sober, lots of other life events that would warrant a drink but I’ve remained sober.

If drinking is an issue for you know there is a solution. I’m happy to help you find help if you want it. Just message me.

My opinion on NA beer is it’s a very slippery slope and there is still alcohol in NA beer. If one is an alcoholic like I am I cannot consume NA beer. Just like I can’t drink mocktails. It’s too triggering. I just drink water and coffee. Grateful today for my life and sobriety.

RubyRed427 · August 2018

whitpauly wrote: »

Beer was always my drink of choice so I don't dare try and AF one,,I think for me the taste would trigger a want for the real thing but I know several former problem drinkers who actually use it when a craving hits and its a useful tool for them,I tend to drink not because I miss the taste,,Id drink if I have a bad day,mood,the moon was full,TOM,its Tuesday,etc any excuse would do sadly but I'm honestly trying hard this time,my longest sober stretch was nearly 5 months but that was 2 years ago! Last year my baby brother committed suicide at 29 years old and just dealing with the emotions really sucks sometimes but I have to do it,I'd really hate for something so stupid as alcohol to kill me,ruin my relationships with my family anymore than it already has,make me lose my job or something else bad,plus im so ugly when I drink,just a bloated,bleary eyed mess,hopefully at least vanity can help keep me off the grog

I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet brother. I think that you are very strong and equally determined. And yes vanity speaking , I saw my neighbor who drinks a lot and I've noticed this year her face looks haggard and hair thinning. Her once very handsome husband (who I think is an alcoholic) looks different too. Alcohol does change your looks. Sending you a big hug.

tifano · August 2018

Also to those thinking that it’s so hard to even think about 30 days let alone 6 years believe me I get it. I NEVER intended on being sober for this long. I really wanted to learn how to drink like a lady. I did try controlled drinking experiments and failed every time.

My biggest suggestion is to stay in today, stay on the hour or minute if you have to. Ask your God or higher power to remove the obsession and go do something productive or something for someone else.

Big hugs my sober friends or those who wish to seek sobriety. If drinking is a serious issue for you know there is a solution and a design for living that works!!

RubyRed427 · August 2018

tifano wrote: »

Today I celebrate 6 years of continuous sobriety. Six years ago I was at an all time low emotionally and my only way to cope with life was drinking to blackout. Even when drinking was fun it was never in moderation.

I’m so grateful I had a mustard seed of willingness to try something different. Today I’m living my very best life SOBER. I’ve walked through cancer sober, issues with a severely special needs child sober, lots of other life events that would warrant a drink but I’ve remained sober.

If drinking is an issue for you know there is a solution. I’m happy to help you find help if you want it. Just message me.

My opinion on NA beer is it’s a very slippery slope and there is still alcohol in NA beer. If one is an alcoholic like I am I cannot consume NA beer. Just like I can’t drink mocktails. It’s too triggering. I just drink water and coffee. Grateful today for my life and sobriety.

Congratulations! Six years is amazing and well earned - you've overcome, triumphed , coped and lived life head on.
Eyes wide open. I'm so happy for you and very proud of you. Xo

lorrainequiche59 · August 2018

@whitpauly

donimfp · August 2018

@whitpauly, I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. Wishing you peace and comfort. I’m glad you’re here.

@tifano, thank you for sharing your experience and insight.

I’m thankful that so far I’m feeling delighted not to be drinking. That’s never happened before. I think it’s from reading a number of writers who focus on a changed mindset toward alcohol, especially dispelling the myth that alcohol is something to yearn for rather than a prison to escape from. Telling myself I don’t have to drink rather than I don’t get to drink has made a huge difference.

The NA beer is still a question for me. It’s all about taste, not a desire for alcohol. But I don’t want to be foolish. I’ve been reading about how craft brewers are finding a growing group of non-drinking customers who want a really tasty product. If they can manipulate the process in such a way as to create a delicious NA beverage I might want to go there. Meanwhile it’s Pellegrino all the way.

lorrainequiche59 · August 2018

@donimfp Have you tried flavored carbonated water?. Nestle or PC & other brands flavor it with lemon, lime, raspberry, cranberry etc in some really yummy combos. I have no problem drinking it as is, but sometimes mix it with 1/4 cup of cranberry juice or some other juice to give it a wee bit of sweetness.

My drink of choice was always dry red wine, but on a hot summer day I also liked having an ice cold beer. I don't think I'd chance the NA beer personally just cause that's me....With beer I loved the ice cold fizz & can get the same effect from carbonated water.

donimfp · August 2018

@lorrainequiche59, thanks and yes I drink LaCroix sometimes.

So interesting . . . I checked out the Sober Mummy blog for the first time tonight and the first (latest) topic was NA beer, wine, spirits. The consensus seemed to be that they are a lifeline for some people and dangerous for others. A couple expressed my desire for a non- sweet alternative that had more flavor than water.

salleewins · August 2018

I don't know why ginger beer has to have the word beer to it. I find it irritating, lol. I am going to make some myself sometime. I have the ginger already. It is basically fresh ginger, sweetener of some sort and carbonated water. I can have it in a glass if I want to. I personally won't go near something labled non-alcoholic. It seems to be more and more on the displays lately in the stores, ugh. It is just too scary for me. I just can't risk how good that I have it now.

SunnyDays930 · August 2018

@whitpauly I am sorry for your terrible loss. I am glad you are here with us and hopefully you feel supported in this group.
As far as NA beers are concerned, again, I was NOT a beer drinker but I can definitely see it being a slippery slope. I have tried NA wines in the past and they are terrible (to me) but more importantly I feel those MIGHT trigger a relapse I am avoiding them. My current DOC (drink of choice) is LaCroix with a splash of a cranberry/blood orange juice. ooooo it is refreshing! I put it in a pretty glass with a lime wedge and feel quite fancy.

salleewins · August 2018

@whitpauly my heart is very sad over you and your beautiful brother. It will be hard working through it and something you will never totally be done with. As you have found out, like I have, drinking lies and promises to help you deal with it, but only delays the process. If there are Griefshare groups at the churches where you are, they helped me a lot with losing my son. I can't say enough about what I have learned and some great lifelong friends I have met that have had all kinds of losses. Many of them have been siblings, too. There is just something about being around others going through similar situations, like this group, that helps sometimes. ❤

donimfp · August 2018

Here is a link to Clare Pooley's blog. I found the March 2 entry, aimed at newbies to sobriety like me, to be a nice, succinct summary of what I'm going through now. I agree that for me, the difference this time is that I am excited about freedom from alcohol vs. dreading having to "give up" something important to me.

http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2018-03-22T01:51:00-07:00&max-results=3&start=12&by-date=false

The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

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