Replies

• lemurcat2 Posts: 3,572Member Member Posts: 3,572Member Member

  I don't think it's really a legitimate distinction in such a hard and fast way. I think most people are likely abstainers about some things and moderators about other things or that ability to moderate varies depending on context.
  
  The person who came up with that distinction is now pushing a more nuanced (well, slightly) concept that people are one of four tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels, although people can be a mix. I think we actually see a lot of truth to that categorization when it comes to weight loss (I'm mostly a Questioner).
  
  https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/?utm_source=website&utm_medium=homepage
  
  Anyway, for me neither moderator or abstainer is really correct. Even when I was overweight I didn't really keep so-called junk foods in my house, and if I overate in my house it was because I decided to indulgence and purchased something for that purpose (ordered Indian or bought ice cream or what not). I mostly overate at restaurants (good restaurants, I was a fat food snob), and at work where food is always around.
  
  Since I still go to the same kinds of restaurants, and cannot control what's at work, I control what I can, focusing on eating only at meals, filling meals with the foods I want to be eating, and portion control at restaurants. When losing I often had about 200 cal of ice cream at the end of the day (oddly I've lost my sweet tooth entirely lately), and I was able to moderate that. But I did not bake, as I find freshly baked goods harder to control, and more important I did not snack at work or at home (never really did at home, though), since once I start snacking it's hard for me to control what I eat and I don't feel satisfied. None of this really had to do with the type of food -- we'd get pizza for work lunch and I'd use portion control and have it with salad.

  March 8, 2019 2:41PM

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• sardelsa Posts: 8,473Member Member Posts: 8,473Member Member

  I would definitely say I am a moderator. However, if I do happen to not be able to moderate something for some reason (very rare) and I really overdo it, I will typically never have it again (or not a lot of it at least) so it is a built in mechanism. I try to not to overdo anything because I develop taste aversions very easily.

  March 8, 2019 2:45PM edited March 8

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• Phirrgus Posts: 1,904Member Member Posts: 1,904Member Member

  I'm very much a creature of habit regarding what I eat each week - my diary is just boring from week to week, but what is rarely on there simply because I have a hard time moderating the intake, whole different story.
  
  I have no trouble with cereal, unless that cereal is Captain Crunch or Apple Jacks
  
  I want to be a moderator regarding all the foods I like, but my weak will necessitates abstaining from some.

  March 8, 2019 2:47PM

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• zeejane03 Posts: 993Member Member Posts: 993Member Member

  Moderator except for three things
  -bagels with cream cheese (I buy singles now, and it's a once in a while treat)
  -Snyders honey mustard pretzels (cannot eat these anymore though because they're to hard for my teeth-last time I had them I actually broke a tooth and had to get a crown )
  -and then those darn amazing flavored pea crsips-one time they were part of a dollar deal at the store and I literally sat down and ate two bags. In my defense they're pretty small bags, but it was almost 900 calories, ouch. I no longer buy them
  
  Everything else I can moderate pretty well.

  March 8, 2019 3:11PM edited March 8

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• cdlee4 Posts: 508Member Member Posts: 508Member Member

  I'm an abstainer. I want to be a moderator so bad but I just can't and will easily eat an entire pizza over just one slice.

  March 8, 2019 3:15PM

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• xxxSheilaxxx Posts: 97Member Member Posts: 97Member Member

  I can't really moderate very well. I have little self control lol
  
  I was addicted to Mean Bean Monster energy drinks, chuck full of carbs and sugars. I cut those out cold turkey and wont even look at them because I know I'll be right back to my 2 or 3 cans-a-day habit. Not only drinking all my calories but super unhealthy too.
  
  I have been able to allow myself to a treat occasionally, like birthday cake at parties or the occasional candy bar if I have enough calories. Thankfully though my sweet tooth has gone away for the most part.
  

  March 8, 2019 3:21PM

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• steveko89 Posts: 1,439Member Member Posts: 1,439Member Member

  I'm a hybrid. For the most part I can eat what I want and moderate pretty well. Certain things really stoke my inner fat kid and I struggle mightily:
  - Taco Bell (It's like I'm physically incapable of ordering less than 1200 calories... maybe happened once)
  - Quality Pizza
  - Donuts (Boston Creme FTW)
  - Waffles/pancakes/french toast type breakfasts
  - Rolls/bread on the table at a restaurant

  March 8, 2019 3:22PM

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• mbaker566 Posts: 10,225Member Member Posts: 10,225Member Member

  mostly, i'm a moderator, but with brownies i have to mostly be an abstainer

  March 8, 2019 3:30PM

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• puffbrat Posts: 2,500Member Member Posts: 2,500Member Member

  I'm mostly a moderator, but there are some things from which I abstain or at least recognize that if I buy it I will eat it all in just 1 or 2 sittings (like Girl Scout cookies).

  March 8, 2019 3:54PM

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• lalalacroix Posts: 794Member Member Posts: 794Member Member

  I'm also mostly a moderator, but I'm careful with crunchy snacks like chips, popcorn and Chester Cheetos. For those things I weigh my portion and then put the bag far, far away from me. But being aware of the foods I have difficulty with is helpful.

