Very stupid question.
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CarvedTones wrote: »jamesjeffsmith wrote: »No massive amount of food feels as good as fit feels
For a lot (most?) of us, a binge rarely feels good. I was often disgusted with myself while eating, not just after.
yup... bro hug my man.10 -
pe4sandra2 wrote: »CarvedTones wrote: »I have my own potentially stupid question...
When I binged, I absolutely knew that was what I was doing and that it wasn't real hunger. My flaw wasn't not knowing, it was not caring during episodes. My question - Is that uncommon in binge eaters?
I always thought it was common and the hunger thing was just a lie we told the world and sometimes ourselves, but deep down most of us knew exactly what we were doing. Even now, when I have a day where I go over by several hundred (like yesterday), I knew it wasn't real hunger. So far I have had the discipline to put the brakes on before it gets too far and then make up for it with some deficit days, but it does worry me that I still knowingly eat high calorie foods when I am already at or over goal.
So I don't worry so much about what satiety feels like or what truly hungry feels like. I try to be vigilant and catch the thought process that makes me ignore how I feel with regard to hunger.
I still binge from time to time...and when I do, I am fully aware that I am not hungry. My goal in that moment is to taste EVERYTHING edible within reach. Salty, sweet, savory, crunchy, soft, decadent, spicy...I can't stop until it's over. "It" being the driving force behind the binge. That's what my question is - What drives the binge? And, obviously it's a question only I can answer. But, I want to know what it is that fuels that itch to eat until my body can't take it anymore.
I'm glad it isn't happening as much anymore.
For sure I've been there. May be there again, who knows? I do know that it has become a rare event but it took a very long time and it took talking and posting and thinking and journaling and making exercise a priority. If any of those things are lacking I can go right back to emotional eating.
If something upsets me that is still in my emotional wheelhouse I'll eat. I used to drink, so I'd rather eat but still it can become a problem very easily if I start using food to cope again. These days my first line of defense is my journal.
Name the problem, name the emotion, name a different solution.
Sometimes something happens that I can't even string together all the tumbling emotions. I have to find a way to let it go and regain a level head and that is best accomplished for me by getting physical in some way. Couch + Blankie + bag o' whatever is never a good solution so I have to interrupt that thought before it grabs on.
I can usually stop myself beforehand because I just don't buy the stuff that I tend to binge on anymore (except peanut butter, it's a thing.) If I can clean out a drawer, fold some clothes, take a walk, do anything physical for even five minutes I can stop the urge. Then once the physical urge is gone, I journal about it. It helps me identify patterns of thinking that are destructive.
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One small thing that I found helped me was to deliberately slow down the speed at which I eat. It actually gave my brain the time to process the fact that food was incoming and to turn off the "I'm starving, here!" signal at a point where much less food had been consumed.9
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"Slow down."
One of the best pieces of life advice there is. Not just slow down the eating, but slow down everything. Thinking, reacting. Everything.15 -
I don't think about it.. I just know how much protein, fat, and carbs I should have to stay thin, and I eat vegetables freely if I want to feel more satisfied.
So, if I want a full feeling .. I eat a large delicious salad and fresh cut, or steamed vegetables with each meal and snack. I never entertain the option of eating extra carbs, proteins, or fats to achieve a more sated feeling.
It works for me.2 -
Its not a stupid question OP. Are you still fairly new to maintenance?2
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It's hard to say. I just feel ... not hungry. Comfortably full but not stuffed. After years of (off and on) counting calories I've learned what appropriate portion sizes look like for me and how I typically feel after eating them. I will say, that my weight problems came from mindlessly snacking and grazing throughout the day and eating too many sweets, probably not as much from eating too much at dinner.4
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LivingtheLeanDream wrote: »Its not a stupid question OP. Are you still fairly new to maintenance?
Only a year in... still learning... I will always be learning. Actually, I keep saying I am going to try and gain some back. I let bf get too low, sub 10. I was a binge eater... well recovering. I have not had an episode in a long while. I just used to eat until stuffed, so all I ever knew was hungry or stuff. Never learned sated.5 -
One time on a cruise ship I did hypnosis for weight loss. They kept saying over and over to listen to your body and as soon as your full stop eating. It worked great for about 2 weeks> my take away from that is the signals are there if you let them in to your physical side....1
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I really loveeeeee this question! One of my biggest problems as well! Man.. our brain gets *kitten* up quite easily I guess...1
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psychod787 wrote: »LivingtheLeanDream wrote: »Its not a stupid question OP. Are you still fairly new to maintenance?
