After a year - over 150lbs lost - learned a few things
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NovusDies
Posts: 8,940 Member
Mid February marked my first weightlossaversary. On my final check-in for my first year I lost 158 pounds. This rate of loss is not advisable unless, like me, you have/had an extreme amount of weight to lose like I faced. For me the journey is not over but it should be mostly done on my second anniversary.
I have been losing the weight loss war for 3 decades. I have had a few temporary battle wins but the war had gone badly up until last year. I have believed many myths and felt personally cursed. I have never had a sustainable plan.
What changed for me was finally looking back at my past failures and finally learning from my mistakes. I won't cover them all but I will cover the biggest three.
1) Extreme changes lead to extremely early failures. This one leads the pack. Each time I started I thought I needed to make big changes in order to lose weight. Most often it would include some combination of eating "healthy", rigorous exercise, and eating as little as possible. These attempts usually ended with me going a little nutso, eating everything in sight, and then promising that on Monday I would start over. I kept my promise but it was never the next Monday it was months if not years later.
2) I will be happy if I lose weight so that is my main goal. This one ties very closely to number 1. It is a flaw in attitude that basically led me to think I can sacrifice happiness while losing weight because the goal would make happy (happier).
3) I can effectively measure my daily/weekly progress on the bathroom scale. This one has gotten me since I was a teenager.
It is a popular saying that insanity is repeating the same course of action while expecting different results. I guess I was insane for a long time.
Here is what I learned:
1) When I started I realized I should only change the things I needed to lose weight. This meant creating a calorie deficit and experimenting with how I stay full. I didn't do meaningful exercises for months. I ate the way I had been eating just less of it. I have changed a lot since I started but I made small changes over time.
2) The goal is to be happy NOW. By now I mean today. My goal is to get through today as happy as I can. I won't always succeed but when I don't I try to learn from it. My weight loss is a giant forest that can be overwhelming if I think about it too much. My day is a single tree. I only need to get through most of my days in a deficit and let the weight loss take care of itself.
3) My weight is going to fluctuate. Since I started I have learned that my weight is a range of 7.7lbs. The bathroom scale will eventually report my progress but fluctuations can mask my fat loss for weeks at a time. This is another reason to focus on being happy today instead of tying my happiness to a number on the scale. I am not sure this can be linked often enough here: http://physiqonomics.com/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-weight-and-fluctuations/
I will be happy to answer any questions if any of the above doesn't make total sense but I only claim to be an expert on what it takes to get MYSELF through a successful year of weight loss. I will say that calorie counting definitely works and if you believe that it doesn't you have fallen into one of the many traps I have in the past. For the past 6 months I have tracked my weight loss vs my calorie deficit very closely in a spreadsheet and I have lost my weight at around 3500 calories per pound. It hasn't mattered where the calories have come from which has been everything from broccoli to alcoholic beverages, low-fat yogurt to full fat ice cream, and lean fish to ribeye steaks.
This is a follow-up thread to:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10722305/my-new-normal
I have been losing the weight loss war for 3 decades. I have had a few temporary battle wins but the war had gone badly up until last year. I have believed many myths and felt personally cursed. I have never had a sustainable plan.
What changed for me was finally looking back at my past failures and finally learning from my mistakes. I won't cover them all but I will cover the biggest three.
1) Extreme changes lead to extremely early failures. This one leads the pack. Each time I started I thought I needed to make big changes in order to lose weight. Most often it would include some combination of eating "healthy", rigorous exercise, and eating as little as possible. These attempts usually ended with me going a little nutso, eating everything in sight, and then promising that on Monday I would start over. I kept my promise but it was never the next Monday it was months if not years later.
2) I will be happy if I lose weight so that is my main goal. This one ties very closely to number 1. It is a flaw in attitude that basically led me to think I can sacrifice happiness while losing weight because the goal would make happy (happier).
3) I can effectively measure my daily/weekly progress on the bathroom scale. This one has gotten me since I was a teenager.
It is a popular saying that insanity is repeating the same course of action while expecting different results. I guess I was insane for a long time.
Here is what I learned:
1) When I started I realized I should only change the things I needed to lose weight. This meant creating a calorie deficit and experimenting with how I stay full. I didn't do meaningful exercises for months. I ate the way I had been eating just less of it. I have changed a lot since I started but I made small changes over time.
2) The goal is to be happy NOW. By now I mean today. My goal is to get through today as happy as I can. I won't always succeed but when I don't I try to learn from it. My weight loss is a giant forest that can be overwhelming if I think about it too much. My day is a single tree. I only need to get through most of my days in a deficit and let the weight loss take care of itself.
3) My weight is going to fluctuate. Since I started I have learned that my weight is a range of 7.7lbs. The bathroom scale will eventually report my progress but fluctuations can mask my fat loss for weeks at a time. This is another reason to focus on being happy today instead of tying my happiness to a number on the scale. I am not sure this can be linked often enough here: http://physiqonomics.com/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-weight-and-fluctuations/
I will be happy to answer any questions if any of the above doesn't make total sense but I only claim to be an expert on what it takes to get MYSELF through a successful year of weight loss. I will say that calorie counting definitely works and if you believe that it doesn't you have fallen into one of the many traps I have in the past. For the past 6 months I have tracked my weight loss vs my calorie deficit very closely in a spreadsheet and I have lost my weight at around 3500 calories per pound. It hasn't mattered where the calories have come from which has been everything from broccoli to alcoholic beverages, low-fat yogurt to full fat ice cream, and lean fish to ribeye steaks.
