Somebody help me wrap my head around this.

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Replies

  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,292 Member
    edited July 2019
    I know you said you're using a scale- are you sure he's measuring accurately? And weighing everything?

    As far as I can tell, we have had the same scale since we moved in together (before we were married) and we've been married 9 years, it's an XOXO that is still widely recommended on these boards. He's been using it correctly for a long time, it's the same one I use.

    is this a kitchen scale you are referring to?
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
    erickirb wrote: »
    erickirb wrote: »
    sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is

    I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.

    what about when he is at work etc. he may snack all the time and not log it

    He is a full time SAHD, I work full time, from home. My main "office" is in the main living space, full view of the kitchen and his desk.
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    erickirb wrote: »
    sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is

    I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.

    Are you together 24/7? do neither of you work outside the home? People see me and think I eat nothing, even my wife. But there's no limit to how much food I can and do sneak at times.

    No, neither of us work outside the home. We grocery shop together, we stock the kitchen together, we prepare most meals together, we even work out together.
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
    erickirb wrote: »
    I know you said you're using a scale- are you sure he's measuring accurately? And weighing everything?

    As far as I can tell, we have had the same scale since we moved in together (before we were married) and we've been married 9 years, it's an XOXO that is still widely recommended on these boards. He's been using it correctly for a long time, it's the same one I use.

    is this a kitchen scale you are referring to?

    Yes, this one:

    https://www.amazon.com/OXO-Grips-Scale-Pull-Out-Display/dp/B0020L6T7K
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
    erickirb wrote: »
    erickirb wrote: »
    erickirb wrote: »
    sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is

    I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.

    what about when he is at work etc. he may snack all the time and not log it

    He is a full time SAHD, I work full time, from home. My main "office" is in the main living space, full view of the kitchen and his desk.
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    erickirb wrote: »
    sounds to me like he is eating more that you are unaware of... secret eaters type thing. I am 155 and lose on 1900, so either his hormones are out of whack, or he is eating more than you think he is

    I honestly used to think this. Or just forgetting to log something, but I've been watching him more closely since he's been complaining about not losing, and I haven't noticed anything. I even help him find accurate entries in MFP all the time. We log our food together often.

    Are you together 24/7? do neither of you work outside the home? People see me and think I eat nothing, even my wife. But there's no limit to how much food I can and do sneak at times.

    No, neither of us work outside the home. We grocery shop together, we stock the kitchen together, we prepare most meals together, we even work out together.

    He should have his thyroid checked then.

    I suggested that this morning actually. I appreciate the suggestion, this is what I'm looking for. Other things we can look into (while he continues to log his food and keep doing what he is doing).

    He said he had a full blood panel last time he was at the doctor, which was a loooong time ago. I can't convince him to go to the doctor, the dentist, or the eye doctor (he's almost out of contacts...) but I'll see if I can get him to go be tested.

    I know our doctor (we have the same one) tests thyroid stuff, he tested it because I have anxiety, just to rule out a physical issue causing my anxiety.
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
    CMStahl75 wrote: »
    What are his ratios carb/fat/protein? I know my mom has always had issues losing weight and the only thing that seems to work for her is when she goes heavy on lean protein and lighter on fat/carbs than most people. She lost 60lbs and has managed to keep it off for 5 years doing this - same calories as everyone else but different ratio...

    40-30-30 C-F-P
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Taking a step back...

    Aside from the numbers not lining up the way you'd expect, are there any issues here? Any reason to suspect/worry about a greater health concern?

    2100 cals for maintenance or slightly below with the changes in his body that he's seeing... I'd call that a win.

    No, just that he is overweight. He's lost a lot (a year ago) and some more before that. He was 270 at his highest, he lost that about 3 years ago, down to 210, then he gained back to about 230 and then last year he lost down to below 200, he's just really wanting to go all the way to his goal this time. I think partly because Iost all of my weight, I'm ready to move on to different fitness goals, he feels like he's been left behind.

    I find it frustrating, I keep telling him to count calories and trust that it will work and that it's science and it will work, and for the first 4 weeks that was fine, but we keep going forward and I don't have anything else to tell him.

    Part of it may be that he is close to his goal weight. The last 10%, even if it's 20lbs, it still the last 10%. The last few pounds for me came off much slower, but that was intentional.
  • magnusthenerd
    magnusthenerd Posts: 1,207 Member
    Thyroid shouldn't particularly account for the differences from predicted to tracked TDEE - that's more likely to a hundred or two hundred calories off for someone with a no longer functional thyroid from what I've read. Not to mention, it should manifest as a lack of energy and activity. Still, blood work is usually cheap, so getting a test doesn't seem unreasonable.

    At 7 weeks, it seems unlikely he's retained water from exercise to explain it.

