What nobody tells you about losing weight
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springlering62 wrote: »Fear that if I quit working out I’ll stop losing, fear that if I relax or eat a little more or go into maintenance, I’ll blow back up, fear I’m losing too fast, fear I’m not losing at all, fear that the run of good has come to an end or was all in my head, fear of losing muscle, fear of bulking, fear I’m too big, fear I’m too small, fear the chicks who lift way heavy at the gym look at me and think “wimp”, fear of overdoing it, fear of missing just one more class or workout I could squeeze in, fear of losing motivation, fear that I’ll go to put my butt in those tiny little shorts and they won’t fit all of a sudden and everyone will know me as a fraud. Fear fear fear. It seems the more I lose, the more confused I get, and the more everyone wants to give me their opinion. Most of all, I fear I’m craving validation whereas before I didn’t really give a *kitten* what anyone thought, and that bothers me most of all. I’ve grown accustomed to attaboys, and that really sucks. That’s just not me at all.
Man, I've been trying to phrase this exact feeling and you really hit the nail on the head there. I have to constantly remind myself that it's an irrational fear. Like it took a while for me to gain and lose the weight - one bad day isn't going to put all the pounds back on! And yet I find myself worried that one bad day will undo 6 months of hard work.
I'd extend that fear to my dating life. I worry that if I meet someone, he wouldn't have noticed me xxlbs ago, and that if those pounds come back maybe he'll leave. Totally over-worrying about it, but no one warned me how much my dating perspective would change.
A friend of mine at the gym had a good attitude I have adopted. I am not going to gain the weight back but if something happens and I do, I know how to get it off, I am stubborn, I will do it again!10 -
RelCanonical wrote: »I did not realize just how much weight I was carrying on my INNER thighs. I don’t have big hips but I do have big thighs and that’s how - it’s all on the inside. Chub rub will probably always be a thing, although it is much better now. Also, the inside of my thighs are one big stretch mark, which I find very fascinating more than bothersome.
I had a lot gof eight there too and a lot of chub rub. No longer though. But it has taken a gazzilion squats and lots of running and weight training to be rid of it2 -
ExistingFish wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »I did not realize just how much weight I was carrying on my INNER thighs. I don’t have big hips but I do have big thighs and that’s how - it’s all on the inside. Chub rub will probably always be a thing, although it is much better now. Also, the inside of my thighs are one big stretch mark, which I find very fascinating more than bothersome.
I've lost the weight, the chub rub is still there. Part of it is just genetics and how far apart your hip bones keep your legs. When I was a teen I didn't have it, but always as an adult.
I had to laugh as I have always had chub rub, but it is actually better now than when I was a teenager.
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I realized how much easier I can move and do stuff now and that motivates me to only make it better
I am comparing older pictures and that sparks even more motivation.
moving faster in stores, getting around, etc. I keep telling myself I do not want to be a old slow big person blocking the way.5 -
I appreciate the little things I wasn’t able to experience when I was 70+lbs heavier.
Like not worrying if I’ll fit in a booth, being too big to fit in a movie seat theater, and not getting winded after walking for 5 min.
Also, people are an awful lot nicer...12 -
That you'll be able to sit SIDEWAYS in the middle of the tub (vs. sitting the longway) in the tub, like you used to when you were SMALL and/or young--such fun sitting is sideways/in the middle of the tub, such memories!10
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I actually kind of love the stretch marks on my legs, lol. They are a constant reminder of how far I've come and what I've accomplished. I don't know if I would like them as much if they were in a more obvious area, but as they are now, it's like a lil trophy I carry around. The only thing that bothers me about them is how it's harder to remove hair in that area.7
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I can now do a standing quad stretch and almost do pose of the dancer.7
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Photographs! After 20 years of avoiding cameras because of my size I now feel my body shape (dressed of course) is bearable in photos. Now when I look at photos of me all I see is my nose
Who knew I had a big nose? Did I really expect weightloss to knock off 20+years and turn me into a beauty? 
Ho hum - I feel so much better, can do so many more things that at almost 65 who cares about photo images! 14 -
Relationship issues..6
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gradchica27 wrote: »ExistingFish wrote: »long_for_me wrote: »I am shocked by this. I was wearing size 16 or 18 40lbs ago. I am still wearing size 16! I was expecting a drop in size by now :-\ ! I am 5ft 9...but still!
I'm also 5'9". When I am at a higher weight, it takes at least 20 lbs for me to notice in my clothes. It took 35 for me to drop a size. Once I got close to goal (the first time around... I'm back up 30 lbs), it didn't take as much. If I dropped 5 -10 lbs I noticed.