  March 8, 2019 3:59PM

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• garystrickland357 Posts: 598Member Member Posts: 598Member Member

  I'm mostly a moderator.
  I have to abstain around glazed doughnuts and all chips (except tortilla chips for some reason).

  March 8, 2019 4:04PM

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• MikePTY Posts: 3,412Member, Premium Member Posts: 3,412Member, Premium Member

  I'm a combination. I think I can moderate on most things, including cheeseburgers (like a proper, made in a restaurant burger, not some lean beef homemade thing), which are my favorite but I'm able to successfully fit in my diet on occasion without overdoing it.
  
  The two things I find myself really having to abstain from are pizza and wings. I'm not really capable of doing either in a way that is moderate enough that they are manageable. Both are most likely a 2000-3000 calorie endeavor.

  March 8, 2019 4:08PM

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• mph323 Posts: 3,325Member Member Posts: 3,325Member Member

  I'm a moderator, in that I don't abstain from any food I'm not intolerant of, however, I achieve that modeation by designating specific circumstances for when I will eat the foods I have less control over. I keep treats in the house but only in single-serving packs and if I can stop at one. Other things I love, like ice cream and potato chips I don't bring into the house, but will eat when I'm out if I have the calories. I guess the closest I come to abstaining is to just not make baked goods like cookies and cakes unless it's for company and I can send the leftovers home with guests, because I will definately eat all the leftovers for breakfast.

  March 8, 2019 4:12PM

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• nvmomketo Posts: 12,031Member Member Posts: 12,031Member Member

  I am mostly an abstainer. If I skip certain foods, I find it very easy to moderate everything else. If I eat a food that i normally skip, as long as it is not a common thing, I can moderate it no problem. If I eat it with frequency then it becomes a problem.
  
  Since I skip foods in favor if healthier foods, this works well for me.

  March 8, 2019 4:26PM

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• CSARdiver Posts: 6,208Member Member Posts: 6,208Member Member

  Moderator with the vast majority of foods.
  
  I'm a near abstainer when is comes to potato chips. I gift myself portions on rare occasions, but man I can tear through a bag in no time.

  March 8, 2019 4:26PM

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• estherdragonbat Posts: 5,155Member Member Posts: 5,155Member Member

  Mostly a moderator. There are certain foods I know I can't control myself around for long, but that list is shrinking all the time. I find I am a bit self-conscious about over-doing it around the dinner table. I'm at my weakest when company's gone home and I'm back here with the leftovers. So, I can hold myself to a single slice of lemon meringue pie for dessert. The half-pie sitting in the fridge, calling my name two hours later is a problem. In practice, I don't buy a lemon meringue pie, but if I had the calories and wanted to indulge, I'd buy a lemon meringue tart (and just the one).
  
  I can eat potato knishes and bourekas by the cart-load. I don't trust myself around them at all.
  
  Over time, the desire to indulge has grown less intense, but there are still foods I don't buy because better safe than sorry. And there are plenty of indulgences I do bake/cook/buy because I CAN handle them.

  March 8, 2019 5:24PM

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• diannethegeek Posts: 14,831Member Member Posts: 14,831Member Member

  I consider myself a moderator because I don't consider anything off limits. That said, I agree with those above who say that you'll find a lot of middle ground between the two camps.
  
  I don't consider anything off limits, but there are also things that I bring into my house very rarely, if at all. I don't have cakes, cookies, little debbie snacks, chips, crackers, etc in the house 95% of the time. I might have them if I'm out and about running errands, at a friend's house, dining out, but it really depends on the day.
  
  But if there's something I really want or if it's a special occasion or a craving that just won't pass, I'm not going to deny myself that food.
  
  For me personally, thinking about food as "I can have this if I want it but not right now" instead of "I can't have this food because I'm on a diet" was a game changer. I recognize that it's not the same for everyone, though.

  March 8, 2019 6:14PM

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• diannethegeek Posts: 14,831Member Member Posts: 14,831Member Member

  cdlee4 wrote: »

  I'm an abstainer. I want to be a moderator so bad but I just can't and will easily eat an entire pizza over just one slice.

  
  I'm the same way with pizza, which is why I only eat it when I can fit about 800 calories of pizza into my face calories.

  March 8, 2019 6:15PM

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• rhtexasgal Posts: 544Member Member Posts: 544Member Member

  I am a hybrid of the two ... mostly moderator with a little bit of abstainer thrown in. I totally cut off all sodas - no bubbly fizziness of the regular or diet sort - because I always crave popcorn and candy when I have sodas. I cannot really have popcorn anymore as it will trigger an ulcerative colitis flare if I have more than one handful. Since I know I cannot stop at a handful, I don't even bother. I am not a big candy person but with soda, I would be so I stopped. Other than that, I am a moderator. I have not stopped eating candy, I just don't buy it! A hershey kiss here or there is about it ...
  
  I don't limit myself from most anything else. However, I do look at things through the lens of "how much cardio will it take to burn that off!?" and typically, I tell myself no or limit myself to a taste or two. You discover that there are just some things not worth it in the long run.

  March 8, 2019 6:24PM

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• Phirrgus Posts: 1,904Member Member Posts: 1,904Member Member

  estherdragonbat wrote: »

  
  Over time, the desire to indulge has grown less intense.....

  This part, here...this is what I continually hope for.
  

  March 8, 2019 6:32PM

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