I don’t know how to relate to people who..
Replies
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Motorsheen wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »I can't relate to people who are disingenuous or flaky. Say what you mean. Do what you say you're going to do. Stop messing people around.
I am a forgiving person but too much of this *kitten* turns me off.
https://i.imgur.com/oNfV8Yc.mp4
This is actually one of my pet peeves. If you can make it, say that. If you can't, say that. But don't tell me you can do something, then just not come.
I feel you. It is so annoying, and honestly it can be quite disheartening.
It’s social anxiety. I want to go and then I chicken out. Still flaky but maybe you can relate better if there’s a true explanation.
I would agree with this, if it happened once or twice. But I just had 2 months of almost all my friends unable to hang out on monday evenings. Even though, they had previously said they could, before I moved my board game meetup event to mondays. Now, to their credit, they were all able to mostly come up with reasons why they couldn't make it (work, long drive, pet sick, ect.). But the moment I moved it back to tuesdays, everyone's instantly available.
I'm willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt, that maybe those two months were bad. But I've had friends in the past (who I no longer speak to nowadays) that either couldn't, or wouldn't, want to get togehter and do stuff for 3-6 months at a time. Yet they'd always say 'oh we should hang out' or 'we should totally do [insert topic we were just discussing here]'. Like, why would you say that, if you clearly didn't want to hang out? And, we're like 2 hours away from eachother. Its not like they couldn't find a time to do something, if they wanted to.
Yeah, I don’t believe any vague invitations. The let’s get together some time thing is a polite evasion IMO.
If people really want to get together they will be specific.
so, how does... say, 6PM tonight look for you?
wait.
stupid ole' geography
never mind.
When they perfect teleportation hmu1 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »I can't relate to people who are disingenuous or flaky. Say what you mean. Do what you say you're going to do. Stop messing people around.
I am a forgiving person but too much of this *kitten* turns me off.
https://i.imgur.com/oNfV8Yc.mp4
This is actually one of my pet peeves. If you can make it, say that. If you can't, say that. But don't tell me you can do something, then just not come.
I feel you. It is so annoying, and honestly it can be quite disheartening.
It’s social anxiety. I want to go and then I chicken out. Still flaky but maybe you can relate better if there’s a true explanation.
I would agree with this, if it happened once or twice. But I just had 2 months of almost all my friends unable to hang out on monday evenings. Even though, they had previously said they could, before I moved my board game meetup event to mondays. Now, to their credit, they were all able to mostly come up with reasons why they couldn't make it (work, long drive, pet sick, ect.). But the moment I moved it back to tuesdays, everyone's instantly available.
I'm willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt, that maybe those two months were bad. But I've had friends in the past (who I no longer speak to nowadays) that either couldn't, or wouldn't, want to get togehter and do stuff for 3-6 months at a time. Yet they'd always say 'oh we should hang out' or 'we should totally do [insert topic we were just discussing here]'. Like, why would you say that, if you clearly didn't want to hang out? And, we're like 2 hours away from eachother. Its not like they couldn't find a time to do something, if they wanted to.
Yeah, I don’t believe any vague invitations. The let’s get together some time thing is a polite evasion IMO.
If people really want to get together they will be specific.
Yea, but it still bothers me. Don't keep me on the hook. Cause, if I like you, I will make time for you. Instead, let me know if you can/can't make it. If you do or don't want to hang out. If nothing else, so I can make other plans.1 -
I don't know how to relate to people who live in a dream world.
I know some people who are in their early fifties and strongly BELIEVE they are going to win a multi-million lottery eventually. They go out shopping for their dream house every weekend, even though they're working at low wage jobs. I find it sad & I can't relate to them.
I also don't know how to relate to people whose beauty & weight loss goals are unattainable. This also makes me sad, women my age whose goal is to resemble Gigi Hadid or Kylie Jenner.
Maybe I'm too much of a cynic or realist, I dunno.2 -
mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »I can't relate to people who are disingenuous or flaky. Say what you mean. Do what you say you're going to do. Stop messing people around.
I am a forgiving person but too much of this *kitten* turns me off.
https://i.imgur.com/oNfV8Yc.mp4
This is actually one of my pet peeves. If you can make it, say that. If you can't, say that. But don't tell me you can do something, then just not come.
I feel you. It is so annoying, and honestly it can be quite disheartening.
It’s social anxiety. I want to go and then I chicken out. Still flaky but maybe you can relate better if there’s a true explanation.
