I can never stick to it, how do you?!

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

If you have trouble committing to a plan or sticking with a plan, pick an easier plan.

Work on being patient and having realistic expectations.

For weight loss calories are king. So start out with a boringly moderate weekly weight loss goal like 1 lb, and give yourself TWO rules - log everything accurately, and stick close to your calorie goal. That's it. Then learn as you go, and add small changes that make it easier to hit your calorie goal, one at a time, when you feel up to it. Start taking walks and pick an at home strength training program.

You don't have to eat specific food, you don't have to eat on a specific schedule, you don't have to go to the gym. Stop letting people sell you on the idea that losing weight is complicated. That you have to fast, or cut out food groups, or do their workout.

Check out the Most Helpful Posts threads pinned to the top of each sub-forum, lots of great info there. Good luck!

You've gotten some good advice in here, and hopefully you can see that there is no one-size-fits all approach. So give yourself the time to figure out what works for you. If you screw up, don't just throw it all away: use it as a learning opportunity and do some troubleshooting. For example, what was your state of mind when you went through the drive-thru after work instead of going home to make dinner? Were you just too hungry at that point? You could work an afternoon snack into your meal plan so that doesn't happen. Try that, see if it works. If not, reassess and try a different approach.

Two big things that helped me:
1) Involve other people. When I knew I wanted to start calorie tracking and getting back to the gym more regularly, I told my husband that it was a goal of mine. Not only did that give me some accountability to say it out loud, but it also set up the expectations of when I would be gone and when I was expecting him to watch our kid. Now we have a very regular weekly routine that allows time for both of us to work out, and both of us to spend time with our son. I also like going to a smaller gym with classes where the instructors know me. When I leave, I tell them "see you on Thursday!" or "I can't make Thursday's class this week, but I'll try to come on Friday." It's stating it out loud for myself, but also involving other people in that expectation. And of course you have people here if you want to add friends or get on board with one of the accountability challenges!

2) Find something that you really like about changing your lifestyle, and use that to your advantage. I love to cook. I love trying out new recipes and making things from scratch and sharing them with my friends and family. So I took the time to build some of my favorite recipes in the MFP recipe builder and accurately weigh the ingredients and final products on a food scale, so I could still enjoy some of my favorite meals as long as they were within my calories. I also dove deep on Pinterest and other sites to find new recipes. (And bonus: this made me realize that healthy meals aren't only salads and grilled chicken. My chicken enchiladas that I always considered an indulgence food and not a "diet" food come in under 500 calories/serving! That totally fits into a normal dinner portion for me, as long as I stick to that serving size and don't add too much cheese/extras). I build a meal plan each week that combines some old favorites with new recipes to keep things interesting. I have 0% temptation to stop at a drive-thru on the way home when I know what I'm having for dinner and it's something I enjoy! If cooking isn't your thing, you don't have to do it this way, but I'm sure you can find a strength or interest that will help!

And a 3rd honorable mention point: be flexible. Sure, I've got that meal plan, but that doesn't mean I can't move some things around every so often if a friend wants to go out to lunch. It's just one day, one meal, and doesn't derail everything else.

Don't rely on willpower. Discipline is the answer. Freedom and success are outputs of discipline.

Start small - make your bed. Make a list of 5 habits that are not helpful to your goals and prioritize these 1-5. Scratch off 2-5 and focus on number 1. Identify a habit you want to adopt that will help you hit your goals and replace this "good" habit with the "bad" habit. After several weeks when this new habit is fully ingrained then repeated this process.

xDaynie wrote: »

I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life. I can mentally think all this, but physically I cant stick to it. Mind is not over matter in my case and I need it to be.

How did you flick that switch?! What changed you, what made it *LIGHTBULB* in yourself.


"Ill start Monday" is no more... But thats my point, I mean it when I say it in my head but on Monday my hands steer the car home after work, not to the gym, and they grab the chips out of the cupboard, not the carrots.

On the upside, I have managed to up my water consumption consistantly, so I am capable of changing habits. But eating healthily, and gyming are my downfalls. I have taken on swimming, which I actually enjoy, I plan to go once a week and gym the rest of my excercise days.

I know the answer to all of this is "Just do it" and thats what I should do, but what is the answer when that doesnt work?

Many people have given you good practical advice above, with which I agree. So I'm going to be all squishy and psychological.

Two thoughts, one general, one specific.

The general one: Self-definition is really important. You are saying "laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over", "physically I cant stick to it", etc. (Italics added by me, BTW.)

You speak of those things as if they are unchangeable. They're not. At minimum, look for a way to turn those into "I used to not be able to physically stick to it, but I will work at it until I find a way". In your thinking, create some room for change, some expectation that you can change . . . because you can. "I always <undesired behavioral thing>" can become "I used to <undesired behavioral thing>", and you want to work it toward "I now <desired behavioral thing>". Create some conceptual room to improve yourself, to appreciate that positive choices are possible.

The more specific one: It's about "I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over . . .". I agree with jjpptt2, if you truly wanted it more than anything, you'd be doing it.

Additionally, what I'm seeing in that statement (I think) is something I also see in myself, and struggle with. It is the issue of how much my current self truly wants something, in competition with what my future self truly needs. My current self, truthfully, often wants to be lazy, and always wants to be pleasure-seeking.

Many of the things my current self wants (say, to eat the whole deep-dish pizza, plus a few beers, then go out for gelato), if indulged routinely, are not going to give my future self even a minimally adequate quality of life. Future Ann will be obese, inactive, taking multiple drugs for avoidable health conditions, that all have side effects, especially in combinations. She will need joint replacements sooner rather than later, then will recover more poorly from the surgeries. She will need to live within severe dietary restrictions (because of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, maybe diabetes, etc.) or suffer really major health consequences short run let alone long run if she eats those disallowed foods. She will have restricted mobility much younger, so not be able to go have fun at art fairs, music festivals, stadiums, or anywhere else that involves lots of walking and stairs. She will need to give up her independence and move permanently to an assisted living facility at a younger age, and will probably be sicker longer late in life, and die younger.

How do I know this? Two ways: One, I came close. At the beginning of 2015, age 59, I was obese, with high blood pressure and high cholesterol, with my doctor telling me I needed to start taking statins to reduce heart disease risk. My joints were really painful, carrying all that extra weight around with osteoarthritis. Two, I have a lot of friends my age who've gone down that negative route, and I'm seeing all those bad things play out in their lives. I also have friends my age and a decade or more older at a healthy weight who are athletically active. They have some aging-related issues, but can bounce back much faster from any surgeries, they take many fewer meds, and they routinely do much more fun stuff, and can eat a mega-indulge-y meal now and then with zero negative consequences. I want to be like that second group in a few years, not like that first group.

The writing was on the wall, all bold and clear, right in front of me. I needed to find a way to balance my current self's pleasure-seeking with my future self's health needs, or life was going to be shorter and unhappier.

But here's the good news: Figuring that out is, more generally, figuring out how to game your own preferences and habits in order to cultivate deferred gratification, to accept doing some OK but slightly less fun stuff today, for a big benefit later. And the skills involved in that transfer over into other areas of life, like (say) saving for retirement, or educating yourself for a better job by taking a class at a time over many college semesters. It's a hugely positive set of life skills, worth having.

You can do what you aspire to. You do need to make some choices. Good ideas in preceding posts about how to implement them!