The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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Morning friends,alot of my drinking tends not to be just cuz I wanna get drunk,it's the desire to get rid of a particularly stressful mood,it could be sadness, anxiety,irritation,etc so I think I just need to find a way to either eliminate the moods or find a better way to cope,my doctor thinks I'm on Lexapro but I don't wanna take it,I had a terrible time in another A.D years ago,it turned me into such a strange person and I didn't recognize myself, physically or mentally it was creepy! I think better self care and better stress dealing is the way to go, wishes for a happy and healthy AF day!
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I've was an active alcoholic for most of my adult life, it ruined my marriage and almost cost me the relationship I had with my children, not to mention the toll it took on my health. I was obese with high BP pre-diabetic, if I kept it up I wouldn't live to see 60. So inspired by my daughter who was pregnant with her first child I took matters into my own hands. I had weight loss surgery in June of 2017, and one of the prohibitions was no alcohol. I took it seriously and not only did I lose the weight (185lbs) but I haven't had a drink since. It was not easy, I don't get invited to many parties or get to go out with my friends as I am no longer the fat funny drunk they all want. But I feel great, I'm healthy and I have my children and grandchild to keep me busy. I don't miss drinking, I miss the social life it gave me but its a small sacrifice with which I will gladly endure.14
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@lorrainequiche59 Anyway, having a clear conscience is the best pillow. This is AWESOME! I so need to hear all this now. I'm back to day 2. UGH. But I woke up happy and slept like a baby so that is very motivating. Happy AF weekend to you all!
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https://thesoberschool.com/33-easy-steps-to-stop-drinking-alcohol/
Good morning friends ! Great comments Lorraine. I enjoyed reading all the posts this Morning. This blog entry reminded me of me!3 -
I have enjoyed reading this thread and you all have been so encouraging to me, thank you!!6
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AND like @RubyRed427 said we can get "lazy" or just gradually forget how important it is to work at this new way of living. If we get complacent then we will have trouble sticking to our resolve to be AF.
I couldn't agree more. I tried "wandering" into sobriety and it just didn't work. I'm not white-knuckling it either, just making a deliberate decison and plan to be AF. Kind of like losing weight. It never worked long term until I made losing weight and then controlling weight a priority in my life.
This time I've put alcohol in the same place as cigarettes....not even one. I'm hoping that I'll get to the same place where I don't even think about it anymore. Not there yet by any means, but that's the hope.
Ruby....if you listen to more RE podcasts, he'll mention his own story now and then. The worst thing a problem drinker can say? "I got this"!
Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend!
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@no44s4me Wonderful and inspiring! I too am a former smoker and there is NO way I would ever even try to have "just one" cigarette ever again. I too want to get to the place where I just don't think about alcohol anymore. I'm down 3 lbs since really putting the pedal to the metal now. 22 to go!
Happy Father's Day to those that are dads. And to those that have lost their dads (like me) , those that want to be dads but cannot, those whose dads are sick, those that had terrible or absent dads etc.It is truly a bittersweet day. I am sending a big hug. 8 -
@no44s4me That’s a perfect expression about what i have been doing “wandering”. I have always done well when I have a plan, write down goals, journal and research. I’m a learner at heart. I love it.
Best wishes to you. I will continue to listen to RE podcasts. I like them; I feel like their my friends because the guests and host knows exactly how I feel.
@JenT304 You said it best. I echo your sentiments about Father’s Day. Xo1 -
Tenacity149 wrote: »I have enjoyed reading this thread and you all have been so encouraging to me, thank you!!
I like your username Tenacity! Great words for all of us to remember. Happy you commented.4 -
I've was an active alcoholic for most of my adult life, it ruined my marriage and almost cost me the relationship I had with my children, not to mention the toll it took on my health. I was obese with high BP pre-diabetic, if I kept it up I wouldn't live to see 60. So inspired by my daughter who was pregnant with her first child I took matters into my own hands. I had weight loss surgery in June of 2017, and one of the prohibitions was no alcohol. I took it seriously and not only did I lose the weight (185lbs) but I haven't had a drink since. It was not easy, I don't get invited to many parties or get to go out with my friends as I am no longer the fat funny drunk they all want. But I feel great, I'm healthy and I have my children and grandchild to keep me busy. I don't miss drinking, I miss the social life it gave me but its a small sacrifice with which I will gladly endure.
Inspiring story! Thanks for sharing it!!5 -
Just wanted to say great job to those of you staying sober and keep up the good work! I'll have 11 years in July thanks to the AA program and fellowship. Best thing I ever did, although the first few years were a bit like trying to climb Mt Everest, lol.
Mt. Everest is right! Congrats on 11 years!