I would agree with this, if it happened once or twice. But I just had 2 months of almost all my friends unable to hang out on monday evenings. Even though, they had previously said they could, before I moved my board game meetup event to mondays. Now, to their credit, they were all able to mostly come up with reasons why they couldn't make it (work, long drive, pet sick, ect.). But the moment I moved it back to tuesdays, everyone's instantly available.
I'm willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt, that maybe those two months were bad. But I've had friends in the past (who I no longer speak to nowadays) that either couldn't, or wouldn't, want to get togehter and do stuff for 3-6 months at a time. Yet they'd always say 'oh we should hang out' or 'we should totally do [insert topic we were just discussing here]'. Like, why would you say that, if you clearly didn't want to hang out? And, we're like 2 hours away from eachother. Its not like they couldn't find a time to do something, if they wanted to.
Yeah, I don’t believe any vague invitations. The let’s get together some time thing is a polite evasion IMO.
If people really want to get together they will be specific.
Yea, but it still bothers me. Don't keep me on the hook. Cause, if I like you, I will make time for you. Instead, let me know if you can/can't make it. If you do or don't want to hang out. If nothing else, so I can make other plans.
Of course it bothers you; it’s rude and inconvenient. But can you relate?0 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »I don't know how to relate to people who live in a dream world.
Try working with people like that.... it's exhausting
I think of it as "imaginary futures".
It's okay to have goals ( I guess ), but living in a grounded reality seems to work pretty well for most of us.1 -
I can't relate to people that have no compulsion to learn more, grow more, try more...if it was financially feasible, I would likely become a professional student! I have 2 degrees and both require continuing education; I enjoy the schooling more than the actual occupation!1
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your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »I can't relate to people who are disingenuous or flaky. Say what you mean. Do what you say you're going to do. Stop messing people around.
I am a forgiving person but too much of this *kitten* turns me off.
https://i.imgur.com/oNfV8Yc.mp4
This is actually one of my pet peeves. If you can make it, say that. If you can't, say that. But don't tell me you can do something, then just not come.
I feel you. It is so annoying, and honestly it can be quite disheartening.
It’s social anxiety. I want to go and then I chicken out. Still flaky but maybe you can relate better if there’s a true explanation.
I would agree with this, if it happened once or twice. But I just had 2 months of almost all my friends unable to hang out on monday evenings. Even though, they had previously said they could, before I moved my board game meetup event to mondays. Now, to their credit, they were all able to mostly come up with reasons why they couldn't make it (work, long drive, pet sick, ect.). But the moment I moved it back to tuesdays, everyone's instantly available.
I'm willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt, that maybe those two months were bad. But I've had friends in the past (who I no longer speak to nowadays) that either couldn't, or wouldn't, want to get togehter and do stuff for 3-6 months at a time. Yet they'd always say 'oh we should hang out' or 'we should totally do [insert topic we were just discussing here]'. Like, why would you say that, if you clearly didn't want to hang out? And, we're like 2 hours away from eachother. Its not like they couldn't find a time to do something, if they wanted to.
Yeah, I don’t believe any vague invitations. The let’s get together some time thing is a polite evasion IMO.
If people really want to get together they will be specific.
Yea, but it still bothers me. Don't keep me on the hook. Cause, if I like you, I will make time for you. Instead, let me know if you can/can't make it. If you do or don't want to hang out. If nothing else, so I can make other plans.
Of course it bothers you; it’s rude and inconvenient. But can you relate?
Nope, which is why I posted it here. I simply can't relate to folks that do that to others.3 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »I can't relate to people who are disingenuous or flaky. Say what you mean. Do what you say you're going to do. Stop messing people around.
I am a forgiving person but too much of this *kitten* turns me off.
https://i.imgur.com/oNfV8Yc.mp4
This is actually one of my pet peeves. If you can make it, say that. If you can't, say that. But don't tell me you can do something, then just not come.
I feel you. It is so annoying, and honestly it can be quite disheartening.
It’s social anxiety. I want to go and then I chicken out. Still flaky but maybe you can relate better if there’s a true explanation.
Social anxiety I can completely relate to and would never get upset about. I have had to cancel in the past due to anxiety etc...
I'm talking about people who make plans, then cancel, then go out with other people. Or people who aren't even polite enough to give a reason.3 -
Motorsheen wrote: »seltzermint555 wrote: »I don't know how to relate to people who live in a dream world.
Try working with people like that.... it's exhausting
I think of it as "imaginary futures".
