ANOREXIA ALMOST KILLED ME.

my recent journey into recovery has been one the proudest, most difficult accomplishment of my life. the hardest part was recognizing that i had a problem. it was only when i fainted while exercising that i became fully aware of the power and control this condition had over my life and me. it wasn’t until my weight started to dip alarmingly that anyone around me recognized i had a battle on my hands: anorexia. seeing the weight going down on the scale, my whole body getting thinner and people pointing out how tiny i was becoming was addicting. i was already thin before being on what i called a ‘strict diet’ so people didn’t think of me as one of those success stories where someone who’s obese becomes thin, people saw that i was dying. i had a very distorted image of myself and there was no real moment when my recovery began or when i could magically shut off the voice in my head, it’s been more of a journey. after recovering from anorexia i developed compulsive overeating disorder, but that’s another story. of course i don’t have my dream body yet, and that’s ok. i am now beginning to measure myself in strength, not pounds, sometimes in smiles. i am proud of discovering who i am through my struggle, and my greatest hope is that others will never have to work through an eating disorder to discover who they are.
[first pic is june 2018, second pic is july 2019]