Only a year in... still learning... I will always be learning. Actually, I keep saying I am going to try and gain some back. I let bf get too low, sub 10. I was a binge eater... well recovering. I have not had an episode in a long while. I just used to eat until stuffed, so all I ever knew was hungry or stuff. Never learned sated.
I think we are always learning. If you've not had a binge in a long while it sounds like you are winning. I think with time you will learn to be sated naturally. I'm 5yrs at maintenance, still learning, still tweaking but after year 2 I did learn satiety, I suppose that might have because it was habit? it comes naturally now.
{{Hugs}}
Ruth4 -
cmriverside wrote: »I had to figure out my Maintenance cals and then split it up into two larger meals. I like the full feeling too.
Two meals plus a small (200-300cal) snack seems to work best for me.
I know intellectually that's enough food. Like I said in the "psych" thread, I will eat my larger meals and then wait for 20 minutes. That's how long it takes to get that message to my brain that I've eaten enough. If I don't eat more (I usually still want to) within that 20 minutes I find I'm fine at the end of that 20 minutes.
It's about knowing over time that I'm getting the right amount of food for my weight - then trusting it.
wow, I'm the exact same!!3 -
CarvedTones wrote: »jamesjeffsmith wrote: »No massive amount of food feels as good as fit feels
For a lot (most?) of us, a binge rarely feels good. I was often disgusted with myself while eating, not just after.
Agreed. It still happens sometimes - usually if I've added alcohol into the equation. I log it and move on1 -
I struggle with this too. So, I just decided that unless it's meal time (and I've been observing meal times that day with no snacks) or my stomach is growling with hunger then I'm not hungry and hence must be satisfied. The only meal I tend to overeat is dinner and binges are always at night. I'm too busy during the day, so I'm lucky in knowing how many calories I have left for and after dinner.1
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Just as an aside, my wife says "you're weird". I would sneeze repeatedly when gorged. I was obese nearly 10 years. Since I've lost the weight and been in maintenance, I never get full to that point where I sneeze. Maybe a handful of times. Used to be a daily occurrence. I know that's odd but for me, no sneezing and I'm good.8
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MikePfirrman wrote: »Just as an aside, my wife says "you're weird". I would sneeze repeatedly when gorged. I was obese nearly 10 years. Since I've lost the weight and been in maintenance, I never get full to that point where I sneeze. Maybe a handful of times. Used to be a daily occurrence. I know that's odd but for me, no sneezing and I'm good.
Well, that's a new one!
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VanVanDiane wrote: »CarvedTones wrote: »jamesjeffsmith wrote: »No massive amount of food feels as good as fit feels
For a lot (most?) of us, a binge rarely feels good. I was often disgusted with myself while eating, not just after.
Agreed. It still happens sometimes - usually if I've added alcohol into the equation. I log it and move on
That's one of the reasons I removed alcohol from every equation 458 days ago (but who's counting?). Not the most important one, but definitely one of the reasons. Eating disorders are usually a symptom, not a root cause. The root cause is something I couldn't fix with alcohol (I did extensive testing to confirm this).15 -
Sometimes I have to look at it academically, did I have enough calories for today and what I've done, so is that actually hunger or am I just wanting to eat because I want to? I'll give it twenty minutes and drink some water and distract myself and check in again. If still hungry I'll look at my macros and see if I am short somewhere and try to tailor a snack to that. So to answer, no I guess I don't know what it really feels like.2
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This is something you have to learn. I have learned to pay really careful attention to how I feel later. I know that when I eat until I am full I feel gross later. If I eat until I am stuffed I feel really sick.
I focus a lot on the enjoyable qualities of food. I also try really hard to eat delicious food. In general I find the more I pay attention to my eating and the better it tastes, the LESS I eat. I am looking for satisfaction and stimulation in food. Lousy food doesn't give me that. Good food does.
I am told that in Japan you are taught to eat until you are half full and then stop. This works for me. At that point I start sipping my tea or chatting or playing with my salad or reading the paper. I might grab an olive or something. I SPECIFICALLY put small gnoshy things on the table so I can nibble without really eating much. I will find over the next half an hour or so I feel fuller and fuller and fuller. If I feel motivated to eat after an hour I'll definitely eat more.
So my answer is mindfulness. Teach yourself this. It really is worth learning and you can do it!2 -
xbowhunter wrote: »One time on a cruise ship I did hypnosis for weight loss. They kept saying over and over to listen to your body and as soon as your full stop eating. It worked great for about 2 weeks> my take away from that is the signals are there if you let them in to your physical side....
Insert sound of needle skipping off record. Weight loss....on a cruise ship? That’s a complete oxymoron.2
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