What helps you keep on track? And work out how your mind works?
maiomaio71
Posts: 231 Member
Had a not-so-great-day today. Was over my calories goal but still under maintenance. I don't cope well with that, and in the past it would have set me off! I also couldn't do my planned walk as events conspired against me, keeping me at work till well after dark. I'm counting it as a victory that I haven't thrown in the towel. Someone mentioned a program they were doing where I think they journaled...is there anything else people here do that keeps them accountable and gets them thinking about what/why/when they eat? Not necessarily mindful eating but it maybe that. Or another psychology approach that helps? I did some yoga for exercise which helped me regain a bit of peace with myself, logged my food and I'm good to go...but I'm keen to try some new mental approaches if anyone has anything that they find is useful. I know that what works for some won't work for others but I'm interested anyway.
1
Replies
-
This is an excellent thread idea.
I am very proud of you for not being perfect yesterday and staying the course! For you that was a huge achievement. Now that you know you can do it the next time will hopefully be a little easier.
I will stop there and give my actual thread response in another reply.
0 -
Like you @maiomaio71 I have often gotten in my own way with weight loss. This post will deal primarily with the calorie goal line.
1) Planned overage. To break myself from fearing the evil red I would plan to go over my a set calorie amount like 100 calories. I would use that to have a treat of some sort. In my mind if it is my plan it is always okay.
2) The 6 day deficit system. When I am on my normal plan I bank enough calories in 6 days so that the 7th day can be a maintenance day.
a) Moving myself in and out of maintenance weekly broke me from fearing maintenance days and fearing the calorie goal. I still lost weight as expected.
b) Having a big treat meal to look forward to each week helped transitioned me from using long term willpower and discipline to short term. There will always be days that don't go as planned. There will always be bad days. Hopefully they don't happen too often but when they do I don't want to always go over my calories. I need to be able to "suck it up" a fair amount of time. When I have a nice big meal coming I can just remind myself I only have to make it to Sunday for some relief not however long it takes me to get to some goal weight.
c) Having banked calories available for Sunday also means they can be used earlier in the week to cover an overage and I just eat a little less on Sunday. Obviously if my overage is on Monday that doesn't work but it certainly works the other days.
3) Survive to thrive. I know me better now. I know that I am ritualistic in nature. I like a routine and it doesn't matter if it is a healthy routine or an unhealthy routine. Once I keep repeating a pattern then I lock in. I knew I had to survive the beginning no matter what so I could mentally ritualize the process. It didn't happen for some time because old rituals (alcohol in particular) had be dealt with but I forced myself to continue. Now that it is a ritual I will very likely have some difficulty stopping when it is time for me to enter maintenance. I would not be shocked if I end up a few pounds under whatever my goal will be if I don't take steps in advance.
4 -
I just keep in mind that a slip up or two and then getting back on track is still WAY better than my eating habits and activity levels of the past. I'm confident that the changes I've made will get me where I need to be, health-wise... the road on the way there will likely be bumpy but I'll get there.4
-
The other thing I should have mentioned in my wall of text is that by continuing regardless this is my new normal now. Normal has its own gravity and it pulls me in that direction. When I first started unchecked eating was normal for me so I felt the pull to do it. Now when I go on vacation I may eat more and I may enjoy it for a time but when I get back I am ready to be normal again.
This is why I say to make small changes over time and never leave normal too far behind.4 -
The lightbulb moment I had was when I realised I can eat what I want, I just need to eat less!
For example, my favourite food in the world is pizza, takeaway, shop bought, I love them all. So if I’m having a crappy day and thinking I don’t care anymore and I’m getting a takeaway I compromise with myself and buy a shop one which I can work out the calories properly. Also I make mindful choices on all my foods, getting low fat cheeses and dressings, no dressings, smaller portions etc. I always thought of diets as not being allowed to eat certain foods and denying yourself treats, this time round I’ve finally realised it’s about how much you eat.
If I do have a day I’ve gone wild, I make sure I ‘earn back’ the calories by doing some exercise4 -
The other thing I should have mentioned in my wall of text is that by continuing regardless this is my new normal now. Normal has its own gravity and it pulls me in that direction. When I first started unchecked eating was normal for me so I felt the pull to do it. Now when I go on vacation I may eat more and I may enjoy it for a time but when I get back I am ready to be normal again.