    Are there any foods he tends to regularly eat that you don't? I'm wondering if there's a bad entry or two, but only on things he eats so the calorie is coming in low affecting just his numbers.
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
    J72FIT wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Taking a step back...

    Aside from the numbers not lining up the way you'd expect, are there any issues here? Any reason to suspect/worry about a greater health concern?

    2100 cals for maintenance or slightly below with the changes in his body that he's seeing... I'd call that a win.

    No, just that he is overweight. He's lost a lot (a year ago) and some more before that. He was 270 at his highest, he lost that about 3 years ago, down to 210, then he gained back to about 230 and then last year he lost down to below 200, he's just really wanting to go all the way to his goal this time. I think partly because Iost all of my weight, I'm ready to move on to different fitness goals, he feels like he's been left behind.

    I find it frustrating, I keep telling him to count calories and trust that it will work and that it's science and it will work, and for the first 4 weeks that was fine, but we keep going forward and I don't have anything else to tell him.

    Part of it may be that he is close to his goal weight. The last 10%, even if it's 20lbs, it still the last 10%. The last few pounds for me came off much slower, but that was intentional.

    This is what I suspect. He should lower his weekly goal to 1/2lbs per week. Maybe up cals a little. Or even take a 1 week diet break.

    Thanks. Currently he's losing about 0.25lb/week, so I think we should stay where we are at. If the weight trending app ever stops trending downward we will have to readjust. He asked about a diet break, I told him 7 weeks was probably a bit premature. Maybe plan one at 12 weeks.

    I have suggested to him that he make an effort to be a little more active over the course of the day, he does have a tendency to sit a long time on days he isn't, and then go 10,000% some days. He does construction work with his dad 1-2 days a week, those are the days the fitbit estimates his calories in the upper 3K to 4K range. Gym days are over 3K, but he's pretty sedentary the 1-3 other days of the week.
  • lg013
    lg013 Posts: 215 Member
    Thyroid shouldn't particularly account for the differences from predicted to tracked TDEE - that's more likely to a hundred or two hundred calories off for someone with a no longer functional thyroid from what I've read. Not to mention, it should manifest as a lack of energy and activity. Still, blood work is usually cheap, so getting a test doesn't seem unreasonable.

    At 7 weeks, it seems unlikely he's retained water from exercise to explain it.

    Are there any foods he tends to regularly eat that you don't? I'm wondering if there's a bad entry or two, but only on things he eats so the calorie is coming in low affecting just his numbers.
    Thyroid shouldn't particularly account for the differences from predicted to tracked TDEE - that's more likely to a hundred or two hundred calories off for someone with a no longer functional thyroid from what I've read. Not to mention, it should manifest as a lack of energy and activity. Still, blood work is usually cheap, so getting a test doesn't seem unreasonable.

    At 7 weeks, it seems unlikely he's retained water from exercise to explain it.

    Are there any foods he tends to regularly eat that you don't? I'm wondering if there's a bad entry or two, but only on things he eats so the calorie is coming in low affecting just his numbers.

    I have thyroid issues and there is always a noticeable drop in energy levels to the point where it’s extremely difficult to upkeep my normal activity (and migraines too). My first sign is always a sudden change in energy levels which means it’s time to get my levels checked. (I also bloat and start to gain weight if I let it go.). If he’s experienced this, get into a doctor sooner rather than later. Getting on the right medications to balance makes a huge difference in my energy levels and weight maintenance.
  • steveko89
    steveko89 Posts: 2,216 Member
    I'm skeptical of the accuracy of his fitbit. At 5'10" 195 I'd expect a TDEE more in the 2500 calorie range unless his activity is just insane. I had a similar spurt of recomp when I thought I should be losing weight and what I ultimately discovered was that my heart rate monitor was giving me way too many calories during workouts so I was basically lean bulking instead of cutting. I only discovered this by starting to use the nSuns adaptive TDEE spreadsheet I found on r/fitness (link to the page below). It back-calculates actual TDEE from daily weight and calorie intake. Once I started eating the right amount I when from low 180s to 170 from August to January (so through holidays and general midwest winter when people often struggle to lose weight most).

    https://thefitness.wiki/weight-loss-101/
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,259 Member
    J72FIT wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Taking a step back...

    Aside from the numbers not lining up the way you'd expect, are there any issues here? Any reason to suspect/worry about a greater health concern?

    2100 cals for maintenance or slightly below with the changes in his body that he's seeing... I'd call that a win.

    No, just that he is overweight. He's lost a lot (a year ago) and some more before that. He was 270 at his highest, he lost that about 3 years ago, down to 210, then he gained back to about 230 and then last year he lost down to below 200, he's just really wanting to go all the way to his goal this time. I think partly because Iost all of my weight, I'm ready to move on to different fitness goals, he feels like he's been left behind.