@whitpauly self care is a great term! I believe in it. I think especially for parents of young children, it’s too easy to try to self medicate like I did with wine. Now, I’m in a different phase of life and I really have no excuse ... self care should be especially preserved when overcoming an addiction.
It’s why it’s ok to leave parties early or decline invitations to booze filled events.
Last night, I was tempted when I drove by my fav bar in my old neighborhood; I knew my friends were all there laughing and talking. But I drove right by, went to my quiet apartment, and poured a seltzer. I made a deliberate choice not to get bombed. But it was kind of a lonely feeling, but I have no regrets. I think the more we exercise our willpower muscle the better.4 -
Great Comments and insights. Nice to see all the new groupies & to read people's stories.
Hugs 3 -
Thanks so much to y'all for recommending Recovery Elevator. I've really been feeling like my "streak" is about to end. Today is Day 79 for me, but I'm not feeling very strong. I was playing on my laptop when one of those maddening "We are restarting in 2 minutes" things came on. The restarts for updates usually last about 30 minutes, and they always seem to come right when I'm in the middle of something--in this case a Babbel French lesson. So based on your recommendations, I grabbed my phone and went to the RE podcast. The host's insight that hit me was that his first 2.5 years of sobriety ended because he approached it from a mindset of lack. His current almost 5 year successful AF life he attributes to approaching it from a mindset of opportunity and adventure awaiting him when he is alcohol free. I love that.
I've been so unable to function for the last 2 weeks. I shared about a health thing. Before my good insurance from the teaching job I'm leaving ends in September, I'm trying to catch up on all the health care I've neglected far too much. Yay--a summer of colonoscopy, mammography, dental exam, bone density test, blood work . . . . ugh. My mind has been saying, "Aging is hard. It might not even be worth it." I know it sounds melodramatic, but I almost feel like I have a very slight case of PTSD. That job in lockup was hard and stressful and scary every day. I got through it successfully, but now that it's over, I'm kind of collapsing. And I REALLY want a drink. But I love the idea that there are adventures awaiting me that can only be realized without alcohol. I need to stop focusing on the "I can't drink" feeling of lack and let myself gently recover from this hard year and anticipate how much lies ahead as long as I let myself be AF to experience it and not take the easy way out to numb everything with alcohol. As you say, @RubyRed427, self-care is crucial. I've been fighting meditation and walking and even swimming in my beloved river for some reason, but tomorrow starts my week 3 of summer and I'm determined not to let day 80 get away from me.10 -
@donimfp I bet you’re right when you say you may have some
PTSD from such an emotionally challenging job never knowing what type of day was ahead or moods they were in .... you bent so much over the last year, maybe you are temporarily falling apart. You’ll be ok I’m sure. Allow yourself some
Down time and immerse yourself in your swimming and hobbies. It’s the summer of YOU! Congrats on Day 80 in advance xo8 -
@RubyRed427, your compassionate response has me tearing up. Thank you! I do love this forum because everyone supports and is rooting for everyone else. I'm wishing everyone a great week. It's dark, thundering, and raining where I am, but today that feels cozy.7
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@donimfp One of my fave sayings when I feel like I'm falling apart is another Melodie Beattie blurb, "Sometimes we have to fall apart to get put back together." And a dear elderly friend of mine shared something with me that her Chiropractor told her years ago, when we are dealing with a really stressful situation: Our body will get us through it, but once the situation is over is when our body tells the tale and we need to take care of IT. So PLEASE do some "self care" (self care is not selfish, it's self-full). Allow yourself the time you need to heal....@RubyRed427 said it best... Hugs 3
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OMG @lorrainequiche59, thank you for the insight. Today my neck had a “crick” like I slept on it wrong and can’t turn my head. I told my husband my body is betraying me! But thanks so much for that info. I’ll try to relax into it. It feels like booze would help so much but I know it wouldn’t. Xoxoxoxo4
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OMG @lorrainequiche59, thank you for the insight. Today my neck had a “crick” like I slept on it wrong and can’t turn my head. I told my husband my body is betraying me! But thanks so much for that info. I’ll try to relax into it. It feels like booze would help so much but I know it wouldn’t. Xoxoxoxo
A deep tissue massage and spa day would help better than booze😀. It’s takes me about two weeks to settle into summer mode after the school year is over. It may take you three because of the ultra stressful year.❤️4 -
I am AF now over 11 years so when I am uptight or physically stressed I’m not thinking of a drink anymore, so I was looking for alternative methods a friend got me started in mindfulness. I have been using an app called calm and “ meditating “ or just calming myself through my breath
If I become anxious or uptight I focus on my breathing for a few minutes and empty my mind ( which at my age🤔is normal) and can feel the tension leaving me
I know this is just me personally but I believe it works so it does10 -
Morning friends,sounds like everyone is doing well have a fabulous AF day! 4
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