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"Be Kind to Yourself" Success stories...what does it mean and how do you do it regularly? Pls. share

NewLIFEstyle4MENewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 3,570Member Member Posts: 3,570Member Member
Over my many years of being on Mfp, I've heard untold numbers of times people saying:
"Be Kind to Yourself". I know most people know/understand what this means and it sounds simple enough to understand and do. But for YEARS, this "be kind to yourself" to me was a LOT like many things my father used to tell me a lot when I was young, and I would just shake my head in agreement with him and walk out thinking, "he's a crazy old coot--I don't have a CLUE what he means. Example, he would constantly tell me stuff like "don't go looking for trouble, because you will surely find it or when I couldn't achieve something, he'd say--that's cause you aint hungry enough, once you get hungry enough, you'll find the answers to what you're looking for" or you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink, you can send a boy to school, but you can't make him think" Stuff like that, when I was young and even up until my getting much older, I just didn't get it/undestand it--sounded like crazy old coot talk.

The same thing with "Be kind to yourself" that sounds easy to understand and do...but for a lot of people--it's not. That's why I'm starting this thread--so people can understand "get-it" what being kind to oneself actually looks like and means in a practical everyday way. One way I think we can be kind(er) to ourselves is our user names. I see many people with user names that are seemingly used/chosen to be funny or "lighthearted" but they are really negative and maybe even sublimely keeping them down and out. Like for example of a user name (I'm making these up, hopefully there is nobody using this name--if they are, sorry about that). User names like "Imfatandhopeless" or "bigolepig" or fatforeverandloving it, stuff like that. If we choose a user name that is more, ummmm, positive and uplifting, more "powerful" if you will...that is being kind(er) to oneself and may inspire you.

So, if you will...please add some ways that you are kind to yourself (on a regular basis) and also what does being kind to yourself mean to you?


  • NewLIFEstyle4MENewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 3,570Member Member Posts: 3,570Member Member
    solieco1 wrote: »
    For me it's the self talk. I try to never say something to myself even in my head that I wouldn't say to my best friend. If I do, I bring myself back and remind myself that I AM my best friend and deserve to be treated that way <3

    Wow...just wow and I love this--how very excellent and doable/some tremendous things to practice/exercise daily. You ROCK, and thank you ever so much for your reply.
  • Running2FitRunning2Fit Posts: 710Member Member Posts: 710Member Member
    solieco1 wrote: »
    For me it's the self talk. I try to never say something to myself even in my head that I wouldn't say to my best friend. If I do, I bring myself back and remind myself that I AM my best friend and deserve to be treated that way <3

    I think this really gets to the heart of what it means to be kind to yourself. We are our own harshest critics. A lot of people talk to themselves in ways they would never talk to their loved ones. People beat themselves up for one binge or one missed workout. People are afraid to even start trying to lose weight because they tell themselves they can’t do it.

    Positive self-talk is powerful and important. No one reaches their goals while telling themselves they suck and can’t do it. Believing in yourself, treating yourself well, allowing yourself not to be perfect are all so important.

    Additionally, it’s important to make yourself a priority. Your workout, your diet, your needs are important and it’s okay to say no to others when what they are asking for will interfere with your efforts be be healthier (mentally and physically). It’s okay to put yourself first and make sure you are taken care of. This attitude isn’t just good/healthy for you, it’s better for everyone in your life because you are better able to help others when you’ve made sure you are in a good place.
  • msf74msf74 Posts: 3,501Member Member Posts: 3,501Member Member
    It means accepting that I'm human and human beings make mistakes and let themselves down all the time - but that's ok.
  • xelsooxelsoo Posts: 128Member Member Posts: 128Member Member
    As another user said, you have to care for yourself, appreciate your body which carries you everyday and give yourself some self-love. We constantly and subconsciously criticize ourselves by comparing us to others or reminiscing on our flaws, when we should be making an active effort to tell ourselves at least once a day how awesome we are!