It's okay to have goals ( I guess ), but living in a grounded reality seems to work pretty well for most of us.
You think most people live in a grounded reality?? I’m not sure that that is the reality I know but perhaps I’m wrong and/or it is different for you.1 -
Oh that’s differentyour_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »I can't relate to people who are disingenuous or flaky. Say what you mean. Do what you say you're going to do. Stop messing people around.
I am a forgiving person but too much of this *kitten* turns me off.
https://i.imgur.com/oNfV8Yc.mp4
This is actually one of my pet peeves. If you can make it, say that. If you can't, say that. But don't tell me you can do something, then just not come.
I feel you. It is so annoying, and honestly it can be quite disheartening.
It’s social anxiety. I want to go and then I chicken out. Still flaky but maybe you can relate better if there’s a true explanation.
Social anxiety I can completely relate to and would never get upset about. I have had to cancel in the past due to anxiety etc...
I'm talking about people who make plans, then cancel, then go out with other people. Or people who aren't even polite enough to give a reason.
1 -
mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »I can't relate to people who are disingenuous or flaky. Say what you mean. Do what you say you're going to do. Stop messing people around.
I am a forgiving person but too much of this *kitten* turns me off.
https://i.imgur.com/oNfV8Yc.mp4
This is actually one of my pet peeves. If you can make it, say that. If you can't, say that. But don't tell me you can do something, then just not come.
I feel you. It is so annoying, and honestly it can be quite disheartening.
It’s social anxiety. I want to go and then I chicken out. Still flaky but maybe you can relate better if there’s a true explanation.
I would agree with this, if it happened once or twice. But I just had 2 months of almost all my friends unable to hang out on monday evenings. Even though, they had previously said they could, before I moved my board game meetup event to mondays. Now, to their credit, they were all able to mostly come up with reasons why they couldn't make it (work, long drive, pet sick, ect.). But the moment I moved it back to tuesdays, everyone's instantly available.
I'm willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt, that maybe those two months were bad. But I've had friends in the past (who I no longer speak to nowadays) that either couldn't, or wouldn't, want to get togehter and do stuff for 3-6 months at a time. Yet they'd always say 'oh we should hang out' or 'we should totally do [insert topic we were just discussing here]'. Like, why would you say that, if you clearly didn't want to hang out? And, we're like 2 hours away from eachother. Its not like they couldn't find a time to do something, if they wanted to.
Yeah, I don’t believe any vague invitations. The let’s get together some time thing is a polite evasion IMO.
If people really want to get together they will be specific.
Yea, but it still bothers me. Don't keep me on the hook. Cause, if I like you, I will make time for you. Instead, let me know if you can/can't make it. If you do or don't want to hang out. If nothing else, so I can make other plans.
Of course it bothers you; it’s rude and inconvenient. But can you relate?
Nope, which is why I posted it here. I simply can't relate to folks that do that to others.
Darn. I was hoping I could help.0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »seltzermint555 wrote: »I don't know how to relate to people who live in a dream world.
Try working with people like that.... it's exhausting
I think of it as "imaginary futures".
It's okay to have goals ( I guess ), but living in a grounded reality seems to work pretty well for most of us.
You think most people live in a grounded reality?? I’m not sure that that is the reality I know but perhaps I’m wrong and/or it is different for you.
Yep, I live in a 100% grounded reality; I don't lie to myself about anything.
.... and sometimes, but thankfully not often, it really sucks too.1 -
I can't relate to folks who won't let other drivers merge into traffic on the freeway or driving around town.
It's just a lane change, nobody is asking for your first-born.7 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »I can't relate to people who are disingenuous or flaky. Say what you mean. Do what you say you're going to do. Stop messing people around.
I am a forgiving person but too much of this *kitten* turns me off.
https://i.imgur.com/oNfV8Yc.mp4
This is actually one of my pet peeves. If you can make it, say that. If you can't, say that. But don't tell me you can do something, then just not come.
I feel you. It is so annoying, and honestly it can be quite disheartening.
It’s social anxiety. I want to go and then I chicken out. Still flaky but maybe you can relate better if there’s a true explanation.
I would agree with this, if it happened once or twice. But I just had 2 months of almost all my friends unable to hang out on monday evenings. Even though, they had previously said they could, before I moved my board game meetup event to mondays. Now, to their credit, they were all able to mostly come up with reasons why they couldn't make it (work, long drive, pet sick, ect.). But the moment I moved it back to tuesdays, everyone's instantly available.
