We broke up because...
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Too cute0
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Didn't like blueberry muffins0
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We did? First I knew
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She kept licking me in public! I’m not a piece of meat Jo!!2
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She ironically treated me like a piece of meat.0
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He found a black fly in my Chardonnay, isn't it ironic2
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Because she said my feet smelled of saurkraut1
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I'm Mr. Play it safe, afraid of a fly...1
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I dunno he packed a suitcase and kisses the kids goodbye2
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She waited her WHOLE damn life to take that flight2
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I came home and the furniture and her were missing
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There was a traffic jam and I was already late...0
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You left me for the neighbour, his wife wasn't happy either
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There was a no smoooking sign on her cigarette break 😂1
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She called things ironic that weren't. How ironic! Plus she was collecting like 10,000 spoons.1
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He ate all the cookies, including the neighbours1
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Her crazy ex kept breaking into my house and stealing my cookies0
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She changed the locks and I couldn't get to her cookies.1
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He kept losing the house keys. I gave up0
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I'm pretty sure he put the hole in my kayak.. I think he was trying to kill me.0
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