It must be a height thing. I'm 5'0", 5lbs changes how my clothes fit. 10-15lbs is a size change for sure.
I have total lost 40lbs, at 35lbs lost I'd gone from a 14 to a 4, an XL to a S/M. At 40lbs, 5 additional pounds lost, I'm now shopping for 2/XS in pants and S in shirts.
The flip side though, If I gain 15lbs, I physically can't wear my clothes anymore. I have to buy a whole new wardrobe or things just won't fit. There is just less leeway for short people. Less area to spread the weight around.
I hear you. I’m 5’4” on a good day. 10-15 lbs is at least one size. Maybe 2. I’m 128-130 now, comfortable in a 2 (a few are too big, a few too tight, 95% fit). By 135 I’m in a 4, 2s are indecently tight. By 145, it’s a 6 at least.
I threw out/donated all my 4s except 1 church dress for fat days/emergencies. So if things get bad I am living in workout clothes other than on Sunday morning. Maybe that’ll keep me on track 😆
I’m 5’3” and I agree my size changes a lot with small changes in weight. But on the other hand, most of my clothes have generous elastic/stretch. This means I can be in denial about weight gain when I can still squeeze into my clothes. I’m 50 years old and a mom/teacher. So partly it’s current fashions and partly the style for middle aged women.2 -
That the closer you get to goal weight, the more unexpected things that sag and the bigger your belly looks in proportion, to the point that, sitting here, typing this and looking down, it looks “eight sizes ago”.
Everything has gone fluffy this week and nothing fits properly all of a sudden.
Maybe I’m due for a massive whoosh, amiright?4 -
I'm starting to see how people can just not see themselves a certain way. I'm down about 50lbs. When I look in the mirror, I think I look nice and slim. When I take a picture, I FINALLY see a slim person - that took a while. When I look down at myself, though. Ehhhh. I can't say that I don't think I've made any progress, as there are obvious examples, like how much legs are much slimmer on the inner thigh. However, I just don't really feel slim? I've still got about ten pounds before I'm in a healthy weight range, so it's not like I'm floating near underweight and thinking this - I actually am still overweight - but still. Maybe my eyeballs haven't caught up yet, and the mirror and the pictures are just better at telling the truth.2
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There were some posts about dating someone after you've lost weight and if they would still like you if you gained the weight back. I have the opposite version of that story. I had a boyfriend that I lived with for 5 years. When we broke up I was my heaviest - not due to the break-up but due to the fact that neither he or I ever moved and ate enough for 2 couples. His metabolism kept him fairly slim but mine had me topping 275/280 area- he liked big girls. Even after we broke up I wasn't worried about it until I got sick, then I lost 125 pounds. When he saw me somewhere he messaged me (why take the time to message an ex to tell them they're not attractive???) to let me know if he had met me at 150 pounds he wouldn't have even looked at me twice. It was rude and hurtful but good in a way. It killed any lingering feelings I may have had for him.
My point is if people are jerks; they might break up with you over your weight but if they do they aren't good a good choice for a life partner.20 -
That you can look fatter after losing some initial weight. The body does not lose weight in a uniform manner and for some reason my stomach looks bigger in comparison to other parts of me.11
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Ok some people did tell me this but not nearly enough: maintaining a healthy weight takes just as much time and commitment as losing weight. All the things I did to lose weight are still the things I need to keep on doing regardless of my current weight. FOR LIFE.18
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That even after you lose weight, your insecurities won't be magically cured. It helps, sure, but at times you're going to revert back to that "fat girl" mentality, and it might take you two hours of sitting in the car to talk yourself into going inside your strange, new gym because there's a lot of people inside.8
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Summers are hard to loose weight! It’s hot so I don’t want to cook inside( which leads to fast junky foods), lots of weekend get togethers, snacks everywhere, late nights..... ugh I thought because weather is nice I would be more active and it would be easier, not so much lol 😂 I for some reason keep forgetting that this is not easy, but have to remember that it is worth it.3
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Summers are hard to loose weight! It’s hot so I don’t want to cook inside( which leads to fast junky foods), lots of weekend get togethers, snacks everywhere, late nights..... ugh I thought because weather is nice I would be more active and it would be easier, not so much lol 😂 I for some reason keep forgetting that this is not easy, but have to remember that it is worth it.
Seriously, I always plan non-cooking meals like sandwiches on the really hot weeks because just the thought of turning on the oven or burner breaks me out in a sweat.2
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