    Also letting yourself live a little and enjoy treats and things you love. The 'punishing yourself' mentality because you have a 'wrong' diet or lifestyle takes you nowhere good!
  • neugebauer52neugebauer52 Posts: 671Member Member Posts: 671Member Member
    "Being kind to myself" used to always mean, that I ate something - the more, the better. After 9 months with MFP I have slowly learned that there are other ways being kind to myself and I remind myself daily of that fact. But I still go to my local coffee shop for a good quality espresso or cappuccino - at about 100 calories, I can afford that on my daily meal plan and for me it's a special treat I wouldn't want to miss.
  • NewLIFEstyle4MENewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 3,570Member Member Posts: 3,570Member Member
    PigHerder wrote: »
    I've said it to a few people on here who seem to be (a) embracing extreme and completely unnecessary deprivation, or (b) beating themselves up or sinking into despair because their weight has gone up or stayed steady for a few weeks. But it's a useful maxim for me too - a reminder to put myself first sometimes. This weight loss thing is going to be a long journey - a year would be my best guess - and I refuse to make myself miserable in the process. Little things can make all the difference to my state of mind: To have a lie in on a Sunday morning, take a soak in the bath, treat myself to a pedicure, or just curl up with a book... I count them all as important self-care and a reminder that I am a god damned delight at any weight, and I should treat myself accordingly. ;)

    Thank you so much for replying to this thread--Man oh man, I LOVE when you say, understand and do this:
    " This weight loss thing is going to be a long journey - a year would be my best guess - and I refuse to make myself miserable in the process." How utterly powerful and doable, this "business" of REFUSING to allow/make yourself miserable in this process. That a HUGE deal and a a big ole powerful CHOICE and for you to "get this" is everything, also your examples are terrific too! a fabulous way to think and live.

  • NewLIFEstyle4MENewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 3,570Member Member Posts: 3,570Member Member
    This is a really good idea for a thread! Mine is practical . When my pants are tight—TOM, too much dinner , retaining salt—instead of beating myself up about it I put on something soft and comfortable- or the next size up.

    {{{{ <3 Hey Queenbee <3 }}}}}}
    I just love, love, LOVE the "idea" of being practical/practicality--especially in this "getting down to size" business. Substituting "beating one's self up" for being practical and wearing something soft and comfy instead during the in-between sizes and/or those bloated times is so doable and wise. Thanks so much for contributing to this thread!

  • NewLIFEstyle4MENewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 3,570Member Member Posts: 3,570Member Member
    Another way one can be kinder to oneself is to REFUSE to compare oneself with someone else. This doesn't sound as important as it actually is. When we compare ourselves with one another or someone else, some super YUCK happens in/thru and to us. We set ourselves up for all kinds negativity and woe. MAKING oneself refuse to compare ourselves or our situations with others, helps in so many ways, I can't even count. Comparing ourselves with others is a recipe for not only "beating ourselves up" but keeps us in a "funk/box/self-imposed prison" that will make it almost impossible to get out of and also makes us build unreasonable expectations on ourselves, that in turn depresses and makes us feel hopeless. Catching/recognizing yourself "comparing yourself with others" and REFUSING to that to yourself is a winning way to help us be kind(er) to ourselves!
    edited November 2018
  • NewLIFEstyle4MENewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 3,570Member Member Posts: 3,570Member Member
    heart3313 wrote: »
    Finding my own self worth recently... I have always entrusted my husband with telling me how beautiful I was and how amazing I looked. He continues on, but it wasn't until a week ago when I saw some stuff on his phone that had me questioning everything. This was the motivation I needed to get going. Men think that they can view images of other woman and it shouldn't affect their significant other- but it does and it did. It hurt a lot. Mostly because my worth and self esteem was based on what he thought of me. I immediately began self doubt... but slowly and surely I am seeing myself in a new light. I want to lose this weight for me and feel beautiful for myself. I'm not sure of this vent goes along with what you posted but I reflected on it anyway :)

    Thank you so much for posting here and {{{{ <3 HUGS <3 }}}}}}
    I LOVE and am so inspired by your refusing to take-on/embrace bitterness at what's going on in your life, but instead powerfully and wisely CHOOSE/CHOSE to make yourself embrace getting/being BETTER instead of again, bitter--as EASY as getting/being bitter is, for you to go against the grain and MAKE yourself see this as an "opportunity" to throw down the gauntlet (with yourself) and see this as motivation...You ROCK, period. I also am thrilled for you that you are "slowly but SURELY" seeing yourself in a new light, that's just so tremendous--YAY YOU!!!!! {{{{Hugs again AND the highest of fives to you }}}}}
  • elysiannnelysiannn Posts: 9Member Member Posts: 9Member Member
    For me, I just try to not say negative things to myself. Sometimes, you can't fight it and the thoughts come on their own, but actively dismissing them when they pop up is extremely helpful.
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