I'm willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt, that maybe those two months were bad. But I've had friends in the past (who I no longer speak to nowadays) that either couldn't, or wouldn't, want to get togehter and do stuff for 3-6 months at a time. Yet they'd always say 'oh we should hang out' or 'we should totally do [insert topic we were just discussing here]'. Like, why would you say that, if you clearly didn't want to hang out? And, we're like 2 hours away from eachother. Its not like they couldn't find a time to do something, if they wanted to.
Yeah, I don’t believe any vague invitations. The let’s get together some time thing is a polite evasion IMO.
If people really want to get together they will be specific.
Yea, but it still bothers me. Don't keep me on the hook. Cause, if I like you, I will make time for you. Instead, let me know if you can/can't make it. If you do or don't want to hang out. If nothing else, so I can make other plans.
Of course it bothers you; it’s rude and inconvenient. But can you relate?
Nope, which is why I posted it here. I simply can't relate to folks that do that to others.
Darn. I was hoping I could help.
Thank you.
But how could you help? 0 -
mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »I can't relate to people who are disingenuous or flaky. Say what you mean. Do what you say you're going to do. Stop messing people around.
I am a forgiving person but too much of this *kitten* turns me off.
https://i.imgur.com/oNfV8Yc.mp4
This is actually one of my pet peeves. If you can make it, say that. If you can't, say that. But don't tell me you can do something, then just not come.
I feel you. It is so annoying, and honestly it can be quite disheartening.
It’s social anxiety. I want to go and then I chicken out. Still flaky but maybe you can relate better if there’s a true explanation.
I would agree with this, if it happened once or twice. But I just had 2 months of almost all my friends unable to hang out on monday evenings. Even though, they had previously said they could, before I moved my board game meetup event to mondays. Now, to their credit, they were all able to mostly come up with reasons why they couldn't make it (work, long drive, pet sick, ect.). But the moment I moved it back to tuesdays, everyone's instantly available.
I'm willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt, that maybe those two months were bad. But I've had friends in the past (who I no longer speak to nowadays) that either couldn't, or wouldn't, want to get togehter and do stuff for 3-6 months at a time. Yet they'd always say 'oh we should hang out' or 'we should totally do [insert topic we were just discussing here]'. Like, why would you say that, if you clearly didn't want to hang out? And, we're like 2 hours away from eachother. Its not like they couldn't find a time to do something, if they wanted to.
Yeah, I don’t believe any vague invitations. The let’s get together some time thing is a polite evasion IMO.
If people really want to get together they will be specific.
Yea, but it still bothers me. Don't keep me on the hook. Cause, if I like you, I will make time for you. Instead, let me know if you can/can't make it. If you do or don't want to hang out. If nothing else, so I can make other plans.
Of course it bothers you; it’s rude and inconvenient. But can you relate?
Nope, which is why I posted it here. I simply can't relate to folks that do that to others.
Darn. I was hoping I could help.
Thank you. But how could you help?
I have found being able to understand the reasons other people do things doesn’t excuse their bad behavior but helps me to “relate.” I thought perhaps it might work for other people too. Oh well2 -
who......always have something to say about another’s post but always answers with a passive aggressive snarky comment.4
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your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »I can't relate to people who are disingenuous or flaky. Say what you mean. Do what you say you're going to do. Stop messing people around.
I am a forgiving person but too much of this *kitten* turns me off.
https://i.imgur.com/oNfV8Yc.mp4
This is actually one of my pet peeves. If you can make it, say that. If you can't, say that. But don't tell me you can do something, then just not come.
I feel you. It is so annoying, and honestly it can be quite disheartening.
It’s social anxiety. I want to go and then I chicken out. Still flaky but maybe you can relate better if there’s a true explanation.
I would agree with this, if it happened once or twice. But I just had 2 months of almost all my friends unable to hang out on monday evenings. Even though, they had previously said they could, before I moved my board game meetup event to mondays. Now, to their credit, they were all able to mostly come up with reasons why they couldn't make it (work, long drive, pet sick, ect.). But the moment I moved it back to tuesdays, everyone's instantly available.
I'm willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt, that maybe those two months were bad. But I've had friends in the past (who I no longer speak to nowadays) that either couldn't, or wouldn't, want to get togehter and do stuff for 3-6 months at a time. Yet they'd always say 'oh we should hang out' or 'we should totally do [insert topic we were just discussing here]'. Like, why would you say that, if you clearly didn't want to hang out? And, we're like 2 hours away from eachother. Its not like they couldn't find a time to do something, if they wanted to.