This is a follow-up thread to:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10722305/my-new-normal
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Replies
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This is really insightful, thank you for sharing it.
I really like your thoughts on being happy today instead of waiting for a future state. This is the type of thinking I've had to encourage in myself -- not just with weight loss, but with other goals as well. It's so easy to fall into the mindset of waiting to be happy instead of figuring out what I can do today.9 -
Congrats on your excellent loss! Great info and very inspiring.5
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janejellyroll wrote: »This is really insightful, thank you for sharing it.
I really like your thoughts on being happy today instead of waiting for a future state. This is the type of thinking I've had to encourage in myself -- not just with weight loss, but with other goals as well. It's so easy to fall into the mindset of waiting to be happy instead of figuring out what I can do today.
For me it hasn't always just been about food. There are some things that I hate that I let happen too often before I started losing weight. One of them was letting my hair get too long. It gets curly when it grows out and I despise it. I promised myself I would get it cut more often and I have. It is one easy way to make myself happy or cut down on being unhappy.
Also, I have learned about the world of pedicures.
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Congratulations on your milestone!
Like Jane, I think your point about being happy with today instead of waiting for some future something is so important and is something I constantly struggle with. Four years into this and I'm still working on being happy with each day and learn more how to live in the truth of embracing that idea with every day that passes.
Thank you for posting your insights10 -
Congrats on your progress. Great job!!!1
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Great post, useful insights!2
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Congratulations on all you've accomplished. Thank you for sharing this with us! Very informative and insightful from your personal experience.1
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Everything you said resonates with me. I've learned a lot this time around too, and I believe I've learned how to get lasting results. Congratulations on finding your way to happiness despite the scale, but still able to celebrate your successes and be proud of yourself!1
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Congratulations! Not just on the weight loss, but also on learning you don't have to be a slave to old ideas that never worked. Kudos, you earned them 🙂2
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Thank goodness for common sense. You are a star and your post is exceedingly welcome I hope many many people read it and take away all the good advice contained in it.
You are amazing and you an inspiration you have had to work hard to get where you are but you havent over complicated it. Well done and all the best for the future.3 -
Happy for you and your revelations0
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janejellyroll wrote: »This is really insightful, thank you for sharing it.
I really like your thoughts on being happy today instead of waiting for a future state. This is the type of thinking I've had to encourage in myself -- not just with weight loss, but with other goals as well. It's so easy to fall into the mindset of waiting to be happy instead of figuring out what I can do today.
For me it hasn't always just been about food. There are some things that I hate that I let happen too often before I started losing weight. One of them was letting my hair get too long. It gets curly when it grows out and I despise it. I promised myself I would get it cut more often and I have. It is one easy way to make myself happy or cut down on being unhappy.
Also, I have learned about the world of pedicures.
I think for many of us, food isn’t the disease, just a symptom. But it is often the easiest thing to blame as opposed to really looking at why. I know it was for me.6 -
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Your posts confirm, again and again, why you're in the "most likely to succeed" section of the yearbook!!!
Keep calm and carry on!!!6 -
Congratulations ... not just on the weight loss, which is super, but on finding a way of living that is going to last. What a great story to share. I hope others who gave an extreme amount of weight to lose find this thread.2
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Since other people have commented on the focus on being happy today part I wanted to expand on it a little. Like others have said it is not something I can just say it and it works itself out it is something that requires effort. Designing a plan that allows for mental food treats, deals with cravings, and keeps me sane is part of it but so are the hair cuts, pedicures, vehicle detailing, etc. I have to be kind to myself because it helps offset some of the less great days and there will be some of those regardless.
For me it is also a mental discipline. I still have a lot of weight to lose but I do my best to keep pushing that out of my head. That is not what I want myself thinking about... at least no more than necessary. It is a source of frustration and trying to be happy is about minimizing those as much as possible.
It is also about forgiving yourself for gaining weight in the first place. This may not apply to everyone but I certainly tried to punish myself in previous attempts to lose weight. It is hard to try and be kind to myself and happy today while holding a grudge against myself. I had to let it go.
Time is going to pass whether I am losing weight or not. If I work at being happy today time seems to pass faster. If I am miserable time seems to pass slower. The best way I can describe some of my previous attempts was trying to strangle time to get results faster. Of course I was really just strangling myself and making it impossible to succeed. Now I don't fight it (most days). I just focus on today as much as possible and forget the long journey I have been on and will still be on for some amount of time in the future.
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Very helpful ideas--Happy for your success!0
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I can't like this thread - and your progress and honesty - enough.7
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Beautiful, insightful post. This would make a great "must read" for the Motivation & Support forum!1
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What a beautiful post. Congratulations to you on both your weight loss and your journey through happiness and health.0
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