    I find it frustrating, I keep telling him to count calories and trust that it will work and that it's science and it will work, and for the first 4 weeks that was fine, but we keep going forward and I don't have anything else to tell him.

    Part of it may be that he is close to his goal weight. The last 10%, even if it's 20lbs, it still the last 10%. The last few pounds for me came off much slower, but that was intentional.

    This is what I suspect. He should lower his weekly goal to 1/2lbs per week. Maybe up cals a little. Or even take a 1 week diet break.

    Thanks. Currently he's losing about 0.25lb/week, so I think we should stay where we are at. If the weight trending app ever stops trending downward we will have to readjust. He asked about a diet break, I told him 7 weeks was probably a bit premature. Maybe plan one at 12 weeks.

    I have suggested to him that he make an effort to be a little more active over the course of the day, he does have a tendency to sit a long time on days he isn't, and then go 10,000% some days. He does construction work with his dad 1-2 days a week, those are the days the fitbit estimates his calories in the upper 3K to 4K range. Gym days are over 3K, but he's pretty sedentary the 1-3 other days of the week.

    If the construction is out in the sun and the fitbit uses HR, it might be overestimating. Yes, construction can be hard work, but a HR is going to tend to over calculate work done in heat because the body's heart rate rises to deal with heat, not because of actual increase oxygen demands.

    This is true. But even on his days he sits at home and just goes to church in the AM, that day it said he burned 2,900, which is higher than I expected. We estimated he burns 2500-2600 on average (when calculating his calorie goal) and thus a 2100 calorie goal.

    He started at 1800, he was tired a lot and didn't have any energy at the gym. He felt bad. I just asked him he said for most of June he was trying for 1800, but he felt bad.
  • lg013
    lg013 Posts: 215 Member
    J72FIT wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Taking a step back...

    Aside from the numbers not lining up the way you'd expect, are there any issues here? Any reason to suspect/worry about a greater health concern?

    2100 cals for maintenance or slightly below with the changes in his body that he's seeing... I'd call that a win.

    No, just that he is overweight. He's lost a lot (a year ago) and some more before that. He was 270 at his highest, he lost that about 3 years ago, down to 210, then he gained back to about 230 and then last year he lost down to below 200, he's just really wanting to go all the way to his goal this time. I think partly because Iost all of my weight, I'm ready to move on to different fitness goals, he feels like he's been left behind.

    I find it frustrating, I keep telling him to count calories and trust that it will work and that it's science and it will work, and for the first 4 weeks that was fine, but we keep going forward and I don't have anything else to tell him.

    Part of it may be that he is close to his goal weight. The last 10%, even if it's 20lbs, it still the last 10%. The last few pounds for me came off much slower, but that was intentional.

    This is what I suspect. He should lower his weekly goal to 1/2lbs per week. Maybe up cals a little. Or even take a 1 week diet break.

    Thanks. Currently he's losing about 0.25lb/week, so I think we should stay where we are at. If the weight trending app ever stops trending downward we will have to readjust. He asked about a diet break, I told him 7 weeks was probably a bit premature. Maybe plan one at 12 weeks.

    I have suggested to him that he make an effort to be a little more active over the course of the day, he does have a tendency to sit a long time on days he isn't, and then go 10,000% some days. He does construction work with his dad 1-2 days a week, those are the days the fitbit estimates his calories in the upper 3K to 4K range. Gym days are over 3K, but he's pretty sedentary the 1-3 other days of the week.

    If the construction is out in the sun and the fitbit uses HR, it might be overestimating. Yes, construction can be hard work, but a HR is going to tend to over calculate work done in heat because the body's heart rate rises to deal with heat, not because of actual increase oxygen demands.

    This is true. But even on his days he sits at home and just goes to church in the AM, that day it said he burned 2,900, which is higher than I expected. We estimated he burns 2500-2600 on average (when calculating his calorie goal) and thus a 2100 calorie goal.

    He started at 1800, he was tired a lot and didn't have any energy at the gym. He felt bad. I just asked him he said for most of June he was trying for 1800, but he felt bad.

    That’s the worst when you don’t have the energy for the gym. You mentioned he was working to lose weight and more successful prior to this...was he on an 1800 plan then? If so, were his energy levels drastically different?
  • poisonesse
    poisonesse Posts: 526 Member
    did you try swapping Fitbits? Maybe his is wonky. NO activity monitor is 100%, they just give you an idea. In some cases a good idea, in other cases... not so much.
  • J72FIT
    J72FIT Posts: 5,958 Member
    edited July 2019
    He is 5'10", 195lbs. He is aiming to lose 15-20 more pounds. His weight has plateaued around 196-197 for months.

    I am 5'10" at 178lbs and my maintenance/TDEE is 2600 cals/day.

    I think your husband can go as high as 2500 cals per day and still lose. I would go slow. 100 cals per day per week. Worst case, if he starts to gain you can go back down.