Yeah, I don’t believe any vague invitations. The let’s get together some time thing is a polite evasion IMO.
If people really want to get together they will be specific.
Yea, but it still bothers me. Don't keep me on the hook. Cause, if I like you, I will make time for you. Instead, let me know if you can/can't make it. If you do or don't want to hang out. If nothing else, so I can make other plans.
Of course it bothers you; it’s rude and inconvenient. But can you relate?
Nope, which is why I posted it here. I simply can't relate to folks that do that to others.
Darn. I was hoping I could help.
Thank you. But how could you help?
I have found being able to understand the reasons other people do things doesn’t excuse their bad behavior but helps me to “relate.” I thought perhaps it might work for other people too. Oh well
aaaahhhh, I see. Normally, I like to try and understand someone else's point of view. I just don't understand why someone would do that to someone else. It makes no sense to me, at all.
If you can explain it, I'd be game to listen. I just don't get why someone would say they wanted to spend time with someone else, then either not show, or cancel at the last minute. And do this repeatedly, I might add. One time I get. Things happen, something comes up, and they need to prioritize. I can even get how things just seem to happen a few times in a row. But, at that point, why not just say 'look, x is happening on [insert day of the week], I want to hang out, but it doesn't look like I'll be able to make it for a little while. I'll let you know if/when I have [insert day of the week here] free.'3 -
Honestly, it just sounds like you have ****** friends. I can relate to that too. 😬mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »I can't relate to people who are disingenuous or flaky. Say what you mean. Do what you say you're going to do. Stop messing people around.
I am a forgiving person but too much of this *kitten* turns me off.
https://i.imgur.com/oNfV8Yc.mp4
This is actually one of my pet peeves. If you can make it, say that. If you can't, say that. But don't tell me you can do something, then just not come.
I feel you. It is so annoying, and honestly it can be quite disheartening.
It’s social anxiety. I want to go and then I chicken out. Still flaky but maybe you can relate better if there’s a true explanation.
I would agree with this, if it happened once or twice. But I just had 2 months of almost all my friends unable to hang out on monday evenings. Even though, they had previously said they could, before I moved my board game meetup event to mondays. Now, to their credit, they were all able to mostly come up with reasons why they couldn't make it (work, long drive, pet sick, ect.). But the moment I moved it back to tuesdays, everyone's instantly available.
I'm willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt, that maybe those two months were bad. But I've had friends in the past (who I no longer speak to nowadays) that either couldn't, or wouldn't, want to get togehter and do stuff for 3-6 months at a time. Yet they'd always say 'oh we should hang out' or 'we should totally do [insert topic we were just discussing here]'. Like, why would you say that, if you clearly didn't want to hang out? And, we're like 2 hours away from eachother. Its not like they couldn't find a time to do something, if they wanted to.
Yeah, I don’t believe any vague invitations. The let’s get together some time thing is a polite evasion IMO.
If people really want to get together they will be specific.
Yea, but it still bothers me. Don't keep me on the hook. Cause, if I like you, I will make time for you. Instead, let me know if you can/can't make it. If you do or don't want to hang out. If nothing else, so I can make other plans.
Of course it bothers you; it’s rude and inconvenient. But can you relate?
Nope, which is why I posted it here. I simply can't relate to folks that do that to others.
Darn. I was hoping I could help.
Thank you. But how could you help?
I have found being able to understand the reasons other people do things doesn’t excuse their bad behavior but helps me to “relate.” I thought perhaps it might work for other people too. Oh well
aaaahhhh, I see. Normally, I like to try and understand someone else's point of view. I just don't understand why someone would do that to someone else. It makes no sense to me, at all.
If you can explain it, I'd be game to listen. I just don't get why someone would say they wanted to spend time with someone else, then either not show, or cancel at the last minute. And do this repeatedly, I might add. One time I get. Things happen, something comes up, and they need to prioritize. I can even get how things just seem to happen a few times in a row. But, at that point, why not just say 'look, x is happening on [insert day of the week], I want to hang out, but it doesn't look like I'll be able to make it for a little while. I'll let you know if/when I have [insert day of the week here] free.'
2 -
JustReadTheInstructions wrote: »honeybee__12 wrote: »who......always have something to say about another’s post but always answers with a passive aggressive snarky comment.
Snark is how I relate to people
I can’t do what you do, but I like it 😁3
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