This is why I say to make small changes over time and never leave normal too far behind.
Exactly this. My current habits have been pretty much the same for 7 months, so this is just my normal routine now. It definitely takes some willpower to get to that point and stick with it, but once you do and it becomes ingrained in your behavior, it becomes easier.2 -
The other thing I should have mentioned in my wall of text is that by continuing regardless this is my new normal now. Normal has its own gravity and it pulls me in that direction. When I first started unchecked eating was normal for me so I felt the pull to do it. Now when I go on vacation I may eat more and I may enjoy it for a time but when I get back I am ready to be normal again.
This is why I say to make small changes over time and never leave normal too far behind.
Exactly this. My current habits have been pretty much the same for 7 months, so this is just my normal routine now. It definitely takes some willpower to get to that point and stick with it, but once you do and it becomes ingrained in your behavior, it becomes easier.
Right. This is what I do. I may have started on a diet but now I am not. Staying in a calorie deficit most days, weighing my food, logging are as automatic as showering, shaving, and brushing my teeth.
I am in a less normal place at this very moment so I am relying on willpower/discipline more than I like but I just keep reminding myself it is temporary and necessary and even better normal days are coming.0 -
I think the biggest thing for me is just remembering that I don't have to be perfect all the time and it's ok if I go over a little sometimes. I'm pretty sure even on my worst day in the last month I still haven't eaten as much as I used to. I haven't been feeling super great the last couple of weeks so I haven't been exercising, but I have done my best to keep my eating under control. That hasn't always been the case, but I know I'm still in a deficit and that's all that matters in the end. In the past I would have let the little things get to me and I would have quit, but I won't quit trying to make myself better, even if it's super slow going right now.
I'm already in a fairly good routine of making better choices, but I still have some problem areas I need to work on. Hopefully that will come through trial and error, and with time. I've thought about trying to keep a journal as well since I am very much a stress eater. I've also tried to think of a hobby I can do in the evenings to keep me occupied and cut down on the snacking. I'm not good at most arts & crafts, so I haven't come up with anything, but I really think it might help. Redirection can be a powerful tool3 -
Thanks guys. I'm not in the US or UK so I post before bed then wake up to all your replies. If it seems I'm not responding then it's because I'm sleeping!
I am coping better at not being perfect and just re-channeling my energy the next day. It takes me a while to stop beating myself up...if I lose 2 kg this month I'll be thinking "could have been more if you hadn't eaten that extra 300 calories on Wednesday". Im thinking that a planned maintenance day every now and then will be great. I do have my favourite foods as part of my normal plan it's just days like yesterday happen and I need to figure out why.
I have two goals for now:
1. Start weighing weekly by December to get my relationship with my scales more healthy (I want to be able to cope with a gain at some stage, cos it's going to happen)
2. Have a planned maintenance day in the next month and see how it goes.
2 -
maiomaio71 wrote: »Thanks guys. I'm not in the US or UK so I post before bed then wake up to all your replies. If it seems I'm not responding then it's because I'm sleeping!
I am coping better at not being perfect and just re-channeling my energy the next day. It takes me a while to stop beating myself up...if I lose 2 kg this month I'll be thinking "could have been more if you hadn't eaten that extra 300 calories on Wednesday". Im thinking that a planned maintenance day every now and then will be great. I do have my favourite foods as part of my normal plan it's just days like yesterday happen and I need to figure out why.
I have two goals for now:
1. Start weighing weekly by December to get my relationship with my scales more healthy (I want to be able to cope with a gain at some stage, cos it's going to happen)
2. Have a planned maintenance day in the next month and see how it goes.
We just assumed you were done with us.
I have a whole other deal for how I handled my relationship with the scale but I will spare you for now.
Math helps me. 300 calories is .038kg. You would have never seen that on the scale. Not to mention there is no way it was 300 calories. Everything with calories is averages and your daily activity is never the same. We deal in approximations. They only need to be close to accurate for us to lose weight. The system is not perfect so we don't need to be either.
1 -
For me, what works is balancing my calories by week. So the days don't matter so much as the weekly total (I have a daily goal, of course, but I keep my eye on the weekly upper limits and have MFP set up to show me by week rather than by day). I also treat calories like money: I can save them and spend them later or now. And if I really, really, really want something now, then I kind of imagine myself already having consumed it. Would I be happy with just a smaller fraction of calories? Would I be okay borrowing against tomorrow's bill to pay for an indulgence today?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I like to understand what I actually want versus what might be just convenient. Ie, that granola is delicious and it's convenient, so am I really happy spending my calories on that now? When it will mean less dinner later?
If I'm really motivated (like I am for Costa Rica in November or when I was trying to get back to my smallest after a 20lb gain from health issues), I'll put the image of what I want to "fit into" or hit as my phone home screen. So every time I'm tempted to "flip the table and walk away", I look at my phone's home screen and ask myself if I'm willing to give this up for a temper tantrum now. Most of the time, I'm not. Other times, I am, and that means I just really want it and so I have it and move on. I don't linger on overdraft days unless they string together in a long line of overdraft days.
Just like RL: once or twice in the red isn't going to hurt you too much. In fact, you'll likely not even notice it when the day's next chunk of calories fall into your account, but if you keep overdrafting then at some point, you'll pay the piper on the other end in weight gain. But really, the biggest thing I try to be mindful of is this: this is life and you have to not only live and make progress but *enjoy* it. It is meaningless to be losing weight and miserable -- that is not improving the quality of your life.
Always, always be kind to yourself.1 -
I also like referring to calories like money. I even prefer to say that something is too expensive instead of something is too high in calories.3
-
-
dhiammarath wrote: »
And it is less diet-y when you speak about it out loud.0 -
I like that idea. "Spending" calories. That works for me. Bought an actual journal today too. No online stuff for me. Think it might be good to get writing physically. Does anyone else journal rather than blog?0
-
I love this thread and have enjoyed reading everyone's approaches! I can say with a lot of experience that keeping the mental game on point is necessary. What I've found most useful is self-reflection/self-inventory. There are a lot of techniques for those, but I think the key to is to do it in a way that isn't self-condemning, which, for me, took practice.
I'll do a corroborate/contradict breakdown like this:
1). Make a statement. ("My health is important to me", "I value myself", "I'm trying to lose weight", "I love so-and-so", "I'm saving money for such-and-such" - it can be anything. For the purpose of this exercise I'll pick "My health is important to me".)
2). On one side list actions/behaviors/thoughts of that day that corroborate the statement. (I took a walk and enjoyed it - I had a lighter dinner because I accepted the doughnut offered at the morning meeting - I scheduled a doctors appointment rather than avoid the issue)
3). On the other side list actions/behaviors/thoughts of that day that contradict the statement. (I bummed a smoke off my neighbor - When I was emotional I overate chips rather than call a friend to talk - I drank caffeine all day long and can't get to sleep)
4). Reflect, celebrate and/or accept, and move on.
Most days I don't write it out, just more of a mental exercise. I only recommend this technique for those who can reflect without morbid self-condemning. When done successfully you're almost clinically looking for proof of either argument, accepting what you see there, and moving on.
Look forward to seeing what others have to say!5 -
I like this idea. I'm going to give it a go. Seeing exactly when, where and why I'm doing things will be hugely helpful. Thank you!0
-
Reminding myself that every day I eat right and stay focused is one more day closer to my goal!...feeling like my daily routine is my new normal lifestyle...I also like to use my calories like money...some foods I crave just aren’t worth the price of the calories...0
-
I've had two really good weeks, with 1.2kg lost over that time. I think that's about 2 lb?? I've increased my planned exercise, kept within calories and been telling myself positive things. I've been congratulating myself on the little things... consciously, and crazy as it sounds it really changes the way I feel. I'm telling myself I'm doing well and it makes me feel better. Ha ha I sound like a totally crazy lady but it's worked over the last couple of weeks. I've also worked out a reward system for weight lost. I have a mini-target in mind and will get a massage, then another mini-target for my nails to be done. I rarely spend the time or money on myself for these types of things so I'm hoping that will be a motivation as well.2
